I will be spending Christmas running around like a headless chicken and eating sandwiches on the side of the road. Great.

[WillyWonkster]

I’m dreading Christmas. My DH and I have 3 sets of ‘households’ to visit and so are having to carefully time our day.
All 3 sets of people are being bloody difficult, they have their own plans (which overlap) and they aren’t budging. 2 of them are renowned for being 2-3 hours late to things too, so I just know if we do come up with a plan it will be left in tatters. And I’ll then be called ‘uptight’.

When we suggest they move things forward or back 30 mins to give us more time to dash across the county we’re met with pursed lips and accusations that we ‘don’t care enough’ and ‘we’re being selfish’. Not going isn’t an option, the fall out would be huge.

Currently we won’t make it in time for Christmas lunch ‘at 3pm prompt’ at household 2 but will they move lunch half an hour, hell will they. So they are happy for us to leave household 1, grab a sandwich from a petrol station and sit in a forecourt for an hour or so before turning up ‘at a reasonable time’ to household 2 (I.e after they’ve eaten Christmas dinner). I should add we can’t have Christmas dinner at household 1 because we’re not bloody invited! They are literally kicking us out!
Just fuck off all of you!!!!!!!!!!
Rant over, needed to get that off my chest.

YANU op because frankly, you don’t need to live your life like this.

These people don’t care about seeing you enough to shift dinner by half an hour.

With that in mind, why would you run around after them?

I understand wanting to see people and spend time with the people you love on Christmas and sometimes this gets a bit busy and chaotic but really, these people don’t care enough about you to ensure you get fed and looked after - so why are you martyring yourself

@WillyWonkster

I just said that to DH, we’re doing a lateral flow test on Christmas Eve and I’m praying it’s positive!

Just putting this here: www.bbc.com/future/article/20210705-how-children-are-spoofing-covid-19-tests-with-soft-drinks

ThisIsJeopardy

"Thanks for asking us to swing by, but if we did we actually wouldn't have a chance to have our own Christmas dinner. So we'll be at home for the day, but let's plan a visit between Christmas and New Year "

This is the way to go. You can do this and you will feel sooo much better as soon as you say it!

@Lotusmonster

Lost count of the number of “f*cks” on this thread….how festive. 😕

We swear on this site. Fucking deal with it.

@SpamIAm

Yeah I'm voting for just accept the fallout. Two households who'd happily see you without Christmas dinner? They don't care about you so fuck em.

drink some froot shoot right before

Why on earth are you tolerating them treating you like shit and expecting you to not eat properly on Xmas Day? Just say no, stay at home. If they're going to get upset whatever you, why worry about the fallout?

quoted wrong comment ffs! meant to quote OPs LF test comment haha

Give your head a wobble. You’re being ridiculous. See the terminally ill person on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day, and see the people you like on Christmas Day. Stop being a martyr, stand up for yourself and set some bloody boundaries.

Another bloody martyr. Jesus Christ, where is your backbone? You've no right at all to moan, you've allowed the situation.

@WillyWonkster

We have put our foot down and told them all what we are going to be doing and our timings. If they leave us on the doorstep/kick off because we’re leaving before they want us to then fuck em.

This is a fab start, can you now push one of them back to another time?

“We’d love to see you when it isn’t so rushed?”

Keep going. Setting boundaries is easier the more you do it. I’ve been there and still am sometimes!

@TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet

Give your head a wobble. You’re being ridiculous. See the terminally ill person on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day, and see the people you like on Christmas Day. Stop being a martyr, stand up for yourself and set some bloody boundaries.

I literally was about to post this, beaten by 1minute!

Running around like headless chickens, visiting people who hardly want you there is not quality time. It's not time well spent for anyone.

I would suggest one set is prioritised, the person who is terminally ill may or may not be that person, and if not I'd be trying to see them either side of Xmas.

Sitting eating a sandwich in a petrol station is quite frankly no way to leave after the last 18 months we've all collectively had. If nothing, it's taught us how short & fragile life is. Really it's to fragile to be doing this at Christmas

Oh FFS, we used to do this with just 2 households, 70 miles apart. Then we realised we were being ridiculous and stopped doing it.

I also won’t stay over at my in laws anymore since the don’t have a spare bed and bringing my own camping stuff to sleep on the floor stopped being fun/silky/quirky about 20 years ago. (They don’t have a spare bed because “no one ever visits”, well d’oh. And no,It’s not a cost thing, they are openly better off than they’ll ever need to be). Since they live 4 hours away, and won’t visit us because we live 10 miles away from a long-standing Covid hotspot, it means that I havn’t seen them for ages. I don’t dislike them, but I do dislike sleeping on the floor.

Being a grinch by saying this is your own doing op.
How you even got to agreeing to visit 3 households is beyond me and actually pretty silly given covid atm.
Visit the person for whom it may be their last Christmas, then go home and rest , visit the others maybe Boxing Day and new year?

Fuck that!!

Fuck that. Don’t go.

@WillyWonkster

I just said that to DH, we’re doing a lateral flow test on Christmas Eve and I’m praying it’s positive!

Even if it isn't, say it is.

Honestly - you don't need this stress.

Why bother? Just cancel the lot of them and have a lovely time at home. Facetime them for 20 min, job done. I've no idea why people do what you are attempting to do, it isn't enjoyable and christmas is just 1 day, see them another time when you aren't in a rush.

Stay at home. Fuck the fallout.

Or suck up the sandwich if you don't want to stand up for yourself.

Or visit the day before or after when it's a bit more chilled.

"unfortunately we have a positive result, see you in the new year"

Stop being a martyr and people will stop taking the piss.

Why can’t you space them out between Christmas Eve and 28th? You can then spend quality time at each house rather than rushing everywhere…

@WillyWonkster

I just said that to DH, we’re doing a lateral flow test on Christmas Eve and I’m praying it’s positive!

If you don't want to lie about it, I would go to a nightclub tonight. Maybe snog a few randoms.

I just don't understand I really don't.

Just get a shop in and stay at home. See the person who is ill in before new year and just stop running round eating sandwiches, unless you actually want to of course.

If you lie down like a doormat then people will wipe their feet on you.

Sorry op but it's hard to have much sympathy when you're voluntarily doing this to yourself.

Just say no, spend Xmas day at home and arrange visits for other times.

Have you heard this saying?

Don't cross oceans for someone who wouldn't jump a puddle for you.

These people are doing what they want, comfortable in their own homes, unwilling to be slightly flexible or hospitable whilst you dash around.

@WillyWonkster

I just said that to DH, we’re doing a lateral flow test on Christmas Eve and I’m praying it’s positive!

Just say it's positive and enjoy your snug Xmas at home.