Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 3

[Curlylox]

As you were ladies

Hi all
Well, we managed to sneak away without you lot!!!!! It was a lovely weekend really chilling.It seems odd being Mother's day but as i see it i am a mother just Georgie's not here.We collected her paperweight on Friday and it is totally stunning.Lovely.The only thing is they returned some more of her ashes we keep trying to spread Georgie's ashes and like a boomerang they keep coming back to us!!!! Vommited on Friday and so nauseaus.....continued intermittently over the weekend.
Hope everyone has had a nice weekend? XXXXXXXXXXX
Curly sorry you re down on your results.XXX
Gum sorry you re down generally XXX
Hippy sounds promising about your potential buyers.FX for you.
Diege like you i won t be having the nuchal scan i didn t with Georgie and like you i know my risk would come back as high due to my age and theres no way i 'd terminate either.I haven t had a date for my 12 week scan yet but i m not seeing my MW till 18th April so assume she'll request a scan then.Not so bothered at the moment as my 2 week scans will be continuing to about 13 weeks and as i m not having the nuchal scan so times not of the essence.
Oh Hippy thanks for your very kind wishes about mother's day XXXXX
Happy Mothers day all XXXXXX

Gum I am so sorry. You sound like you are having to accept that the odds are stacked against you in every way. This has been your dream for such a long time, it must be very hard to let go. You need to have a separate focus - NOT a NEW focus - just one that can go alongside for the time being. The energy that you have spent on your dream needs to go somewhere - and at the moment it's in danger of becoming anger at your dh.

Thinking of you and sending you a massive (((())))

Just popping on double quick as we are off at 5am. to beat the M25 car-park. Just wanted to say to gum. Sorry that you and your DH are not on the same page at the moment. I know it's hard but remember that you have been through a lot of highs together as well as the low that was your MMC and the current low that is wanting different things. You are obviously a lovely family and I hope you are able to resolve this difference of opinion. You asked how IOW was but we've not been yet - tomorrow my dear - be patient!

lou yes you are indeed a mummy and next year you'll have Georgie and GBOS to think about. Big kisses for you (even though you buggered off to spa without me.)

DS2 - bum all ok. Able to go to cinema and to my mums today - so all good. Thanks for all the good wished you sent to his bum

Gotta go - hubbie wants to practice his interview technique. Bye for now. Will report back on tues.

Love to all.

curly thanks for the forgivness, honey. I am soooo paranoid. X

Have a great trip Hippy! Look forward to hearing all about it on Tuesday
Ah Gum, I really feel for you Those are wise words from Lol, but I suppose it will take some time to mentally adjust, even if just in the short term as things may change again. I know that feeling when, on paper, you have it all, but there is still a yearning there, and wish I could advise you better, but it may be a case of just hanging on in there, talking with dh as much as you can, and not being afraid to show your anger/upset. Thinking of you x
Lou sounds like you had a great spa break - did you see us tapping on the window?
Feeling I'm coming into the home stretch sickness-wise. NO evidence to suggest this physically, as still feeling bleughhh, but 'on paper' will be 9 wks weds, meaning (in my desperate brain) into the 10th by thurs, giving just a few more weeks before it starts to subside (fingers crossed). I can honestly say that if all goes to plan I will NEVER be doing this again!
Working from home today, but dds also off school (mad school hols), and will have to take all 3 to the dentists with me which will not be fun. Nothing like pain to distract me from vomiting though.
Love to all!

oh Gum I really feel for you :(. Hard to find the right words. Just a good old fashioned squeeze for you today. Very wise words from lol btw xxx

Diege glad you're still feeling awful . Good luck at the dentist.

Must shake a leg - MIL arriving imminently...

Hippy enjoy your day,have you been to the IOW before? We used to go as kids for our holidays "Sandown Bay" was always lovely and sunny.
Gum ((()))
Hi everyone else XXX

Thanks girls. I feel like shit at the moment.Many hours in tears, but am just going to have to somehow come to terms with this. At least I'll get off the two week rollercoaster, SWI and all that wasted money on tests,acupuncture,supplements,tiny baby clothes and maternity wear...

