Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[galwaygal]

This is a continuation of the "More ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings"

I thought I would keep the title short as there are so many long ones out there.

I thought I would start the new thread so that you don't forget me

Morning ladies xx

(Arrives dragging a large, bulky parcel...) It's a Christmas tree for the snug, and a big, big box of little white Christmas tree candles. Hippy - you're right - there has been an awful lot of pain in here. I'm busy ignoring Christmas irl, and won't be doing trees and presents and the like, but I thought it would be nice to have a tree in here to remember our losses... There are so many candles in that box, because there are so many to remember. xx I've lit the first candle x

louise I'm sorry you're having a hard time - you are very early days. I saw you got your results, but there aren't any answers really, are there - I know what happened, but it doesn't stop me thinking WHY? Will be thinking of you and your DH. I am sure he hurts just as bad - he will just be handling it differently - that's hard too, but you sound a strong couple, and you will grub through xx

Hippy I'm hoping it's an implantation bleed too!

Italian I would have been hoping for a mircale beanie too... but maybe March is your month - I really, really hope so!!

Gum good luck for tomorrow - well, it's my tomorrow anyway (confused)

Jolly normal sounds good - fingers crossed for the rest... In a way though, perhaps it would be better if they found something that explained it all, and was simple to address...

Much love to muchlove GG and everyone else I've forgotten...

11 weeks, plus 1... that's quite good, isn't it. xx

(Wanders away wondering about Hippy and her boobs)

Morning . Sorry for goung awol - it had been a mad few days, all dcs ill in one way or another, with me and dh taking it in turns to stay off work to look after them. Dd3 on the sofa now, but will have to put in buggy and push up the hill to watch dd1's school play (which means ds has had to be put into nursery as can't push 2 buggies)...Good news is that I'm not in the office now till jan 10th, thouhg have enough admin and marking to keep me going for weeks.
The tree looks great fluffy I see it's one of those very kitsch powder blue acylic ones? And yes 11 weeks is brilliant
HIppy I have everything crossed for you here. What a great xmas present that would be. Are the boobs still 'not yours'?
Louise what to say I think the advice to expect no more than an existance just now sounds very right. I can also think of nothing worse than a partner's work do after your loss, and I'm sure dh would acknowledge that too. I am oddly the more 'male' in my relationship with dh, and try to 'fix'. The only exception has been my mcs where I have become very introverted. Am thinking of you my love xxx
Italian a pound is a pound..it's going in the right direction though don't be too hard on yourself over xmas. I am trying to avoid the 2 large boxes of xmas chocolate biscuits in the cupboard..
Gum best of luck for tomorrow (is it your Friday today? I have a strong feeling that all will be well x
Muchlove interesting to hear your experiences with vitex. THis is the one month I haven't taken it (wanted to have a regular cycle minus it)though it has lengthened my Lp from 9 days to 11/12.
I am on cd 2 today, so have had a LP of 15 days...May start on it again though as it's either a post-mc fluke or the result of the vitex finally kicking in!
Love to all - the patient is screeching.
Oh and will get the chef booked again for a Friday night xmas bistro - I think we all need it!

I ll light a big bright candle for the tree thanks.Nice to see a lovely sparkely tree as not got our s up.

Italian 1lb off is better than 1lb on!!! I m a slimming world girl and was going to return after Georgie.I lost all my Georgie weight but have since put 3-4lbs on due to too many biscuits and limited exercise only!!!!

Diege sound chaotic!!!! Hope all are better soon.

Good luck Gum X

11 weeks yeh pinkfluffy Got a scan date yet?

Frustratedhippy no cat flap at this house .Used to have one at our old house but wouldn t have one again as our big bruiser tom used to bring rats in to our house then become scared of them thus leaving yours truely to dispose of the same!!!! No cat crap today just cat vommitt!!!!! Lovely.Poor bugger , its my little girl .I ll "sit" on her the next few days and see.[Not literally!!! Medically : as in wait].

