Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 3

[Curlylox]

As you were ladies

Thanks Italian. No, dp isn't the father of any of my kids. He has his own 5 year-old daughter (conceived within 3 months) and he's been responsible for my chemical pregs and my m/c. I think we're both pretty fertile; he's 38 and I'm 45. It's me effing eggs, I should think.

I've now had the joy of AF arriving during a htp test . Ok, so I was only doing it so I could stop thinking about symptoms (was due on on Tuesday) but even so - stop the perimenopause symptoms, pleeeese. I'm only just getting used to the idea that I've probably had my last baby; I don't want to be getting short cycles, hot flushes and atrophied bits. As you can tell, bit angry today. Dp is checking out donor eggs but synching cycles is going to be tricky if mine aren't stable. Have sent an online form off to a local fertility clinic. I'm going to ask for Clomid as a last resort while I get myself on a list.

Oh boooooo. Please write some cheery posts, someone, to cancel out the negativity while I

meant hpt - doh. Is mental confusion a symptom?

Thank you all for your support and comments, I really appreciate it. DP and I had a big bust-up yesterday morning and things are not good between us. I went out with DD yesterday and all I could see were happy families with young children all around me. She was lovely and supportive, but I don't want to lay all my cr*p on her, it's not fair. I think maybe I will try and find some kind of counsellor, although right now I don't know if I can actually talk about it, i just burst into tears. We could still conceive naturally but, as we all know, that just gets tougher and tougher at this age.

Am I right, we have two lots of tingling b**bs going on here, hippychick and hopefulgum - fingers crossed for you both, this is very exciting stuff!

Italian - good luck as well; I can't imagine what you are doing is easy, but it will be worth it.

BTW, I can't seem to do bold or those little characters - am I really dumb?!

Have just read lolfactor - I'm really sorry. It's so hard isn't it? I guess that's why we are here posting comments at this time on a Sunday morning ....

Hello Ladies I have been popping in and and reading your posts but not found time to post until today. Re bed ?breaking? last Sunday, Dh fixed it thankfully and I can laugh about it now. However the morale of that story is if your bed starts to make noises every time you sit or get in it, tighten the screws!
Lol and Gum currently 9dpo and have usual symptoms, the tender/sore boobs, feeling nauseous on and off, got a new symptom - heartburn but have put that down to anxiety/worry not food. I ovulated later this month and my last two cycles have varied in length so too my LP, so goodness knows when I?ll come on, although my temp has slightly dropped today. I kind of expect to see the witch in a few days, even though every month I think this will be the month I get a BFP. Lol wasn?t sure I was reading your post correctly when you mentioned about pooing in a bag , hilarious all the same. Am far too precious to do such a thing
The Dr was right, the Consultant is a lovely man, wonderful bedside manner with a very familiar smile but can?t put my finger on it who he reminds me of. With regard to dh low sperm count and motility, he didn?t seem too bothered especially as we both have dc from previous marriage/relationship and falling pregnant twice one resulting in our dd and the other a mc. Consultant wants dh to do another sperm test possibly even a third depending on the result, then he said he do invasive test on me ie flushing dye in my tubes. So we?ll see.
Lou hope you get over your cold soon. Good to hear all is going well.
Panashe and brinjal ((((((((((((((@))))))))))))))
Hippy sorry your dh didn?t get the job but you know when things like that happen I tend to think as one door shuts another door opens.
Diege really do hope you get over the sickness soon, can?t be any fun I?m sure. Please keep us posted on your scans.

Italian I?m so excited for you , we want a blow by blow account please as we hold your hand. If it?s any consolation, I have a sweet tooth and I also battle with sugar but it is oh so yum. I have passed this sweet tooth onto my ds (21) but he counteracts that by being a regular visitor to the gym and looking after his ?body beautiful?. Sweet tooth has also rubbed off onto my dh who once upon a time used to say he was sweet enough?.groan
Gum I too want to shake your dh, haven?t got anything helpful to say other than I?m on your side
Boo hiss lol and Isaboo that the witch turned up for you. I knicker check too by the way.
Hairy hello and happy belated birthday.
Tina good luck re dd uni and dh job, fingers crossed it?ll all work in their favour.
BB when are you back from V?
Nicole I ovulated on cd16 usually cd13. I try not too dissect everything too much, easier said than done but when I do over analyse I tend to think what?s the point and libido goes out of the window.

