Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 3

[Curlylox]

As you were ladies

Sorry, just a couple of sites because I am thinking of my friend....

www.helpguide.org/life/healthy_diet_cancer_prevention.htm

www.lifetimefatloss.com/anti-cancer-diet.html

What I really mean is check them whether or not they are tingling, just check them.

hugs to all {BIG KISS FOR ROYAL WEDDING}

Italian my news... I wonder, did I ever post my baby news here? Possibly assumed most of you here follow the pg post mc thread too, sorry... I had my baby boy in early January, the easiest most wonderful homebirth, with fabulous doula Lia there for help and encouragement, and DH caught the baby as the midwife had been and gone again an hour before declaring no progress .
We're doing well, he's a gorgeous happy smiley little boy, though I'm getting to the chronically sleep deprived stage now, and also dreaming of being pg again already, I think it must be something hormonal, we're hardwired to want more kids even when we've been lucky enough to have just had one, though this time I know deep down this is my last baby, he's beautiful and healthy and it would just be too exhausting to do it again (so I can understand your current peace with sticking at your two lovely boys Hippy).

I'm wishing you all the very best with getting your 40 something babies, it's tiring at our age but ultimately always so rewarding (and to anyone with DH's playing the 'but we're too old' card, I'm 42 and DH is 55!). And to those considering stopping trying, I hope you find your peace with it.

Alba yes, I remember your baby news now. Hope all is well.

Hi all
Sorry to be mega cautious but this info is on line and looks good. CONGRATULATIONS.

www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/video/how-to-check-yourself/how-to-check-your-breasts/

Self examine at the same of the month. This info says ideally, 1 week after the end of your period.

I must confess I have never done such a thorough exam as this, so I shall be doing this in future. As I no longer get regular periods so I might start doing this on the first of the month.

Sorry that CONGRATULATIONS was for Alba, not me finiding info on breast on line!

Wow this thread has gone quiet. I hope shandy is well and will be back with news of her early pregnancy soon.

Sorry to hear about your friend italian. i'm sure you will be a great strength to her.

alba go ahead - try for another one - then we get you back on here full time

I'm on day 9 and have started SWI again this month (although I have a very strong feeling that we are wasting our time - IYSWIM) obviously it's not a total waste . I just can't imagine ever getting a BFP again. Never mind, I'm ok about it.

The people who offered on our house have upped the amount to almost what we hoped to achieve for it but we have said no - not enough. I wanted to take the money and run - I'd be rubbish on Deal or no deal, but DH was firm. I'm just scared now that we'll never get another offer

Hope everyone is enjoying the continued lovely weather and enjoyed the wedding.

I was watching in a pub with a friend. The TV went funny just as the bride was about to appear and we kept losing the picture. The manager looked like he was gonna have a stroke (think Fawlty Towers). Then DS1 came in from the garden and said that DS2 and his friend had found a cable in the ground and had pulled it up!!! My friend and I GENUINLY thought the boys had buggered up the TV But we went to look and it was just a bit of old cable not attached to anything [phew].

Hippy - kids, what a laugh. Glad your DS did not bugger up the TV for a pub full of fans!

Can anyone think of a good reason for me to go to the £200 fertility clinic tomorrow to discuss options? I'm thinking I should spend the money on counselling instead.

Hi things are still progressing here, as in I'm still pg, wehey. I haven't been to the docs or anything as it's been holidays. Will probably leave it til end of the week as it's back to work, school and the start of pre school for my dd2.

I'm not sure what to say to the doc as I've not been to them for ttc advice, I stuck to Dr Toni and Mumsnet.

Glad all is ok with you diege and lou. Thanks Italian for all the safety advice. If caught early it really is worth it.

Oddly for me I'm not feeling any pg symptoms particularly. Was dog tired last times. Hope it's all ok.

lol although I didn't get particular advice I think it would be worth paying. There seems to be a lot of info out there. How much tests and checks have you done do far? If you're like me it's hard to talk openly about ttc as its painful to be so desperate and may make you more tense and anxious.

Hello, helloo...I'm back.

Had a lovely relaxed few days. Really glad we got away, and feeling much more positive and happy too.

Just wanted to say how pleased I am about the great scans, Deige and Lou.

Beatie, sorry you're having a rough time.((HUGS))

I've had such a relaxed time that for the first time in ages I don't know what CD I am![cshock]

I haven't taken my temperature, but will have to go over to fertility friend to see where I am at. I hope it's close to O time, because Dh has been more than happy for SW or WOI it seems. Basically that means he hasn't mentioned it and neither have I and he's trusting me to know when is a safe time (though he hasn't said as much).It's not a fool proof science is it? I suppose I could dig out the fertility monitor, but it has felt good to not have any idea about where things are at.

