Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 3

[Curlylox]

As you were ladies

lol OMG how awful to see your little boy become a horrid teen. My husband has 3 grown up nephews and we did watch them turn into teens and then eventually emerge out of the tunnel as nice grown ups and they are all nice now. I think they only when through the stage of grunting instead of talking and having a face full of spots though, yours sounds like he is really going for an extreme change.

I felt for you when you said you could see your little boy in there sometimes . It is hard to see them change. I said to my nearly 11 year old that it was too painful to think of them at 3 and newborn - i wanted them like that again. And he said why mum?, we're still here and we'll always love you whatever age we are! All very sweet but what if he does the turning into a monster thing arrghh.

I really hope that your son eventually emerges out of his tunnel and sorts his life out and I agree that the mates might be the problem. Sad though that you get denied your happiness (eg. having your partner and his daughter living with you) because of your sons behaviour. Thinking of you and sending ((()))

Hi all, horrible day yesterday.All fine with GBOS.Went on the system at work to look up my HVS results from last week [ssshhh.....thats naughty!!!!] when i came across all my blood results and swab results from 10.10.10 with reason for request "stillbirth at full term" WHACK another sledgehammer in my heart!!!!!! Cue; much crying cue; write off work yesterday.
Then HVS from last week is GB strep +, research states if during current pg are found to be GB strep + to have IV antibiotics during labour/section but for some unknown reason my consultant via the phone via epu has said no iv antibiotics.MM.....We ll see i ll be discussing/laying down the law when i meet up with my consultant.Midwife appt was fine but again Chris was writting up my ob history and than to see Stillbirth to be written again was upsetting.

I ve referred myself back to my counsellor .I ve rung in sick to work today as its my long day and just not up to it.
Hi Mitzi welcome back.
Well done Italian on your self control i have none!!!!! If all goes to plan i ll return to slimming world after GBOS.
Hi Diege hope you re ok?
Hi Hippy hows those [biscuits] [biscuits] ?
Hi Tina
Hi Gum how you doing?
Where's Jolls still MIA????
Hi LOL
Love to all XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

mitz can't you agree to not actually try but just see how it goes (eg. not actually prevent it). Then you can make sure you have sex at the right times (distance allowing) and he will feel that you're just seeing what happens. At least then you would feel that you gave it your best even if you don't fall pregnant again. Does that make any sense? I just think it's important to feel when we all turn 50 or older that we tried.

I just want to moan about my Dh for a minute. He is paid hourly and as he is on a temporary assignment (which has gone on for 9 months) he has to fill in a time sheet every week. Now of course HE doesn't fill it in, HE doesn't even know his own log in!! He just hands me bits of paper on a friday or calls out random numbers to me. Well I discovered this morning that we had not filled in the week that we went to IOW on the Monday. So i told him that we need to know what hours he did or we will not get paid for that WHOLE week. He went loopy, shouting that he can't remember, why didn't I do it at the time. I am so forgetful. He definitely gave me the hours etc.

I was so fucking mad at the stupid idiot. I said, It's like saying to your slave "You're not wiping my arse well enough!" The slave will reply, "Wipe it yourself you lazy git!"

Anyway, he was half joking and half meaning it. He said things to wind me up like, I let you do my time sheet so you feel you have something useful to do (this said VERY tongue in cheek). Anyway, I was bloody fuming. Men are so crap. I really hope I'm preggers this month so I don't have to shag him for ages

Sorry for the rant. As you were ladies!

Sorry lou I was so busy typing my rant that I crossed posts with you. How awful. I think you should insist on the anti b's if they are finding strep B. (I know you will - you'll be a very forceful woman) It must have been horrible to look ba ck at anything relating to 10.10.10.

Take it easy today. Allow yourself to feel the sorrow, and use all this knowledge to ensure the safe arrival of GBOS.

I have had strep B in the past and am determined if I ever get an ongoing pregnancy that I am gonna have swabs etc. With the last 2 pregs I was ready to insist but they didn't get far enough.

