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Original poster

The fred where the BESH practise DIY. Scan the chart below. Customers are kindly requested to keep readers informed of relevant colour and consistency.

1000 replies

Ariesgirl · 16/10/2010 12:18

BESHityourself proudly presents...

The BESHtone colour matching system, for all your interior colourways

000 Clearest eggwhite
001 Watery white
002 All that jizz?
003 Cottage cheese
004 Cunt-ry cream
005 Hopeful Yellow
006 Hint of a Tint
007 Excessive Cigaring
008 Stretchy but streaky
009 Palest Pink
010 Implantation Imaginings?
011 Itty Bitty Brown
012 Brahn String
013 Ovaltine Ochre
014 Sludge Brown
015 Clotty Red
016 Purest Scarlet
017 Possibly Green*
018 Barely Black*
019 Sump Oil Surprise*
020 Nothing. Nadda. Where the fuck IS it?

*Available at specialist retailers

Well Cass had tantalised with her thread and then buggered off. Someone had to do it.

OP posts:
OP posts:
LadyGoneGaga · 27/10/2010 11:53

This is me. Check out ma big gun.

Scorpette · 27/10/2010 11:58

Did someone mention Burlesque Lesbotic Violence Fest? I need a good excuse to wear my mini tophat (see my MN pic)!

Rocket, so sorry to hear about your Gran. [hsad] Just because it's a blessing for her doesn't stop it being a heartbreak for you. Hope you're taking things easy and giving yourself space to grieve

Bitchslaps for all!

Original poster
Ariesgirl · 27/10/2010 11:58

Oh SO much cooler than Doris Day. Wish I'd found that.

OP posts:
Truffkin · 27/10/2010 12:17

Am grateful that GaGa is doing new fred, I'm having an inconveniently busy work day and would not have been able to do it justice .

I am a bit teary eyed that the Shaky love has gone down like the lead ballon that proverbs foretold. Surely it's not worse than Hugh Ferntree Whittingsnape and really, that Mark Greenstreet is an abomination of a man. Plus I was only about 7 so you know, give me a god damned break I get sad looking at pictures of him now he is old, so in my mind he still looks like his young and dapper self

For the BESHt little whorehouse in the West I am going to be this lovely lady. I struggled to decide if I would prefer to be Bonnie, the tomboy cattle rancher with a gun, but decided I'd make more cash on the inside of the saloon (plus I can drown my droid-related sorrows more easily as there's firewater on tap)

Scorpette · 27/10/2010 12:25

Don't worry about your weird Shaky crush, Truffles. When I was very little, I used to have a 'thing' about John Le Mesurier. What makes that very wrong is that he was the spitting image of my maternal Granddad! [hshock]

I like to tell myself that I just got confused and thought it was my Gramps on screen, to make the wrongness okay to my adult mind [hgrin]

Original poster
Ariesgirl · 27/10/2010 12:41

I'd say that was entirely normal Scorps. I used to think John le Mesurier was the bee's knees, despite being a) ancient and then b) dead.

He didn't resemble my Grandad though. My grandad was more like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.ananova.com/images/web/1499337.jpg&imgrefurl=www.siliconhell.com/forum/current-affairs/4795-real-life-meldrew-back-in-court.html&usg=__GtHME612blJYU-2w6wAXeNwMYMA=&h=308&w=410&sz=29&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=DJAB0kf_SlMB7M:&tbnh=154&tbnw=205&prev=/images%3Fq%3DVictor%2BMeldrew%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D618%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C236&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=556&ei=pQ_ITIOfFsOOjAfuq4Ro&oei=mg_ITKjuK-ic4AaAvIjmBg&esq=4&page=1&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:16,s:0&tx=131&ty=89&biw=1280&bih=618" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">him only much more miserable and curmudgeonly.

OP posts:
rocketleaf · 27/10/2010 13:00

Thank you all for the lovely supportive messages. I am really 0k actually. I think because I knew it was coming its easier to deal with. I think the funeral will be hard but its all part of the process so just not thinking about it til then.

rie so sorry you are having a hard time. Hope you are getting the support you need xxx.

gee i think I know who you are talking about and also am fixing her with a beady eye....

Dont really get the DC thing, hes too serious for me. My longest ever crush is Harrison/ Han Solo and I will always be true to him (despite other minor flirtations) Convinced TB to dress as him for a fancy dress party once. Hubba.

I am going be styling myself on www.baronhats.com/images/Quick-dead-stone1.JPGthis for the next thread. We will need someone to defend all you lovely buxom wenches and plus I really fancy wearing some spurs. Cant wait for the first bar brawl.

rocketleaf · 27/10/2010 13:00

Thank you all for the lovely supportive messages. I am really 0k actually. I think because I knew it was coming its easier to deal with. I think the funeral will be hard but its all part of the process so just not thinking about it til then.

rie so sorry you are having a hard time. Hope you are getting the support you need xxx.

gee i think I know who you are talking about and also am fixing her with a beady eye....

