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Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 3

1001 replies

Curlylox · 29/03/2011 20:29

As you were ladies Smile

OP posts:
TTTonTour · 26/05/2011 19:59

Absolutely Fireflies Though first there should be a group rendition of I WILL SURVIVE for LOL

I won't be watching the too old to be a mother programme - I am neurotic enough all ready. I am already stressing about the birth - not about the pain or the process - but about the risk. I can't bear to do anything risky for the baby - and I can't imagine anything worse than having 2 dead children. Sorry - morbid I know!

I also tend to think the older mother thing is over-played. My mum was 40 when she had me (and look how normal I am) Grin However, I have to admit the really good parenting I had as a chlid was all from my paternal grandmother, who was in her 60s. I had C when I was 36 and was the second oldest in my antenatal group - but we always seem to do more than the other mums - who never wanted to go anywhere, other than coffee at each others housing or the local mums and tots... So I'm guessing that programme would only make me cross anyway....

(sprinkles lots of fairy dust around)... haven't done that for a while... and raises a virgin bloody mary to toast fireflies wee embies... how exciting... fingers crossed everyone xx

Italiangreyhound · 26/05/2011 23:14

10000fireflies I will have spicy-honey roast duck with sour-cherry and orange marmalade and dauphinoise potatoes, please! Yum!

Tank not seen it yet and I am sure it will make me equally mad! I was the second oldest in my antenatal group too.

Italiangreyhound · 26/05/2011 23:14

Tank and we are quite adventurous and go out a lot!

AngelGeorgie · 27/05/2011 06:54

Quick post; have a lovely weekend all off to " London" to see "Billy Elliot" tonight. Hope you all have nice stuff planned. Nothing to report here!! Work keeping me busy GBOS fine heard a nice loud heartbeat on my Doppler last night. Back Sunday so will catch up properly then. Enjoy whatever you are all doing , hopefully, swi!!! Xxxxx

shandybass · 27/05/2011 13:50

Hi. Just a quick update. Had the second scan today and after some confusion and difficulties the doctor confirmed there was no hope and I have opted for the medical management m/c and have taken one tablet today. I'm booked to go back Sun for the rest of the tablets and await the womb to empty.

Im not feeling much at the moment but I'll be glad for this episode to be over. I told my Mum in a way if this pg had carried on I would have constantly thought there was something wrong.

I'm trying to count my blessings now, not least my two lovely dd's and dh and our health.

TTTonTour · 27/05/2011 14:18

Oh Shandy I'm so sorry. I know you felt in your heart there was no hope, but having it confirmed must have been stressful and difficult. Sending you lots of love xx

hippychick66 · 27/05/2011 14:24

shandy ((())) - so sorry to see your news. I know what you mean, I felt it necessary to count my blessing when I lost my little ones as well. BUT it is important to allow yourself to feel annoyed, sad, grieved, F-ing Pissed off, whatever you need to feel. Really sorry it couldn't have been better news, Hon. XXX

Tank - have you decided to go with the strep B test? I know you're nervous about 'fidget' but I'm sure she will be fine. I know there is no point telling you that the odds say she will make it here fine cos you are one person who 'odds' mean nothing too. Get checked out for strep and try to keep positive, my lovely. Grin

ps. This clomide makes your boobs feel bigger (it's only bloody day 5 and I'm on BiscuitBiscuit watch already Shock

hippychick66 · 27/05/2011 14:32

I was in Tescos today and they were promoting a new Shloer - Summer Fruit Punch. It was really nice (like Pimms but without the alcohol). So i have made up a few jugs of it with Strawbs, cucumber and berries. I will leave them here, help yourselves, suitable for preggos and non-preggos alike. Grin

Diege · 27/05/2011 14:39

Ooh Hippy the Shloer sounds lovely! Seems like the clomid is kicking in - are you still having some nausea?
Shandy I am so sorry that your fears were confirmed Sad. I do, however, know what you mean about worrying about that pregnancy if things had been progressing. Thinking of you xx
Still feeling rotten here, but slightly better than yesterday, so hopeful I'll feel better in a day or 2. Oh and happy birthday to me! 41 today Grin
Off to Whitby tomorrow, so booking my away pass fromn the snug, and see you all in a week's time!

Mitzimaybe · 27/05/2011 15:24

Thanks for the schloer, hippy. I'm driving up north tonight so can't have alcohol, so it's perfect!

Shandy, so very sorry for you. Remember that your hormones will be all over the place so allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and do whatever you need to do. By all means count your blessings, but allow yourself to grieve, too.

10000fireflies · 27/05/2011 18:42

Shandy so sorry to hear your news. Really admire your strength dealing with it, though agree with the others that you should take it easy for a bit and deal with it properly before moving on. Xx

Hippy ooo, lovely Pimms, thanks! How are the BiscuitBiscuits? Have they grown since your last message??

Diege HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Oh to be young again!!! How about some chocolate torte to celebrate along with some Pimms? Have a good time in Whitby and hope you?re properly better soon.