Avignon is there someone who you can talk over your fears with, like your GP? I understand your fears I do but the way I look at it is this is something I really want and have to give it my best shot. Whatever if any gets flagged up along the way, I will cross that bridge when it comes. When my rocking chair years arrive and I look back on my life I would like not to have too many regrets if any.
Tank great to hear all is going.
Erm lia we?re waiting very patiently to hear from you
Waves hello to jolls and aj71 and anyone else I may have missed.

curly wow what a long message. We will forgive you for not posting before as you have defo made up for it. Glad the consultant is so nice. Strange that they want your DH to do 3 sperm test (any excuse to fiddle huh!)

avignon sorry to hear about the bust up. It is always a very emotional time when TTCing and rows do tend to happen. I hope you are ok now. Yes, I do have tingly boobs but I have to point out that they ALWAYS feckin' tingle during the luteal phase for me so i usually try (but fail) to ignore them.

isaboo glad to see you back but so sorry you are CD1. Indulge yourself and treat yourself. Every new month is a new chance, sweetie.

lol it's so horrible when AF arrives during a hpt - the ultimate bloody irony. Sorry, hon. I don't think they have to get your cycle in sync. They can stop and start yours if necessary. Ask italian she is our expert and her cycle has gone a bit awol at the moment.

Love to all. Nothing to report here. 1 week after ov and boobs are doing their usual. gum can you test yet?

Who was it who was asking about the bold etc. Just put an either side of the text and put the word inside []. like this*

Don t think i can follow that MASSIVE post from Curly but here goes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Curly i m ok thanks..Just chilling which is helping.Preparing myself as back up tp full time at work this week YUCK1!!!! can t believe i ve been back 6 weeks already.Your consultants sounds lovely? Has he given you hope?
Hippy sorry about your hubby but as you say where theres a way theres a will!!!! Glad the old "boobies" are still sore.What cd you on ?Enjoy the sex we ve gone back to the "old" days had it twice in 8 weeks!!!! Draught time here we come again1!!!
Tank hope you re ok?
Hi Isaboo long time no hear.....Sorry about af back to it girl...{i know its exhausting and boring being "sexy" all the time}
LOL Well done on trying to get "the ball rolling" at the fertility clinic.Hope you get an appt soon.
Hi jolls hope you re ok?
Hi Gum Hope you and your hubby can sort stuff out soon.Bloody men!!!
Nicole get to it then if you re ovulating you never know it could be this month.
Avignon ((()))
Panashe Hugs also X
Italian how exciting really hope you get some news about progression etc....soon
Tina happy for you that stuff seems to be sorting itself out re; your daughter and hubby's job.
Hi scan date buddy Diege hope you re ok? Managing to eat and not chuck everything up XX

Phewee worn out now!!!! Think it's my last week of hormone injections this week.Got my mW tomorrow pm so that ll be ok.Been on Amazon and ordered a doppler.I ve still got my doppler i used with Georgie but it s a really basic one so i ve treatred myself to an all singing, all dancing version well, it displays the heartbeat as well as hearing it.
Me and Ant been chatting he's scared as i am at times that this will all end badly again it's so very hard not to let emotions run away and to remain logical and practical that what happened to Georgie won t happen again for a variety of reasons.At times this pregnancy is flying by but on the other hand at times i feel we ll never get to 37 weeks with out baby.It s really very scarey as i come out of 1 high danger period i find a load of other worries to stress about.Most time i can just block it all out but sometimes it s just too much.Right LOUISE breathe for today you are pregnant 1 day at a time......
Love to all XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh i did create a massive post and my spelling is dire.I meant to say "get to 37 weeks with our baby, not without!!!"

I'll have you know that I created that message in word doc over several hours.........think I will now find time to post little and often

Avignon you are not dumb, it is just asterisk before and after the word and not space.Hope you will find someone in real life to talk to, we are here for you but a reall life person can help well too!I always used to cry a lot when discussing problems with people but if you can get through the tears and communicate how yoau re feling in words it really does help, that sounds weird but what I mean is that it does help you to work out what is going on.

Louise great that things are going well. Please tell Ant that you are both amazing for coming through all you have been through. You are a great couple, coping with all you have. May this all end very well for you. Hugs.

Hippy hope those tingly boobs lead you somewhere!

Curley my bed groans with a kind of painful 'ooh what a weight' when I get on it. Should I be worried? Curlylox Thanks for that lovely long post.

