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Christmas

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Original poster

Do I accept invitations or just stay alone?

157 replies

whistlingtea · 10/09/2016 00:33

I'm used to spending Christmas alone, I have since 2000 with only four exceptions, but I thought this one might be different but it won't be due to DPs work.

I've politely declined invitations in the past as its so uncomfortable being in someone's home at an intimate time but this year I don't want to be alone. But I still feel uncomfortable being in someone's home.

So - any suggestions? Grin

OP posts:
NataliaOsipova · 10/09/2016 20:57

....but Whistling, I said that. And I meant it, for the reasons I outlined! Just saying more people are in the "oh shit, how do we put up with the MIL all day" than you realise. You are seeing yourself as an imposition, whereas I think you could well be the light relief!

purpleladybird · 10/09/2016 21:27

I wouldn't want any of my friends, relatives, neighbours or colleagues to be alone for Christmas if they would prefer company. For me it really is the more the merrier. I have invited friends over before and I will do doubt do so again. Short notice is fine, there's always enough food and we can survive with one less roast potato. If my family don't like that, they are welcome to make other plans. But they are perfectly content and it makes the day more interesting and fun.

For what it's worth, most families are bored by mid-afternoon. If you want to see people without risk of imposing, go after they've had lunch and stay for the evening. But if they invite you it is because they want you. If you want to go, don't overthink it, just graciously accept and take some wine.

NataliaOsipova · 11/09/2016 10:19

For what it's worth, most families are bored by mid-afternoon

....purpleladybird puts it politely. I'd have welcomed you with open arms at our house (and I've never met you!). Especially if you brought wine....

Original poster
whistlingtea · 11/09/2016 10:20

I know; I think the problem is that many friends are a fair trek away so just popping in isn't really doable (local friends have big extended families round) but I could book a hotel. Wouldn't want to impose for the whole day x

OP posts:
Redglitter · 11/09/2016 10:24

How much of the day is your partner away for surely he must be finishing work at some point. Can't you have a nice lazy day til he comes in then have your Christmas. It doesn't have to be conventional it just has to suit you both

flapjackfairy · 11/09/2016 11:17

Why not root out other people who are alone and get together with them. You sound scared to join in but you may find you have a great time. There may well be people at your partners church who would love an invite. Go for it it may be the start of a wonderful new xmas tradition .

MissBattleaxe · 11/09/2016 15:59

What time does your DP finish? is he far away? can you not spend ANY of the day together? How often do you see each other?

If he's not clergy, why is he busy on Christmas day?

ImperialBlether · 11/09/2016 16:07

I can't think of a job in the clergy which involves being busy all of Christmas Day.

MissBattleaxe · 11/09/2016 16:40

I don't understand why you can't stay with your DP on Christmas Day and wait for him to finish?

LazySusan11 · 11/09/2016 17:35

Why not Volunteer at a shelter you'll not be alone then and will still have enough time to spend with your dp.

Original poster
whistlingtea · 11/09/2016 17:37

Most shelters are full up of volunteers. I don't live with DP , and don't actually know anyone else who's alone!

OP posts:
GettingScaredNow · 11/09/2016 17:45

I see Christmas as a massive deal, I know that could get me lynched but I do.
It's an amazing fun filled cosy day of happiness with my family and DC.
I love to host it, I love prepping it, all the food can't wait for the food! and games and everyone together.

And I'm always inviting people along!
If I didn't want them there I would invite them.
So if you've been invited then they are happy for you to be there and won't feel like your an imposition.

Original poster
whistlingtea · 11/09/2016 17:57

No one should lynch you for that on the Christmas board! But seriously I see it as a big deal as well but for families you know?

OP posts:
HungryHorace · 11/09/2016 18:04

Just because you don't live with him it doesn't mean you can't see him on Christmas Day. Isn't there any way to spend some of it together? Who will he spend the part of the day he isn't working with?

Original poster
whistlingtea · 11/09/2016 18:13

Probably with his own family in a different area of the country to me and quite an 'awkward' way away if you follow me (west to east!)

OP posts:
YoungGirlGrowingOld · 11/09/2016 18:22

It's a free for all at ours too. Last year DH went to do a ward round and came back with 4 more people who I hadn't catered for. Not enough matching plates or chairs but plenty of booze luckily I also burnt the roasties. Best Christnas ever Grin

Justwanttoweeinpeace · 11/09/2016 18:33

I'd love non-family at ours for Christmas. It might encourage the family to behave a bit better Grin

MissBattleaxe · 11/09/2016 18:42

Probably with his own family in a different area of the country

Probably? How long has he been your DP?

Original poster
whistlingtea · 11/09/2016 18:55

A few months but he is a man and doesn't talk about Christmas in September Grin

OP posts:
flapjackfairy · 11/09/2016 22:15

It seems to me that you do not really want to accept any invites and are determined to spend the day alone no matter what anyone suggests which is, of course absolutely fine! So my advice is buy in all the foods you love, eat as much as you want , relax , sleep , watch endless xmas TV etc. It sounds quite appealing now I think of it though my Christmas is a 2 week round of family and feasting which I absolutely love. Anyway whatever you decide I wish you a merry Christmas (although that may be a tad early even for me! )

purpleladybird · 11/09/2016 22:28

Not enough matching plates or chairs

YoungGirls A friend of mine has a saying "It's not Christmas unless there's someone on the piano stool."

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 12/09/2016 07:59

Haha that's ace purple We don't have a piano but we had the small peeps on beanbags round the coffee table - luckily they loved it!

Ragwort · 12/09/2016 08:15

Do you really not know any other 'single' people who might be alone at Christmas?

What sort of 'work' is your DP doing all Christmas day that you couldn't go along with him - as a family we have frequently helped out with Christmas day lunches at Church - there is always room for one more.

Reading the thread it does sound as though you are almost enjoying being obtuse about the suggestions you have been given.

claraschu · 12/09/2016 08:22

For me, a couple of extra people make Christmas special. My parents always had a few single friends/distant relatives who would show up once a year, on Christmas. Somehow, their presence turned everything into a party, even though they weren't particularly typically "fun" people. I think that the effort of making sure they felt welcome and had a good time made everyone be nicer to each other.

Don't feel like a burden, OP; you might be the life and soul of the party.

purpleladybird · 12/09/2016 08:24

YoungGirl As a kid I once shared a piano stool with my cousin on Xmas Day. And I have lived to tell the tale. Bean bags round a coffee table is a good solution.

I like having extra people on Xmas Day. It all adds to the excitement.

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