I had a simialr experience the other day (but on a smaller scale, i hasten to add). I was looking for a piece of paper to write a shopping list on and found a letter, read it and it said, sorry you have had a missed miscarriage - how would you like to manage it - these are your choices. I found myself crying when I had not thought I was still effected at all. I think it is perfectly natural that you got upset when reading your notes, it must have all come flooding back. Take care of yourself and treat GBOS to something nice to eat today. ((()))

rotfl at hippy why do men think we have to remember whatever it is they've forgotten to do themselves???

lol my daughter went through an absolutely awful stage a few years back made worse by the fact her and her stepdad didn't get on but she's lovely now and has come through that stage, she even wrote her stepdad a really lovely letter the other week telling him she really loved him even when they argues - ahhhhh :-)

well things seem to be going ok now, tentatively happy here, all going well for hubby on the jobs front so fingers crossed things are working out

now i just need to be happy with my dream and life will be tickety boo!

louise lots of hugs to you and hi to everyone else

Lou get what you need, I know you will. Get all the facts and act in you and your baby's best interest, I know you will. Get DH on side and take no crap from anyone, honey - get what you need (I'll say it one more time, I know you will)! Hugs!

Hippy Boo hoo for Mr Hippy, can you get the money back now because it was a genuine mistake or did I read that wrong?

Thanks for all kind comments about weight. If anyone wants to follow my findings about over eating, please do take a look at www.mumsnet.com/Talk/big_slim_whatever_weight_loss_club/1191480-Anyone-struggling-with-compulsive-ways-of-eating-Anyone-getting-any-answers and feel free to add your comments.

I am off to Spring Harvest for a few days www.springharvest.org.uk/ back next week. Please do continue to post if you have any good suggestions and all the best.

Happy Easter.

Hello! All ok here. Supposed to be in the office today but ds was sent home from nursery yesterday with a rash (2 spots behind his knee ) so have had to take him to the GP this morning. As I thought, it's just an exacerbation of his existing excema, so have just dropped him off and trying now to get down to some work...v.hard though as the weather is gorgeous here!
Lou you poor thing - that's tough to read I agree strongly that you should insist on ABs, though I can't see that they would put up much resistance. They still don't screen routinely here, despite 2 still births in my town last year and an acceptanace that it should be done by the mws.
Hippy I know what you mean about how reminders of mcs can trigger the tears. I found a card from the 'Forget me Not' group I was told about after my mmc in an old handbag a few weeks ago. I don't think you ever really forget, but triggers such as the paper you found do bring things to the front of your mind. Hope you're ok. How are the biscuits I mean boobs?
Hi Italian enjoy your Spring Harvest . I am totally with you on aiming to normalise eating. ONce this happens I'm convinced that's when the cravings stop. Thanks for the youtube clip too
Lol, put those biscuits back now!!!! I did have to smile (ok snigger) about the Chinese meds mix-up
mitzi you situation sounds very difficult

Collected a new prescription for my cyclizine today, but hopefully it will be the last! Also had a mini 'what shall I do??' dilemma yesterday. Have a dating scan booked with NHS, and also made a tentative enquiry with the FMC. The latter have got back and said there's a free appointment next weds pm. Now, I've been thinking and thinking, and for now I'm just going to stick wth the dating scan. I have had a lifetime's worth of false postives raised by screening, and the bottom line is I really don't think I'd terminate for Downs. I think I might with a condition incompatible with life (ie. EDwards, Patous) but not Downs. If something scary crops up when they 'take their (unofficial) little look at the nuchal' next week, then I may book for a more detailed follow up with the FMC, but fingers crossed all will be well. Does this sound like a good plan?

Right, better get some work done. Too late to tell boss I'm not in today, so fingers crossed he won't go looking . I am going in tomorrow on an annual leave day though so he shouldn't complain!

Apologies to the room - this is a bit off topic, but there is so much loss in the room, maybe others will find this helpful too. I just really popped by to sit down next to Lou for a while.....

Just wanted you to know that your fears and distress are very typical of bereaved pregnant mums. The world meanders on - seemingly forgetting the intensity of the grief we still feel - focusing on all the positives of the new baby blah blah blah.... and mean while some of us are left feeling adrift and alone and quite frankly f**king terrified.

