Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[galwaygal]

This is a continuation of the "More ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings"

I thought I would keep the title short as there are so many long ones out there.

I thought I would start the new thread so that you don't forget me

Gum had spotting at 8 weeks with DD and bleeding a 14 weeks, it was (they thought) the placenta. Anyway, try not to worry and get a scan.

All the best, praying for you.

Love to you Lunatic glad things are well.

Fairyfluffytank thinking of you hon.

Louise I can't say why but I have a really positive feeling for you. Please just try and be nice to yourself and you hubby. If your hair cut makes you look like a tit, which I doubt, go to the hairdresser and ask them to make it look less tit-like! I do find if I get the things in life which I can control) under control I feel better! No it won?t make all the difference but it will make a little difference (or should that be a tit-tle difference!). If you can't laugh with me, laugh at me!

The hamster has already been out in his ball, up his flume and all over his mega expensive mansion. This bloomin' pet is getting more exercise than me!

I am not sure what to do during this wait, I am feeling frustrated that the wait takes so long! I must lose a stone a.s.a.p. I think until New Year's Day I won't be able to take it all seriously. They are starting new RC classes in my area (that's Rosemary Conley, not Roman Catholic!) and I will be able to go three times a week! I must get fit then! Or should I just buy myself a massive hamster ball!

Still no af in almost 5 months so the donor is really the only hope aside from adoption for us.

Love to all.

I've seen my Doc and the bleeding seems to be getting worse.I also have mild cramping. He said two thirds of women presenting like me will go on to miscarry.It wasn't very reassuring, but I have an ultrasound in about an hour, so will report back then.

Truth is, I think it may be over for me and I'm sad. I realize though that is nothing I can do about it. Whatever happens, I couldn't have changed the outcome.

I honestly don't know how women cope with this over and over.How devastating.

gum so sorry to read your update BUT one third DON'T MC? I had a massive bleed with DS so can add to the real life examples of it turning out ok.

Will pop back for your US result. Much love from chilly England from us all to you x

Gum I ll keep my fingers crossed for you.Take care XX

Italian Tee hee!!! "less tit like!!!" Love it.Its my own fault , i asked for a bob [after foregetting bobbed hair doesn t suit me!!!] Its growing now so is starting to look a bit better.You do make me laugh , you could never offend me.Sat here , like a goon,laughing at your comments.How on earth do you manage with no period for 5 months? Do you have pcos?[if you don t mind me asking].As you know we ve quite often discussed adoption.Hope you re enjoying your new pet XXX

Hi TFLS XX

Hi JOLLS you ok?

HIPPY i know what you mean about when it happens, it does.I know it may not happen next month, just meant with our crap luck it probably will.Oh dear, i m not making much sense as it wouldn t be crap luck!!!! Shut up Louise!!!!! Hope you re ok?

Well, we had fun yesterday with the MIL from hell.Long story short; she keeps ringing up having a go at DH then threatening to commit suicide.

She did it again last night;cue 30 odd phone calls with her slagging me off, saying at least now this has happened with Georgie i 'd know how it feels.[Her dh died 15 years ago at 54].

Cue me trying to talk to her like an adult, but she can t communicate at all, so instead of talking to me she would hang up the phone!!!!As i tried to explain the 2 situations are totally different her dh drunk alcohol,smoked and was overweight and as an adult attributed to his lifestyle.Whereas Georgie is an innocent baby who had no influence on the outcome.She retorts "oh, i knew you'd have an answer, you always do!!! Its all about you isn t it?" So as i say yes!!! But also your son is mourning then you re going to lay all this guilt on his shoulders by threatening suicide.

Shes so selfish.To ring your son up, threaten suicide.We went round [my idea[ after we'd been out for a meal i stayed in the car.After about 1 hr they came out the house and i could hear her slagging me off so i confronted her.She accused us of not caring and of me being rude [which i definately am not] ended in her slamming the door in our faces!!!!

Shes just rung and left a message on the answer phone.So , at least i know shes still alive.Did feel guilty she'd top herself to spite me.Stupid old bag i ve told DH i want no more to do with her he has to have a relationship with her but not me.

Shes the only one that hasn t given a donation to Georgie's charity site,every situation is bought back to her.Arh............Stupid,stupid,stupid!!!!

Thats better!!!!!!