Any news , frustratedhippy? Heres hoping girl XXX

We had a long chat last night and i told Ant about the outcome of the counselling session and how i need protection/looking after at the moment and that currently our roles are reversed.My dh wasn t upset about missing his xmas party said it would have been nice but understood why i didn t want to go but thought would just ask me.More swi last night....come on, bring on the bfps....

Oh a chef that sounds good for the snug plus copious amounts of wine , thanks very much XXX

Hi to everyone else.

Jolls how you doing ?

Morning Muchlove hope you re well?

Morning all,
IGH Well done on losing a pound at this time of year that's equivalent to 8lb in the summer you know and what did you mean by chins up are you suggesting we have several chins you slim person you

Gum good luck for the scan will Dh be with you?

Diege we've had a house full of snot just lately, lots of broken nights so you have my sympathy.

Hippy please give us a christmas BFP pleeese

Louise glad your dh understands now, Men are funny things, my dh is a very unemotional person it's really annoying he just moves on and expects me to do the same ie remembering due dates is in his words 'silly', but for us who've lived every second of pregnancy with it the number one thing in our lives it's not so easy. My MC's have been earlyish so nothing any where near as tragic as your loss, you need to be held physically and emotionally. You are not the person you used to be you've lived a nightmare that has changed the person you are forever, I hope with time and caring your strength will grow and you will start to live again. Always remember anytime you want to scream, cry or slag of dh we are here for you. Wish I could hug you for real ((()~)))

Love to everyone else Spotty

Oh nearly forgot Fluffy 11 weeks is very good, when's the big scan? Are you still feeling ill. You are often in my thoughts and as others have said you have taught me a lot in the short time I've 'known' you
I'll have 3 candles if I may
(((~))) to you
Spotty

Spotty thanks very much for your support.

They are a funny bunch aren t they, men?

I would gratefully accept a group hug from all you lovely ladies XX

Just popped in to light 2 candles for the 2 pregnancies I've lost this year . My 10 year old is very into health and safety - he is so not gonna like all these naked flames - I just wont tell him.

No AF yet and am on day 26 (long cycle for me). I keep allowing myself to hope a little bit and then I remember that i am just one wipe away from disappointment [argghhh face icon].

diege so nice to see you back - missed ya babe. XXX

spotty lovely words for Louise again. we are a rather poetic bunch arn't we -

gum everything is crossed for your scan and fluffytank yours must be soon too. Take care in that snow, my love.

Hi to everyone else. oh by the way GG we just got a box of books out of the loft to sort out cos we need the box. It said books on the outside and there were books on the inside but there was also a bag of BABY CLOTHES! It reminded me of your Next Sock incident. DH said we should keep them .

Tree is looking lovely - (special everlasting candles that never go out by the way)... I'm just going to add a canadle next to Georgie's for Looney's daughter, Daisy. ( louise Looney used to post in here quite regularly a while ago - she lost her little girl too - she's about 30 weeks at the moment... maybe she will call by....

(calls looney .... lunatic in Brigadoon fashion.... )

My scan will actually be a 13 week scan... we are in France when I turn 12 weeks.

Thank you spotty I am still feeling ill - my midwife came today (we are friendly) and was delighted by my green-ness. I am also beginning to sport a bump.. I havne't any maternity clothes, but I think I'm probably going to take the plunge and buy some this weekend - my legging keep falling down Anyway apparently this is all very posiive, as it indicates things are happening, which is a good sign for the pg still progressing, iyswim Crossed fingers, luck and prayers still welcome...

Diege glad you made it out of the work/sick haze - how kind of you to arrange a chef... I do hope I am allowed to come..

And hippy sounds like a sign to me.. xx

Hi all

fluffypink and Louise and Lunatic, Hippy and Jolls, Muchlove and frustrated, spotty, and Gum and All, may this year be your year and if I have missed your name it is not intential! I have been watching Take That on TV and I'm still flustereed! (Actually they look a bit old! I remember seeing them when I was in my twenties!)

Big hugs to all you lovely ladies.

