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Original poster

I will be spending Christmas running around like a headless chicken and eating sandwiches on the side of the road. Great.

273 replies

WillyWonkster · 21/12/2021 20:01

I’m dreading Christmas. My DH and I have 3 sets of ‘households’ to visit and so are having to carefully time our day.
All 3 sets of people are being bloody difficult, they have their own plans (which overlap) and they aren’t budging. 2 of them are renowned for being 2-3 hours late to things too, so I just know if we do come up with a plan it will be left in tatters. And I’ll then be called ‘uptight’.

When we suggest they move things forward or back 30 mins to give us more time to dash across the county we’re met with pursed lips and accusations that we ‘don’t care enough’ and ‘we’re being selfish’. Not going isn’t an option, the fall out would be huge.

Currently we won’t make it in time for Christmas lunch ‘at 3pm prompt’ at household 2 but will they move lunch half an hour, hell will they. So they are happy for us to leave household 1, grab a sandwich from a petrol station and sit in a forecourt for an hour or so before turning up ‘at a reasonable time’ to household 2 (I.e after they’ve eaten Christmas dinner). I should add we can’t have Christmas dinner at household 1 because we’re not bloody invited! They are literally kicking us out!
Just fuck off all of you!!!!!!!!!!
Rant over, needed to get that off my chest.

OP posts:
TheLadyofChristmasPast · 21/12/2021 20:15

Is this for real?

So, these people are so important that you MUST visit them of Christmas Day. But none of them think you’re important enough to ensure you have some dinner?

Why would you allow this to happen?

Just say no…what’s the worse that could happen? (You might enjoy your own Christmas and have a lovely dinner).

Blue4YOU · 21/12/2021 20:15

Op - I’m used to stupid people in families.
Here are some suggestions:

  1. tell most of them to fuck off and go to one of them
  2. go to house 1 on Christmas Eve afternoon. Go to house 2 for dinner. If you can - house 3.
  3. Don’t go to house 1 until Boxing Day. Do 2 and 3 on Christmas Day.
  4. do none of them and bloody enjoy yourself.
Mamette · 21/12/2021 20:16

one of whom is terminally ill so last chance to see them at Christmas etc etc

You can see them on Boxing Day or some other day.

Are you enjoying the martyrdom a tiny bit? I can’t think of any other reason why you would agree to this? It’s your duty? Sorry mum/ dad/ whoever, if you can’t accommodate a change of time we can’t make it. The end.

TheRedTowel · 21/12/2021 20:16

Fuck this shit.

Being terminally ill doesn't mean you get to be an arsehole.

Put your dressing gown and slippers on and stay at home on Xmas day with a bottle of Baileys

Icantremembermyusername · 21/12/2021 20:17

Watch 4 Christmases. Decide on 1 and enjoy :-)

thedefinitionofmadness · 21/12/2021 20:17

There are 12 days of christmas shrugs

Trixiethewhore · 21/12/2021 20:18

Fuck that. Stay home. Tell them they're welcome to pop in for an hour, but you won't be leaving the house.

You're mental for even considering this.

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 21/12/2021 20:18

It's hard, especially when one is terminally I'll 😢

I'd do your parents in the morning then one other in the afternoon, third on Boxing Day if you must.

Sometimes it's just about keeping family happy & having your 'own' Christmas another Day. It's easier to be less resentful.

But next year, decide what you want to do & let them know early on what you'll. he doing & NOT doing.

StEval · 21/12/2021 20:18

@WillyWonkster

I just said that to DH, we’re doing a lateral flow test on Christmas Eve and I’m praying it’s positive!
Just say no you arent coming.
SuPerDoPer · 21/12/2021 20:19

You say you don't have a choice but you do. I don't feel sorry for you, you seem to enjoy the drama.

UnderTheMoonlightWeDanced · 21/12/2021 20:21

Sorry just no. I read threads on here all the time and honestly don’t understand why people don’t just say no. “Hiya unfortunately as dinner can’t be moved by half an hour we would end up eating a sandwich at a garage as I’m sure you completely agree we can’t do this on Christmas Day so we will see you in the days after. Have a lovely Christmas Day”

Embracelife · 21/12/2021 20:21

You are choosing a bonkers schedule
One lot Xmas day including dinner
One set for boxing day
Another the day after on the bonus bank holiday

Embracelife · 21/12/2021 20:21

Split them over three days

RedBonnet · 21/12/2021 20:21

Hmm, this is what boxing day is for. Or even new year's day.

For me, xmas starts Dec 24th and ends Jan 2nd. So all the days between count as xmas.

I never travel on xmas day so if nobody comes to me I spend the day alone, which suits me just the same. I don't demand or expect my dc to visit. But I do see them at some point in the week.

So yeah, visit the ones with food on xmas day and the others on boxing day

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/12/2021 20:23

You are choosing this.

You can equally choose not to.

Aposterhasnoname · 21/12/2021 20:29

Perhaps I’m missing something, but surely the answer is to leave house 1 half an hour earlier to get to house 2 in time for lunch? Unless house 1 are literally going to lock you in?

doadeer · 21/12/2021 20:32

Why would you do this? Sounds awful

LargeYorkshirePuddingAndGravy · 21/12/2021 20:32

Not going would 100% be an option for me. I don't care about the fallout. Why do people do this to themselves?

80Dodgeballs · 21/12/2021 20:32

I'd be staying home and meeting up another day.

Why put yourself through all the stress if they won't put themselves out for you by adjusting times etc?

TheABC · 21/12/2021 20:33

You have ample time between Christmas Eve and New Year - Christmas is more than one day. Pick one household per day and be done with it.

AngelinaFibres · 21/12/2021 20:34

My dad had a radio programme .He used to deal with psychological issues. In December he would do several phone in programmes about Christmas problems. One of the things he said has stuck with me for years . Basically by the time it gets to December any drastic changes are probably just too late for this year without causing huge rifts. So the thing to do is to tell your family by the following August , at the very latest , what your plans are for Christmas that year. It gives them 5 months to have a crisis about it and then get over it so relationships are friendly by the time the festivities start.They have time to plan alternative arrangements for themselves. The most important thing for you to do is to stick to whatever you have decided really works for you and not waver in the face of manipulation, blackmail and weirdness

TheCreamCaker · 21/12/2021 20:34

Fuck that for a game of soldiers! I'd be inclined to say you're staying in your own house that day, and if anyone wants to visit, they can do it on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day, and if that causes anyone to sulk or be annoyed, too bad

godmum56 · 21/12/2021 20:35

just exactly why are you doing this? Have you been bad and must be punished?

CharityDingle · 21/12/2021 20:36

@UnderTheMoonlightWeDanced

Sorry just no. I read threads on here all the time and honestly don’t understand why people don’t just say no. “Hiya unfortunately as dinner can’t be moved by half an hour we would end up eating a sandwich at a garage as I’m sure you completely agree we can’t do this on Christmas Day so we will see you in the days after. Have a lovely Christmas Day”
Exactly. The martyrdom is off the charts this year, more than ever.
RepentBirthingPersonFucker · 21/12/2021 20:37

More fool you. I wouldn't be pulling that shit for anyone. Even if you are religious Christmas day is not when Christ was born. Go on different days and stop pandering

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