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Christmas

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Original poster

How do I make it look like I have more presents than I do?

217 replies

FakingItForHer · 10/12/2021 14:38

Single parent to a 7yo DD.

ExH never takes DD shopping for presents for me, so I get nothing.

Mum has said she can’t afford anything for me, has bought DD a small something.

My brother doesn’t buy for anyone.

My granddad has given me some money to get myself a present so I’ve bought myself a Fire Stick (I wanted one) and a posh box of chocolates, these are wrapped up under my granddads tree as I’ll go to his house for lunch.

My dad has got me a couple of small bits. And I have a stocking which has some smarties and a bath bomb so far.

But that’s it.

My best friend and I do Christmas 2.0 on New Years Eve and she will spoil me and DD but it’s our tradition which we love after a busy family Christmas (and I always look forward to it as does BF so can’t change it).

My extended family (aunts, uncles etc) only buy for children so I only buy for theirs so no presents there.

So it looks like I might have nothing much to open. I obviously want to show DD that we don’t give to receive but she is going to be heartbroken to think I get very little at Christmas.

So basically I want to fake it. Because I’m not bothered about the presents really as long as DD has a lovely time and goes to her dads (2pm Christmas Day) happy and oblivious. I much prefer seeing the magic for DD and enjoying the day with my family, but DD loves giving presents and will want me to be happy she always says I'm the best mum in the world and I should be very very very happy and she doesn't like me sad

So suggestions to fake Christmas?

OP posts:
Angel2702 · 10/12/2021 15:00

I don’t think she will give it the same thoughts as we would. We don’t have money to buy each other any presents so the only present we have is the kids secret Santa gifts they buy at school. They never ask about other presents.

thedefinitionofmadness · 10/12/2021 15:01

Has she got something to give you?

I think that is more important. I would go with her and she chooses something (cheap) and then smuggles it away to wrap. It's ok. It doesn't need to be a surprise.

And add some foody bits and necessities (you must need socks or tights or shampoo) to your stocking.

HerbivorousRex · 10/12/2021 15:02

Could you give her a budget and let her choose a couple of things off of Amazon (or other online site!) that will arrive addressed to her and that she can wrap up for you.

You can pretend not to look at what they are when you finalize the order and fill in the details!

Or you could give her some craft materials and ask her to make you some presents. Maybe buy a couple of simple kits (jewelry making, paint an ornament etc) so it’s easy for her to do by herself

PinkSundae · 10/12/2021 15:03

Why don't you get her to make you an ornament/trinket box out of salt dough and paint it, or the handprint thing and wrap that? You could get her to paint you some artwork and frame and wrap, or you do that with a previously painted picture and say Santa framed it because you loved it so much. You could get a special picture of you two and a cheap frame and do the same, make cookies or cakes together the day before and pop in a box and wrap, or a candle or book you already have. Theres options Flowers

EvilRingahBitch · 10/12/2021 15:03

Explain to your DD that your father will give you presents when you get to his house...which is true, and he wants to see you open them just like you want to see DD open her presents. Get yourself a couple of nice second hand books/DVDs for your stocking (or something more if you can afford it).

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 10/12/2021 15:03

I think I will get 3 presents this year. One will be a £1 cadburys selection. My kids (teens) don't think that's odd and never did. I think it is probably because of how I react - or rather don't! I don't care about getting presents at my stage of life. I enjoy giving them and scoffing nice food and wine. I think if you act like this is all fine, your DD will not be gutted at all.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 10/12/2021 15:04

I'm not bothered by the actual gifts, I just want to make it look like I have more than I do for DDs sake.

Just buy yourself a load of stuff then, and put it under the tree from Santa

Piggy42 · 10/12/2021 15:04

I don’t understand the issue. Just wrap something you already own. Has dd got any friends that you know mum’s of? Could you give one of them £10 to take dd to the supermarket and let her choose something for you? I would be happy to do that for a friend.