Italian re having girls. Wasn?t in my book. Was in one in bookshop. As soon as I read the bit about it not being recommended for women having probems TTC I put it down!! Did have a little search online and there seem to be plenty articles with ?interesting? theories in though.

Anyone else for a slice of torte?

Diege · 27/05/2011 19:34

Ooh yes fireflies a large slice of torte for me. Could I have some lemon though please??? Mmmm...
Feeling better but no dh is feeling ill and of course his is far worse...Hmm
Bistro is open now, 2nd night in a run I think!

panashe · 27/05/2011 19:41

Diege Happy happy birthday xx

Shandy really sorry about your scan, will be thinking about you x

10000 how are you feeling ? Any more symptom spotting ? I'll have chocolate torte with you and a tiny tiny glass of Sauvignon blanc Grin

Love to all, dp home soon and we will be busy swi this weekend, even though tmrw we picking up keys for house.

Thinking of you lol xx

Italiangreyhound · 27/05/2011 20:20

Hippy the last thing you need is something to make your boobs bigger!

I'll have this, please

most-expensive.net/foods

This bagel, created by Executive Chef Frank Tujague for New York?s Westin Hotel, is topped with white truffle cream cheese and goji berry infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves. The bagel?s price is justified when you consider that white truffles happen to be the second most expensive food by weight, eclipsed only by caviar. The underground fungus grows only under specific oak trees in Alba, Italy. Their pheromone-like odor is considered to be an aphrodisiac and is the reason dogs and female pigs are used to hunt the precious truffle.

From my native Italy, don't you know!

Italiangreyhound · 27/05/2011 23:46

No one else ordering food at the bistro?

I watched a bit of that programme about too old to be a mum and it was bloody annoying! I mean the basic message was don't leave it too late to have a baby but really it was dreadfully patronising and stupid! So well done those of you who did not bother with the twaddle! I think I have more energy now than I had in my 20s and I stay up later. There was a nice bit with a woman, who adopted and was lovely and was a bright spot in the programme (I should say I only watched the second half!). At the end there was a bit where the baby was asleep and the mum was having a kip and the camerman/dad joked 'Are you sleeping because you are 42?' and I thoughht WTF (sorry I don't usually swear as you know!) BUT I am sure any mum to a newborn baby would do what we all get advised to do and sleep when they sleep!

I am glad I watched it, I am used now to being old but I guess what I feel is you are what age you are! If someone said to me at 27 do you want a baby, well yes, I did, but I had no hubby, no home and no job! I think I started trying as quickly as I could. Maybe if I could turn back time I would have started a bit earlier! But that is all in the past!

The good bit was Zita West annalysing people and seeing if they have long to go on their egg reserve. I met her in person at the London fertility show and she was great. She noticed my bloated tummy straight away and asked if I had been scanned! Most people just think I am pregnant!

Hugs to all.....Love and hugs and baby dust to all!

hopefulgum · 28/05/2011 00:25

Shandy, I am so sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve your little one.

Deige, sorry to hear you've been feeling poorly. Happy Birthday. I hope you have a lovely relaxed time in Whitby. I just googled it and it looks very nice. Enjoy.

10000 - how are you? Any little signs at all?

Italian, I think that TV show would have made me cranky too. I would really like to hear some feel good positive stuff about women in their forties who have had babies. I know it is important to remind people that our egg reserve and quality will lessen over time, but as you said, we don't necessarily know how our circumstances will play out. In my case, if you's told me at 24, when I had my first, that I'd still be ttc in my 40's, hoping for 6 kids I would have thought you were bonkers. I thought I'd have two or three. It wasn't til I'd had three that I wanted one more, and then it wasn't til I was 38 that I realized I really wanted a large family.
You must be getting very close to starting your treatment Italian? DId you say it would clash with your holiday? Where are you planning to go? I'm excited about you starting treatment .Smile

BTW, I have looked into the trying for a girl thing and there are two ways of looking at it: SWI a few days before ovulation, stopping about two days before (I think), but another lady who had 5 boys (whilst trying that approach) swears the only way is to have swi after ovulation. I would have thought that would be leaving it too late, but she wrote a book I think.Sorry, can't tell you what it is called. I remember one of the forty something ladies trying for a girl (and she got one) using the Shettles method. I can't remember her nick-name. But I bet if you started a thread on MN you'd get plenty of response. I have two girls, but I don't recall doing anything differently to when I got my boys.

I spent all morning the other day helping my sister and aunties book flights to London. My uncle lives there somewhere (I have no idea where). Anyway, we finally found a flight that suited them all, it is British Airways, so I booked it. Then I get an email from my aunt saying how she was annoyed that BA worked in conjunction with Qantas and she "Just prays they get there and back alive"! No thanks for taking up your morning doing the booking! And it isn't even a qantas plane, it's BA. Stupid woman! Anyway, my sister thinks she'll do her own thing a bit. She's there for two weeks, then onto Italy. So what are the must visit places in London and nearby? She's going in October - will it be cold? I wish I was coming too and could meet some of my feisty forty-somethings friends.

