Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[galwaygal]

This is a continuation of the "More ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings"

I thought I would keep the title short as there are so many long ones out there.

I thought I would start the new thread so that you don't forget me

Gum sending you a hug, thinking of you.

Hello all. Gum thinking of you today- hope you can resolve things with your dh.

your situation has had me thinking quite seriously about what I'm going to do too. i feel that I have wasted 2010 being too preoccupied with ttc and not concentrating on the dcs I already have. I can't do this in 2011 and need to move on slightly I think. Not quite sure how i'll do this, I am wondering whether it is time to give up completely and encourage dh to get the snip.

Roll on 2011 and some good luck on this thread. it's been a shitty year for most of us i think.

gum So sorry to hear that your DH isn't behind the whole 'trying again' thing. It is very early days though. i hope you are able to either persuade him to try again or that you are able to persuade yourself around to his way of thinking. Either way i hope that as a couple you can remain strong. i hope your children are baring up ok. My boys were very upset when we lost the first pregnancy but, as children so often do, they did bounce back. My DS1 said to me recently that he had given up waiting for another baby from us and he was just gonna look forward to having his own kids now (he's 10!!!!). Anyway, sending you hugs from the UK. I'm guessing you could be in 2011 by now - how strange.

BB I know what you mean - i seem to have spent the last year in limbo and cannot believe that we are fast approaching the anniversary of my MMC - where the fuck did that time go??

I hope that 2011 is kind to us on this thread and that we either get the babies we desire or we get the strength to get off this bloody merry-go-round and move on.

Anyway, despite the fact that the thread is feeling down due to poor old gum's news - i would just like to say "Happy New Year to all my virtual mates. XXX"

ps. gum things are so different around your way. It's good that they offered to analyse this pregnancy and look for chromosone probs - we defo don't get that here - unless we have had several MC's. I never knew the sex of the 2 embryos i lost (in-fact with the second one I don't even know if there was one as they could only see a sac). BUT I do tend to image them as boys cos that's what I'm used to. I hope you choose a lovely piece of jewellery, my love.

Thanks Hippy. I'm sorry to make the thread sad. I wish I could wake up and find this was just a horrible nightmare.

Here's to a better 2011! Here's to healthy babes to everyone.

My DH and kids went out and celebrated the new year with friends last night.I think they had a nice time. One of the friends is 8 months pregnant, so I just felt way too wobbly to go too.

To be honest I just don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone.Not even my sister. I just cannot talk about it, and don't think I can handle the sympathy and hugs etc.I don't even want my DH to hug me. How long will I feel like this?

On a brighter note, is anyone coming up to testing time?

Hippy, the impression I got from the doc was that I'd get that information from pathology, but I've since read on Australian forums that you don't always get told chromo and sex info and they might just confirm it was in fact a baby. But I already know that because I saw it on the ultrasound. Actually am really happy that I did get to see my bub, heart beating, because it feels it was real.

I picked a pretty bracelet from Tiffanys. Don't know if DH will approve, but frankly, my dear,, I don't give a damn!

Morning all.

Happy New Year to everyone; to echo what's already been said I hope we all get our happy endings whatever they look like.

Special squeeze for Gum today.

My new year resolution is to be more patient and tolerant with DP and DS. It's only 7.07am and it's already being tested .

Don't worry about making the thread sad gum - it shows what a close bunch we are that when one of us has bad news we all feel bad BUT on the flip side when someone tells us good news we all rejoice - speaking of good news - alba - is that baby coming out yet???

My new years resolution is to lose weight and move to the IOW (plus have a baby if that's possible).

I am at work today ( we had to do either boxing day or new years day - so i chose this one). The security guard just said "I hope it's a good year for you, love - I'm sure they all are!" I replied that yes on the whole they were but last year didn't exactly go to plan!!!!

I thought about changing my name to something a bit different but to be honest I like the name so am gonna be dead boring and remain Hippychick for the new year.

I did think of our lost pregnancies during the obligatory 'Old Lang Syne' and hope that those of you who had losses last year weren't too sad at midnight. Thinking of louise and tank as we head into this new year.

XXX

Forgot to say gum when i had my MMC last feb I felt very similar to you, I didn't want to talk to anyone about it - i wanted to be left alone to lick my wounds. But that feeling didn't last too long and I did get pregnant again within 3 months (although i realise that isn't a brilliant example cos i did lose that one too - but I hope you get what i mean).