Lol Don't worry about trying to synch your periods with a donor. There are people out there who have treatment and do not have periods so the clinic can deal with all that. I think that the Clomid is a great idea for a limited time.

brinjal Thinking of you.

Panashe how aew you doing?

Diege How is it going?

Hairy Happy birthday

Tank, Alba, Jolly, HopefulGum, BB, Isaboo, Nicole and aj71

I feel happy that I'm making progress with food. My mother-in-law made me a packed lunch 2day (hubby was doing the London Marathon and I went to watch with my father-in-law). The packed lunch came with THREE chocolate bisuits bars! I only ate one of the bars. Quite proud of myself! A while ago I feel sure I would have eaten all 3 of them!

Now I am getting somewhere!

Morning girls. I don't know what to think now. Bloody 's are really quite tender this a.m. And I had a good high temperature, and feel quite hot now, but the BFN this morning (11 DPO) suggests that these symptoms are just here to make fun of me! I know it is early days, but I've always had a hint of a line by this time before. Nothing this morning.

And one other thing is that I've not had any cramping at all, which I did have with all my pregnancies. I know all pregnancies are different, but having had 7 of them you'd think I'd have it sussed by now!

Nice to hear from you Curly - that's a mammoth post! Well Done.

As for my DH. I've tried shaking him - doesn't work...He's been away again all weekend, so no more chat about having a baby. It probably won't come up til fertile time again, in which case it might not come up til the week after I ovulate IYSWIM? [evilconivingbitchwifeemoticon]

gum I know what you mean. The line's always there - if faint - by 11 dpo. At least you've got yourself braced. What IS causing the mock-preg symptoms? I get them too. Hippy did you say it was a nice heavy dose of progesterone? I've just been checking out the progesterone deficiency info on google ( I know, I know, what on earth am I doing). I really want to keep mine high for as long as possible. As far as I understand it, progesterone is made in the ovaries and, once in the bloodstream it stimulates the thalmus and adrenal glands to make it too. Progesterone keeps the stress hormones at bay. If you're stressed, they keep the progesterone at bay.

Ergo:

Tell the CCF to poo in their own bags. I'm not playing.
Have loads of lovely massages and facials (dosh permitting).
Get some regular sun (Northern hemisphere's lack of light causes all sorts of stress on the body, apparently).
Eat at least 70-100g of protein a day (pass me that bacon sandwich).
Exercise - to absorb that excess cortisol (stress hormone)
Think of taking 3 progesterone drops in a vitamin E solution.

Will ask the clinic when they bother reply. It's 7.45am. Surely they'll all be at work reading my appointment request email?

Bloomin' dp is off to Ireland to play golf. 3 of our friends at work have converted him over the last year and now they jet off everywhere as a golf 4. Jealous? Me? No, I'm perfectly happy with childminding solo and watching reruns of Friday Night Dinner with beans on toast on a tray

Have a good day, all. Thanks for all your kind words. Keep posting, Avignon. It's going to help you clear your head, I think.

Morning! FWIW Lol I think you evening sans dh sound blissful. In fact I could quite eat beans on toast myself now
Italian good going on the sugar-resisting. I think (well, I know) I have a massive problem with sugar. I was eating 3/4 choc bars a day at one point, and always have to eat the whole packet of biscuit. You just take one or two with a cup of tea is an alien concept to me. The only way I can 'defeat' it is by saving the goodies up for evening (I do Slimming World so can have 2/3 choc digestives/small choc bar a day and still lose weight). In fact, while I am still being sick once a day around 6ish, I am feeling like eating a wider range of foods now, so may loosely follow SW during this pregnancy
Gum, do you know from charting the day you actually ovulated, and if so can you detect possible implantation from any dips? The high temps are encouraging. If I were you I'd wait for 16 high temps then test again.
Hippy your boobs must be at bursting point by now. You've certainly given it your best shot (or rather, your dh has ) and I have everything crossed for you x
Isaboo, I know what you mean about denying yourself when you think you may be pregnant. My fave things to have when I'm def not is expresso caf coffee and solphadine plus .
As I said then, I think the sickness might be easing a little (I should bloody well hope so at coming up to 11 weeks...) although worst vomit ever yesterday after chicken pie and chips, followed by 2 portions of tiramisu - what was I thinking. I thought my eyes were going to come out of my head so forceful was it. Anyway, hope I haven't put you off your breakfasts!

