I will be spending Christmas running around like a headless chicken and eating sandwiches on the side of the road. Great.

[WillyWonkster]

I’m dreading Christmas. My DH and I have 3 sets of ‘households’ to visit and so are having to carefully time our day.
All 3 sets of people are being bloody difficult, they have their own plans (which overlap) and they aren’t budging. 2 of them are renowned for being 2-3 hours late to things too, so I just know if we do come up with a plan it will be left in tatters. And I’ll then be called ‘uptight’.

When we suggest they move things forward or back 30 mins to give us more time to dash across the county we’re met with pursed lips and accusations that we ‘don’t care enough’ and ‘we’re being selfish’. Not going isn’t an option, the fall out would be huge.

Currently we won’t make it in time for Christmas lunch ‘at 3pm prompt’ at household 2 but will they move lunch half an hour, hell will they. So they are happy for us to leave household 1, grab a sandwich from a petrol station and sit in a forecourt for an hour or so before turning up ‘at a reasonable time’ to household 2 (I.e after they’ve eaten Christmas dinner). I should add we can’t have Christmas dinner at household 1 because we’re not bloody invited! They are literally kicking us out!
Just fuck off all of you!!!!!!!!!!
Rant over, needed to get that off my chest.

Just don’t then … ?! It all sounds very unreasonable. Pick one at most. Or quit the whole thing and just do what you want instead.

"Thanks for asking us to swing by, but if we did we actually wouldn't have a chance to have our own Christmas dinner. So we'll be at home for the day, but let's plan a visit between Christmas and New Year "

@WillyWonkster what a shame that you'll both wake up with covid symptoms on 25th and have to isolate until the PCR centre opens

Omg
Why????
Why are you doing this???
Wouldn't it be terrible if you got covid snd couldn't go?

I don’t wish to be obtuse but why on earth are you doing it? I’m not in the least assertive but I simply would say no and deal with the fall out (by ignoring everybody probably).

You really should not do this! It’s your Christmas as well💐

Please , please just stay at home and stop this nonsense

Agree with Pp, pick one or none

I’d accept the fallout tbh. Fuck the lot of them. You’ll be much happier long term if you stop dancing to their tune.

Fuck the lot of them and don't go. And tell them exactly why. Life is too short to put up with this shit.

And I want to add, don’t care about people who clearly don’t care about you.

I just said that to DH, we’re doing a lateral flow test on Christmas Eve and I’m praying it’s positive!

Yeah I'm voting for just accept the fallout. Two households who'd happily see you without Christmas dinner? They don't care about you so fuck em.

You are choosing to do this. Just leave house 1 early so you are on time for food. They cannot stop you!

Are they all sets of parents/stepparents etc

Tell them all no, its logistically impossible

You need to flip your thinking - if they cared about you enough they'd not be like this.

I would not even start to entertain the thought of a day like this.

If you really won't not go along with this harebrained plan (and not going because it would call a fall out, is a choice. You can say no) then couldn't you at least leave number 1 earlier? That way at least you get a dinner.

I know you say the 'fall out will be huge' if you don't make these visits, but surely this could have been better managed, you and your DH are adults.... how has this situation arisen?

I have never visited more than one other household on Christmas Day ... other family visits would take place on a different day.

I don't want to sound harsh but maybe you need to toughen up.... or just be ill on the day/car breaks down and make sensible plans for next year.

Just visit the household cooking for you, see the others another time.

The fall out can't be as bad as the day itself. Let them sulk for a few weeks / months then move on. Stop being a martyr and put your own household first.

It sounds like the fall out might be worth it.

You can either do 1 or 2

Don't try to do both

The other thing that annoys me is that we’re not ‘invited’ round. We are ‘expected’, it’s our ‘duty’.
Last year I’m doing it, only reason we’re doing all 3 is 1 is my family who are the only nice reasonable ones, the other 2 are DHs family, one of whom is terminally ill so last chance to see them at Christmas etc etc.

Fuck that, stay at home!

Don’t be such a mug OP. Another Christmas martyrdom thread 🤷‍♀️

The people who aren't catering for you - go on xmas eve or boxing day?

tbh though fuck the lot of them