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Original poster

Do I accept invitations or just stay alone?

157 replies

whistlingtea · 10/09/2016 00:33

I'm used to spending Christmas alone, I have since 2000 with only four exceptions, but I thought this one might be different but it won't be due to DPs work.

I've politely declined invitations in the past as its so uncomfortable being in someone's home at an intimate time but this year I don't want to be alone. But I still feel uncomfortable being in someone's home.

So - any suggestions? Grin

OP posts:
HungryHorace · 10/09/2016 00:39

Invite people to you?

Original poster
whistlingtea · 10/09/2016 00:42

Well, they obviously aren't going to do that!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 10/09/2016 00:44

What hours does your DP work on Christmas day? Do you live near family? Do you have children together?

danTDM · 10/09/2016 00:52

stay alone then. IT's a day.

Original poster
whistlingtea · 10/09/2016 00:53

I have no family, and we don't have children or currently live together.

He works in the church so obviously Christmas is busy!

OP posts:
elephantoverthehill · 10/09/2016 00:59

Accept all the invitations you can and do a Vicar of Dibley Christmas special. Your partner can meet you at the last one and roll you down the hill. Grin

ImperialBlether · 10/09/2016 00:59

But surely he doesn't work after 12 noon on Christmas Day, then?

VioletBam · 10/09/2016 01:01

Imperial he may be volunterring at shelters etc.

OP if you feel uncomfortable in other people's homes but are happy to be alone otherwise, then carry on!

If you don't, why don't you volunteer at a shelter?

danTDM · 10/09/2016 01:01

You will be a spare part, as you fear, so stay in on your own.
It really isn't or shouldn't be a big deal as an adult. Unless you are needy.

ImperialBlether · 10/09/2016 01:07

Not many married vicars volunteer at shelters.

VioletBam · 10/09/2016 01:10

Imperial that's a sweeping statement. And it's irrelevant. OP says his work means he's not there at Christmas so why not just accept what she says instead of questioning it?

VioletBam · 10/09/2016 01:10

Also she didn't say he was a Vicar did she? She said "he works in the church"

HungryHorace · 10/09/2016 01:11

If you're not happy going to them but they won't (are you sure, or are you assuming this) come to you, then you'll have to be alone. Your choice really!

Original poster
whistlingtea · 10/09/2016 06:50

We're not married and he's not a vicar.

Hungry would you really be happy bringing your kids and husband over to a friends place on Christmas Day? Or would you prefer to be in your own home?

I don't think I'm needy just wondering what to do!

OP posts:
OneEpisode · 10/09/2016 06:57

You've been invited because they want your company. They maybe want to have a bigger meal (maybe for instance they'd be able to buy a proper big turkey instead of the smaller joint if it was just them). If you want to go, go. And arrange what you'll be bringing.

Original poster
whistlingtea · 10/09/2016 06:58

Honestly One that's not why you tend to get Christmas invitations. But anyway it's not that. It's that you're imposing in on someone else's family during a very intimate time and that's uncomfortable!

OP posts:
Artandco · 10/09/2016 07:00

Of course people are happy to go to friends and others happy to have them, otherwise people wouldn't invite them

If people are inviting you then it's your choice to go or stay at home

BikeRunSki · 10/09/2016 07:01

Volunteer for Crisis, or a similar organisation. I plan to do this when my DC are older.

Artandco · 10/09/2016 07:01

I don't see Christmas as an intimate time, it's just a day off with food for us and a few gifts. Anyone's free to join

MrsMillions · 10/09/2016 07:03

Might you get invitations from people who have invited more than just you? I could imagine that might feel less of an imposition, as you're not the one doing the imposing, IYSWIM.

OneEpisode · 10/09/2016 07:05

Why do you think you are being invited then?
My parents have no dc in the house Christmas Day (my dc are SN and it's too much grief to travel that day). DPs always invite others. They choose people who they think are compatible, and enjoy tasting someone else's pudding and sharing their own recipes...

Original poster
whistlingtea · 10/09/2016 07:05

Ideally I would, Mrs but I don't think many others are invited - most people have their own homes to go to! Art I guess that's it, maybe it's not an intimate time to you or doesn't feel like it but is still a time for you and your family and I do feel awkward imposing on that. It's quite hard to explain unless you have been in that position I think.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 10/09/2016 07:06

You won't be imposing! We always have people not part of our family for Christmas dinner who would be alone otherwise and it's great! Go! The more the merrier!

phillipp · 10/09/2016 07:06

Christmas is not intimate at our house, or in any of my family.

It's a free for all, really.

Last year our neighbours wife left him. On Christmas morning dh saw him and it turned out his son was with his wife for Christmas. So we invited him round, he spent the day with us and my parents. No one batted an eyelid.

When I lived at home with mum and dad, we have had all sorts of people join us for Christmas Day. Singles, couples, family.

It's the one day of the year I enjoy being squashed in while we eat.

My neighbour has his son this year and if they are on their own, we will have them over.

Original poster
whistlingtea · 10/09/2016 07:07

I know the host probably doesn't feel as if it's an imposition but it is unfortunately !

OP posts: