I will be spending Christmas running around like a headless chicken and eating sandwiches on the side of the road. Great.

[WillyWonkster]

I’m dreading Christmas. My DH and I have 3 sets of ‘households’ to visit and so are having to carefully time our day.
All 3 sets of people are being bloody difficult, they have their own plans (which overlap) and they aren’t budging. 2 of them are renowned for being 2-3 hours late to things too, so I just know if we do come up with a plan it will be left in tatters. And I’ll then be called ‘uptight’.

When we suggest they move things forward or back 30 mins to give us more time to dash across the county we’re met with pursed lips and accusations that we ‘don’t care enough’ and ‘we’re being selfish’. Not going isn’t an option, the fall out would be huge.

Currently we won’t make it in time for Christmas lunch ‘at 3pm prompt’ at household 2 but will they move lunch half an hour, hell will they. So they are happy for us to leave household 1, grab a sandwich from a petrol station and sit in a forecourt for an hour or so before turning up ‘at a reasonable time’ to household 2 (I.e after they’ve eaten Christmas dinner). I should add we can’t have Christmas dinner at household 1 because we’re not bloody invited! They are literally kicking us out!
Just fuck off all of you!!!!!!!!!!
Rant over, needed to get that off my chest.

This is easily solved if you are actually going through with it(personally I wouldn't be). Flying early visit to household 1. Leave in time to get to lunch at household 2. Eat lunch. Leave. Visit household 3. Anyone who makes rude comments about lack of effort not staying long enough, rolls eyes, etc can fuck off. Next year do nor agree to do this and stay at home.

@Vanillaradio

This is easily solved if you are actually going through with it(personally I wouldn't be). Flying early visit to household 1. Leave in time to get to lunch at household 2. Eat lunch. Leave. Visit household 3. Anyone who makes rude comments about lack of effort not staying long enough, rolls eyes, etc can fuck off. Next year do nor agree to do this and stay at home.

Don't wait until next year to refuse to do it.

@WillyWonkster

I just said that to DH, we’re doing a lateral flow test on Christmas Eve and I’m praying it’s positive!

Fruit shoot

This is crazy. Why are you complaining when you agreed to do it? Surely you are both fully grown adults who can do what they want on Christmas Day…

Fuck that noise.

What’s that a positive LFT? Shame, home for Christmas it is then.

If they haven’t invited you / are not budging on the meal time for you why on earth are you going to run around like headless chickens for them? Utter madness.

Wow.
No-one is holding a gun to your head.

Pick the best visit, just go there.

Let the fallout happen.

What are they going through do? Moan? So what. Make you feel guilty? Fuck them, they're arseholes.

Why oh why.

If you choose to do something as stupid as this, hell mend you.

Bloody insane. Yoy'rw an adult - just grow up and take control of your own life.

Don't be a martyr. Sack it all off. Go and buy stuff for your Christmas meal. On the day text them all and say you had an ambiguous test and have to stay home and you'll see them in the new year, and then relax and enjoy the day.

It really is rather a risk though seeing all the different families in one day?
If they are as up tight and rigid as you say... Then I can't imagine they will even want you??

Just don’t do it… simples

Do martyrs realise that nobody likes or respects them for it?

We have a family friend who seems to get off on making her life as unnecessarily hard as possible. She was widowed young. One year she had a heart attack, and that Christmas her twat relatives still insisted that she host about 15 people in her one-bedroom flat. Everyone else had an excuse as to why they couldn't do it and also as to why it had to be that many people, on Christmas Day. And the silly woman, whom I love dearly, actually fucking did it. I exploded when I found out but it's not my family so I couldn't do anything about it.

Was her prize to be appreciated and have everyone think she was a wonderful person? Was it fuck.

Screw the lot of them. They have nice cosy at-home time while you're expected to be the accommodating nomads.

Personally I'd be hitting the supermarket to get in the supplies for a crimbo at home and telling them you don't feel up to the grand tour on a day when you'd like to be comfortable too. Arrange a proper visit to each set after new year, if it's allowed. There'll be flounces. But you WON'T ENJOY CHRISTMAS their way.

I LOVE and will be stealing this phrase!

Seriously OP you don’t have to. Madness any time but plain bonkers in covid time.

Go and have lunch if you want to.
The others see another day.

@JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon

Why are so many people advising the OP to lie and deceive rather than to just grow the fuck up and say no?

If she lies and blames Covid she'll be in the same position next year or at Easter or whenever.

Because she’s not going to from pathetic doormat to strong assertive woman with healthy boundaries in one day.

She can, she just needs to be brave. Pull the plaster off quickly rather than lying, sneaking and feeling deceitful. She will feel better by throwing off the guilt and being honest.

I'd be saying the LFT were positive even if they weren't, get prepped tomorrow for a day at home. I wouldn't feel guilty for lying because they obviously don't care about your feelings. Instead of a day of stress you can do whatever you want allllll day long.

Oh OP I feel for you, I normally have to travel between in-laws in the far South-East and my parents in Devon. Added complication that Xmas day is DS's birthday so everyone wants to see him.

This is exactly why this year I have taken a cottage on a cliff by the sea. Christmas Day will be spent with me, DH and the kids by ourselves with no expectations whatsoever. Can thoroughly recommend, it's much easier to just say "no, we are on holiday, we will see you on the 29th or 30th"

Bloody hell how mad.

I would be stopping 10 minute at each then going home for lunch.
What fuckers they are. Any grief from
Them now tell them to bog off

Love, why are you doing this to yourselves?

Just say no.

@WillyWonkster how did it go? Did you get a meal or a meal deal?