I'll check up on you from time to time, but I think it is probably best I stay away from these threads, cos it hurts too much.

Good luck everyone, I truly hope you'll get your little ones.

ahhh gum so sorry will really miss you :-( but I know what you mean about it hurting too much, hope you still feel able to pop in and give us updates on what you're up to?

I had lows on my cbm until saturday then a sudden peak so I'm chuffed I'm still ovulating - unfortunately this has coincided with dh being on some tablets that have the unfortunate side effect of making him incapable of completing the act so as to speak - typical lol

Gum . I will be so sad if you're not around here to chat to anymore - you are part of the snug! Does Dh have any idea how wretched you feel about this whole thing? You're not trying to spare his feelings I hope? I know if it were me (your dh) and I could see how much pain you were in, there's no way I wouldn't ttc. Sorry, that's not very helpful is it . Just don't want you to feel you've thrown in the towel without exploring every last shred of hope xxx

Oh and Tina what a bummer about dh and his tablets...could do with them over here actually, not that he's done more than mildly suggest...

Sorry Gum XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gum I really don't know what to say other than sorry. I feel I can relate a little to how you must be feeling and it's gut wrenching.......here's a huge virtual hug
(((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))

Gum so sorry you are going, will miss you.

Hi ladies, thinking of you all.

I went a bit mad today and told the dentist I might be pregnant, so could not have X-rays! I am only 7 days overdue and I know I am not so what am I doing???

gum so sorry you are going.

I'm also feeling pretty hopeless, period only 2-3 days again, so I know there is something wrong but docs say nothing. It's too frustrating and I wonder whether it's time to give up.

On the plus side, have Bern swimming in clear seas and lying on white sands . Seriously tempted to take a year off...

Been not Bern bloody iPad

Beattie, that sounds lovely, as does a year off! My acupuncturist keeps telling me the light period is nothing to worry about too. I can't help but wonder. I have been drinking nettle infusions up til a few days ago - I didn't like the taste, but it is supposed to help. I've also added a baby aspirin to my sups, as that can help more blood flow - but I can't see it helping the lining thicken.

Do you recommend Vietnam for a family holiday?

Italian - there is a possibility you are pregnant and if you are 7 days late you could do a test.

O.M.G, you are all going to think I'm the boy who cried wolf. But honestly - I have been telling you the truth.

I've had a rough few days with DH. I just didn't know what to do with myself. Yesterday I asked him if he would please reconsider. I think he was concerned I might do something crazy (leave, hurt myself, I don't know...) and it was just before he left for work. He said, "If you still feel this way on the anniversary of the miscarriage, then we can try for a baby. But I'll have to look into selling the house."

Of course I lost it then, I wasn't very pleased to say the least. He went to work, I felt awful and we left it at that. This morning I said I felt we still needed to talk, so we will later or tomorrow (he's working til quite late tonight).

I suppose it gives me a glimmer of hope, but then again I feel he just said that to placate me. He knows I wouldn't want to uproot the family and move, but I honestly don't think I have to sell the house.He's just catastrophising(spelling?).

How do a couple come to a compromise when it's a black and white subject? You either try for a baby or you don't.

When we do talk I'll be telling him I think that if December is alright for ttc, then any month is, and we really do have a time issue. Perhaps he thinks by then I won't want to ttc.He is mad if he thinks I'll just give up.

Ugh...so more to talk about and nothing really resolved. I just keep thinking that I should be 25 weeks pregnant now and none of this would be an issue.

Sorry that this post is so sad and boring!

hey gum big hugs to you, at least he's discussing things so it's a start but I can understand how upsetting and sad this is for you, I've never wanted a baby so much in my life and years ago it all seemed so easy and i never imagined I would feel so desperate for another, probably never imagined I'd ever feel too old to have one lol!

I went to the Dr's yesterday and asked for a referral to the fertlitiy clinic for further investigations, my hubby was initially against this but he came with me and is supporting me all the way now as he knows I'm worried about what effect chlamydia has had on my body.