Thanks for that Deige will never eat chicken pie again in fact struggling with my toast at the moment 11 weeks! Fantastic got to go builders arriving now to tear down various bits of the house and probably throw sugar and used tea bags everywhere .....lovely ..will post more later

lol - I think alot of my sympoms are due to progesterone yes. I always get achey boobs and heartburn during the 2 week wait and I think they are due to a healthy dose of preogesterone. My LP has gradually lengthened - so deep joy I get those symptoms for a bit longer . My boobs don't usually die down until just after AF has arrived - they bloody taunt me those things do. Love your in-depth plan for the LP

I am now at the bit of the cycle I hate. less than a week before AF is due. It's all to play for and every wipe in the loo is torturous. I keep thinking this time next week I'll either be preg or on AF (I am totally bloody sick of having that thought).

Was almost convinced that i no longer want a baby but my friend who had a baby at exactly the same time as our lost one was due has been round today with her little boy. he's 7 months old and I just walked him around the garden singing to him and watched him fall asleep in my arms and I feckin' want one for sure now [mad desperate woman face].

Watching my two boys make a fuss of him was lovely and I only thought, "Wow this is how it could have been!" a couple of times - honest!

gum sorry about the BFN. I know you usually do get early positives but it could be too early to test - maybe??

louise My goodness woman NO-ONE could blame you for having fears. If I ever get pregnant again I will be worried enough after my experiences so cannot imagine how you must feel. It's awful cos there is no cut off point for you. You get to worry right up to the end, my love and that totally sucks. All I can say is that, yes, what happened to Georgie is rare and the doctors are doing their upmost to ensure that this one makles it to full term. I think we will all breath a bit sigh of releif when you get your baby in your arms - can we all come visit?? You and Ant are doing so well and you appear very calm (all an illusion probably). Lots of love to you.

diege you are such a greedy pig - stop stuffing your face until you're sick Seriously though, big hugs - bezzy mate.

jolls Where the f**k are you Mrs? Working on the house??

Bloody estate agent wants us to drop the price of the house. We were being a bit cheeky with our asking price but I want as much money as possible for IOW - am I being greedy?? Yes, Hippy, now shut up.

isaboo watch those builders they'll eat all your biscuits.

Hi ladies, sorry for my absence but I've been trying to get my head straight after the mc and trying NOT to think about TTC again, so this thread wasn't the best place for me to be. I've tried to catch up a bit with what's going on with you all but now my head's spinning with it all! Condolences to Panache and Brinjal. So glad Diege and Lou got good news at their scans and FX for everyone else.

I'm back because I've decided I do still want to TTC after all. It's weird, because until I got pregnant and had the mc, I was quite resigned to the fact of being childless, but now I'm absolutely desperate to try again. The counsellor said it's a natural reaction to the loss, and that the feelings may diminish in time, so I gave it a few weeks but I still feel the same way, so here I am again! I had three weeks off work in the end (last time I posted I thought two would be too much) and they've been very nice about it so coming back wasn't too bad.

Unfortunately Gum and Avignon, I know exactly where you're at with your DH & DP. My DP doesn't want to TTC again either but I desperately want to. At least he will now SWOI (which is an improvement) but he's being very cautious. How long ago was your mc, Gum?

Hi mitz. So sorry to hear that you and your partner are not entirely in agreement. Is it because he is worried and doesn't want to see you go through any more pain? I think that what you say is quite common. There were women on the MC threads that i used to go on who had gotten pregnant by accident and hadn't really wanted a baby at that point but once they lost it they found that they really wanted to be pregnant again asap. It's tough isn't it? - unfortunately these desires can't be switched off (life would be so much easier if we could ). i wish you and your DP well and hope you'll hang about on this thread for a while.

Hi, Hippy! Hope your are doing OK!

I think my DP genuinely doesn't want children, although he loves his sister's kids and would make a great dad. He did find the whole pregnancy & miscarriage situation very difficult to deal with and he doesn't want to go through that again. He did say that if the (unplanned) pregnancy had continued, he's sure he would have come round to the idea eventually (he was still at the "OMG whatever are we going to do?" stage when I started to miscarry) but that's very far from wanting to plan one.

He's sensible anyway; it's me who's being a bit mad. At the moment we live 200 miles apart and only see each other at weekends. I do plan to move up there; said plans would have to be accelerated if I were pregnant, but it may be the push I need to get on with things.