Things are different when you get home from a break though aren't they?

Must go and put a load of washing on - ah real life...

Morning! Horrible sniffly cold and sore throat here, but dh has a broken tooth so of course it's him who has pleaded to go back to bed. It must be so hard for him, and having to stay up late last night for his friend's birthday too, with free bar - my heart bleeds.
Lol I think I might be tempted to see the clinic, as that way at least you'll feel that you're doing something practical and maling progress of some sort? £200 is a lot of money though!
Gum, I think I'd just carry on swi/swoi if I were you, without taking temps etc. Ok, so you won't know exactly when you've ovulated etc, but isn't that what dh is effectively doing too by not asking?
Hippy you are so like me with your house selling approach. Dh insisted on not accepting a really close to asking price offer, which I thought was ridiculous, but they did eventually come back and offer a bit more. It took 3 mths though for them to up the offer! The only advantage to accepting less than you want to, is that come the survey you are possibly in the stronger position as you can plead absolutely no leeway to negotiate as you've already compromised on the price...all game playing really isn;t it!
Shandy glad things seem fine, and don't worry about symptoms/no symptoms just yet. How many weeks are you now?
Hi Italian - you're right about breast checking. I am one of those awful people who don't check in case they find something...

lolfactor why not go to the clinic, if you don't you may regret it. But if this (what exactly - wanting to conceive?) is really bugging you then why not speak to your GP if you think you need counselling help. There may be some free counselling (or low cost) that you can access. Why do you think you need counselling? I know you have problems with your son; maybe if those are sorted you will feel better. If they were sorted then could you partner live with you or not? Is that part of it? Sorry to be dim!

Diege naughty - check, check, check!

Gum glad all is good, enjoy, don?t over think it.

Hippy house move, let it go as it is, your DH sounds like he knows what he is doing and if it all goes tits up at least you will have the pleasure of blaming him - which is what they do on The Apprentice when someone else is project manager! OOOHH EEERRR it is due to start soon, this month, May, I think. Anyone else want to watch it with me.

Feeling a bit upskittled about my friend's breast cancer any my impending treatment. Feeling excited and stressed all at once about treatment. Feel weird! But eating is good! Refused an ice cream Saturday after dog walk and refused a biscuit at church! Now, I know that does not sound like much but there is a half jar of jelly babies in my kitchen and only a few have been chomped!

Hugs to all

Hi all - thanks, Diege Italian and Shandy (big congrats, by the way! I must have missed that lovely bit of good news). Italian* best of luck with the treatment. It must feel like a whole new chapter.

I'd booked to go to the local private clinic for fertility advice, and to discuss clomid, but what can he say that I haven't already read? I'm 45 and the few eggs I have left are statistically faulty. I'm still ovulating, and my levels are fine, so clomid might just put things out of kilter while chucking out 3 faulty eggs at a time.

He'll probably suggest expensive tests in addition to the initial £200 consultation - and end up telling me that my best hope is donor egg insemination with a 20% chance of success. My thought about the counselling was that it is maybe more helpful to start accepting infertility rather than spending money on investigating fertility.

This is all sounding negative - sorry. Dp and I had a little cry together when we talked about my not going to the clinic tomorrow. It's an admission that we need to accept the inevitable. That said, your answers made me think. Maybe I should go - just to get closure, if nothing else. I might always wonder if I don't. I'll sleep on it. Thanks guys. Love to all.

Hi lol sorry you're going through all this. fwiw I understand - I am going through something similar. As you may know, I have done the whole clomid thing for 2 months (and spent a fortune on private checks etc)- the second month it caused me huge pain when ovulating, and then 10 days heavy bleeding. I've stopped this month. Like you all tests so far have been fine, eggs look fine, so does lining and progesterone levels etc etc so I am starting to think that there is nothing I can take/do to get pg and it is just down to the eggs or whatever. No consolation I know, but I think a few of us are feeling that this just isn't going to happen. Having said that, i would go to the appointment if I were you!

I'm getting to the swi stage and thinking I should give it a miss this month - really need to know whether dh has a job to go to as it will be hard enough on one salary going forward, without throwing maternity leave (or not) into the mix. He's at a job interview this morning, so keep everything crossed please ladies!

sorry a self indulgent rant coming up...
I just don't understand why I'm not getting pg - I dtd at the right time, I have enough eggs, progesterone, lining etc etc, and haven't had a sniff of a bfp for months. I just think something has to be wrong as I have got pg 6 times before this without even trying sometimes. Can it just be that I am 3 years older than when I had ds2?? (rhetorical question really). I just wonder whether the miscarriage changed me so that I can't get pg anymore.

Hello to everyone else hope you all had good weekends and aren't feeling too depressed to be back at work etc (I am a bit...)