Dont really get the DC thing, hes too serious for me. My longest ever crush is Harrison/ Han Solo and I will always be true to him (despite other minor flirtations) Convinced TB to dress as him for a fancy dress party once. Hubba.

I am going be styling myself on www.baronhats.com/images/Quick-dead-stone1.JPGthis for the next thread. We will need someone to defend all you lovely buxom wenches and plus I really fancy wearing some spurs. Cant wait for the first bar brawl.

rocketleaf · 27/10/2010 13:01

Thank you all for the lovely supportive messages. I am really 0k actually. I think because I knew it was coming its easier to deal with. I think the funeral will be hard but its all part of the process so just not thinking about it til then.

rie so sorry you are having a hard time. Hope you are getting the support you need xxx.

gee i think I know who you are talking about and also am fixing her with a beady eye....

Dont really get the DC thing, hes too serious for me. My longest ever crush is Harrison/ Han Solo and I will always be true to him (despite other minor flirtations) Convinced TB to dress as him for a fancy dress party once. Hubba.

I am going be styling myself on www.baronhats.com/images/Quick-dead-stone1.JPGthis for the next thread. We will need someone to defend all you lovely buxom wenches and plus I really fancy wearing some spurs. Can't wait for the first bar brawl.

rocketleaf · 27/10/2010 13:01

Thank you all for the lovely supportive messages. I am really 0k actually. I think because I knew it was coming its easier to deal with. I think the funeral will be hard but its all part of the process so just not thinking about it til then.

rie so sorry you are having a hard time. Hope you are getting the support you need xxx.

gee i think I know who you are talking about and also am fixing her with a beady eye....

I am going be styling myself on www.baronhats.com/images/Quick-dead-stone1.JPGthis for the next thread. We will need someone to defend all you lovely buxom wenches and plus I really fancy wearing some spurs. Can't wait for the first bar brawl.

rocketleaf · 27/10/2010 13:02

Thank you all for the lovely supportive messages. I am really 0k actually. I think because I knew it was coming its easier to deal with. I think the funeral will be hard but its all part of the process so just not thinking about it til then.

rie so sorry you are having a hard time. Hope you are getting the support you need xxx.

gee i think I know who you are talking about and also am fixing her with a beady eye....

rocketleaf · 27/10/2010 13:03

sorry work computer is REALLY fucking me around. [hangry]

Scorpette · 27/10/2010 13:04

Glad you're feeling okay, Rocket (although the triple posting made me think the lady doth protest too much, heheh [hwink]).

Rie, my other Granddad looked like Paul Newman. And my Grans were/are v foxy. Dunno where it all went wrong for me [hsad]

saltyair · 27/10/2010 13:05

Bar maid eh? let me take down your particulars...

I just gave a man £40 as deposit on a large bit of stone. Didn't ask for a receipt. I shouldn't be allowed to make decisions about hardware on my own...I decided I could trust him on the basis that the cat liked him.

saltyair · 27/10/2010 13:13

Howdy pardners

Truffkin · 27/10/2010 13:14

Nice work there Rocket I can think of worse scenes to rest my eyes on than a bit of moody Stone

Salts step away from the cash machine.... (But then again, if the cat likes him, he's definitely not a man who would run away with your hard earned pence never to return with some hearth stones)

GaGa / Rocket I think I am also on your wavelength and hoping for a nice end to this fred.

owlgiblets · 27/10/2010 13:30

Okay what did you lot put into the Google to find your pictures because what I put in brought up a World of Wrong.

Is it slate, salts ? I do like a nice bit of slate.

LadyGoneGaga · 27/10/2010 13:40

Owlie I think saloon girls rather than Whorhouse slut is probably the right way to go? There is still a lot of wrongness out there Grin.

OK, I've written it but not going to put it out there yet since as soon as I do you'll all skidaddle over there and I still have grim hopes for a BFP this fred.

saltyair · 27/10/2010 13:41

I put 'wild west bordello'

No is granite. Left quite un fucked around with, matt finish

well, that's if the man comes back....

laurielou · 27/10/2010 13:51

How did I know the mention of Burlesque Lesbotic Violence would entice scorp out to play? Grin

LadyGoneGaga · 27/10/2010 13:51

I'm vay jealous of the wood burner. We hav a boring but functional gasfire. Maybe if new house is suitable if we evr get round to moving.

cincotart · 27/10/2010 13:52

I just saw a van with BFP emblazoned all across it - do you reckon it's a sign?

saltyair · 27/10/2010 14:00

Deffo a sign tartypants

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