Mitzimaybe so sorry for your news. I hope it will all work out. If I am too nosy, ignore me, but why do you and DP live so far apart? Am I right that neither of you have any children? If you are keen to ttc I really hope DP will come round to your way of thinking. How old are you and did you get pregnant quite easily this time? Sorry too many questions, nosy me!

Hippy really hope this month will be good for you.

Hopefulgum sorry about the BFN.

Isabu look out for the builder's bums!

BB any news on the move?

lolfactor how are you doing? Any news from the clinic! Unlikely that they will get back to you that quickly! Good luck.

Oh Diege I know that bisucit feeling of finishing off the packet, well, I don't know that O ever did that exactly but I did polish off a medium sized Galazy with DH about two weeks ago! What was weird was by the end of it I was not even enjoying it! I now know that it was not about emotinal eating but impulsive eating. What is weird is that I am now managing to keep it under control. It feels good to get some control in eating. I just hope it will all continue. Managed to have one croissant for breakfast. I know for some people one croissant is one too many but for me I just want to eat normally. I refused the last slice of pizza at lunch. I have not weighed myself for 2 weeks, I will at Rosemary Conley when I go back in a week's time. I hope the results are good but my main concern is just eating normally.

Italian, I don't think you were around on here when I first posted. I don't think you're too nosy at all! I'm 47 and DP is 10 years younger. I spent far too many years of my life with the wrong man, met this one the summer before last and hit it off straight away. He lives near my parents so I was going up there one weekend a month anyway, to see them. Now I go up there twice a month and he comes down to me the weekends in between (depending on football fixtures.) I'd been considering moving back to be closer to my parents before I even met him, and now I have an extra reason. But my house and my job are down here so I keep putting it off.

I thought I was too old to conceive so we never used any contraception. We weren't trying, but I didn't mind if it happened, as it were. It took 18 months for me to fall but like I say, we weren't trying or SWI at the right times... It may well never happen again but I'd like to at least try whereas he wants to use contraception.

Good luck with the donor eggs when it comes round!

Hi Italian you're right. The clinic never got back. I rang - sat on hold - rang again. They said they'd call back in forty minutes. That was this morning. It's not easy, is it.

Funnily enough, I thought I'd rung them first thing and, after a really weird conversation with a chap with an accent, realised I'd mis-googled and rung an alternative chinese medicine fertility clinic. I was so embarrassed by the mistake I ended up on the phone for 30 minutes while the guy tried to sell me £360-worth of herbal jollop that would have me pregnant within 6 months.

Mitzi your story is inspiring. It's good to hear there are others who've found the right man a little late in the day.

I'm 45 and my partner is 38. He lives nearby but hasn't moved in because my ds2 (aged 18) is not quite so 'dear', and hasn't been for quite a few years. Coming in at 3am, telling me to f...off if I ask him to tidy his room etc. Not really the kind of thing you want your little daughter to live with. I'm hoping that he grows up soon. Sometimes he smiles and I see a glimmer of the little boy I loved. Then he'll snarl and push off with his scummy mates. I'd love my dp and Poppy to move in, but I can't see an end to it while ds2 is still here. He's not going to uni (no motivation) so it's a job in the summer as far as I can see. Hey ho.

Off to pinch a packet of Diege's biscuits. She won't notice. She's busy returning the tiramisu from earlier

Lol You rang a clinic on a Saturday and someone was there? I am surprised. I am sure they will get back to you but to be on the safe side just call them again tomorrow. I am a great believer in persistence!

I am a bit confused, are you and DP trying for a new baby but not living together? He has a daughter (young) and you have a son (18)? If yes, I am up to speed! Problems with your son sound horrible, it must be tough. I am sure your lovely little boy is still in there! My friend has a son who does nothing much, is on the dole and lives in a rough neighbourhood. I feel sorry for her because her son is giving her a lot of grief and he does not get on with her partner! Hope your son finds some direction. It must be so tough. Hope it all works out. Sounds like the scummy mates are not helping. I'll pray he meets some lovely young lady who will inspire him to get a job and get on with things!

Mitzi I do remember you now! I've been on this thread off and on for over a year but I kind of drop out for while. I know I don't have the same chance every month as others but when I get my shot I will have a fab chance!

All the best to both of you lovely ladies.

Ladies this is so cool

www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ted.com%2Ftalks%2Fview%2Fid%2F1096&h=0d8ed

Yes, Italian, it was lovely! Thankyou.