The fred where the BESH practise DIY. Scan the chart below. Customers are kindly requested to keep readers informed of relevant colour and consistency.

[Ariesgirl]

BESHityourself proudly presents...

The BESHtone colour matching system, for all your interior colourways

000 Clearest eggwhite
001 Watery white
002 All that jizz?
003 Cottage cheese
004 Cunt-ry cream
005 Hopeful Yellow
006 Hint of a Tint
007 Excessive Cigaring
008 Stretchy but streaky
009 Palest Pink
010 Implantation Imaginings?
011 Itty Bitty Brown
012 Brahn String
013 Ovaltine Ochre
014 Sludge Brown
015 Clotty Red
016 Purest Scarlet
017 Possibly Green*
018 Barely Black*
019 Sump Oil Surprise*
020 Nothing. Nadda. Where the fuck IS it?

*Available at specialist retailers

Well Cass had tantalised with her thread and then buggered off. Someone had to do it.

That cake looks awesome Boo TGB has been on at me for not making him a birthday cake so might give it a go at the weekend.

As long as you grate the courgette then all should be fine. It does look good.

Very sorry to hear that rocket.

Please to find salty's original answers to the questionnaire? Following this revelation : "I will not obsess over either sort of SECS" - I fear she's using Mr Hanky's Hiding Hole.

I see where both Aries and Barbie are coming from and agree with the both of them - however, perhaps am more on Barbie's side wrt "think positive". I do agree that "it could be worse, you could have one leg and live on a tip in Bangladesh" less thank helpful, however it's very good I think to stay positive. When I won a baybee after my early-mc I decided chose to celebrate each and every day of my pregnancy rather than turn myself in to a nervous wreck worrying about what "might" happen. If I'd miscarried then at least I'd have still been happily pregnant for x weeks rather than living on my nerves. Life is so fucking tough anyway and so many horrible things happen to us (sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes not) - I am a bit of a "put on a fucking happy face" kind of a person (and actually work towards a fruitful solution!) - may as well enjoy it until it does actually turn to shit. I do tend to avoid booze though... it kills my mood and makes me very unhappy very quickly. :(

Haz confession - haz no interest in TT or Twighlight.

Earliest crush? I think Mark Greenaway (?) - not dissimilar looking to Mr. A as I recall and Dynasty's Dex Dexter - as the great Alexis Morrel Colby Carrington Dexter Rowan once uttered on that Denver balcony "Make love to me Dex". I think we could all take a leaf out of Alexis' book - it's that or Sue-Ellen - she of "You're a drunk, a tramp and an unfit mother" fame.

so sorry to hear that rocket

Pony!! I do not wish to be greeted by talk of Mr Hanky's Hiding Hole first thing in the morning.

..although may explain repeated babyfail... [hblush]

I am liking the variants on positive thinking all you BESHes are employing.

How you doing this morning Rocket?

Lettuce so sorry to hear of the crappy news.

Aw, Rocket come here so I can simultaneously kick and hug you. Hick? Kug?

I also approve of the postitive thinking. I did have a moment of snottering in the car this morning but ended up laughing at myself as it is deeply unfashionable and ridiculous to cry at a Nickelback song on the radio. Ah, the pre-droid insanity sets in.

I did used to find when I worked on a ward that I was more chipper generally as there was always someone in a worse state than I was and I was busier feeling sorry for them than for myself. Pony I completely agree; if I ever get diffed again I am determined not to let the previous mc wreck what should be an exciting (if rather sicky) 9 months. I know that at some point it may go wrong but even so, but I shall try to enjoy each day at a time because the odds are good that it won't.

So sorry to hear about your Nan Rockets&Sparklers. I hope you can think of some good memories of her to get you through the next few weeks.

Truffkin Shaky? What? Shaky???? And I was called weird for my Hugh FW obsession. Shaky???

Shakin Stevens..........my god.

TWINKLE!!!!!! How are you my dear? All good I hope?

snottyowl pliz to not cry, esp at Nickleback. Was the 'this is how you remind me' one?

Er ... yes.

I'm going to blame it on PMT and seasonal shitness disorder. The next 4 months are probably going to be a bit grumpy.

Aw poor Giblets - would a slap round the face with one of those shrek fish things help?

Yes. I love ugly fish.

I used to have <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.supiri.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/wwwsupiricom_yellowwatchmangoby09010xx3.jpg&imgrefurl=www.supiri.com/nature/ocean-life/amazing-fish-for-aquaculture/&h=525&w=700&sz=57&tbnid=xsa8jyOyH6VHXM:&tbnh=105&tbnw=140&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dyellow%2Bgoby&zoom=1&q=yellow+goby&hl=en&usg=__XdDXF0r6pDfXi01OeDN4jRZM09o=&sa=X&ei=lujHTJKJD9TK4gadq4jmBg&ved=0CCgQ9QEwAw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this one

Seasonal shitness is right - I hate the grey. And the dark; my whole body weeps when I have to get out of bed for work in the dark, is just Not Right.

Lettuce hugs to you. Sending some chocolate brownies your way.

