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Original poster

Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

1000 replies

LadyGoneGaga · 27/10/2010 21:20

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

OP posts:
Ariesgirl · 28/10/2010 15:45

It's to do with Money. Filthy Lucre. That's all I'm a-saying Suffice to say things have been Very Difficult Indeed and now they shouldn't be.

Re the alcohol, how did MrO take to abstaining from booze? Was he 100%? Were you? Did he moan? do you think it made the difference?

Ocarina · 28/10/2010 16:01

Hooray for Rie's good news Grin

Orchid do tell about the booze. Do you think it helped? Were you drinking much before that so was it a huge thing to cut out or not such a big deal? (sorry, very nosy)

I just sent out a long email about the confusing stats returns I've got to sort out, to which my boss replied "aaarrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". This is not encouraging. And now I get to go and sort out my tax return. Someone please distract me quick!

Ariesgirl · 28/10/2010 16:04

Yeeeowch! Boo to tax returns.

Um um um....look there's a lovely fairy! And dragon!

downonthefarm · 28/10/2010 16:09

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.celebritygems.com/images/CanCandancerSmall.jpg&imgrefurl=www.celebritygems.com/entertainers3.html&h=480&w=327&sz=19&tbnid=JX_ae2eowCdZiM:&tbnh=272&tbnw=185&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcan%2Bcan%2Bdancer&zoom=1&q=can+can+dancer&usg=__9DZzohNZu6em-8oWok4HRZdvZis=&sa=X&ei=IJHJTLXRK4P6lwe10PSWAQ&ved=0CBEQ9QEwAg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this is me.

Distracted Ocarina?

No? Great.

Brilliant news Orchid, so pleased for you.

Ocarina · 28/10/2010 16:41

Oooh, dragon, where?

Orchid12 · 28/10/2010 16:54

Lovely picture thanks Rie - just wish I looked as exotic and delicate as that in RL!
Good news on the cash front. Anything that makes life easier is welcome round these parts. Good on you!

occy blurgh to tax returns!!!!

Alcohol watch: We both used to drink what I would class as fairly normal amounts (you may want to disagree!) - a couple of drinks some nights in the week and maybe a few glasses of something at the weekend. I cut it out in Feb and TBH didn't really stuggle as I drank alcohol free beers instead. By June I had lost the plot that many times about babyfail that I think poor Mr O would have done just about anything just so he didn't have to listen to the wailing and knashing of teeth. So, he agreed to cut it out too. He's struggled way more than me as he was having a drink every other night. However, he did come round to liking the alcohol free beer.

Who knows if it contributed. I have tried EVERYTHING! My latest efforts include; FOR ME: acupuncture, pre-seed, no caffeine, no alcohol, organic fruit and veg if possible, pregnacare conception vits, EPO before OV, grapefruit juice before OV and brazil nuts. For MR O: pumpkin seeds, pregnacare conception for men, brazil nuts, limited caffeine to just one proper coffee a day, the rest were all instant or tea and no alcohol, no laptop on knee, fewer baths.

I'm sure a lot of that is just rubbish, but I figured most of it was pretty harmless so was worth a go.

starnosemole · 28/10/2010 17:33

I am trying to read last thread and this thread at the same time and also watch second half of episode 6 of the Wire, which I started on the plane last night and didn't finish due to selfish pilot landing plane, all while molette having completely unscheduled got-home-at-2am-induced-nap, and I am failing at ALL THESE THINGS! I am not a true woman, I cannot multitask. Sad

starnosemole · 28/10/2010 17:52

p33- can't beLIEVE I missed a celebspottingbragging conversation about Orville. Those are my best conversations, and I sort of have one about him.

BTW, nice scrap saltyariel Wink

starnosemole · 28/10/2010 17:57

p33 (again) I always had to have Gary, in the 'sharing out TT game' because we both played piano, and was always a bit [sceptical]...fast forward to imaginary future today where I am counting my millions and my diamond shoes are too tight, ha.

Will stop referring to other thread now I promise. (Though bbqbeaver am v intrested in your hippy shit, can I pm you?)

AlpinePony · 28/10/2010 18:16

Massive congrats to Orchid! :)

owlgiblets · 28/10/2010 18:24

Ohhh, droidy droidy droid, where the fuck are you? I know you're coming because I PO the cheapest stick evah off ebay and it says NO WIN FOR YOU, MADAM. Droidy droidy droid, you evil little beeping fecker, you rusty little barsteward. Yeehaw.