I was hoping that when I got my 13 week scan I would be calmer. After all, rationally my risks dropped a lot - but I think the reality for a lot (though not all) bereaved mums is that the anxiety can remain or intensify. My personal low has been around 18 weeks - just at the point when I could feel movement - or not feel it for several hours - that was scary bit! I think as the pg progresses, you realise your risks may be dropping, but you have so much more to lose. I had a small (not serious) bleed at 25 weeks, and literally went into shock - I was coping worse physically than when C died - it was no where near as bad a thing that was happening to me - but we aren't the same resilient people we were before our children died. And being pg again throws up memories of the previous pg - and that is always going to be (for me anyway) bitter sweet.

We didn't get the lives we wanted - it is very hard to bear.

I wish I had some good advice. I think all I can really say is I understand, you're not going mad, and one way or another you will get through.

For me, I'd just had to accept that I am anxious and not "enjoying" being pg in the round as people sometimes assume I should be - but I'm trying to focus on the pleasurable bits - like buying baby clothes, which I enjoy (I WILL NOT think the worse) and the baby moving - which is wonderful.
I'm also seeing a homeopath - and that seems to help.

Any mention of risk - even implied - does freak me out. I mean, our risks were meant to be tiny - and it happened to us anyway - so low risk to me now means SOME risk - which frightens the crap out of me. I don't know how you're feeling about your Strep B result (which is of course) common - but I got a borderline anemic result - and felt hugely, irrationally upset. It was like how dare my body get anemic - haven't I been through enough... why isn't it working - what will happen next!!

I go out of my way to protect myself now - so I tend not to google things. I'm lucky to have a very supportive midwife. When I was pg first time round I remember really enjoying reading the week by week updates - this time they just scare me - as they made my baby sound terribly vulnerable. So I stopped reading them!

I have found it helpful to speak to other bereaved mothers who are preg or have had subsequent births. Not everyone finds it difficult - I do have one real life friend whose son was diagnosed with a terminal syndrome at 4 months, and whom she nursed to his death at 2 years old. She says that after her 8 week scan for her next child she felt relaxed... but I think she is the outlier. Most of us struggle... I'm following a blog at the moment of a lady whose 13 weeks - her son died shortly after birth - not sure if you'd find that helpful or not:
bellastephislearningtofly.blogspot.com/

Be gentle with yourself - I would stop looking at your notes if I were you - somethings are just too painful.. Big hug to you xx

And love to everyone else xxx

LOL ps - I would be booting your son up the arse - he sounds like he totally taking the piss.

Diege sounds like a plan to me if you re happy with it then thats fine.Only you know when you ve "worked" through it.My trust doesn t swab for GB strep but my MW said she would but i can have HVS s every day of the week if i want as it's 1 of the swabs we take at work.So, i can either swab myself or i ve about 10 colleagues happy to do it.There is a private GB strep swab you can have at 36 weeks for about £30 if it's something you want at that stage.I m not chucking but everything upsets my stomach i can t open the dishwasher at the moment without wanting to chuck my guts up.
Italian i most definatly will be having AB during my section oh yes!!!!
Tina thanks XX
Hippy thanks very much.....the problem with food at the moment is i don t seem to like anything which is incredibly upsetting as normally i love my food.However i am chilling caught up on all the gossip with a load of mags in the sun.Bliss.Sorry about your DH yes, men are incredibly lazy at times .Ant looses everything but it's my fault as i don t know where his stuff is!!!!! I sometimes wonder how he copes or wheter i m being "sucked" in to do stuff for him!!!!!!
hippy it hits you when you least expect it doesn t it? .Hope you get your BFP too so as, you say , you don t have to go anywhere near him indoors!!!!!

Diege I think I would go for the FMC appointment - but then you know that, as that is what I did anyway. I would explain to them that you aren't sure you want a nuchal result, as you've told us. The way they did mine was blood test first - then half an hour later you go into the scanning room.... they spend a long while looking at every aspect of the baby - like measuring the performance of each valve in the heart... their kit seems a lot better than the NHS and I felt very reassured by the seeming expertise of the doctor performing the scan.... Everything they told me in the first 40 minutes was "this is the spine/liver/nose bone - it looks normal" etc etc..