Good luck to BB's hubbie.

lol and BB - I think you guys and me are all in a similar boat (except BB is younger). I went to the GP this morning to ask about clomide. She says she has never prescribed it herself and is not sure she would feel happy doing so. She said at the very least she would want me to have a scan to check for cysts etc. but would probably prefer refering me to a specialist, especially as I have endometriosis. She wants to think about it and discuss with colleagues. I said if it was gonna be a few months of waiting to see a specialist then I wouldn't bother with it. She totally understood why i wanted to give this whole TTC thing a final push and I totally understand if she doesn't feel comfortable prescribing it without a specialist involved.

I see a lot of myself in what you are both saying. BB I keep thinking how did I get pregnant twice at 43 and not at all at 44 (but then neither of those pregnancies were viable anyway - so that's a bit of a daft thing to think ). You asked how it can make such a difference after only a couple of years and I guess the answer is that our fertility has to start fallling off at some point and maybe you were lucky with your last little one.

lol - I found it interesting that you said maybe you should be concentrating on coming to terms with not getting pregnant again rather than spending money trying to make it happen. I do agree, but obviously it is your decision to make. Many women DO have babies in their 40's but not ALL women who want babies in their 40's get them.

I told the doctor today that every time I have a period my endo is getting worse and I have no clue what is going on inside my pelvis. I could keep trying and never get another baby but end up in real pain. She agreed that I need to put a finite date to TTC and I have said if she doesn't want to give me clomide I will try for another couple of months and then get a coil put back in. It will be incredibly hard to do that and I know I will cry for the baby I never got but I have to look at it objectively. Having said that I will still try very hard for the next couple of months

lol I hope you make a decision about what to do and I hope you and your other half are happy. And that all the other stuff gets sorted too.

BB You are a lot younger than me and those 4 years make a huge difference at the moment. However, if you don't manage to achieve another pregnancy then please please feel very proud of the pregnancies that you have achieved and the lovely little-uns that you've made.

So endeth the sermon .

i didn't want to upset you jolls or make you think that you are not gonna get your baby - I just need to express how I feel right now. It is only where I stand and it doesn't mean YOU stand there too, my love.

I am just watching a programme called meet the multiples - it's about people having triplets or quadruplets - I'm hoping it will put me off babies

oh hippy, I wasn't crying (particularly) for me, just your honesty and perspective. And the sadness for all of us really. You haven't upset me

Hugs jolls and is glad she knows me so well

Am watching a woman with quads who are just starting to walk - OMG - it looks like hard work.

My lovely GP has discussed this with her colleagues and has called to tell me that she has decided to let me have clomide for 3 months. I was very pleased cos I know she didn't agree to it lightly. She is so nice, she said that she understands where I'm at and agrees that by giving clomide a chance I will feel like I've done all i can to make this baby happen.

I feel stupidly excited that it might work and also relieved that if it doesn't work this will at least bring it to a close.

i just hope that I don't feel crap on it or have the problems that poor BB had. I will see how I feel the first month.

I started a thread about giving up and our old mate GallwayGirl was the first person to reply to me - which was fab as I'd tried earlier to find her on MN. Really nice to hear from her again. To those of you who don't know her, she was on here a while back and sadly suffered multiple MC's. Anyway, I've found her again. GG if you're reading - the lists have never been the same since you left

will they scan you hippy? I had scans for the first month to check on the number of follicles (and their size). if you have too many you can't swi. and also I think sometimes a follicle grows huge but doesn't pop and people then have an injection to stimulate ovulation. I wonder if that happened to me while I was on holiday and had loads of pain.

Not to worry you, and I presume that your gp has thought about all of this...

I remember Galwaygirl - I think she was on the mc thread at the same time as me, in my other guise.

BB I wish i knew what all your guises were

She isn't going to scan me no. She said that is why she usually doesn't prescribe it and would usually suggest I get it from a specialist. I said that i wasn't prepared to wait 6 months to see a specialist on the NHS. Apparently they used to prescribe clomide through the GP all the time and they still can. She is only prepared to give me 3 months worth. She did warn about multiple births etc.

Do you think I'm mad to use it without being scanned then?

I honestly can't wait 6 months to get it from a specialist, my endometriosis will have well and truelly taken over by then - plus I'll be even older.

I'm sure she has done her research hippy and has weighed up the risks. (of multiple follicles etc). i almost wished I had more than one follicle as i thought that would increase the chance of having just one successful fertilisation. I also wondered if, having been told that I had, say 3 follicles and should avoid swi, whether I would disregard that advice.

also, they only scan me in my clinic on the first clomid cycle. I'm not sure why/if that means you are less likely to produce lots of follicles in subsequent cycles.

I'm sure it would be ok, but you could start a thread on this if you are worried?