I received this txt from my dd on Friday - is she the most self-contained 11 year old around?

[growingdd]

I was in work, she was at home with her dad.

"I've started my p**d [her asterisks].yes I'm sure.No I haven't told Dad and I don't intend to.Yes I've put a pad on.No I don't feel scared or worried.Yes everything is under control, so there is no need to ask any questions!!Please carry on with your work and don't worry about me!!No I don't really want to talk about it when you get home, so just tell me which pads to use and you keep on buying them for me and everything will be fine!!OK!!"

I texted her back saying we would have a chat when I got home, she said "I'll pass on the chat thanks".

I haven't actually seen her for more then 5 minutes since she texted, as she has been out, I've been out etc.

She is just so grown up - I can't believe it!

We will be chatting about it, though...

(changed my name as she reads mn sometimes and would be mortified to see this here)

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Have just read the entire thread because I was intrigued by so many different interpretations of a text. I still think this girl sounds great - a good sense of humour and a warm relationship with her mum where she can say these things. It's a funny text. I'd be proud of her.

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absolutely, flightattendant, the text seemed sarcastic in a cute 11-year-old defensive way to me. and self-assured and funny and confident as well.

and anyway, the sarcastic content of that text has no bearing on the fact that no doubt the OP will bake a cake with her or somesuch and Making No Eye Contact Whatsoever she'll check that she really is okay and then give her dd a squeeze and then Never Speak Of It Again.

she sounds great, imo. and a little bit precocious... what's she going to be like at 14?

Wish i had texted my mum the news of my first period starting... told her face to face, she began by shouting at me, then she cried and hugged me and then cried some more. I was mortified! She then went on to hardly talk to me for the next few days, she was so embarrassed by her little outburst. I still cringe thinking about it.

Your DD sounds fab.

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This so reminds me of being 11 - I was very similar to the op's dd and thank goodness my dm took it all with a pinch of salt!I may even say things like that now, but we'll be laughing at the same time - generally me saying 'I really really really don't need advice on that thanks mum'
I can see the same stridently fierce spirit in my dd who's 3 now 'no I'll do it mummy and I don't need any help at all' I know she needs me really

It was quite a shock, she was usually rather normal and dealt with everything with a stiff upper lip.

I remember it with great detail, i was sat on the bottom of the stairs, when she started the hugging and crying i tried to scramble back up them, but her hug was too tight to escape from. Urggghhh it was awful!

@ SmallShips' mortifying mother. Aren't there some cultures where newly-mentruating girls are hugged then slapped round the face then hugged again all amidst wailing and cheering...

Dreadfully unbritish.

I'm a bit unsure of how I would have reacted to a text like this. If your DD had been older say 14 and one of the last of her friends to start their period then I could have understood her being so flippant.

11 is still young to start and she may be the first of all her friends so I think she needs to be able to chat to you about it without any embarrassment. Girls tend to stick close to their mums around this stage. I'm also very surprised that she went ahead with the sleepover.

My DD was just turned 11 when she started and even though we had had the chat, bought the pads for her prior to it happening, she needed lots of tlc from me. She also had a horrendous time of it. Bleeding wouldn't stop for weeks on end then she came on again 10 days later. So I had to be aware of what was happening and eventually took her to the doctor. Even now 3 years on she trys to avoid staying with friends when she is on. Hope things are better for your DD.

Anyway it could have been a lot worse. I started when I was about 12 (1983-ish) and I ran downstairs from the loo and into the living room where my mother was, lay on the floor in front of her with my legs wide open (oh the shame!) and said 'is this what I think it is?

Bloody good job no one else was home!

I think she sounds great! I can't believe people have been so rude about your dd.

She is obviously embrassed and does not to talk about it. Hardly the time for a lecture on manners.

Sorry growingdd, I didn't read all the posts and can see that one of her friends started a little while ago, so that explains her don't fuss attitude. Very different experience to ours. My DD was around a year and a half ahead than any of her friends.

I remember when I started - I was just a little over 10 years old.

My mother worked with some mums with daughters in my class. She blabbed and told them all (was a little over excited I guess ). I was the talk of the class the next day as I was the first. I hated it.

Janni -- I was slapped round the face and hugged and mazeltoved, as was my sister. We weren't religious, but Jewish by heritage and tradition and according to my mother . I don't think I'm going continue this tradition for my DDs though.

oops, meant to say, according to my mother, this is the Jewish tradition.

I think she sounds great and she's pre-empted almost every question I asked my own daughters when they started! It sounds like you have a good, open relationship with her and that she was well prepared.

How sad that one text can cause some people to think that she's rude, starved of affection and attention and that maybe you should change your job to be around for her more! Crazy. Also why should she not go out just because her period started? Should she also lie down for a week and not bath or wash her hair in case the 'bad blood' goes to her head? (My Mum, born in the 1930, was told that)

I started my period at school and couldn't wait to get home and tell my Mum. I was so proud! I also showed her my first pubic hair

Oh gosh I was so embarrassed telling mine...being the younger one, my sister had already had all the woes of puberty, was a sulky hormonal and rather pre raphaelite sort of presence.
She started when she was 11...I was 14 or nearly.
I wandered into the kitchen and said, in a sort of ironic manner: '

Oh God the shame

'One thinks one has become a woman'

She didn't have a clue what to say either...channels of communication between us were not all they could have been...

I think the text proves that the op and her DD have a good relationship, DD was obviously well prepared beforehand.
When I started I was sitting on the loo wondering what the thing on the floor was (a nice clot btw). I called my Mum when I realied I was bleeding,. She daid to me to hang on, she had towels in the hot press.
Came in a slipped on the mess on the floor. .

Sorry, but "one thinks one has become a woman"?!?!?!

ROFL!

If she'd texted me that, I would have been worried!

at Flight.
Hilarious!!

i wish there was text around when i was 12(not of course that i would have had a phone..of that i am certain)

not that i think she was 'rude'(?)...but who isnt a little cranky on their period?

lol EyeballsintheSky!

Bless you!

I don't think the text was rude at all! Especially bearing in mind that even if she's not scared or worried or anything she is most certainly hormonal and that's bound to affect her mood. Doesn't it with most of us?

I thought text in OP was nice. Long and specific because deep down she's dying to tell someone all about it, but she wants to be in control of the info and what's said about it. I wouldn't have a single problem with my DD having written it.