You could then discuss with them whether you want the nuchal risk result or not. They work it out for you whilst you are sitting in the scanning chair - but they can't do it until the blood result is ready, and they've done all the measurements they check whilst looking at the baby's general health.

But either way, whether you decide to hear the result or not - at least you've had a detailed 12 week scan - and some reassurance from that - and you've had the chance to have a proper discussion about the screening test with someone who knows about them. If you go on a Wed afternoon, that nice Professor should be there - I found him very reassuring, patient and kind - and I am neurotic (see post above!).

And for £150 - I think it is worth it - even if you decide not to hear the nuchal result.

Anyway, that is just my nosey beak. You obviously have to reach a decision you're happy with. What does DH think?

If you do go - after our 20 week scan, we walked into China Town (lovely - though not sure I could waddle that far now) and had a nice lunch - hopefully you're throwing up less now and could enjoy some nice greasy duck... (eurgghhh) Sorry

Thanks Tank very much its reassuring to hear from someone whos experiencing the same.[no disrespect to any ladies' losses] i can totally understand where you re coming from.We take nothing for granted any more my baby/your daugter died when , supposingly,there were no or minmal risks.I think all the pressure has hit me now as in the first trimester you concentrate on the risk of MC then when you get past that stage you are , again, supposingly at low risk.However i now feel theres much more to loose if ever GBOS was to be stillborn i wouldn t want to live i couldn t live after that experience again.Ant is scared to death he wouldn t know "what to do with me" if i was in that intense grief again.Now i feel other stuff to worry about ie;abnormalities,late miscarriage,stillbirth etc....People say "oh it won t happen again" and i m like "how do you know????.Yes we re been monitored extra carefully but we were monitored well with Georgie how does anyone know there won t be some other "fluke" event/incident and we end up in the same position???" The sad truth? no one can give guartees and there's bugger all we can do if we wnt GBOS other than "endure" the next 6 months and proceed with our excellant package of care and try to pre-empt any diaster.It s so wearing.
I ll have a look at the blog, thanks again for your care and compassion.Take care XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I felt like crying when i read your last post lou - if ever GBOS was to be stillborn i wouldn t want to live i couldn t live after that experience again I can not begin to imagine the stress you are under. I know that even I will not rest until you announce the safe arrival of GBOS - so YOU and ANT must be literally holding your breath. 25 weeks is not long (WTF do I know!) Seriously though, it will pass eventually and it will be worth it. You are doing all you can. Strep B can come and go (I believe) and you will get lots more checks before the C section. I think tank gives wonderful advise and it comes from the heart and it comes from knowing how you're feeling much better than any of the rest of us can really do.

diege I think the only reason i would have all the tests available to me at my ripe old age is incase the baby had a trisomy that was not compatible with life. like you i would not terminate for Downs but would want to know if the baby was not going to survive after birth. I think it's such a personal thing and only you and your DH can decide what to do. There were two ladies on MN (one of which I had 'spoken' with previously) who recently decided to terminate after they found out their beans had downs. It just wasn't right for them and it must have been a dreadful decision. I wish you all the best and remember that the odds are that your little diege bean is fine.

My boobs are achey and heavy and I hate them cos they feckin' do this to me every month. I don't think we've been successful this month - my basis for believing this is mearly cos we haven't been successful for the last 9 months in a row and I am sooooo bloody old. I would love to be proven wrong.

to lighten the mood - DS2 and I went to meet my darling hubbie for lunch in the park. DS2 found a moneyspider on him and I said put it around your head 3 times and you'll get some money, then I added, or you could just fill in your timesheet on time! ahhh how we laughed

Yes Lou - it is exhausting - there's no getting away from that - it just is. People say "it won't happen again" to me all the time, but the horrible truth is, we are no less at risk than anyone else is. I do know people who have lost more than one child, but they are very few and far between. You just have to keep the faith and keep thinking as positively as you can muster - because it will probably be ok, and besides, being brave is the only option. I know bereaved mothers who are adamnant that they couldn't have another child, because they couldn't bear it if anything happened again. For me, I think the prospect of never parenting again was worse than the rollercoaster of becoming a mother again.

I do believe that the anxiety will subside at some point. I don't know when that will be - I'm already quite nervous about SIDS - but my experience of dealing with extreme anxiety (I've previously had PTSD) is that if you keep facing the fear, and breathing through it - then it does get easier.

