Messed up with DDs gift

[honeyandbutterontoast]

Am so cross with myself.

DD19 is notoriously fussy with gifts. Every year there is something she hates and the result is Christmas pretty much ruined.

So this year I asked for an exact list from her so we could all enjoy the day! One of the items was a watch, she sent a link to the watch she wanted and also said it could be one like that.

Watch was over budget really but I thought best to get the one she linked to. Because it was a special gift I paid a bit extra to get it engraved. As soon as it arrived I knew she would hate it as it was chunky. I stupidly hadn’t done a ton of research on it as I just thought I would get the one she wanted.

She hates it. Has gone off in a strop midway gift opening. Her sister is crying. I’m cross with myself for not being more careful, although I’m not sure what else I could have done? And of course it can’t be returned because of the engraving

Why are you pandering to a spoilt adult??
I don't understand how you got the wrong thing anyway when she sent a link but her behaviour is horrible and seemingly has been for years?!

She sounds like a spoilt brat. Why are you all pandering to her?

What a brat.
I'd be so upset at her behaviour. I don't think I'd be able to look at her the rest of the day.

I take it she has some additional needs that you're going to drip feed? If so, then that's maybe understandable so just be brisk yet kind with her

Otherwise ... just ignore this behaviour which is outrageous

There’s be no more presents for a spoilt ‘child’ in this house.
You didn’t mess up, she sent you a link. She needs to get over herself and stop with the bratty behaviour.

Your Dd is totally out of order.

Wow she is ungrateful. Maybe it's time to bring gift giving down to a more relaxed token presents and let them buy their own stuff. What did she buy you? Sounds like she was never going to be happy. Just ignore her childish tantrum and enjoy the day with your other dd.

Sorry OP, but if my 14 & 6 year olds behaved like this it would be the end of big gifts. She’s 19 and sounds extremely, horribly spoiled.

Sorry to drip feed, she has massive MH issues. So sadly this type of overreaction is all tied up with that.

But yes I do think she’s being a spoilt brat!

Sounds pathetic.

Tell her to grow up

My DD only got a dress, a Guinness Book of Records and some Play Doh for Christmas. She is happy and grateful for what she got.

I’m sorry, but your DD sounds awfully spoilt. I would not put up with that behaviour.

So you got the exact watch she asked for?

My DD is the same age, and I could give her a gift wrapped tin of beans and she would say thank you.
How on earth have you got to the point where your adult daughter not only asks for over budget gifts, but cries and strops if it isn't what she wants?

Does she have a job?
Is she at uni? Either way, she should have learned some basic manners by now.

Christ she’s 19! I’d be appalled at this from my DDs (similar age)!! Ignore her. She sounds awful.

What kind of mental health issues lead to this behaviour? Are you sure you haven't pandered to the behaviour because of the mental health issues rather than them being a cause of it?

Crikey, that behaviour should have been dealt with long ago.

Maybe she is not the sort of person surprises work for. Next year take her shopping/ do the online order with her before Christmas and have her look at the gifts before the day. Then make it clear no stropping will be accepted.

You are enabling someone who will continue to be spoilt and selfish throughout their life. Ignore her and focus on your nice children.

19? She sounds about 3 in her reactions.

Time to teach her how bloody lucky she is to have her health, a roof over her head and her family around her.

Mental health issues mean she has to be ungrateful and ruin others day?
Nah

I wouldn’t stand for that. The whole point of Christmas is choosing a gift for someone that you think they’d like. I hate the idea of sending links and wish lists, especially when she’s the age she is! She sounds really ungrateful to behave that way. I’d explain to her it’s the one she chose and you’ve had it engraved so it can’t be returned. I wouldn’t replace the gift or pander to her.

She may have mental health issues, but what about everyone else's mental health. She is upsetting everyone else.... that's unacceptable. Tell her to change her attitude.

MH issue or not, she's being out of order. Don't pander to her.

You literally bought her exactly what she asked for. You have nothing to apologise for.

Not sure what mental health condition causes an adult to strop off during present opening because a present they asked for isn't what they thought. I suspect its more a case of being a spoilt brat who is now intent on ruining Christmas for others.

How selfish of her

DD19 is notoriously fussy with gifts. Every year there is something she hates and the result is Christmas pretty much ruined.

Why don't you give her a budget then she can decide what she wants and buy it herself? Surely at 19 she should be able to do that?

And why is Christmas ruined if your daughter doesn't like her gift?!? What about all the rest of Christmas? Spending time with family?!?