I will be spending Christmas running around like a headless chicken and eating sandwiches on the side of the road. Great.

[WillyWonkster]

I’m dreading Christmas. My DH and I have 3 sets of ‘households’ to visit and so are having to carefully time our day.
All 3 sets of people are being bloody difficult, they have their own plans (which overlap) and they aren’t budging. 2 of them are renowned for being 2-3 hours late to things too, so I just know if we do come up with a plan it will be left in tatters. And I’ll then be called ‘uptight’.

When we suggest they move things forward or back 30 mins to give us more time to dash across the county we’re met with pursed lips and accusations that we ‘don’t care enough’ and ‘we’re being selfish’. Not going isn’t an option, the fall out would be huge.

Currently we won’t make it in time for Christmas lunch ‘at 3pm prompt’ at household 2 but will they move lunch half an hour, hell will they. So they are happy for us to leave household 1, grab a sandwich from a petrol station and sit in a forecourt for an hour or so before turning up ‘at a reasonable time’ to household 2 (I.e after they’ve eaten Christmas dinner). I should add we can’t have Christmas dinner at household 1 because we’re not bloody invited! They are literally kicking us out!
Just fuck off all of you!!!!!!!!!!
Rant over, needed to get that off my chest.

Why.

I mean, what would you said to yourself as a neutral observer on the internet (for example ;)) tearing yourselves in pieces and not even being kind enough to give yourselves a decent Christmas lunch trying to please people who are clearly not interested in reciprocating.

Just say NO.

And if you’re afraid of reactions, then wake up coughing. Their world won’t fall jn and yours might be a lot better.

I wouldn't do it because of covid. Mixing with so many households on one day.

Meh, you're choosing to do this so you'll just have to make the most of it. Hope the rant has made you feel better about your choices.

Ridiculous, why are you putting yourselves through it?

You need to stay at home, and do separate visits, with more space between them to reduce the chance of everyone being frazzled.

As there's no change of rescheduling it for this year, then even though I rigidly disapprove of this, I think you need a pretext not to travel. Covid test would probably be the obvious and unarguable one, but I wouldn't want to tempt fate. Has your car been acting up recently?

Why the hell are you doing this? I’d be raving to have no Xmas lunch. A sandwich at a petrol station is ridiculous.

Ditch then both I’d say.

(I know this is harsh but… they’ll also be terminally ill on Christmas Eve or (hopefully, iyswim) Boxing Day. Go and have some precious nice time with them.

Go and visit ill relative on Boxing Day. Don't go to other relative. This is insanity!

We have put our foot down and told them all what we are going to be doing and our timings. If they leave us on the doorstep/kick off because we’re leaving before they want us to then fuck em.

You chose to do this.

You are being a Martyr
Do not go - enjoy your day at home

Why in fuck's name are you doing all of this?! It's beyond insane! You are being complete mugs. These people have made it crystal clear that they don't give a shit about you, so stop giving a shit about them and what they think. Why do they have your nuts in a vice? Do they provide all your childcare or something? If not, fuck them. They'll pitch a tantrum if you put your foot down, yes, but they'll actually garner some respect for you too, because right now they're treating you like a doormat and you're enabling it.

Well I’m sorry
But more fucking fool you
Not in a million years would I do this
Have you no self respect?
You can say no
This is your choice to do this ,
So more fool you

I'm sorry but you're enabling it by pandering to them! Missing Christmas dinner because no one is willing to be half an hour flexible is ridiculous just tell them they are either flexible or you're not coming, their choice

Just stop and deal with the fallout.

DH and I once drove 200 miles between Christmas lunch in one household and Christmas dinner in another. We decided that year, never again.

If you must, suck it up this year, but vow to just have your own Christmas next year.

Why in the name of all the saints are you putting yourself through this. Simply state that you are not doing all of this running about eating garage food between visits and you are staying at home this year. Stop being such doormats. Fuck them.

Don't go to the selfish bastards who won't feed you or the second lot who are willing to see you hang about an hour. If they really wanted to see you they would be more accommodating. What about house 3

Leave household 1 half an hour earlier (presumably they can't actually lock you in). Tell household 2 you'll be there at 3pm, turn up at 3:30 saying traffic was terrible. Eat slightly cold turkey. Perfect your thickest possible skins.

What? So you give up your Xmas day and lunch so you can visit household 1 who don’t want give you lunch and then household 2 don’t want wait and have meal later. Sod that why should your day be miserable? Have some self respect and visit on another day.

Suck it up for the terminally ill visit. Then go home and enjoy your Christmas.

Visit the ones who are terminally ill then go home and enjoy a festive day. You're current proposal is madness!

Sorry, slow typing and I hadn't seen the update about the terminal illness.

That puts rather a different slant on it. And depending on what's up, is moving between different households a good idea if that person is vulnerable? Can you just cancel/reschedule the others and take the fall out? I know that can cast a long shadow, but for the sake of a last Christmas with someone it might be worth it

Telling others that you have some non-negotiable timings sounds like a good start

Assume you are adults? How on earth have you got yourself into this situation?

They're not all that fussed about upsetting you are they?

What fall out?? People are going to be annoyed that you don't want to not have an Xmas lunch?? These people wouldn't be worth knowing.

So so dumb.