I did not have any loses this year only my little beanies that did not ever get going and one did not even make it inside me (so had nothing really to do with me!) yet all three were special. So I will light a candle for them. This was not an mc, just IVF treatment with donor eggs that failed and I am NOT comparing them to any other losses experienced here.

I do think I will meet them again in Heaven. I gave them very over the top names, and now I do think of them when I see Laurel leaves and Daisies and Willow trees, not all the time but sometimes, luckily not every time I see the colour green after calling one of them Emerald! Well, I did tell you they were over the top names!

I do think of them. I have started writing my novel again and one of my characters has a name which means the same as one of their many names!

I must say that I do not feel anywhere near the same sadness that I read on here and I would not want to compare it.

Yes, I do not want to deny them, they were real, just very, very small.

They were so small they can a single candle.

Please can someone make sure that all these candles do not set that power blue artificial tree alight!

Love to you all.

Gum keep well. You will probably know your results soon, hope it is all fine.

Fluffy all the best for the scan.
Lousie may this coming year bring peace. Just to make sure you don?t think I am an insensitive oaf, I don?t think working in a charity shop will make it all right! I just thought that maybe having something else to focus on for a bit of time may help you. One of my dear friends has been through a very troubled time and I think she found it helpful writing a journal, but I know some would say that is not helpful. So take what is useful from the advice of others. Like most men (I am NOT a man, but it seems to be a male trait to want to fix people!) and I always want to help others but I know it is not always possible. Thinking of you, honey.
Hippy good luck for the coming days.
My consultant had said from a fertility point of view my thyroid could be a problem, I need my TSH to be below 2, (mine is over 6) so prior to any treatment I need to go on to a low dose of thyroxine and ensure my TSH is below 2.

With regard to immunology he also said I could go for level 1 and level 2 tests but his view is that I am at low risk of having immune issues and they are likely to be normal. So the implication is not to go for tests. I am finding out how much it costs. Hubby is being very supportive, which is nice.

[fbear] Sorry not to name check further as I am busy wrapping presents.

Italian it is a big box of candles - no need to ration them.... (lights another two...) Have to say, I quite like the name Willow

Good luck today Gum Hope all the new is good!

I caved in and tested this morning. I had almost convinced myself it was gonna be a 'yes' but alas - BFN

Still no AF and day 27 here (which is odd for me) - so am clutching at straws and hoping it was too early to test.
That spot of pink was 3 days ago and nothing since. If it was inplantation how long would it be before i got a pos on a HPT - anyone know???

GG I'm so sorry - I forgot to name you personally in my little list of those who have lost babies this year. Blimey, you definitely deserve a mention, my dear. Please do light candles for your MC's. Wishing you well, honey. XXX

Hi!

Thought I'd introduce myself, as this seems to be the thread for me. I was 40 this year and have been thinking more and more over the last year about starting a family. It feels quite overwhelming in the last few months and I can feel it growing into a bit of an obsession!

I have read some lovely stories on here regarding women around my age and older having children, which gave me faith that it isn't just for the youngens! We went to my husbands GP yesterday to have a general chat about this and any risks we need to be aware of.

He has basically said, Go for it! and quickly! He has suggested returning in 6 months if we don't get anywhere. Anyway, the reason I'm here is because I'm worrying so much about everything to do with pregnancy and giving birth, I'm hoping to be talked some sense into! To be completely honest, I am actually terrified of it all and although I want this so much, the fear is making me question whether or not I can actually do this.

Sorry for the long post, but I can't talk to my family for various reasons and would rather talk to others in the same boat right now.

Thanks for listening.

Hi everyone. Haven't been around for ages, but just flicked through thread.

Louise I don't have words to say how sorry I am about what you're going through. I really hope you have some luck soon and next Christmas you have a baby. I know this won't take away your loss.

Everyone else on the bench, off the bench and cheerleading hello! I also will be glad when this horrid year is over. I've had a wobble too about my mmc earlier this year and massive failure to get pg since. I am just despairing that it will ever happen. Anyway, Cd3 for me today and I'm taking myself off the cheerleading squad for this month. hated not knowing where I was in my cycle and whether I had even ovulated. going to make a concerted effort over Christmas - dh is home and not stressed/tired from work which should help and try to just do the deed at the right time which will be a huge advance on other months.

