The fred where the BESH practise DIY. Scan the chart below. Customers are kindly requested to keep readers informed of relevant colour and consistency.

[Ariesgirl]

BESHityourself proudly presents...

The BESHtone colour matching system, for all your interior colourways

000 Clearest eggwhite
001 Watery white
002 All that jizz?
003 Cottage cheese
004 Cunt-ry cream
005 Hopeful Yellow
006 Hint of a Tint
007 Excessive Cigaring
008 Stretchy but streaky
009 Palest Pink
010 Implantation Imaginings?
011 Itty Bitty Brown
012 Brahn String
013 Ovaltine Ochre
014 Sludge Brown
015 Clotty Red
016 Purest Scarlet
017 Possibly Green*
018 Barely Black*
019 Sump Oil Surprise*
020 Nothing. Nadda. Where the fuck IS it?

*Available at specialist retailers

Well Cass had tantalised with her thread and then buggered off. Someone had to do it.

In this household we can talk about pregnant women in public by calling them BFPs - this was due to jailbait's misunderstanding at the beginning when he took BFP to mean "big, fat preggo"!

Glad you're coping triggerfinger.

Aries So sorry you're having a shit time. :( Here, have this mackeral about yer chops.

Ok, this is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.kaosradioaustin.org/gallery2/main.php%3Fg2_view%3Dcore.DownloadItem%26g2_itemId%3D9984%26g2_serialNumber%3D1&imgrefurl=www.kaosradioaustin.org/index.php%3Fq%3Dgallery%26g2_itemId%3D9984&usg=__7RVBvydwNZAMj3zJ2kFQBzSISnM=&h=400&w=300&sz=35&hl=en&start=1&zoom=1&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=kKa_rxAwcalPkM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=93&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dburlesque%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rlz%3D1T4GGLL_en-GBGB339GB347%26tbs%3Disch:1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">me (I particularly like the tassles - whaddya think?)

Granite hearth sounds nice Saltyone

Cincs most certainly a sign I tell thee. Are you in the 2WOOFL now then?

Nice outfit Orchid. Can you swing them in opposite directions?

You betcha

Yes - seriously early into it but of course the symptom spotting has started. Don't think I'm ever going to learn.

That pic is the spitting image of you luvverly O. I haz just stalked your chart too....think the sign may be for someone else who I met recently. Now I wonder who that could be, hmmmm. Very excited for you and have everything crossed :)

Sorry that rocky and rie are having rubbish family times xx yep that's a kiss for each of you but with a chilli sting so's that I don't get kicked out due to constant softness.

Swit swoo, Orca - you're gonna be our top girl!

trufflessnuffles I feel bad for mocking your Shaky love now. You have nothing to feel sad about my lover I fancy him so I can't talk.

orcs i got this from you link

"The page has been blocked because the content has been deemed unsuitable by the administrator.
Information

URL: redirectingat.com/?id=470X756&xs=...
Reason: Banned site: kaosradioaustin.org
Category: Adult

? :o

I can still get the link to work....must be a problem at your end Rocks

oh definitely, salts this thread regularly gets blocked by the over zealous work filter, normally its for 'weighted phrases category... "pornography" which makes me laugh, you dirty sluts :D

Afternoon all. Vodka twirls to Rocketta and Squarial , who seem most in need today. Sorry for your bad news(es) ladies

Been out with the parentals this morning to go see my Nan's memorial rose bush and plaque at the crem after her passing a couple of months back. Twas nice; it's in a good position and has both her and Grandad's names on it. The gardens were lovely, v beautiful and tranquil but... there's a tea room! I did not expect this, seems a bit incongruent really. Is this standard practice does anyone know?!?

Why did you know I'd be up for Burlesque Lesbian Erotic Violence, Lozza? The clue's in my name [hwink]

RieRie, big smooches for your down day XX

A tea room....I think that's great! Why would you not want a nice cuppa, and possibly a slice of cake whilst visiting people you loved.I bet your Nan liked a cup of tea, no?

