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Original poster

I will be spending Christmas running around like a headless chicken and eating sandwiches on the side of the road. Great.

273 replies

WillyWonkster · 21/12/2021 20:01

I’m dreading Christmas. My DH and I have 3 sets of ‘households’ to visit and so are having to carefully time our day.
All 3 sets of people are being bloody difficult, they have their own plans (which overlap) and they aren’t budging. 2 of them are renowned for being 2-3 hours late to things too, so I just know if we do come up with a plan it will be left in tatters. And I’ll then be called ‘uptight’.

When we suggest they move things forward or back 30 mins to give us more time to dash across the county we’re met with pursed lips and accusations that we ‘don’t care enough’ and ‘we’re being selfish’. Not going isn’t an option, the fall out would be huge.

Currently we won’t make it in time for Christmas lunch ‘at 3pm prompt’ at household 2 but will they move lunch half an hour, hell will they. So they are happy for us to leave household 1, grab a sandwich from a petrol station and sit in a forecourt for an hour or so before turning up ‘at a reasonable time’ to household 2 (I.e after they’ve eaten Christmas dinner). I should add we can’t have Christmas dinner at household 1 because we’re not bloody invited! They are literally kicking us out!
Just fuck off all of you!!!!!!!!!!
Rant over, needed to get that off my chest.

OP posts:
duvetdayforeveryone · 21/12/2021 21:14

@Summersnake

Well I’m sorry But more fucking fool you Not in a million years would I do this Have you no self respect? You can say no This is your choice to do this , So more fool you
This.
CheshireKitten123 · 21/12/2021 21:16

Oh for crying out loud.

All these threads about women expected to be Superwoman.

Just don't do it.

Grow a backbone and create some boundaries for goodness sake and stop being a pushover.

Oldraver · 21/12/2021 21:16

Stop being such a martyr and stat hi home. Surely your not seriously thinking of having a sandwich f of r lunch ?

And even the one that is terminal....unless you think they will die before the say is out, go Boxing Day

speakout · 21/12/2021 21:16

You don;t "have " to do any of this OP.

As others have said just stand up and be an adult.
If you act like a doormat people will treat you like one.

HidingFromDD · 21/12/2021 21:17

I'd think I'd 'sadly' have a positive lat flow and not see any of them for 10 days tbh

FairFuming · 21/12/2021 21:17

This plan is nuts

lisaandalan · 21/12/2021 21:18

Why are you bothering, drop the the presents off before Christmas and just go to the house you are invited to for dinner, or cook your own dinner. X

speakout · 21/12/2021 21:19

Just let people know you will be drinking gin and re-jewelling your Merkin that day, so quite unavailable.

maffhew · 21/12/2021 21:20

You're being ridiculous. You're choosing to go along with a day that you won't enjoy. It's you're choice.

Toughen up and say no.

nettie434 · 21/12/2021 21:22

I know you say that there would be a massive fallout if you didn't go but it is unreasonable of all 3 households not to retime things so you could at least have lunch.

Even if you don't agree with the scientific advice, you could use it to your advantage and say that you are worried about mixing with so many different people, especially with the additional risks for the terminally ill person.

It's completely unreasonable to not adjust timings when people are travelling, especially when they are expected to travel between places. You only really need to prioritise the visit to the terminally ill person. The others can wait. If they can't change their timings for Christmas Day, they can't then argue that their day will be spoilt if you don't visit.

Anycrispsleft · 21/12/2021 21:22

[quote DameCelia]@WillyWonkster what a shame that you'll both wake up with covid symptoms on 25th and have to isolate until the PCR centre opens[/quote]
Genius!

rrhuth · 21/12/2021 21:23

@WillyWonkster

We have put our foot down and told them all what we are going to be doing and our timings. If they leave us on the doorstep/kick off because we’re leaving before they want us to then fuck em.
I think you do right.

You need to take a look at your OP from the outside perspective - what you posted was no way to live.

Bushkin · 21/12/2021 21:23

Fuck that, fake a positive lateral flow and stay home

Wrongkindofovercoat · 21/12/2021 21:24

Tell them you have to work at short notice and then send them a photo of some cheese and wine Wink

MargosKaftan · 21/12/2021 21:25

OP - its expected and your "duty" because they know you'll do it if they tell you too, but they wouldn't travel to you.

So family 1 - yours, you aren't invited to Christmas lunch and you can't get to where you are invited for Christmas lunch if you spend the morning with them first, so you tell them you can't be with them in the morning as you have to go to family 2 for lunch. You are free on Christmas eve, would they like to see you then? Leisurely drive to family 2 and eat with them. Family 3, if you can fit in seeing them after lunch, great, if not, are they free boxing day?

They are telling you what they are available for and how little they are prepared to host you. So do the same, you are available for x time slots, if that doesn't work,you'll spend the day at home /with one of the other households. If they really "need" to see you, they'll fit round when you are free.

TatianaBis · 21/12/2021 21:25

This is your own mess OP.

Don’t twat about with fake tests, just announce you’re not doing any of it and stay home.

SimpsonsXmasBoogie · 21/12/2021 21:26

Not going isn’t an option, the fall out would be huge.

So? Have a huge fallout. They sound like selfish twats anyway, so who cares if they get annoyed. If your lucky it will mean you don't get invited round anymore Grin

BungleandGeorge · 21/12/2021 21:27

You need to be at relative 2s house at the time you’ve been invited for lunch, you can’t really expect them to change. Then work the rest of your day around that. Leave relative 1 in time to get to lunch.

Benjispruce5 · 21/12/2021 21:32

Just stay at home in future.

Benjispruce5 · 21/12/2021 21:33

Don’t see how grown adults can fall out with you because you choose to stay in your own home at Christmas instead of driving around the country.

DueyCheatemAndHow · 21/12/2021 21:35

I'm genuinely amazed that anyone would consider this

DisforDarkChocolate · 21/12/2021 21:37

It sounds like the huge fall out would be worth it.

Why are you letting people treat you like this?

ShinyHappyPoster · 21/12/2021 21:40

Does your DH agree with your view that the only nice ones in all this are your family? Hmm
I think the fact that one of the households has someone who is terminally ill is quite a drip feed tbh. They could have valid reasons for restricting timings because of Covid risk.
Would I eat a sandwich in a service station if it meant I could see someone on their last Christmas? Yeah, I would. I'd have Christmas dinner on a different day.

flowersforbrains · 21/12/2021 21:46

Where is the fun in that?

I'd staying at home eating my own roast dinner in the comfort of my own home. Why wouldn't you?

There are a few of these threads. I never realised there were so many martyrs out there.

PufferFishGoneWrong · 21/12/2021 21:46

Fuck that shit. It's just the 4 of us since MIL died.
I would not be putting up with that shit!!! Absolutely not!!!!

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