Hippy hope you do get a bfp for Christmas.

Is anyone else near testing time?

hello Nicole welcome to the thread! sorry I put my despairing post just there, but we have had lots of successes on this thread and hopefully you'll be celebrating soon too!

Hi all

Hippy i have my fingers crossed for you i think all seems very hopeful.Its not over to the fat lady sings !!! [funnily enough she was my "due date buddy"] I have a GOOD feeling XX

Italian mean to start writing but never seem to get round to it.Your losses are precious to you at which ever stage.I feel bad now i need 3 more candles please for my mmc,mc and cp.There, i ve covered all the bases but i want an extra big and sparkley candle for Georgie as for me and mine she had the biggest impact.

Hope everyones ok? Good luck for upcoming scans fluff and gum

Hi to Diege,muchlove and 40somemum Sorry if i ve missed anyone.

Bit of a rant coming up: why are people sending us xmas cards with normal xmas messages? Why don t these people think? 2 of my nicest friends have bought lovely "thinking of you at xmas " cards and written nice thoughtful messages.They are lovely but, the rest of have been written without a thought or care.Like we are going to celebrating xmas so soon after Georgie.I ve dumped them all in the kitichen at the moment they may go straight in to the bin.

On the other hand i m in awe of my body [not how it looks!!!] since Georgie i had 2 regular periods [28/29 day cycle] .Think i had annoulavary [think thats spelt wrong!!!] cycle last month but yesterday showed pos on ovulation tests so much swi now.Quite amazed after all its been through it has reverted back to "normal" very quickly.Good old Georgie XX

HiNicole333 Welcome.MMM....what can i say about this whole process!!!!Prepare yourself for a long story!!!!

I m too 40, just, 2 weeks ago.I started ttc in Jan 08 and have since had 1 miscarriage,1 missed mis-carriage ,1 chemical pregnancy and my daughter was stillborn on 10th October this year at 41 weeks.I m not telling you all this to scare you but just to say yes, loads of women over 40 concieve with no problems whatsoever and i m now back on the ttc wagon with a vengence , i think i m telling you my story to hi light it can be hell of a journey.Its nerve wracking but exciting, i now break it down to 1 step at a time.Thats the only way i can cope as to consider the whole "thing" is too daunting and scarey.I hope you have an eaiser time than i have/are having but, i guess , in the end it all boils down to how much you want a child and sheer determination and being stubborn[which i am!!!]

This thread is lovely and incredibly supportive please don t let my story frighten you.You have to do whatever is good for you and your DH.Don t worry at this stage about giving birth as i see on my journey now AGAIN!!!! my first step is getting a bfp [big fat positive = positive pregnancy test] .Please don t be afraid to ask or rant about anything on her.

Hi.Just a quick note before dinner.

Well, scan said 8w 1d, saw little tiny person, heartbeating : 157 BPM. Yay!

Only problem is there's a cyst on my ovary, 8cm (horrified icon)!!!! So have been googling and have read all sorts of conflicting stuff. It might resolve on its own, might just be corpus luteum thingy, some say anything over 6cm must be surgically removed, it might twist ovary, might burst and give me terrible pain, and could cause early labour! Oh shite.

So I've made an sppointment to see GP on Thursday. Hoping he'll have some answers. I think the best plan of action is to monitor it with ultrsound and hope, hope,hope it shrinks. I don't want to have surgery while pregnant - that really concerns me...

Okay, breathe Gum....

Sorry post is all about me.

Will catch up tomorrow...

Hi BB crossed posts!!! Sorry you feel crap at the moment. This whole process is very draining and quite often just seems too hard to complete.Hope you feel better after xmas.I m generally ok [even slightly hopeful] in the month then i get my af and that first day i m really dowm convinced its never going to happen, particularly in light of the fact we should heve achieved it all with Georgie now].
Take care XXX

You re right i m CONVINCED that this time next year we will have Georgies brother or sister by sheer persistance and determination.If i dont concentrate on that thought/hope what do i have? A big fat zero.

