Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

Next Fred: BESH club.

First rule of BESH club - you don't talk about BESH club.

I already said that casowary

Sorry rie I shouldn't have implied you were into necrophilia....

bitey who the hell is that, and what is he doing with that light?

But again:

BESH = Barren Evil Selfish Hags.
We drink gin. We carry watermelons. We drink caffeine. In abundance. We are bitter. We are twisty. We like lesboerotiviolence.
If you come in here and sprinkle babydust we WILL hurt you.
If you come in here and get diffed in your first month of trying after having accidentally unprotected sex once on day 3 of your cycle, we WILL still congratulate you. Because we are nice like that. But it will hurt us. Because some of us have been trying a bloody long time.

If you fit our criteria, find the questionnaire and fill it in, you won't regret it. This thread is chock-to-the-bollocks FULL of the kindest, most supportive, most brave, tenacious, funny and amazing group of women on here.

But we mean it about the babydust.

I haz something in my eye Cass

Grab yer partners by the cock! Yeehaw! Gaga this is thread is genius. I think I may have done "The Coyote" so far this week.

That was like the end of a Bond Film with the seconds ticking down until your looked at a positive pisstick, and then you dived through B and Q's doors as they slowly closed with it outstretched in your hand, and we were all in slow-mo shouting "Yeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss"!

salty is it The Craig with the shiny light?

Oh and Cass please can I marry you? You are lovely and funny and kind and everything.

Er.... I don't drink caffeine but I do eat rather a lot of it in the form of Dairy Milk bars, hopeuflly that counts.

Other helpful BESH acronym: MAD = mass autumn diffment. Follows on from the Mass Summer Diffment Project and proving to be somewhat successful so far.

salty it is DC himself in a cowboy costume. Can't find a better picture (and have spent some time searching) but am going to make sure I watch cowboys and aliens at the weeknd - that one passed me by for some reason. Proably because it sounds a bit crap!

bitey 4 cass

Forgot to say bloody amazing thread gagsie defo genius at work.

look what i found. dead cowboys galore, help yerselves but I bagsy the bald one.

RIGHT I think I might qualify and like cowboys and gin

Where is this mythical questionnaire?

that is Daniel??? He looks different, what have you done to him Bitey? And, I repeat, what is he doing with that light?

I think he is searching for ripe cervices/cervixes (never know which is right..) to impregnate...

That might take a bit of research, try one of the older BESH thread ooozie (extra points for finding it yourself)

You must search for it ooooze.....ask Daniel C to help you with his little searchy light....

Mornin' y'all. I's been riding all doggawn night to get back here- and darn tootin some of that was rodeo style- yeehaw! , Have lassoed (sp? conjugate lassoo someone for me please) this young hoss <a class="break-all" href="http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=www.paparazzimum.tv/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/THELMA_AND_LOUISE_300x2981.jpg&imgrefurl=www.paparazzimum.tv/%3Fp%3D233&usg=__4w_IIIN0aeBf-cDYw-AabdVFOjo=&h=298&w=300&sz=17&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=7xIj1CjfFD_xJM:&tbnh=154&tbnw=163&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbrad%2Bpitt%2Bthelma%2Band%2Blouise%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1020%26bih%3D459%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=208&ei=i1nJTLyOJdGdOv7ErIwB&oei=fVnJTLaeGo714AbiqcyPAQ&esq=3&page=1&ndsp=8&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&tx=75&ty=55" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">when he was fresh meat and face it we were all impressed who will cater to all your freshing up needs.
Have vaguely attempted to start to catch up on t'other thread, but apparently one has to unpack and wash stuff after holidays, so will mark my place here and get down to reading after chores are done. Just wanted to say Howdy, hand out this duty free chewing tobacco I got here, and fire water that was on special in the airplane magazine.

Am I right in thinking its whensitmyturnsturnNOW? wHOOOOO and a HOOOOOOO!!!!!

welcome back starrystarrynight think you have picked THE hottest young stud for our perving viewing pleasure. skills on that and the holiday secs.

yep when is orchid Good innit? :o

Mmmmmmmmmmmm gin

You're as young as the man you feel

I know this one - c) yessss

Jealousy and anger mostly result in a)

I have no idea

Bedroom is bright red, got carried away, was supposed to be a feature wall and we forgot and kept going

A grumpy cat who may not be helping the process

Jon Snow

Chezza

Love in theory, but actually too much of a diva to go without ghd's for long

OK confession: just starting... will update answer in five years next month when diffed

How'd I do? Do I pass?

'lo uzi Yay another cat lady! I'm new on the poas thing too only started trying six weeks ago. In that time I have weed on 30 ovulation tests and one test for diffdness. Sadly after a life time of being very good at tests am failing all the urine based ones.

salty yes that is Daniel Craig and I may have caused permanent damage to him as he is clearly searching for something with that light! [hblush]

PS starsintheirnoses you have blinded me in my right eye with that young whipper snapper!

Welcome back noseymole and good work on the lassooing (?sp)

Duty free filth you say? I probably should, ahem, check that to make sure it's okay

oozy welcome & v.glad to hear you like gin. I want to paint clouds and blue sky on my bedroom ceiling but Mr Shoes/Giblets won't let me. Spoilsport. Does your feature all extend over the ceiling too?

Also who or what is Chezza?

Bitey providing he's not holding a speculum in his other hand it's all okay.

Btw here is my outfit. It doesn't have frilly can-can knickers, sorry.

Out of interst ooooooze how old would you be? Just nosey, is all...and why haven't you answered the lesbian crush question? Hmm?

lesbo crush is Cheryl cole I would guess?