Hello cassowary btw

Well, I think that's what Mum and I decided in the end Saltster - we were even going to go in but it would have involved pushing through about 50 people in black mourning gear so we didn't in the end.....

Mmm....cake. Fancy some, my little saltedcashew ?

Hello my loves.

Sorry to hear about your Nan, sprocketset. And double-sorry to hear that you're having a shit day, Rillettes.

Just FYI - we've been the BESH little gin palace in Mumsnet. But I didn't do enough whorehouse references on that.

And I would like to draw your attention to Captain Tightpants who is definitely going to be my personal slave the whorehouse mascot. I can't decide whether I'm more Inara or Zoe...

mmmm,,,cake....

Cass, am glad your Nan's rose bush and shared plaque were so lovely and have helped heal your heart a little bit. I've never heard of a tea room at a crem before, but it kinda makes sense. People might need somewhere to collect themselves if v emotional and if family members are coming from various places, it's a nice place to have a catch up instead of everyone zooming back off to their respective locations again. And the majority of people visiting crems and graveyards are usually old people, who love a nice tea room. In fact, the idea is genius!

My paternal Granddad (the Paul Newman one) was an Atheist and didn't want a gravestone or owt, so, as he loved gardening and feeding and watching the birds in his garden, my parents have his urn buried in their garden with a lovely stone birdbath on top. It's rather lovely - every time I visit I say a silent hello to him and my Gran has a sit down in a picnic chair and chats to him every time she visits. And if they have a bbq or al fresco meal in the summer and the whole family is there, it feels like he's there too. I think that anything that helps people grieve and accept losing loved ones, like a tea room, or my Gramps being in the back garden, is a Good Thing, however unorthodox.

Sorry for soppiness, am v hormonal at mo [hblush]

I had a piece of coffee cake bigger than my head for lunch pudding. Still feeling [henvy] now.

I still haven't decided what to do with my Dad, he is still in a jar in my sisters cupboard two years on. I think he shuld be scattered up a mountain somehwere or we should all take handfuls of him when we go on holiday so he gets to travel. Sis and bro are rather more prosaic but basically too tight for a bench. This is a bad thing right (his ghost is going to start visiting me soon if we don't get our act together). Teashop sounds nice. I can't think of a single event that isn't made even a little bit better with a cup of tea, and possibly a nice sit down.

Cass does it sound insensitive to say I think that all sounds lovely? Just a perfect Nan setting.

My Grandad's ashes were scattered at the crem, in the tulip garden. He loved tulips & it was the highest garden with a view over the Welsh mountains. Last time we went there we watched a couple of horses galloping through the fields. He'd have loved that.

But a cup of tea would have been marvellous too

scorps I also love the idea of your Gramps being with the family at all al fresco gatherings.

In other news I turned up at my parents house last night & found my dad having a crafty fag in the garden . He gave up about 8 years ago. I just asked him not to start again. Resisted saying I want him around long enough to get to know his grandchild. He did make me laugh when he pleaded with me not to tell mum though .

Ok, after spending an entire day doing no work and positively trying to ignore The Menkul, I have caved.

It appears that I have won first prize on the babeee bingo and will not have to spend my hard earned cash at the FC next week after all. I always knew we were blooming skinflints, but it seems this also applies my ovaries and Mr O's swimmers! Mr O and I are in shock and have shed several tears.

I'm sorry if this is insensitive given other people's news etc. The last thing I want to do is upset anyone.

Where are the BESH??

No posts since ten to four??

What is that about??

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! A WIN A WIN A WIN A WIN!

Ha! Never underestimate the power of the BESH. And my thread has had a win

And to think you got it with evening wee! Well done Orcs. It's your turn now.

what??????

When did this happen??

gah...Xpost...

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOORRRRCCCCHHHHIIIIIIDDDDDDD v v happy for you my dear...

Oh and orcs, did you not know by now that long awaited good news, particularly before a FC appointment, always goes down very well? So let's have no more talk about insensitivity