Kitkat151 · 10/12/2021 15:07

I think you going about it the wrong way....I don’t think your daughter should have an expectation that Mummy should have lots of presents to open....sounds all wrong to me....where is she getting these ideas from?

Yika · 10/12/2021 15:08

I think it’s lovely that you and your DD have a sense of generosity, reciprocity and fairness between you!

I agree with giving your mum some money to take your dd shopping for you, or take her shopping yourself. I do exactly this, and give my daughter a few hints about what I’d like.

You could also buy a ‘family present’ for the two of you, like a puzzle or game, or box of chocolates. You can be the one to open it and you can both enjoy it.

You could also encourage your daughter to make something home made - a picture or craft.

luverlybubberly · 10/12/2021 15:08

Do you have any alcohol or edible bits that you would have bought for Christmas anyway ?

Sunnysideup999 · 10/12/2021 15:09

Just explain that adults don’t get as many presents as children … simple

dreamkitchenhelp · 10/12/2021 15:11

I understand where you are voming from you want to give her a magical Christmas. Wrap up some small gifts for you. Beautiful cookies, some nice toiletries, a book. Look in rhe local charity shop for a few bits. Write some hugs and kisses messages, you can both hide them round the house and when she finds them she has to run and give you a hug/kiss. Wrap up everything with tissue paper and ribbon.

thedefinitionofmadness · 10/12/2021 15:12

Ah the puritans are out in full force.

luverlybubberly · 10/12/2021 15:12

My kids always knew that adults get less because FC only visits kids. They've always said that when they are adults they will buy me gifts

Caspianberg · 10/12/2021 15:14

I think the way forward is helping her give you a gift, it will be similar each year surely.

Can you both make each other special Christmas card together. Put a box or cardboard halfway across the table as a jokey way of making sure you don’t see each other’s until Christmas. Both in envelopes sealed.
Could make each other bookmarks the same way from card.

And they do a baking session of making Christmas biscuits as ‘special gift’ for both of you. They can be wrapped up for you to both open together

It’s better to just manage expectations rather than her think it’s weird. I don’t think many adults get masses for Christmas, most a stocking and a couple of gifts max.

Passthecake30 · 10/12/2021 15:14

I think you’re overthinking it. My partner and I don’t exchange presents at all. We get a token gift for the kids to hand to us (chocolate) and then spend time taking photos/clearing rubbish. They are used to that, if you start something, you’ll have to continue?

Sunshineandflipflops · 10/12/2021 15:17

I am also a single parent and will only have one or two presents over the course of the day...possibly not even a single one under the tree in the morning as the dc are opening theirs - more likely later when we go to my parents house.

I think it's lovely that your dd want you to have more presents but I don't think there's any harm in letting her know that as you get older you don't tend to get so many presents and that not everyone gets them at all so you are very happy to get to spend the morning watching her open hers.

Sunshineandflipflops · 10/12/2021 15:21

And/or could you get her a game that can be for both of you to play together?

greenlynx · 10/12/2021 15:22

Also if your mum has some of your earlier photos ( you as a baby, at school etc) can she wrap them up for you? It might be nice

ThrobbingToothacheOfTheMind · 10/12/2021 15:23

@thedefinitionofmadness

Ah the puritans are out in full force.
Ah some people have different view points to you.
Hoppinggreen · 10/12/2021 15:23

Why would she be bothered about the amount of presents you get/don’t get
I think you are projecting

Cherrytart23 · 10/12/2021 15:24

My dd6 is the same last year she was upset that I only got 1 present I said that's fine it's all I asked for she was fine then this year tho I have treated myself to some pj's slippers chocs and bath bombs not all only cheap I will wrap them an put them under tree.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 10/12/2021 15:28

2 things to open (and then the two at your Grandad’s) is fine.
I’ve only had a couple of presents to open since having DC.
I think you are overthinking it.
You could always put some xmas food in a gift bag under the tree and you and your DC open
It together.

hiredandsqueak · 10/12/2021 15:28

I think children know that adults don't get piles of presents don't they? None of mine have ever questioned it.

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