I'm doing a lot of wavering -because my symptoms come and go - I worry as soon as I can't feel any breast tenderness, nausea etc. It is an anxious time, and I know there's nothing that can be done, I just have to try to enjoy this time and hope to make it to 12 weeks and then, of course, beyond. Any suggestions to help me stay sane?Confused

lolfactor · 28/05/2011 06:39

Hi all Sorry to miss the snug yet again. Food tastes like ashes at the moment - my only symptom of prb (post-relationship blues).

Shandy I'm glad you now definitely know. The waiting must have been awful. At least you know you can now get strong and healthy again should you want to try again, rather than being stuck in limbo. I'm so sorry this little bean didn't stick.

Hippy thanks for the schloer tip, although I'll have a jug of clomid if it makes my boobs bigger. I've been going to the gym recently and they're always the first things to go Angry.

Italian I'm so glad I didn't watch that programme. I would have wept! I did the ovarian reserve thing at the Zita West clinic and they were the ones who recommended DHEA. I still haven't had my test I kept forgetting to go to the test, which is unlike me.)

Gum Hoping all your symptoms stay 24/7 to reassure you. Your aunt has to go to the London Eye, Tate Modern and go on a boat trip down the Thames to Greenwich (they give a talk and show you the gates to the Tower of London etc). Those are all do-able over morning/lunch and are pretty much next door to each other (Waterloo station underground). Then she could walk over the millennium bridge to St Pauls. Then she could spend the afternoon having an amazing shopping experience in Covent Garden and end up at the Royal National Opera House - simply stunning.

Right - that's all the cliches done - someone probably has some more meaningful/special landmarks that would make it a more memorable experience.

All fine here. It's weird having a TWW with nothing to wait for. One thing that is interesting is that I'm not having any of my normal pregnancy symptoms - which would suggest that I did often have them (or just search for them relentlessly...). So don't give up hope, ladies.

AngelGeorgie · 28/05/2011 07:49

Happy belated birthday Diege enjoy Whitby its beautiful.
Sorry Shandy been there so know exactly where you re coming from. Hi Hippy bloody he'll if those boobs get any bigger you ll ve toppling over!!!'
Hi everyone else xxxx

Curlylox · 28/05/2011 10:05

Sorry I have been AWOL, however have been lurking Blush.......there has been highs and lows of emotions on the thread, so I offer my condolences and congratulations (apologies for not name checking). Have had my "head in the shed" don't know how much longer I can deal with the disappointment of ttc every month. We did much swi in the hope I could have a bfp for my birthday, well Wednesday got a bfn and rtd arrived yesterday. Feeling quite tearful infact very tearful but hey life goes on. Going for AMH blood test on Tues and already dreading the results, how mad is that?! Geez haven't posted in a while and it's a me me me post ........

OP posts:
panashe · 28/05/2011 10:23

Hi Curly it's crap isn't it Sad I'm cd 13 and just feel like not swi so I don't have the rollercoaster of the 2ww.

I'm just in a bad mood as argued with dp last night, we made up a little and started swi but didn't finish and I went to sleep sulking. And now I think wtf can't be bothered. Am sure it will change by tomorrow or even later today.

Curlylox · 28/05/2011 12:08

Yes panashe it is truly and utterly CRAP as well as a few other choice words I could think of. Ooh nearly forgot - prayers too along with condolences and congratulations. I'll just return to my rocking chair in the shed muttering to myself.........sigh

OP posts:
AngelGeorgie · 28/05/2011 23:33

Curly hugs (()) it really is crap. Hope you feel a little brighter tomorrow xx
Love to u panache xx

hopefulgum · 29/05/2011 04:21

Curly and Panashe, so sorry things aren't going your way. It is CRAP.

10000fireflies · 29/05/2011 09:35

Morning everyone. Big squeeze for Lol Curly and Panache.

I did some research and found the side effects of the progesterone I'm on causes symptoms almost identical to pregnancy/PMT, so trying to stop obsessing and wait until Friday.

That Pimms-like-Schloer is on BOGOF at Tescos until the end of the bank holiday w/e so I'm going to stock up, as noticed it's a ltd edition flavour esp as DH is happily swigging wine/cider at any opportunity now he's 'done his bit'.

Gum - re staying sane over next few weeks - maybe we need to borrow Curly's rocking chair for the snug for a bit? Marilyn Glenville recommends taking time to indulge yourself with complementary therapies. I like the sound of that! Re: London weather - could be warm in October.... could be freezing! Who knows?! They could check the Met office long term forecast before they leave. Where in Italy are they going? You should get recommendations from Italian. BTW, where in the world are you? Or are you just an insomniac??!!

Italian Di dove sei?

I'm going to be away for a few days so signing off now until Weds or Thurs. Ciao!

10000fireflies · 29/05/2011 10:34

Oh balls. Sad Spotting. Could be something or nothing. Not feeling great either though- like you do when AF on way. Not going anywhere for the moment!

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