I am jolly well going to get pregnant this month and I'll brook no argument.

[allhailtheaubergine]

Who's in?

Sorry, Aubergine, x-posts. What does the stick know anyway, as you say?

I am seriously considering splashing out on a Clearblue monitor... I spend my money on the most fun things.

It's a Clearblue digital thingy with disposable pink sticks to wee on and a smiley face or a disdainful blank. Stupid thing.

Lintilla and Bloof sorry chaps. What a fucker. But the GREAT news is that you get a whole new month to try with at no extra cost. In fact, lets just call that one a practice run. THIS is the real go. And the timing would have been dreadful if you'd smacked the rat now anyway. ALL the best people are getting pregnant later this month. Fact.

Now. LIACC - darling, we 2ww'd last month together under a different name change (I was utterly sycophantic about your marvellous name) and I KNOW that you are made of sterner stuff than that. IGNORE the whispering voices. Listen to the VERY LOUD BLIND OPTIMISM SPLASHING ABOUT THIS THREAD. Buy yourself a new toy to wee on. All the cool girls have one.

The rest of you - you are all positively glowing. Good work!

I have another question.

Does my new weeing toy have a memory? Otherwise why test at the same time as yesterday? Is it comparing todays levels to the last time I tested? Actually measuring a 'surge' as it says?

Or is it just noticing high levels of whatever it is looking for?

AND... (while I'm spamming the thread anyway)... my instructions instruct me that a smiley face means it's time to make love.

Make lurrrrrrrrrve uhhhhh huh.

Ooooooh yeahhhhhhhhh.

Well it can just fuck off with it's "make love". At this stage we are HAVING SEX and nobody is enjoying it. Okay?

If the new toy is the smiley face CB ov tests, you don't need to test at the same time each day as there is no memory. BUT apparently the surge usually happens in themorning and reaches your urine by early afternoon and can be gone again by evening, so most brands suggest testing around 2pm (although I think the CB instructions say any time is fine).

Ladies! May I join? (though of course none of us should be here at all, anyone up for starting a thread on the pregnancy boards?)

Allow me to fill you in. I am obviously going to be pregnant this month (if not already) as I have just been and bought 4 first response tests, 2 sainsburys and 6 pound land cheepies. Therefore the first stick I wee on (not that I have already peed on said stick) shall have such a blindingly obvious positive that I shall have a plethora of pregnancy tests left over. Which of course, would be suitable for the bonfire which I believe is steadily growing.....

Schobe - your twinges (quite a way back up this thread now) are obviously implantation. Get ordering that Moses basket.

MaybebabyR - welcome. Though you'll need to name change to DefinitelyBabyR :)

Everyone else - keep up the good work.

Can I join in!!!

Aubergine - of course I remember you from the May testing thread - lovely to see you again (and you, maybe - is like a little reunion here!). You are quite right, of course - I have pulled myself together and am of course pregnant, although may buy myself a shiny new weeing toy just in case. maybe, I love your idea of a TTC Fantasists thread in Pregnancy - although I am too much of a wuss to start it.

Welcome to Blackcoffee too .

As I am pregnant, ought I really to be sitting here drinking wine? Perhaps I shall get my knitting out instead and get working on the baby blanket I have now purchased the wool for. As I am pregnant, do I really have to do sexing tonight? I'm on CD21 without OV, do you know how miuch sex that means I have had?

Hello! I would like to join this oh so positive thread

I have been ttc for 18 months now with a miscarriage at the end of last year thrown in just to add a bit of excitement to it all. Really I am terribly bored of the whole thing by now.

Anyway, I am pretty sure that I did actually have quite a bit of sex at vaguely the right time this month (it's hard to tell as I threw out all my opks and temping stuff a few months ago in a moment of madness) so I am absolutely sure I must be pregnant...

I did consider throwing my mooncup away but instead I thought I would add a bit of elastic or some hair pins to it and then I could wear it as a fascinator to the next wedding I am invited to. I might even add a feather or two

Can I join too? I have a scan booked for 13 June to check my insides are working, so will clearly be pregnant before then.

Well that's worked for a couple of people I know WelshRabbit so fingers crossed!

Can I join? Month 4 of ttc and still adopting the shag lots method. Starting to think I need to invest in some sort of gadget to do things scientifically. Any recomendations?

thereistheball - thanks, good to have the definite pregnancy confirmed.

