Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

Ginfoc I'd do Cwis Pakcha likema shot! met hmi once actually.

Best post evah 24pint

Are we seriously doing one-upmanship on having met Chris Packham? Yeeeeeh Wellll! Him from the Bill and everyfink!

I'm not much of a drinker, it's literally a couple of units a month for me, less for jailbait. However, the stress of TTC made me reach for the green fags more than at any other time in history. As for the white goods, his lordship could probably do with knocking processed sugar on the head. Ewwwwww.

I'm loving the cowboy theme... wasn't it Portishead who did a song called "Western Eyes" I think? "All hookers & gin"... now if that's not a BESH slogan, I wouldn't know what was!

Dear Auntie BESH,

I haz to dress as a witch today for work Halloween Frivolities. Thought I had an outfit kicking around in loft, retrieved last night. Put it on and only just covers my foof. Is this appropriate workwear (I am moderately senior but with good legs)?

What if a fit young grduate is overcome with lost and bundles me into the stationary cupboard. Hmmm?

LadyG I think that outfit sounds hot. And entirely appropriate office wear.

Rie my chiropractor often slaps me on the arse too. WTF? I usually expect dinner & flowers before that kind of behaviour. But meh, at my age I'll take what's on offer

LovelyLyra HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a wonderful family day, x
(yeah, yeah, kisses, what of it?)

Morning Hags,and a happy friday to you all.

GinFox I like your name, becasue i like Foxes, and I also like Gin. Good work. Leeetle worried about your views on camping though, although the camper van does make a slight difference.

Riiiiie my love, are you back in the land of the vino?

LadyG pliz to provide photo of said outfit....

Happy Birthday To yous
Happy Birthday to yous
Happy Birthday scorpetta and drinkLyradrink (and my MIL also)
Happy Birthday to you!!

Have lovely days OMG!!TWINZ!! X filled with much love and spoilage

morning hags, welcome to ginfox good call on roller girl there.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! to scorpelina and godesslyra Hope you both have a luffly day.

molesy aries... arial (its a font)... 12pt (its a size of font) hope that does the trick or next stop is sky writing it above your neck of the woods.

I am about to buy a take that ticket for my EDD, my 20 yr old self would disown me.

Welcome GinFucks, Cwis is indeed droolworthy, we spent quite some time on the last fred discussing his merits.

scArieHangover HOW ARE WE FEELING TODAY? You is mighty funny when pisshed posting.

Gaga how on earth can we tell without some sort of photographic evidence? Now get your Bangers out. As long as you're not actually sprouting spiderlegs when you bend over surely that's fine for work?

Happy Barfday to Scorps,
Happy Barfday to Scorps
Happy Baaaaarfday Scorpelina
Happy Barfday to Scorps.

Happy Birthday to Run
Happy Birthday to Run
Happy Biiiirthday GoddessLyra
Happy Birthday to Run

Happy birthday, birthday BESHes!

Just want to say Head if you're lurking at all hope you're OK. I miss you

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIEEE get up!!!!!

Oh, and I'm not a nasty cahhhhh ignoring scorps birthday. Wished her Happy Birthday in Deli.

Salty pliz to have some scrambled eggs. I doubt rie fancies eating & they sound yummy.

Happy B'day Lyra and Scorps!

I've done birthday wishes elsewhere too....

I've just seem an advert for something called 'Toast me' tis some sort of frozen thing that looks like a square findus crispy pancake. Wrong, I say, wrong.....

LorraLaughs Head is fine (I am speaking for her here, you understand) just made of all the busy in the world. But I miss her BESHie wit and wisdom, too.

i miss HBpencil too. also was wondering if everything was ok with extreme after the other week?

Happy Birfday to meeeeeeee and Scorpalina. I am at delicious spa so officially Not Here, but had to pop in to say:

Many, many congratualations to Orchid - I missed the end of last thread so missed your news. Very happy for you lovely .

Thanks for birthday wishes, am having great time, got pissed last night and night before, planning more of the same for tonight and through the weekend.

See you on Monday if not before xx

Ariel that made me laugh my arse off. Hoorah for drunken posting, I hope you sent some ill-advised texts whilst you were at it

Happy Birthday to our lovely BESHbirthdayladies :)

LadyG outfit sounds tremendous; I say go for it.

Welcome lurky lurker ginfox

I haz just baked 66 cupcakes. This is rather more than I intended due to number related stupidity. I now have two vitally important questions to which I know you lot will know the answer:

1. How reliable are those ebay cheapie peesticks, given that they were only 18p plus postage for 5?

1. Is 66 cupcakes too many to carry if the bfn peestick yesterday was wrong?

Gibletstew
Well I can help you with the 66 cupcakes. Pop in box and post to meeeeeee.

Piss sticks do not make you any more or less diffed. Ignore piss sticks, wait for droid. If Droid does not come, wait a bit longer. Then jump in pond. If you float, your are diffed. Or something...

Do you know, back in the 70s you couldn't even go to Dr to see if you were diffed until you had missed 2 (count 'em, 2) periods. So just think on.

Happy Birthday lyra and scorps here is a virtuoso performance of knife throwing and whip cracking whil wearing chaps just for you.

hello foxylady I am fellow V dubbyer camper. Thinking about buying wildly expensive camping accessory like gold plated awning as sure this will encourgae diffedness.

Salty they are beyond wrong and so is the child in the advert. I do like the dark purple kitchen tiles and white units though. this wil not encourage me the processed gak of satan.

I can spell by the way, just can't type.

giblets depends what DPO you are? I don't think they are particularly sensitive. I still got a BFP on mine on DPO14 (droid due date) but it was so faint i thought I was imagining it.

Carrying 66 cupcakes is not advisable in your possible condition, you'd better give them to me for safe keeping. What?

a toastable meat product FFS

WRONG