How do I make it look like I have more presents than I do?

[FakingItForHer]

Single parent to a 7yo DD.

ExH never takes DD shopping for presents for me, so I get nothing.

Mum has said she can’t afford anything for me, has bought DD a small something.

My brother doesn’t buy for anyone.

My granddad has given me some money to get myself a present so I’ve bought myself a Fire Stick (I wanted one) and a posh box of chocolates, these are wrapped up under my granddads tree as I’ll go to his house for lunch.

My dad has got me a couple of small bits. And I have a stocking which has some smarties and a bath bomb so far.

But that’s it.

My best friend and I do Christmas 2.0 on New Years Eve and she will spoil me and DD but it’s our tradition which we love after a busy family Christmas (and I always look forward to it as does BF so can’t change it).

My extended family (aunts, uncles etc) only buy for children so I only buy for theirs so no presents there.

So it looks like I might have nothing much to open. I obviously want to show DD that we don’t give to receive but she is going to be heartbroken to think I get very little at Christmas.

So basically I want to fake it. Because I’m not bothered about the presents really as long as DD has a lovely time and goes to her dads (2pm Christmas Day) happy and oblivious. I much prefer seeing the magic for DD and enjoying the day with my family, but DD loves giving presents and will want me to be happy she always says I'm the best mum in the world and I should be very very very happy and she doesn't like me sad

So suggestions to fake Christmas?

Could you wrap up stuff you already have? At 7 I doubt she will realise.

Why would she see you sad? You've got 4 things to open. I think you are making a big deal out of something that doesn't need to be?

Could you go to somewhere like B and M or the Range and give your DD some money for her to buy you a present - you could wait outside so as not to spoil the surprise. Or could you give your mum or a friend some money to take your DD shopping for a present for you?

You could wrap yourself a tin of Quality Street or whatever that you’d buy anyway and general toiletries. Or buy yourself some cheap, fluffy pyjamas from Primark, which will be a bit bulky or a hat, scarf and gloves.

@MalbecandToast

Why would she see you sad? You've got 4 things to open. I think you are making a big deal out of something that doesn't need to be?

I will only have 2 things to open with DD as she goes to her dads then I go to my granddads.

Last year she refused to go to her dads until I'd opened more presents, I only had 2 last year as well (one from each parent then).

Get a bigger gift box, put the smaller bits from your dad inside with lovely tissue paper and tie box up with nice bow

Buy yourself some lovely snacks to add to stocking.

Maybe a family size box of shortbread biscuits you and daughter can share watching films over Christmas.

I doubt she will notice much else. For us as adults we only really give one main gift and stocking anyway.

I’m sure your house will be lovely and Christmasy anyway with a tree, Christmas music, and make some homemade snowflake or paper garlands together.

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Could you go to somewhere like B and M or the Range and give your DD some money for her to buy you a present - you could wait outside so as not to spoil the surprise. Or could you give your mum or a friend some money to take your DD shopping for a present for you?

DD won't shop alone and for reasons I can't go into my mum won't take her, my best friend will take her off on New Years Eve and get her to choose a few presents but thats after Christmas. Best friend lives too far away to do it beforehand.

I'm not bothered by the actual gifts, I just want to make it look like I have more than I do for DDs sake.

But two presents is fine for an adult? Instead of all this hand-wringing maybe just explain to her that christmas is not about presents for adults and that you absolutely don't need any so she doesn't need to worry? She will only react in response to your reaction OP so you can sort this quite easily.

Could you buy yourself a nice bath set off Santa and put it out with her gifts.
Or bring your Grandad's gifts home to open on the morning.

How have you only got two presents when you say you have a fire stick, chocolates, “a couple of small bits “ from your dad, and a stocking. That’s at least five.

But anyway, either buy yourself some cheap crap from the charity shop, or pound store, or wrap up stuff you already have, easy.

My DH and I dont spend money on ourselves at Xmas as it’s expensive enough being Santa for the kids - so we do small stockings filled with things we would be getting in for Xmas anyway… chocolates, toiletries etc. That way it looks like we’ve got a stocking each full of wrapped presents but we’ve not spent additional money on it.

Could you give your mum £10 and ask her to take DD to the shop so she can choose you a couple of bits and help her wrap them?

She’s 7 , that’s quite old enough for her to understand that you will get your presents when you go to Grandads the same as she will get presents when she goes to her dads . Stop being ridiculous .

Could you afford to treat yourself to a few gifts from yourself. I am not in your situation but I did this last year and it was lovely. I got exactly what I wanted! 😄
Doesn’t need to cost a lot - a book from 2nd hand bookshop, some nice chocolate, a hand cream? If you can afford a bit more, a snuggly robe from M&S - not crazy expensive but looks like a ‘big’ gift when wrapped.
Apologies if I’ve missed the mark and this isn’t financially possible, but it’s absolutely ok to gift things to yourself if you can.

I only get a few bits as DH and I just give a token.

I think it’s pretty normal. Is it possible you’re projecting your feelings about your presents onto your daughter? Can you explain to her that adults generally don’t get lots of things?

Could your DD make you a little something with your help, eg bake some biscuits? I don’t see the point of trying to fake having received more than you did.

@Aposterhasnoname

How have you only got two presents when you say you have a fire stick, chocolates, “a couple of small bits “ from your dad, and a stocking. That’s at least five.

But anyway, either buy yourself some cheap crap from the charity shop, or pound store, or wrap up stuff you already have, easy.

2 under the tree to open from others, the ones at my granddads she won't see me open because she goes to her dads then I go to my granddads.

Stockings are from Santa in our house.

Surely most adults don’t have loads of presents to open at Christmas. I think you are making a problem out of nothing! Just tell her that adults don’t tend to get loads of presents and sometimes presents don’t look like much but they cost a lot of money.

She isn't a baby, if she asks why you have less presents just tell her.

Would your dad take dd shopping?

Or when my dd felt similar I'd take her to the poundshop, give her a budget and "not look" at whatever she put in the basket for me. Check out staff will usually play along and bag it with a brief explanation. Or for more expensive things "DD I'd really like some perfume could you pick between x and y whilst I don't turn around then we'll take it to pay for and I won't look".

Luckily her school now do a school Xmas shop where she can pick something for £1.50, bring it home and wrap.

Could you go to Primark and buy something Christmassy for yourself? Like socks, or nail vanish or pj I think when things look festive and sparkly it makes a big difference. I don’t think my DD would be excited for anyone to receive a black wool jumper however expensive it might be.

Could you suggest opening her gifts together? Or wrapping up bits you already own? Or could you take her to a pound shop with a fiver / ten pounds to choose a gift for you?

Hubby and I don't buy ourselves gifts (and we dont recieve any from family either) so it's only ever the kids presents under the tree. If they ask we say we didn't want a present could that be another option?

Give DD some money and take her shopping to buy you a present. She can enjoy choosing it , and even if you do spot what she’s getting you, you don’t let on and you can pretend that it is a surprise on the day.

I literally never have more than a couple of things to open neither does DH. I don't have any brothers or sisters or cousins or grandparents, only one parents still alive and she lives abroad. Christmas is not about adults getting presents it's about children. I don't see what the big deal is to be honest?

I think you're over thinking. I get no presents. I've told the kids Xmas is for children, they're happy enough with that. What put such pressure on it?

I think if she’s sad for you to “only” have 2 presents then she’s learnt from somewhere that presents are the be all and end all. Stop putting so much importance on presents.
She’s 7, she will be able to grasp the concept that not everyone is rich and can afford to buy lots and lots of presents.