I received this txt from my dd on Friday - is she the most self-contained 11 year old around?

[growingdd]

I was in work, she was at home with her dad.

"I've started my p**d [her asterisks].yes I'm sure.No I haven't told Dad and I don't intend to.Yes I've put a pad on.No I don't feel scared or worried.Yes everything is under control, so there is no need to ask any questions!!Please carry on with your work and don't worry about me!!No I don't really want to talk about it when you get home, so just tell me which pads to use and you keep on buying them for me and everything will be fine!!OK!!"

I texted her back saying we would have a chat when I got home, she said "I'll pass on the chat thanks".

I haven't actually seen her for more then 5 minutes since she texted, as she has been out, I've been out etc.

She is just so grown up - I can't believe it!

We will be chatting about it, though...

(changed my name as she reads mn sometimes and would be mortified to see this here)

I think she sounds fab too - i was mortified when i got mine but knew what was happening and really didnt want a discussion or my dad knowing - just to know that supplies would be inevery month. I eish i could have just texted my mum rather than ermmm mum i have chucked my pants beacuse....

I agree with jumpingdizzy
weall are able to write whatever we first think without fear of anything coming back to us or people actually being angry face to face with us

I was one of those 'nasty people' and I have apologised jumpingdizzy

Fair Play to you, TR

What a fab text. I have had some of my best chats ever with my 12yo ds by text and we are extremely close and open when together.

I think you have a lot to be proud of

I agree with IARCetc too.

How on earth can anyone judge a) a text b) someone's personal way of talking to their mum out of context of the relationship (is it jokey, is it warm, is it flippant, is it cold etc).

I never told my Mum a thing when I started my period, and the last thing I'd have wanted was a fuss (which is why I didn't tell her). Respect for OP's dd.

I think growingdd is best able to judge the tone of the text, as she is the only one on this thread that actually knows her DD.

I read it as her trying to show her Mum that she is in control, and that she may not feel ready to discuss the situation with her Mum, or tell her Dad at all.
The text was her way of pre-empting the 'chat', and saying she wasn't ready for it yet.

She wanted to tell her Mum - she did.

I thought she sounded snippy and rude too. I would never have dared speak to my mother like that

I can forgive her immaturity though... she is only 11 remember.

I think she sounds great.
Not all of us need to 'bond' and get in touch with our feelings. Yuck.

How vile people have been about your dd GrowingOld!!

And how is it rude to not want to discuss personal matters, irrespective of age???? Her body, her choice.

She sounds great. I would have been MORTIFIED if my mum had wanted a 'chat' about things. Fortunately for me she was equally embarrassed, and left a cringe-worthy book on my bookcase called 'Have you Started Yet?' which I read, then promptly hid so none of my friends would EVER EVER see it!

LOL - I had the same book, which was chucked on my bed as my Mum legged it downstairs as fast as she could.

Rest assured I have no hard feelings to anyone on this thread, and am glad that the overall consensus is that this was a positive thing.

Dd is home now, have told her that I have bought some towels for her, and to tell me if she runs out. She quite clearly didn't want to "chat" - I asked her if it was still going on, it is. She has told her friends - one of them started about 3 months ago apparently (which I didn't know). I didn't press any further, told her not to be embarrassed.

All is fine, as far as I can tell.

I did not read it as being rude, I thought the text was in good humour actually.

well done missgrowingdd!

tortoiseShell - that book was illustrated by ME - if it is the reissue in the 90s !!! think how I enjoyed drawing ladies parts too...

lol - really MAS? I think I had an earlier version - must have been mid80s.

I told my mum face to face as she was putting the shopping away, she was really annoyed I hadn't told her before she'd gone shopping because now she'd have to go back out (I started while she was at the shops) I would much rather have had the option to txt her while she was at the shops tbh but I didn't, we have a fab relationship btw. My sister kept it quiet and freaked if we ever mentioned it. Every person is different we all take things different ways we all handle it different ways. I'm sure my mum wished she had reacted differently but she didnt and now I'm an adult with a busy schedule I understand why she might have been a bit narked she had to go back to the shops still would have been nice if she had tried to hide the fact it annoyed her but she didn't and I've coped we are really close, so close she was there for the birth of both my dd's. What I'm faffing about trying to say is I'm sure you are doing a fab job GDD!!! I hope I handle it half as well as you have and dd feels able to txt/ msn/ talk to me as and when (she's 9 now)

I definitely did it after 1990 - I remember adapting the incomprehensible diagram in the Tampax box to show how to insert them (those diagrams confused me no end as a teenager)..actually,it all looks a bit dated to me now.

You should be very proud - write that text down somewhere and show it her in 5 or 6 years...

I was confused by the diagrams too, though the ones I'd seen were in a book.

I didn't know which bits were pictures of the female reproduction system, and which bits were the diagram of the tampon in situ!

I was pleasantly surprised when I actually saw a tampon - from the diagram I'd be wondering how the heck it was all going to fit!

it was the cross-section view of the womb which threw me !

If I remember rightly, it was confusing because they'd done a cross-section, and therefore it was always of a one-legged woman...

No, I don't think it was rude - I think it was defensive - and precocious but in a very normal way, and yes, she does sound self assured which is wonderful.

I think it sounds like she is trying to sound like a grown up which after all is what most kids do at this age,

And fobbing off your parents with a 'I'll pass thanks' is obviously, very very obviously just a little girl trying to prove to her mum that she can deal with stuff, and this is a definite rite of passage psychologically, it is natural to break away a bit and that is what she is doing - putting on a grown up voice to see how it feels.

I would be proud of her too.

Far more worried if she wasn't doing that 'testing the boundaries' thing, I never did it much, I still live too near my mum

All good!

I think it would be a goo idea that for a large proportion of Mumsnetters, it is nearly the end of the Summer holidays, a time of great stress. This is why attitudes are a bit snippier and tempers are a bit shorter than normal.

I have no opinion on the text message, it's slightly sarcastic but 11 year old girls often are. It's not a big deal.

Some of the responses have been way out of line, and I thought it would be nice to remind everyone that the names on the screen in front of you are not your kids and it's not their fault you're having a rough few weeks. If a work aquaintance had cosied up to you, and showed you this text message proudly, I don't believe anyone here would have told her her daughter was rude, immature, sarcastic and unkind and that the op needs to work on their relationship!

I think she sounds great! You can SEE her rolling her eyes upwards at the suggestion of a 'chat'!

11 year olds are much more assured these days and I thought the text showed a warm and loving relationship - she knew how you would react and was heading you off at the pass so to speak.

Well put TBGP!