Oh i m crap i was trying to cheer you up!!!!! But sound all depressed.Sorry XX

Yeh gum huge congrats XXX

Wow Gum that's great news I wouldn't worry too much about the cyst during your pregnancy. I know guidelines here are if cyst is under 12cm to monitor during a pregnancy and not intervene surgically. I only know this a a friend had one identified at her 12 week scan and drove herself mad with googling etc.
Hippy well don't give up hope just yet - I think 3 days post-implantation will give about 20% of pregnant women a pos test, the average being 6-8 days but that's with a very very sensitive test.
BB good to hear from you. I agree, being in limbo re: what your body's doing does lose its appeal after a while. I have to say I think temping is great and far prefer getting let down by a temp dip than sudden arrival of af.
Louise I agree it is surprising how insensitive people can be. It is good that you have those close friends who are able to give you some comfort with their messages though x Good luck with the SWI!
I'm a bit stuck. Have 2 very poorly dcs at home, dh on work's 'do' and have to somehow get up to school to collect older ones this afternoon. Don't drive, so car's out (I mean I could take the one on the drive as can technically drive (as long as I don't need to reverse ) but never took test, though don;t really rate that option ). Don't really have anyone to call on that could sit with poorly dcs/collect older ones, so option might have to be to put dd3 (5) in buggy and put my 30 pound 18 mth old in sling on hip...arghh my back is groaning at the thought...Oh and welcome Nicola! Just in time for the Friday night xmas bistro

nicole even

Wish I could help diege or rednose as you now choose to be called. Good luck anyway.

Thanks for the positive support. I will keep testing every couple of days until either AF arrives or I get the BFP. Expensive business huh!

Welcome Nicole. I agree - don't worry about the whole giving birth thing. Just take it a step at a time. Once you get to 40 weeks you'll be more than happy to get the little darlin' out.

gum Good news re: heartbeat. Could be the Corpeus Luteum - remember that stupid consultant who told me i had a cyst and my GP said it was probably just that. The next time my ovaries were scanned there were no cysts - so I guess the GP was right.

The tree is looking beautiful and is a tribute to all our little ones. [fbear]

School finished today. The snow arrived in Hertfordshire and it took me 45 mins to get up a hill in the car that usually takes 5. Returning from last minute shopping.(traffic mainly - i wasn't just slipping up the hill on my own for 45 mins )

I might buy The Nativity film on demand and just sit in and keep warm with the boys.

Hello everybody,
can I light two little candles on the tree and have a moment to be a bit sad and remember the little ones I lost? Then wipe my eyes, remember I'm more than 37 wks now and get excited again. But it's a good moment to pause and remember, thanks girls.

Hippy, too soon after implantation. Fingers still crossed for you!

Nicole the risks are higher, but the consultant kindly told me yesterday that I was 'boringly normal', I think his way of reassuring me. My only risk factor is my ripe old age of 42 and if I go into labour naturally he's quite happy for me to have a homebirth. Here's hoping.
Yes, we have much higher miscarriage rates, but remember plenty of women over 40 have babies (the nice kind consultant also told me I'm obviously not too old, as I'm pregnant). Fears around the whole process are normal whatever your age, but if it's what you want, you're in the right place here for some handholding along the way and that really helps.

Louise, big hugs. They're asking after you on the pg thread, I'm not sure if you find it hard being over there just now, but wanted you to know you're in peoples thoughts still, as is Georgie.

Gum I don't know much about cysts, my SIL had one through her first pregnancy, had to be admitted once in a lot of pain, got lots of pethidine to help with it, and it resolved in a couple of days. She went to term with no further complications (though regular monitoring) and said cyst eventually disappeared of it's own accord... Hope yours will resolve on it's own. Great that otherwise all is well!

Must run (well, waddle), waves to all, sorry limited namechecking, stupidly started typing on my phone and it takes ages but thinking of you all.