Gum nothing really I can say, but have everything crossed for your scan. I have read somewhere that spotting around 10 wks is common due to the the placanta taking over around now (ditto loss of sickness) but having been where you are at 10 weeks I know that (as you know grom the gp's) it can go the other way too. Thinking of you lots x

Louise what an appalling MIL you seem to have . I applaud your restraint, I really do. What's your dh's take on it all?
Italian and Hippy I'm with you on the need to lose weight. I too have loaded it on over xmas, and was shocked yesterday to see quite how much. Am trying to start today (slimming world) but know how impossible it can seem with goodies still circulating.
Love to all, and will check back later for Gum's news.

Unfortunately, the bleeding got worse, and an ultrasound this afternoon showed that our baby died just after we'd seen a heartbeat at the last ultrasound.

I'm feeling so sad and I think this is the end of my journey.I don't think I can go through ttc again, and then, if luck has it and I get a bfp, all the worry and waiting. It's early days though, so we'll see.

I was given the choice of a D&C, but am opting to let things take their course naturally. Who knows how long it will take. I have the option, should I want it later.

Sorry about the doom and gloom, but I'm not taking it well!

Louise, you win the prize for the worst MIL ever!

Gum am so sorry :(. It's so horrible I know; all your hopes and plans suddenly change, I remember that so well. Take care of yourself x

gum I'm so sorry

louise your mil sounds hideous. Is there anyway you can just cut her out of your life?

Also need to lose weight. I spent the year thinking I would be pg again soon and would lose weight after that. I am thinking of doing the 30day shred dvd (bought and still in wrapping about 6 months later), but also will just have to stop snacking.

hello everyone else!

Ah gum sorry, it's shit isn't it.....we're here for you and having experienced a m/c earlier this year I can relate to how you feel, very very

Oh Louise OMG thought my mil was bad but your mil is terrible, has she always been like that?

gum like the others have said, I do remember how devastating it is to have all your plans whisked away from you. Take care of yourself and don't make any major decisions just at the moment. ((())) So sorry, my love.

BB I was the same, i was either pregnant this year or assuming I was about to be preggers again so didn't bother to diet - stupid stupid woman!! Now I have a huge amount to lose. We can all try to support/bully each other.

louise you really don't need that kind of shit from your MIL. I can understand your not wanting her in your life. Tough on your poor old hubbie. How can she compare her husband's death to your loss of georgie???

looney glad to hear all is ok with you for now.

italian sounds like Johnson is having a ball at your place.

ps. Father Christmas bought my DS2 a kids slanket for xmas. He loves it. Lucky for him he gets to be in slanket phase the whole time.

Sorry GUM its shit.Having had 3 MCS i can relate to your feelings, but, though it doesn't seem it at the moment you will get through.Slowly,slowly XXX

Thanks you lot, yes, you re right she is the world's worst MIL.My dh's knows totally what she's like.I ve told him i don 't want anything to do with her again but its up to him if he wants a relationship with her.She has always stirred and lied and has to be the centre of attention .She did it at Georgie's baby shower and Georgie's service .All my woek friends commented on what a nightmare she was at the baby shower.

My "friend" who was due on the 27th Dec, has just text me "Hope you guys are well.Just wanted to let you know we had a baby girl yesterday called Annabelle.Hope you don t mind me texting"

What do you think of this? I had wiped her from FB ,she sent us a xmas card and sent me her e-mail address previously in case i wanted to comtact her.I feel a bit like she's bragging.Haven t text back as what i want to text isn't very nice.Something along the lines of "No great surprise, your baby was virtually on time and fine".

Louise the worse thing is your "friend" probably doesn't realise the effect the text ext has had on you, some people just don't think or are oblivious or ignorant or inconsiderate or all of the above. You're doing the right thing by not texting back but also don't hold on to the anger especially with the recent situation with your mil from hell.

Thanks Curlylox i ve come to realise that lots of people are ignorant or just don t care so bo**ocks to them!!!!

Gum I'm so sorry. I remember the feeling so well, finding we'd lost our little bean right after seeing a heartbeat on early scan at the start of this year. Devastatingly disappointing and confusing to have carried on for weeks thinking everything was fine. All those dashed hopes not to mention the hormonal crash too. Try to give yourself time and space to recover before any decisions. Big virtual hug.

Louise, so sorry to hear about your attention seeking MIL, though for what it's worth I think you're dealing with her as well as is possible, you can't change her, best you can do is limit her impact on you, which you're doing.

I don't belong here (conspicuously youthful!) but just wanted to drop in and say to louise I got your message and have just read about your MIL. I am . What a horrendous woman. Who, who for heaven's sake, rings up their son who has just lost his daughter and threatens suicide???! So sorry you've got that to put up with. And for you about your friend's baby girl. It's bloody hard isn't it. You are doing great, good luck for a sticky BFP soon xx

Gum - I'm so sorry my dear. It's horrible and so unfair. Sending you loads of love. I miscarried naturally last year if you have any questions. Like everyone has said, it's too early to make any decisions - I'd stick all that in the "too difficult to deal with" box for a while.