Happy New Year . As others have said, let's hope that it brings a lot of good fortune for us all.
Gum I also felt as you do after my mmc - didn't want to see or speak to anyone, just sit on the sofa and stare into space really or at least a couple of weeks. What made it harder for me (and I realise I'm probably in the minority here) was the 'untelling' to people at work and family. Hoping that those around you can be sensitive to your wishes at this time xx
Hippy I hadn't realised your second mc had been so soon after the first. That must have been really tough, especially emotionally .
Well the gym has been well and truly joined (albeit online) so am waiting for them to contact me now and I can get going. My resolution this year is to lose weight (about a stone) and get my fashion mojo back. I've always loved clothes but have put that side of me on hold, thinking I'd be in maternity stuff (ditto the weight loss).
Onwards and upwards for us all!

Yes diege I too had told people and had to un-tell. That bit is shite. yes 3 months inbetween. But now it's been 6 months since my MC and i am ready to be preggers again (can you hear me fate????)

It's funny isn't it - there is a definite theme on this thread (or is it just the new year thing?) Many of us have spent 2010 expecting to be preggers, getting preggers, losing it and expecting to be preggers again and as a consequence we have all lost sight of the weight we have let creep on.

We're gonna end up being a weight loss support group .

So who is gonna be the first BFP of 2011??? I am actually very scared of getting one (although i want it IYSWIM ) I'm just worried not only cos of my age but also cos I'm so feckin' fat .

Good luck at the gym diege I know you are a stylish fashion girl at heart - I can just tell.

'Stylish fashion girl'; I am liking that on so many levels Hippy . In my defence it is Isabella Oliver stuff I'm drooling over rather than having my usual french connection splurge, but the net result is still shapeless t-shirts and jeans to hide the ever increasing muffin top . I am also dreading in some ways a bfp and its accompanying anxieties. I know for me that sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy, and no sickness an impending mc, so even if I do get a bfp the next week or so will be incredibly stressful. Not as stressful as never getting another bfp though I think
So the first bfp of 2011??? Not me I think, as temps very erratic this month, but you never know.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1114884-So-my-dh-bought-me-a-slanket

{grin]

Morning All

Its been a while (been a bit ill last few days) but have had a good read through all the messages.
Well just to echo everyone elses thoughts here and feeling pretty much the same as the rest of you.....

GUM Please don't appologise for making the thread sad... you have been through the mill honey and as HIPPY says we are a troop and when one of ours gets bad news we all feel it Im really sorry for what you have been through (I know the feeling only to well)...
Unfortunately there is a series of steps you have to go through until you come out the other end and everyone has to deal with their pain in their own way....don't rush things and take very good care of yourself xx

BB Totally agree with your sentiments I feel exactly the same way ..... 2010 was filled with such pain and sadness for me that I am unsure if I want to put myself through that again.....it has all consumed me and taken over my life and the thing is Im NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER ... so if I couldn't achieve this bubba when I was 42/43 how the hell can I do it when Im 44 (next week)....... I guess it's time to be realistic and give myself a good talking to ..................

HIPPY and DIEGE Hmmm yes that weight has crept up on me too and like you DIEGE I have also not been into my clothes as much as I was always been mindful/wishful of my pregnancy wardrobe ...hmmpff ... oh well I have always got my Zumba dance dvds that hubby bought me and are still in the box in the back of a wardrobe somewhere ....

LOU such a lot of crap you have been through and are still going through it's enough to send you LOOPY !!! Don't let the buggers get you down honey....your time will come round again and happiness will reign once more (I'm pretty sure of it)......
When I had 2 of my losses 2 of my friends got PG at that time and one has had her child (a beautiful girl...due when I was) and the second one is due in Feb and I will have to do the grin and bear it thing but it is painful I understand how you feel totally...x

In fact worse than that for feeling 'old and ridiculous' is the fact that a distant neice has just had a baby too (her 4th) but she is only in her 30's and was just a little girl when I had my first at 21...(and I stupidly confided in her about my desire for another baby and my losses and now I just feel stupid...

Oh well what can you do ??? I usually get really tearful and sad at New Year but this time there was no point really as I have been in that place all year so I was just happy to kick 2010 out on its arse and lets see what 2011 may bring......... my only bugbear with it all is 'What did I learn from all of that' what was the moral of the story (surely there must be one) so that I can move on .... but there is nothing to take from it all.... other than the fact I have born and raised 4 human beings (and still continue to)and love them with all of my heart. Well there's nothing wrong with wanting to have that again is there????? But it seems i am asking for the earth.....

Well I am rambling now and getting on my own nerves....

So sending lots of love to all my fellow band of 'troopers' because we did have a tough year and I hope that 2011 can bring us all some 'clarity' and 'purpose' but most of all I hope we can find peace and contentment in wherever our lives may lead us xxxx

I want to put my money on LOU getting the first BFP please ........

