Not quite sure why I am posting. I have name changed for obvious reasons. I am on my knees. I lost my job last year and due to the job market have struggled to get a new one. I am a newly single parent, 2 dc One teen and one primary age. I have fought so so hard to get back on my feet. I have done consultancy work here and there, whatever temp jobs I can get. I have sold everything I can sell on vinted/ebay. I do surveys, I do focus groups etc. Anything and everything I can think of to get us through. My mental and physical health have taken an enormous battering. It is isolating and humiliating beyond belief. My oldest doesn't have a winter coat.
For some reason, the thought of Christmas makes me feel sick to my core. My poor kids. My poor poor kids. They are good as gold. They understand. But after the two years of family breakdown, bereavements, uncertainty and extreme financial pressure they deserve to feel the joy and spirit of Christmas. I feel that I am failing them so miserably and the thought is to heavy to carry at times.
I don't know why I am posting really. I am so sorry. I just wanted to share it somewhere as I have no one to talk to about this in real life.