Louisesh - blimey I thought I had read about some awful MILs on mumsnet but yours really takes the biscuit. What with this crap about competitive grief - who the hell would want to win that competition anyway.... This is not about her - this is your very current and very raw grief. Don't know the back story about your friend. Maybe she sent the text as she chickened out (sorry there is obviously more to this than I'm aware of). I would try to completely disengage from them both (easier said than done I appreciate) and carry on surrounding yourself only with people who are healthy for you. Sorry to bring up the subject but don't know if you watch Eastenders. I think the new year episode will involve a cot death (sorry for the spoiler and you probably a) never watch it or b) completely aware of it) but I didn't want you to get blindsided by it. Hugs to you xxx

To those thinking of dieting - I was definitely overweight when I got pregnant (as my name suggests) - not suggesting it's a good idea but just to reassure you that you can still get up the duff when you're carrying too many pounds.

Thanks Alba XX

Thanks Tfls shes such a stupid cow.Don t watch Eastenders but had read about the cot death story coming up.Sounds very silly but, thanks for thinking of me.Hope you and Charlie are well? My "ex" friend is nice but, got pg within 2 weeks of trying,had a problem free pregnancy and gave birth 1 day after she was due!!! Oh and never had a MC grh.....Just think "do you a clue how lucky you are?" She's one of those people who if were to land in sh*t would come up smelling of roses!!!! I ve not replied to her text prefer not to think about her.Let her get on with it and i ll look after myself.We might re-connect in the future we ll see?????

We're doing fine thanks.

Stupid cow sounds like the understatement of the day! All credit to you for not going round there and giving it to her with all guns blazing. Do you ever box when you go to the gym - I was thinking of some visualisation for you!

Gum I am so sorry.

OH NOOOOOOOO GUM !!!! Oh my love im so so sorry to read this very sad news......... How bloody upsetting for you and your family, please take care of yourself (body and mind) xx

Hey all haven't had a chance to get online over Xmas so got a lot to catch up with but had logged on and saw GUMs sad news and just wanted to keep this post for her I will have a back read and be back after.........

Sending Muchlove to you all xxx

Gum Hope you are feeling OK and your family are looking after you.

Louise MIL sounds terrible. Just try and buffer yourself against her horrible words and ways. I am sure Georgie doesn't mind that her grandmother hasn't contributed to her charity. Your DH will feel better if he feels he has done the 'right' thing in relation to his mum, and you and he can work out together what the 'right' approach is.

Louise I agree you don't need to be involved with MIL. Just my opinion, ignore if not helpful but don?t get into discussions about which loss is worse etc, it will not make you feel better and it will not make her feel better. But it may make you feel better if you can make every effort to blot her words out. You are not surrendering yourself or Georgie in doing that; you are just dealing with this bullying behaviour. I am assuming you have tried reasoning with her in the past. She does sound like she is mentally unstable, so best to try and just not let it affect you personally. As I say, only my opinion. You and your DH will work out what is best. Maybe it is best to cut her out of your life but for DH that is a harder call. If she does actually kill herself or when she does die, it could be more harmful to your marriage if DH feels he has not done the 'right' thing by her - but I must stress you and he can work out what the right thing is and it will not be being at her beck and call and being disloyal to you etc, so it should not make things harder in your marriage. Does that make sense?

How is the haircut, less tit-like, I hope.

BB I have read about the shred; let me know how it goes!

gum that's shit, I am so sorry. :( I hope the next few days pass as easily as they can, try not to make any huge decisions at the moment, it's a journey I'm sorry to say. Hopefully there will be light at the end of your tunnel too.

louise Your mil sounds completely nuts, keep your distance, you don't need anyone stressing you out right now. Lots of love to you. xx

Hio to everyone else, Had boring mw today, baby head down, measuring slightly larger than dates, no surprise there, last one was 9lb 5 at 3 wks early, hopefully this one won't hang around in there too long either. Got cons tomorrow for bloods for Oc, am hoping i might escape this time but my record of 3 sucessive pg's with it, it's not looking great.

Hope everyone is well.

Those seem like very wise words Italian - I'm always struck by the love and balance in what you write.

Far more mature than my sock it at a punchbag!

Lia -just crossed posts. Glad your doing OK and hope tomorrow goes well.

PS - think the "less tit like" hairdo should catch on. Might try it on my hairdreser. I went last week and the checky mut asked me if I had had the baby yet!