Now that you have mentioned it, I do think I found the start of the second trimester hard. I was so elated after the 13 week nuchal scan - and that lasted for about 1 day - then I was more worried than ever. The second trimester means coming out to other people (lots of whom will see it as unproblematically wonderfully - rather than another scary rollercoaster) and all the worries about the horror of late miscarriage.

Don't know if it will help you, but one of the things that made it easier for me was to break the pg down into stages. In trimester 1, every week without a bleed was great news... then I think ordinarily, women start to relax and expect to have a baby. For me, I haven't achieved that level of confidence so smaller chunks of time have seemed more manageable. I think my first second timester goal was 20 weeks and the scan.... then after that I focused on the 24 week milestone - can't explain exactly why, but that felt significant as Bump became a person legally. My current milestone I'm aiming for is 30 weeks - just have it is in my head that if I deliver, baby has an excellent chance. After that, it will probably be 35 weeks, as that probably only means a short stay in NICU... then 37 weeks for full-term... then.... Anyway, you get the gist - the goals are very personal - I know Lunatic was very focused on the gestation when Daisy died, and felt better when she got past that... but we will all have personal goals.

Be easy on yourself - your body has been through an awful lot, and so has your head. I try to focus on stuff I can do - like taking iron tablets and spatone - and I'm off to pregnancy yoga tonight for the first time.

You have an excellent chance of delivering a healthy baby - just put one foot in front of the other and remember to breathe xx

Hippy I would so, so love it if you got pg, so I really hope you are wrong... I used to get lots of symptons in the 2ww - I think it was because I was so determinely looking for them, and the prostogene boost is a totally misleading bugger. The month I fell pg this time I was the only month I was convinced I wasnae pg, so I hope this is you too!

Wise words tank. Thanks for your best wishes for a pregnancy for me too - I am gonna wait until easter to test (if AF not here before) wouldn't it be fab if I had good news then (easter is meant to be a time for new beginings after all). Of course, as we've said, the BFP is only really the very first hurdle but it would still be great to leap over it.

tank I am holding my breath for your little one just as much as lou's. As soon as she is here and all is good I am expecting you to pop to T K Maxx for the teeny tinyies party dress . enjoy the yoga. XX

Yes, wise words indeed. I cannot even start to imagine what losing a child feels like, nor how it feels to be pregnant again after a bereavement I suppose you just to have accept that anxiety is a totally normal, to be expected feeling that you will have. Breaking the pregnancy into 'sections' that will be reached and passed is a strategy that I've heard of before and can see how this would help x
Hippy I would be over the moon if you were to get a BFP at Easter You have done everything you could possibly do this month - not too long to wait my bezzer!
Have been spectacularly sick again this afternoon I think half the problem is that, as I start to feel better I am starting to eat odd things and lots of them (so today ate 2 aussie pies from the bakery - a sort of chicken dinner in pastry with piped mash on top, and then 2 iced buns. Why 2 I don't know ). I must start off 'bland' and basic I think, little and often...
On the scan front I am totally flummoxed. Part of me thinks, better to know everything (hence the FMC detailed scan) but the other part has read lots of threads where the blood test part of the test throws up false positives, and people are left in an awful state wondering what's what, especially if they decline a CVS/amnio. I have had false positives from screening in the past, and also part of my work involves research at the moment into an assessment of 'markers of unknown significance' for antenatal screening Wales (so I am hearing of some real shockers). Dh is no help. He says I should just stop worrying and put it out of my mind. IN terms of making a decision he says it's up to me, which is a bit of a cop-out IMHO.
Anyway, enough pointless philosophising - there's a fish pie to eat and the second half of that BBC drama (rip off of The BOx) to watch!

(Hippy watches on helplessly as Diege's fish pie is regurgitated up and flies past her left ear!)

I have endo pain (endometriosis). BUT I have had this at about this stage when I was not pregnant and when I was so it means diddly squat - of course I am choosing to see it as a bad sign. I also have a headache over one eye and am so glad I don't have to shag my grumpy old man tonight.