Fuchzia - I would just get a digital thermometer and join fertilityfriends.com. If you chart your temperature when you wake up each morning for a couple of months, you should find out when you're ovulating.

RIGHT, who's pregnant hm? I've just been out and bought six new balls of finest cashmere woven from the bottoms of pygmy mountain goats. It's bootees a-go-go this end.

I am rather enjoying this particular period. You know. As I won't get a chance to have another one for another 9 months. Might as well make the most of the chance to demand chocs and warm baths whenever I please.

'Make love'! A ha! A ha ha ha! A-Ha Ha Ha Ha HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone has sweetly given me their fertility thermometer (I am assuming it doesn't necessarily go up my growler, right?!) so between that and the Baby COmputer I think we're all agreed this is THE. MONTH.

Shame I'll still be doing my PhD.

Timing COuldn't Be Worse, Really.

Bloofer I too am still doing my PhD. Couldn't be worse timing, therefore we will be pregnant. Fact.

I have all my baby knitting patterns sorted already. Of course, by Feb next year, I shall have a baby to put in them....

Pleased you've pulled yourself together love, it's only a matter of time you know

We're idiots really maybe. FOOLS TO OURSELVES. What ghastly, ghastly timing. What foolish ideas.

ARE YOU LISTENING, FATES?!?!?!?!

What's your subject, old thing? And remind me why we're doing this to ourselves again?!

Neuroscience my dear, neuroscience. And yours? I don't know why we do it. To test our multi-tasking capabillities?

Satan on a unicorn, that sounds tough. Mine's a rare and strange by-product of English Literature (there are only a few doing it so I shall out myself if I explain. Not that I seriously think all my acquaintances are scouring Mumsnet for details of my wombular arrangements).

It's due in 4 weeks. Oh dear me yes.

Ooooh, rare and strange eh? Most intriguing! I too worry about outing myself, but seen as I am mainly surrounded by men, I don't see that as a possibility!

Thesis due in 4 weeks? I feel your pain. Mine isn't due till Jan 2013. Which of course means that I shall have an 11 month old to boot. Joy.

We did the deed has night as yesterday was smileypeestickday so I'm actually feeling a bit pg already today. This necessitates treating myself to my favourite food and not over-exerting myself with chores, just to be safe.

Think we should prob. have a bit of action again tonight just in case I've got slow eggs.

My Rat is definitely feeling Smacked.

Oh and I'm signed off work for another month so I'll obv. be going back preggers. Timing Couldn't Be Worse Really.

Right, I have bought a Clearblue fertility monitor on eBay (and am now wondering if is gross to have done so given that wee is involved, but have decided to overlook that for now) but I will clearly not be needing given that I am, even now, obviously in A Delicate Condition. If my temperature stays above about 36.58 tomorrow Fertility Friend will decide that I ovulated on Tuesday, so I am obviously With Child (although must confess that this month's chart does look somewhat duff - can't really see the thermal shift myself, and mine is usually pretty definite). But I am obviously so very pregnant that mere temperatures are irrelevant. I may spend lunchtime browsing maternity wear.

Good news!!

I am DEFINITELY ovulating! I know this because I am suddenly very aware of all the handsome young men within a 4 mile radius of me. I was watching a young 20something playing football on the beach last night and it was poetry - all that energy... all that youthfulness...

Whut? Yes, ahem, I'm back. And the chap at the supermarket checkout with his shiny shiny black ponytail and his dewy youthful... good looks. Ahem again.

So fuck what my stupid weeing stick thinks with its stupid O again. What does it know anyway? It's a fucking stick with a pink hat, and the highlight of its day is when someone wees on its head.

Well quite aubers.

No news here. The 2 weeks drag as ever.

Gracious aubers, you'll be spontaneously conceiving with all that lust innocent appreciation of youth and good health

FWIW I never got on O on them sticks, only on the baby computer. And I pretty much always get the horn at That Time.

Off to do a workout and sauna L8R. Might as well make the most of it. Won't be sauna-ing next month, what with being pregnant and all.

Where is everyone? Are you all off sexing?

I'm starting to fear rather that it is actually NEXT month that I am definitely due to get pregnant and I've inadvertantly joined the wrong thread.

These mix ups can happen and I can only apologise if that turns out to be the case. I will keep you posted of course.