Muchlove to all xxxx

Hello there all, just reading through all your heartfelt 2010 reviews and feeling sad with you but also want to wish you all a much happier 2011 with loads of happiness for all.

Gum I do hope you're giving yourself time and space and not feeling like you need to be 'back to normal' right away. The after effects of anaesthetic hit me hard to start with, then the hormone crash kicked in, and it takes time to get through it. Your obstetrician sounds fantastic, I would have loved to have known why and I'm sure that getting answers will help somewhat. But I would have been just devastated if my DH had felt even slightly relieved or hadn't wanted to try again and I wish we could change that for you. Huge hugs.

If you're changing the thread to a weight loss club I'll be a regular very soon (unless this baby is 20kg I have my work cut out for me!). No happy news to start the year just yet but I'll keep you posted hippy as soon as anything to tell (or maybe lia will get typing sooner than me!). I'm tired, big and to be honest just anxious now to find out if all is well with this little chap, due tomorrow and I don't think I can stand being two weeks over again. But I know I'm incredibly lucky, I just want this last bit over with now.

I'm crossing my fingers for BFP news very soon!

May 2011 be happy, hopeful and healthy for us all xxx

alba if you get a chance to read this before the birth - good luck, lovie. You're in good hands with lia I'm sure of it .

Come back soon with news and, of course, to join our fatty club!!!

How is 2011 being received by us all so far??

Alba all the very best for the big day. Just take it easy, do whatever is best for you and baby and don?t worry about it all going to plan or how you expect it to go. Is this the first one? If so it is a bit scary, we went prepared to the hospital with (believe it or not a bucket to sit on ? me not DH), music CD player, bouncing ball, food oh the list goes on, it was almost like I wanted to make it the most circus like it could be. But after much pushing and shoving and tea drinking I had my baby and that is the important bit - So here?s to you and may your little one make just the right entrance.

Gum how?s it going? Glad to hear you chose a nice bit of jewellery. I think that is a lovely idea. We chose lovely necklaces for our two donors, although we only had treatment once. Next time we will go for a bit of fair trade jewellery (like the first time). Perhaps a bracelet instead of necklace, to ring the changes!

BB how?s it going?

Hippy interesting that your son wants to be a dad sometime (soon ???), of course that will make you a grandmother! Tee Hee!

NewImprovedJollster did you manage to keep your patience?? With the family at 7.00 a.m.

diegestylishfashiongirl All the best with the weight-loss.

muchlove please do tell me how the Zumba goes, I am all intrigued! DO NOT feel stupid for confiding in someone your desires. If your distant relative/niece is a nice person (and I am sure she is) she will care and wish you well, she will not think you stupid at all. I am not sure you need to learn from every experience you have but I think maybe many of us who do have a child or children have felt (I know Hippy has mentioned it and I feel it too) what a miracle any child is, so the fact you have four is amazing. It was not wrong to want another but maybe you can take from your experiences at least a tiny glimmer of hope that you have had four children/step children (whatever your family make up is I can't quite remember) and yes, you wanted more but you got to parent four so far. Maybe you will get more or maybe you will not but you already have a wonderful family and that in itself is a miracle.

Tankfairfluffy thinking of you, sweetie.

Louise love and hugs to you dear girl.

Love to all

hi all
can i join ur thread please?

Morning all, doing ok in 2011 so far as it's been a relaxed chilled Christmas break. My DH usually works long hours, so it was lovely for us all to be home and not rushing out to work/school etc.....bliss.
My stitches are out and have started physio on my knee and have been given a further 2 weeks off work, yay.
A big dark cloud is descending over our home today about noon time......yes my MIL is coming to visit until Saturday!!!!! She's fortunately nowhere near as terrible as our louise mil but I'll be glad to see the back of her come Saturday.
Gum your in my thoughts, remember we're here for you whenever your ready to rant, scream, cry ok.
Talking about weight I have a fair bit to lose myself, I need to cut out the crap basically and eat less bread, that'll be a start.
Waves to Italian (how's Johnson doing?), Hippy BB Diege GG Jolls Much alba lunatic and anyone else I may have missed. A huge hug for Gum and Louise

Happy New Year and welcome Ozmum23!! I'm sure some of our lovely bunch will be along to say hello.

i will be 45 in march this year and am stay at home mum to 2 boys (6 years and 23 months).
hubby would love to have #3 but i am not so sure because i am flat out busy as it is!

hi curlylox :)

i also am aware that clock is ticking away and i am not getting any younger!

Sorry not ignoring you just trying to get things ready before MIL arrives. So you concieved your youngest at 42/43, do you kind me asking how long it took to have DS2 please?

curlylox it didnt take long- conceived on 3rd month of trying. i know i am v lucky to have gotten preg so quickly.