Owlie I also have PMT rage. Haven't cried yet but there is time before droid says hello tomorrow or Friday.

In our news: my FF chart is looking very different to previous months which is messing with my head somewhat. I am desperately trying to avoid The Menkul as I am certain it will end in tears by the weekend, but it is there nagging away at me nonetheless. Am 14DPO today, so if temp stays up and no droid today/tomorrow morning then I MAY test in the morning. I haven't bothered with any POAS action for ages as the BFN each time pisses me off more than just getting droid. If droid does come then we have the FC appt on Tues anyhoo to keep me occupied. Mr O went to the docs yesterday and has been referred for his second white good test next week so I'm hopeful that things will start moving quickly as of next week [hsmile].

I know this has been done before, but just quickly those of you that have been to the FC, what happened on your first appt? What do I need to take with me (i.e charts etc)? Did you get chance to ask questions?

Rocket I'm sorry to hear your sad news .

I've had beetroot & chocolate cake & have to say it was delish. Made the cake more dense, like a brownie. Carrot cake is my all time fave. Its cake, but also 1 of your 5 a day - GENIUS!

Alpine you don't like TT or Twilight? Are you completely insane? I was breathless with lust excitement reading the Twilight series. Thought Jacob was AMAZE. Then the film ruined it when I realised I was lusting after someone that prolly wasn't even legal. Ho hum.

Adam Ant was also my first crush. I used to share a bedroom with my younger sister who loved Shaky. We had a huge double sided poster from Smash Hits - Adam Ant on 1 side, Shaky on the other. My mum made us rotate it on a weekly basis to keep the peace

Mr Loz also dressed as Adam Ant during his 30th birthday 80's theme party

Oca I could tell tales of my lubberly 80 degree Californian holiday, but I fear I may be ousted out of the Palais. If it helps I'm still jetlagged to fuck & freezing. But the holiday was amaze.

Seasonal depressives - have you got one of those alarm clocks which wake you up with light? I swear by mine - it got me through a particularly rough winter. Not going to pretend that all my worries disappeared - but I certainly woke up more "naturally" and less crabbit. The light comes on gradually over a 20 minute period before the radio comes on and it does seem to help.

owl Quite - chances of something going seriously wrong are very, very small.

Where would I get one of those light thingies Pony? Would it also make me a cup of tea and a nice bit of toast - I think that would improve my morning mood!!

[henvy] about holiday lozza!

salty You can even get one to give you an orgasm. (Maglight) I just got mine from an ordinary Curry's type place - some are really fugly, some are beautiful and they vary WILDLY in price.

Yeh... I noticed the crying in the car thing too. I cried at Taggart and one of the other FESHes cried because I said "Tropic Thunder" was shit and she thought it was brilliant!

rocket so sorry to hear about your gran.

princessbride good ass kicking on t'other fred, I have noticed that a lot of people on here are bitchy and aggro! Yet come to the place where the bitter evil and selfish hags lurk and everyone is most kind and friendly. Feeling a bit fluffy now, kindly to hit me with fish or some courgette and chocolate cake!

Get a bit embaressed talking about teenage crushes as am still obsessed with Daniel Craig in the way only a teenage girl should be really!

Ah, yes, Orcs , we have co-ordinated droidage this month, how splendid Fingers crossed for the strange-looking chart & well done for attempting to avoid the menkul.

FrostyDonkey I have a lamp thingy but it doesn't magically turn on to wake me up, though I am liking the sound of that v.much and shall investigate.

Also I like to use pie charts to illustrate to myself just how unlikely it is that anything will go wrong. Tis calming. Also reminds me of pie. I like pie.

Yes - Bitey is right. I was thinking only last night how lovely it is in here and how extra-lovely it is that the PESHes pop in to visit.

I really need more decent sleep.

Ps. Daniel Craig? I would. Oh yes. Dirty, dirty man.

Lozza phwoarrr!

Inteeeerrresting, Orchid. First FC appointment - is Mr O going with you? You could take your charts if you wanted (shows you are having well timed sechs), they usually go through any blood test results you may have so far, Mr O's sperm results, your sexual history, what your cycle and period is like, fill in stuff like your height/weight/general health and so on. They may recommend some more blood tests, a HSG (to look at your tubes and womble), and work out a plan of action, eg. 3 months monitored with Clomid, moving on to IUI or whatever.

They should also tell you about any criteria you need to fulfil to get funding for IUI/IVF (BMI, previous children, non smokers), waiting times to get various treatments, what cycle days blood tests and monitoring (HSG/dildocam) need to be done. It can be a bit overwhelming, so write down any questions you have, and get them to write down what you need to do, what cycle day, and how to arrange it (like who rings who, or will you get written to, how do you arrange tests, where will results go etc). I truly hope you don't need it, but it isn't as scary as you think, and you are doing something active which will help you get pregnant. Best of luck!

Daniel Craig makes me go all wibbley.

I also like pie.

But Daniel Craig is utterly, utterly fit. That mouth! Those eyes! That six-pack! Those trunks!

Who's Mark Greenaway?

That yellow fish is very sweet.