I'm hoping that I get pregnant before i even have my consultation to be honest but at the least if I have the initial tests and know everythings ok it'll stop ne obsessing so much!!

anyway gum i hope your hubby comes to understand and support your wishes and that (like all of us here) you are successful and get a BFP soon!

gum I remember when I was keeping count of how pregnant I WOULD HAVE been if I hadn't miscarried and it is horribe. It's actually easier now that the due date for both has passed. I'm so sorry that you're not 25 weeks pregnant and that this is all happening. Why did he say sell the house - money or space??? Could you try councelling?

italian I think you should test. I know that you feel that you're not pregnant because you have struggled to conceive naturally before but if it were me I'd rather know. Could your periods have gone walk about again? Get a cheap tescos own test and do it - a week late will defo give you a second line if there is a baby - so you'll know for definite one way or the other. Good luck, lovey

diege sorry you're still chucking up but just remember not that long ago you thought it was all over and you were proven wrong - so the sickness is actually a good sign that it's all continuing (easily said when I'm not the one being sick)

lou have I been to the IOW before??? Are you taking the piss???

tina sorry to hear about the timing of the tablets (bromide in the tea). I know what you mean about not ever thinking you'd want a baby this much. I had 2 kids and was luck enough to have them when I wanted and would never have believed that I could find myself at 44 wanting another one and being on my 10th consecutive month of trying. If I do decide to stop trying it will be very odd because I have never wanted a baby and not got one before (sorry if that sounds dead smug - it's not meant to, it's just that I am having to adjust my expectations). I hope that the consultations go well and that you actually manage to get pregnant before. I was pregnant (but didn't know it) when a consultant told me he thought it would be very unlikely I would get pregnant without clomid (I got pregnant again after that too) so he was rubbish!!

Sorry for not coming on to the thread yesterday. I was knackered and had a house viewing so had to spruce the place up. I've got another viewing today at 5 - so please all of you don't touch anything

IOW trip went well - bloody long day. Interview OK but DH thinks he may have waffled a bit he just can't help himself. We looked at a high school for DS1 but it was hard to judge as it is being re-built and the school that is there now will be replaced in a year with a super duper one. They did do loads of activities that would suit him though.

We had a good long drive around all the areas that we are interested in and it was beautiful (a fabulous sunny day helped a lot). We were so busy doing research that we nearly left it too late for DH to change into his suiteetc and he was a bit rushed at the start of the interview .

Will know by end of week about the job. I am starting to get a bit scared now - it's hard to make decisions when you wonder if you are effecting your children's future.

BB holiday sounds fab.

jolls ((())) Hugs for you cos I feel like it

nicole where are you, matey?

panashe - how are you doing?

I'm the one getting paranoid now hippy..... BB Vietnam sounds idyllic

Waves to everyone else, keeping it short and sweet as at work pah, when I would rather be at home/outside enjoying this wonderful weather.

Hippy glad your day went well.XXXXXX Fingers cossed for you hubby.
BB your holiday sounds bliss.Enjoy.
Gum don t really know what to say othe than i hope you 2 can talk stuff through and come to a suitable compromise.
Italian maybe you telling the dentist was a preminition????
Hi Curly
Tina hope your referral comes through quickly.
Hi to all.Nice day here and not at work.Oh bliss!!!!! Right off for a

(((((curly)))))

Oooh you lucky sausage lou, fingers crossed the sun will shine tomorrow too as don't work Thurs or Fri. Italian how sure are you that you're not? Hippy glad you all had a great day in IOW and I'm sure your dh pulled it off at job interview. BB when are you back, that's if you don't forget to come back . Gum fx Dh will come round to your way of thinking. Tina hope you're not waiting too long for your appointment. Lol where are you?
Got appointment to see gyna/ob consultant tomorrow evening, Dr did say "he's a lovely lovely man" and have asked around and heard the same. Trying to keep an open mind but looking at things with glass half empty perception, as it'll be easier (I think) to accept any negative news we may get.

I get where you're coming from curly - I am a 'think the worst' kinda girl too. But I did put a quote on here a while back - It's better to be optimistic through your lifetime, the outcome will be the same either way but the journey is nicer. SOmething like that anyway. Hard to stick to though, I know. Glad the cons is a nice man. Good luck. X