Ariesgirl · 28/10/2010 18:36

That was very lovely Owly. Can anyone join in?
ohhh droidy droidy droid, where the fuck are you...

starnosemole · 28/10/2010 18:36

Finished. Quel rollercoaster.

Rocket am very sorry bout your Nan, hope your Mum's holding up ok.

Am Confused when it comes to the alcohol thing- when I got proper diffed with velcro I hadn't drunk very much for the month before,but before that had ciphoned up red wine in a southerly direction through France for a month. Have had many 'dry' months, and nothing doing, but I do feel more proactive. I can't shake off the sense that when I have a drink I am automatically in 'FU to babeemaking' mode, and therefore sending out negative vibes to fly around my wizened ovaries and sad lonely tube. ( ...So may as well finish the box bottle of wine) I do sleep better when I don't drink though, so am generally more healthy, and am sure that can only be a Good Thing? BBB has abstained for approx half an hour. Once. In 1993 I believe.

Am going to STFU now, but before I go, does anyone have Sky, and does their BBC1 not work? It keeps telling me there's a technical fault, but it's only BBC1 and CBeebies, which is quite worrying- do you think I've worn it out with all my using it as a substitute parent occasional educational use?

owlgiblets · 28/10/2010 18:44

Will the miniMole watch PokerTV or Shopping channel instead, do you think?

owlgiblets · 28/10/2010 18:45

Also; you want to hear my encore, entitled "My Womble is like a sad old Lidl carrier bag" Grin

saltyair · 28/10/2010 19:01

Oh I am loving the singing. Could I get the sheet music for that do you think?

rocketleaf · 28/10/2010 19:30

ah love a good sing song round the ol joanna, so I does.

aries so glad about the wind fall whatever it may be, anything that helps moneywise is a blessing (even tho money in itself is evil)

thanks *nose, mum is fine, she is DHB, not sure she actually liked her mother that much to be honest which is vey sad (although goes back a long time and a bit understandable) My sis thinks at some point this will come back to haunt her but I think she is so super DHB that actually it won't. (i hope not in a way)

On the frol front, we were fairly heavy social drinkers before TTC, ie moderate most ofthe time but could binge with the best of em. We didn't think it feasable (or bearable) to cut it out completely so we limited ourselves to sharing a bottle of wine over a weekend or having the odd pint. I would maybe have a night out drinking during droid. For us it was mainly to improve TBs white goods so more out of solidarity on my part and was obv good for me too. Its been helpful tho as it got me in training for this part of being diffed, Also found I loved the lack of hangovers.

Ariesgirl · 28/10/2010 20:41

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! Anyone seen this?

Ivegotmrbitey · 28/10/2010 21:01

Oh FFS now I should have frozen my ovaries 22 years ago? Is there a song for that?

starnosemole · 28/10/2010 21:19

Bugger me
Is this the end of my fertility?
All those months I tested pots of wee
Were a waste without iced ovary (/ies)

Ginfox · 28/10/2010 22:22

I can lurk no longer - I must ask permission to join the Sacred Order of the BESH. Your observings have amused me greatly, and your group hugs (with optional violence) have moved me.

Please see below my application form - references available on request.

  1. Do you like gin?

The clue is in the name

  1. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

Are they mutually exclusive? I am both!

  1. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use: a) weewee b) poopoo c) foofoo d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

c - no point praying to Baby J, he has no time for heathens like me.

  1. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

a) cos b) would be puke-making

  1. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

b

  1. what colour are your walls?

White - it's a new house and we can't redecorate yet - not that I could be arsed anyway

  1. Number of pets?

DH - nearly house-trained

  1. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Chris "Autumnwatch" Packham - nerds do it for me apparently

  1. Lesbian crush?

Heather Graham

  1. What are your views on camping?

Fab, espesh in the relative luxury of a VW Campervan.

  1. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on? i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it. ii) Over 100 quid iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Gotta be around the ii) mark

Truffkin · 28/10/2010 22:27

Evening FoxFace I think you'll find your Packham love is shared with some of the BESH the weirdos

Ariesgirl · 29/10/2010 00:51

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I hav fallen off the wogon. I am wallowing in the cart tracks as the wagonm disappreas into the distance! I have been doing karaoke with Beautiful Assistanty! Whip crack away!

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