I broke down my very first pregnancy just as you stated tank - get to 12, get to 20, get 24 (baby viable), get to 30 (ok if it came now) get to 36 (full term). I was told that because I had had intrusive surgery for the endo i was more likely to MC (by a very helpful doctor). Of course, as you know, i did not MC him or the next one but I still found it helpful to break it down.

night night all. XXX

Hippy and Tina thanks for your encouraging words. Felt much better after reading them. TTT his little arse is rather sore from the repeated kicking. I've just found a number for the local Army recruitment office - he'd written it down. So, it looks like he's checking HIMSELF into boot camp. Watch this space.

Lou I have read your posts every day since you conceived and I think you've done amazingly well to hide your fears. I've wondered where they were; you always sound very positive. I'm glad you've told us how you're really feeling. If you voice it, it's 'out there' and the fear might be more bearable for a while, I think. I'm sure a psychologist would tell me why, but they're never around when I want to ask!

I joined a gym today and the whipper-snapper instructor asked me why I didn't want to use the vibro-plate. I explained that I wanted to get pregnant and that vibrating at speed wasn't advisable. He was SO supportive. I thought he'd laugh. Instead, he gave me a whole new programme and watched me do it (which meant no cheating, unfortunately) and then took my blood pressure. He said it was very low - which is a symptom of the early stages of pregnancy. Aaahh. I didn't want to disillusion him and tell him I'm on CD3, and anyway it was really nice to pretend for an hour that I was.

Hippy your DH sounds such a typical bloke. It's almost like being mummy, sometimes, isn't it?

Right- off the watch Stop Pimping OUr Kids.

hippy: can't you agree to not actually try but just see how it goes (eg. not actually prevent it). Then you can make sure you have sex at the right times (distance allowing) and he will feel that you're just seeing what happens
That's exactly what I'd like to do, with me perhaps trying to steer him towards DTD on Friday night or Sunday whichever would be closest to ov (if I can ever work that out) but he doesn't want to take the risk. He doesn't want a baby and he doesn't want me to go through another mc.

I feel angry with your DH on your behalf! What an unreasonable idiot! Serve him right if you're upduffed and he's deprived! FX that you are! Oops exclamation mark overload!!!

lol: It's good to hear there are others who've found the right man a little late in the day.
He's not perfect, of course (who is?) but he's basically a really good man. If I'd met him when I was younger I probably wouldn't have given him a chance as he's not my normal "type". Clearly I'm less choosy (or is that desperate?) more tolerant these days. The whole pg/mc business really freaked him out though, so I'm trying to tread softly but still express my wishes. It has to be give and take, though, doesn't it?

I did laugh at your Chinese fertility clinic call! Sorry to hear about your son ? I have a friend with similar problems. He's only just starting to improve but it's several years down the road; he's about 22 now, I think. If your DS is too lazy to go to Uni, the danger is that he will be too lazy to get a job too. I hope you don't have too many battles on your hands and there's a solution for you & your DP to live together.

lou So sorry that trying to take a positive step for your current pregnancy has brought up all the sadness from the stillbirth. Thinking of you. Can I ask what GBOS stands for? And HVS?

diege It's a tremendously difficult decision about the screening and tbh I can't blame your DH for not wanting to make it. He probably thinks that whatever he said (which might influence your choice) would probably be wrong. TTT (Tank?) has given some very sound advice, it looks like.

I'm really admiring the willpower you're all showing on here - Italian with the sugary foods, TTT not googling scary things, etc.

Hi to everyone else and sending best wishes for the calming of the anxieties of those of you who are pregnant.

Deige, just wanted to say that I understand your way of thinking re: the scans.

I had the 12 week nuchal and bloods done with Charlie and the result was 1:178 for Trisomy 13/18. I had no idea what it was and googled. OMG that was a mistake and I was absolutely terrified. I felt I had no choice but to have an amnio.Luckily for me my DP refered me to the Fetal Maternal Medical Centre and I got to see the best of the best Professor. She did a really thorough scan (I was 17 weeks) before the amnio, and kept telling us that everything looked good, that the brain and heart looked normal, which they wouldn't if he'd had trisomy 13/18. So we declined the amnio.

I'm just so glad we had that scan done with her - it helped settled our fears.

