How do I make it look like I have more presents than I do?

[FakingItForHer]

Single parent to a 7yo DD.

ExH never takes DD shopping for presents for me, so I get nothing.

Mum has said she can’t afford anything for me, has bought DD a small something.

My brother doesn’t buy for anyone.

My granddad has given me some money to get myself a present so I’ve bought myself a Fire Stick (I wanted one) and a posh box of chocolates, these are wrapped up under my granddads tree as I’ll go to his house for lunch.

My dad has got me a couple of small bits. And I have a stocking which has some smarties and a bath bomb so far.

But that’s it.

My best friend and I do Christmas 2.0 on New Years Eve and she will spoil me and DD but it’s our tradition which we love after a busy family Christmas (and I always look forward to it as does BF so can’t change it).

My extended family (aunts, uncles etc) only buy for children so I only buy for theirs so no presents there.

So it looks like I might have nothing much to open. I obviously want to show DD that we don’t give to receive but she is going to be heartbroken to think I get very little at Christmas.

So basically I want to fake it. Because I’m not bothered about the presents really as long as DD has a lovely time and goes to her dads (2pm Christmas Day) happy and oblivious. I much prefer seeing the magic for DD and enjoying the day with my family, but DD loves giving presents and will want me to be happy she always says I'm the best mum in the world and I should be very very very happy and she doesn't like me sad

So suggestions to fake Christmas?

You are raising a materialistic child if she is truly this worried about the amount of gifts you get. How about teaching her that the joy of Christmas shouldn’t be about the volume of stuff you have to open?

I do feel you may be worrying over nothing, but I appreciate you want to avoid upsetting her. Boots have great 3 for 2 offers right now, why don't you treat yourself to some face masks or a bath bomb and wrap them up to put under your tree? Alternatively if you have bought yourself any alcohol for Christmas Day, wrap that up. Even if it's just your favourite chocolate. Lidl have loads of great treats in - they've even got cheap slippers I spotted the other day. Regardless if she queries it again, I'm sure she would understand that the day isn't about presents and that Santa would prefer you both to be happy and make memories together and with family and friends. You could even write a letter from Santa explaining this if she still believes.

Either buy yourself some stuff, wrap up stuff you already own or just say you don't need presents. Me and my husband won't have anything under the tree this year. We've booked concert tickets for the summer which is more than our usual Christmas budget so going to leave it as that this year. I don't think my kids will care as long as we show we don't care. They would be sad to think we are sad but we won't be sad!

Are you getting any cheeses or posh crisps or snacks for Christmas day that you could wrap up as gifts to yourself? Do you need anything like new socks or shampoo or conditioner? Or just anything you need to buy soonish? If it's just for the same of looking like having stuff to unwrap, do the above. Otherwise, get yourself some bloody nice presents!!!

Could you possibly go to Poundland and spend £10 ? Then you’ll have at least 12 presents! I get what your saying op xx

@Wannakisstheteacher

You are raising a materialistic child if she is truly this worried about the amount of gifts you get. How about teaching her that the joy of Christmas shouldn’t be about the volume of stuff you have to open?

I don't agree exactly, wanting others to have presents too isn't necessarily materialistic - she might just want her mum to get nice things as she thinks everyone should get nice things at Christmas! I actually think it's nice for adult to get something in this situation as otherwise it's basically just like a birthday where just the one person gets presents. In my house this year we are basically wrapping up household stuff we need/want for me and DP. But the kids will like to see us all get something.

Cant imagine her even thinking twice about that? And tbh it sounds like you got a nice amount 🤷‍♀️

What is your DC's understanding of Santa vs friends and relatives buying presents for each other ? Just thinking that DH and I have always had far few presents than DS and it was never anything he questioned - although as a young DC he would have believed some of his presents came from Santa but understood that Santa only came to children . Santa aside though , surely it's by far the norm that children get more presents than adults .

Why not start a new tradition, where you and DD go shopping together and buy a present each to wrap and give on xmas day. Yes you'll know whats in it, but the outing to the shops, a cafe treat and enjoying each other's company will last and last in your memories.

She could easily make you a bookmark (or a set of bookmarks) and wrap it up and pop it under the tree

Wrap up some bits for yourself...nice toiletries, socks, earrings, nail varnish, chocolates, book, slippers. You could grab all of that from Tesco for £25-30. Keep the receipt and return it unopened if need be.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff I did that with my DC, we used to go to the pound shop together and they’d buy me something then gradually this progressed into them buying me and my DH a gift from some where else. We used to make an activity if it, normally on an insert day nearish to Christmas.
Or my DC would but something at the school fair.

Also next year, start a Christmas budget for yourself. Set aside £30. And have a little trip to Primark every December and enjoy! Everyone deserves to treat themselves…..

£2.50 a month for some Christmas 2022 joy! sounds so good I might do that for myself!!

This is a non issue

Are you over thinking? That's far more than I get (because we just don't do presents)

Just tell her that adults don't get much because it's not necessary. As long as you don't act disappointed that you've not got 'stuff', then she'll see it's ok. My husband and I are buying nothing for each other as it's just a waste of money. Our kids won't notice in the slightest.

I only get a couple of things and my kids don’t query it.

If you’re desperate and short of cash then someone put a sob story and request for presents (for adults) on our local fb page last year..

I agree with everyone else OP. If you’ve got a spare 20/30 quid then go to Primark or somewhere and grab some presents for yourself. If not, then wrap some stuff you already have up

You are sending the wrong message. It's as if you associate not getting many presents with feeling upset. If you don't show her that you are perfectly happy with how things are in reality

You could just explain a lot of adults don’t get presents from others.

I can’t remember the last time anyone except my husband bought me a Xmas present 😏

You are overthinking. In our family we don't buy for adults. DH and I don't buy each other gifts for Christmas. Only kids open presents. It's just normal for us

Pretend vouchers?

Surely Santa only leaves gifts for children anyway.
Can't imagine ever caring, but then we've always struggled at Christmas time so it's really the least of my worries. I don't mean to sound like an arse but I think your really overthinking it.

I know what you mean OP.

It's different when there are multiple children and/or adults in a house. When it's just the two of you it changes the dynamic a bit.

I would wrap a couple of things up (practical if you want to save money, like socks/shower gel) and pretend they are from your mum. I also like the idea of there being some "joint presents" like a tub of Roses, tin of biscuits, or maybe even some of DD's presents like a DVD you can watch together. Write "To FakingIt and DD, love from FakingIt".

Obviously she will know they are from you but you can have a bit of a giggle about it together and since you have fewer presents overall, it's something she can insist that you open and just means the present opening is a bit more balanced. She'll still have the bulk of the presents, which is fine.

maybe get some cookies/your favorite food and wrap that? Slightly nicer socks or other things you would need anyway and can justify the cost of?