If I'm ever lucky enough to get pregnant again, and not have a m.c then I might skip the nuchal/bloods and just have the anomoly scan at 20 weeks. At least that's what I'd like to do. But who knows how I'll feel when the time comes, I don't think I'd terminate, but my DH probably would. I guess the main thing I'd want is to be prepared if there was something come up.

I know a woman who lost a perfectly normal little boy after an amnio, so I'm very reluctant to do that.

Like I said - gotto get preggers first!

I'm 13 DPO and not yet bleeding, so still holding out hope. I know it is silly, but until the fat lady sings, I'm hopeful...

Hippy I'd love you to get a BFP too - so you don't have shag your DH for a while- and so we can be bump-buddies. How nice that would be....

Mitzi, I really feel for you. I know what it is like. I wish our DP's could be in sync with us.

My deepest wish is not so much that I get pregnant, but more that my DH and I both wanted it, cos then we could be a "team" on this like we have been in the past. I feel really sad that we aren't on the same page with this.And I'm sure he feels the same.He wishes I'd just get this daft idea out of my head and heart so we can get on with our lives...

Lou, I don't understand why they don't routinely screen for strep B in the UK?I'm very glad they do it here, as I had it with Charlie and thankfully had the antibiotics IV as soon as I went into labour. It had no negative effects on either of us.

I'm sorry for the anxiety you are feeling, and TTT, but it is so understandable.

I'm thinking of all of you Pregnant ladies. I hope we can all get there eventually - and have our safely delivered take home babes....[positivevibesemoticon]

Well, it's then end of the day here in the land of Oz and I still haven't seen RTD! Yippee. I did have a tiny bit of light brownish discharge when I wiped once, but that could just mean RTD will be here soon, or maybe it's from implantation???Or is it too late for that?

Perhaps my LP has lengthened which would be good I guess. It's been 11 or 12 days since I had Charlie, but before I got pregnant with him it was 13 or 14.So maybe I'm just going back to that.

My temp has dropped, but still well above coverline.

I suppose if RTD isn't here tomorrow, I'll test in the am.

It just seems so unusual that I'd get a late + when I have always got early + htp's. I don't mind if that's the case

Hope you are all having a good day.:)

gum 13 days post ov seems promising, my dear. Will wait to hear from you when you all wake up in the land of Oz.

mitz I will answer your questions on lou's behalf. GBOS is Georgie's brother or sister - Georgie being lou's little girl who was stillborn last October. and HVS is high vaginal swabs - see lou I am definiteley paying attention.

Nothing to report here. Too early to test, every wipe is a bit torturous as I'm just waiting for some spotting to come along and declare GAME OVER once again. I even thought maybe I wouldn't drink anything so I don't have to do any wees - yes I know that is mad .

Just watched the final of Love Thy Neighbour - the free house in Grassington. Anyone else watched it? Didn't like the ones who won. But then again WTF does it have to do with me???? ha ha.

Off to the park with friends to watch my kids play in the sun and NOT think about whether we have been successful this month. Thanks for all your support in thinking my hubbie is a knob!! The timesheet has now been approved so we will get paid and I will eventually forgive him and may even shag him again sometime.

Hi all. I'm back from V and feeling rather . It was fab, and I'm not v happy to be back at work. boo hoo.

No idea whether I've ovulated at all here. I didn't poas while I was away, but have since I've been back and nothing. I'm around cd 18 I think, (but not sure - days all a bit hazy). did have awful pains last thurs/Fri which I thought were traveller tummy related but have done some googling and apparently ovulation pains can be awful if you are on clomid. so who knows! Not sure clomid would have worked anyway because I kept forgetting to take it so was very erratic.

gum fingers crossed for you.

diege and lou (and TTT) glad everything's going ok. Lou I can't imagine how stressful it is going through this after Georgie. Like others I always broke my pg down by weeks. But I'm very excited for you.

mitzi for you. Like others on here dh is more ambivalent than I am about ttc, but he is still doing it.

lol I would like one of those powerplate things at home. Meant to be fab. My au pair (who is a model too) uses one. Not that she needs to

Where are you jolls? at the beach no doubt - again.

italian hope you get to the top of the list first. On the eating thing, so much of what you say is covered by Paul McKenna - sorry I keep bleating on about him, and I'm not a convert I promise. But a friend of mine did this and lost loads of weight and it changed her relationship with food too. She then went on to qualify as a NLP practitioner.

curly any news?

I am going to look at a flat today - unfortunately it is available now, so if it is suitable we may have to move quickly. It is quite small, but exactly in the right catchment area for us. also dd1 has been very let down by her school recently, so we would be pleased to move her sooner. hippy how are you approaching the whole leaving schools/friends behind thing with your boys? I haven't told my younger girls yet, but they will be devastated.

Just a quick post as at work and want to take advantage of the lovely weather during my lunch hour. Welcome back BB...and holiday blues are to be expected unfortunately. Lou a very big curlylox hug for you my sweet ((((((((())))))))). Very wise words from TTT. Hello to Diege Lol Italian Tina Mitz. Hippy and Gum sounds exciting, fx. Am cd28/12 dpo temp is slowly rising, but boobs not so tender/sore today, have had no cramps, still feeling nauseous off and on so have no idea what's happening. I'm expecting af to arrive rather than get excited especially as have no cramps, although with DD I got cramping pain after I got BFP with the last pregnancy got cramping pain before BFP. The upside is a decent cycle and lp length. Your thoughts please?

Curly thanks, lovely hugs.Oh sounds promising.When you testing?
Hippy thanks very much for being my PA and explaining my terms!!!! Also sounds hopeful .I ve got my fingers crossed soooo tightly for you.Glad you and hubby talking, well having to be on good terms to shag.hope you enjoyed the park.
Welcome home BB sounds fab.Glad you had a good time.Shame about returning to work though.
Hi Italian
Gum oh another one sounding hopeful oh i can t stand the tension.TEST,TEST,TEST oh or only if you want!!!!!! I think the reason theres no national screening programme for Strep B is down to money and saving it.
Hi Mitzi as Hippy explained i can have HVS every day if i want at work!!!! My consultant recommended them with MSU [mid stream urine tests] every 4 weeks.
LOL thanks very much.Glad your son is sorting himself out.
Tank as always you talk lots of sense much love to you.XXXX
Diege sorry you re chucking again.
Hi to anyone i ve missed.Everyone is totally right i have actually broke every part of this down from periods after Georgie to GBOS.I ve ticked it off in my book
ovulation
bfp
6 week scan
8 week scan
10 week scan
12 week scan
Aspirin
Pregnanyl
16 week scan
20 week scan
growth scans
HVS/MSU
Section
GBOS
So as i toodle along i tick them off and it does help.I ve made the referral back to my counsellor today should get an appt in next 2 weeks so being pro active.Today not a bad day.Half day at work and sunny , just tomorrow then 4 days off YEH!!!!! Back to full time now grh.....However with the BH's and all the AL i ve got left from last year got lots of 3 day weeks so thats good.
Love to all XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Welcome home BB. My boys are not too happy about leaving their friends but as DS1 is about to go to senior school he will be starting again anyway, so would be a good time.

Good news:- My lovely DH (yes I know the irony) is currently working for a well known holiday park place. He got an email about last minute booking for easter at huge staff discounts. And what do you know, we are going away for Easter. Anyone wanna guess which Park we've chosen....... drum roll please - yes it's on the Island. We have to go incredibly early on Friday and are coming back incredibly late on Monday to avoid the M25 nightmare but whoop whoop, well be on hols for the whole Easter break.

Bad news:- Had my first bit of spotting today. Boobs still feel big but I do know from experience that this is usually the begining of the end. I know you'll say, it ain't over etc and implantation spotting etc. But I think I know deep down no babies for Hippy this month. The weird thing is, i don't feel as bad as i sometimes do. I just thought "Ahh well, concentrate on this holiday and making it nice for the boys etc" Maybe I am actually ready to stop (soon )

Good luck to curly and gum - keep us posted ladies.

lou Big hugs to you and GBOS.

jolls I know you're dead busy but wanted to say Hi to you.

italian I have dug out the Paul McKenna disc and have fallen asleep to him twice now. He does talk sense. Maybe you should get it second hand from Amazon.