Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Children's health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Partner has nowhere to stay whilst I stay in hospital with our son who is recovering from a operation

265 replies

oldmoutcider · 19/10/2025 15:41

Son has had an operation and we were due to stay four nights. Operation didn’t go as planned so we now in for the foreseeable. We had a hotel booked for him to stay at for four nights at a cost to ourselves whilst I stayed at the hospital but we need to stay longer and only one can stay by the bedside.
Hospital are now saying they have no accommodation for him. We are 2.5 hours from home. Any idea what we are expected to do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Thread gallery
7
AutumnCosy2025 · 19/10/2025 16:23

I'm sorry the Op didn't go as planned, it's a worrying time. I'm pleased to hear he's doing better though. If they're rescheduled for a months time, do you have a rough idea when DS can go home?

persknally I'd be happy for DH to go home, go to work & sort out anything needed there. But if you really want him to stay in London, I think all you can do is look for the cheapest option for tonight (doesn't need to be central, he can get the tube/train further out) & see what help/suggestions you can get tomorrow.

being realistic though hospitals can not accommodate 2 adults per child.

DS NEEDS one of you, you need to do your best to cope. It's not ideal, but unfortunately as a nation we can't afford 'ideal' 🥲

raeray · 19/10/2025 16:23

You could ask the nurse in charge of the ward to speak with one of the CSPs they are usually very experienced and might know of something that could help. They work on a weekend too and help clinically as well as problem solving/more managerial type stuff. They can be very busy but worth an ask perhaps?

It might end up if you can booking an extra night tonight and then in hours the accommodation team hopefully can help.

Hope your little one is feeling better very soon.

Florencesndzebedee · 19/10/2025 16:25

There’s a new 1000 space pod hotel that’s opened up near Kings X. It’s £30 a night. I’ll find the name of it.

caringcarer · 19/10/2025 16:25

That sounds really tough. Can he find a Premier In and whack it on his credit card as an emergency? If not I guess one of you had to go home if you have no friends you can stay with.

Original poster
oldmoutcider · 19/10/2025 16:29

@Princesspollyyy I don’t expect anything. He has had major surgery. It went wrong. Staying longer than planned. Been told different things by different staff members so being told at 4pm on a Sunday a four hour drive from home that only one of us can stay has tipped me over the edge slightly x

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 19/10/2025 16:31

Princesspollyyy · 19/10/2025 16:16

So you think that because your son is three, you both need to be there? Sorry but this is not the case. Only one of you needs to be at the bedside, and you are expected to take it in turns.

It was the exact case when my son was in hospital. That's what hospital accommodation is for. So families can stay together as much as possible, that's the whole point.

It sounds like it's either full which can happen sometimes or they can't sort anything out until after the weekend so hopefully might get sorted tomorrow.

Original poster
oldmoutcider · 19/10/2025 16:31

@FlorencesndzebedeeThank
you. Is it Smart or something like that?

OP posts:
VikaOlson · 19/10/2025 16:32

Could your partner go home for the next couple of nights and then swap with you if you want to have a couple of nights off?

If it's a 2.5 hour drive he could set off now and be home by dinner time.

Kirbert2 · 19/10/2025 16:37

OP, unfortunately not much happens in hospitals during the weekend. Tomorrow, ask to speak to a family support worker and they should be able to help you with accommodation.

It may just be full at the moment which can happen sometimes. Families of children in intensive care will also be prioritised or that was the case at the hospital my son was at.

Florencesndzebedee · 19/10/2025 16:38

It’s at Piccadilly so not too far away.
Zedwell - link above. It probably operates surge pricing so may cost a bit more than £30 if you’re booking for tonight for example.

soupyspoon · 19/10/2025 16:40

I would get your partner to make his way home and stop delaying that, you said you're 2.5hrs away from home

He could come back in a few days to relieve you. You need for him to have as much rest as possible so that he can support you both and then take over from you when you go home and have a rest

Hopefully your son will return home soon as well

Original poster
oldmoutcider · 19/10/2025 16:41

Thank you @Kirbert2. Not expecting to be given 5star treatment but family accommodation is exactly that. For families to stay together. It is a worrying time when your kid is ill x

OP posts:
KookyRoseCrab · 19/10/2025 16:42

Daughter was admitted to hospital at 2 yrs old and I stayed then the hospital chucked me out as I had a flu virus and husband had to stay . It’s not their problem to find a bed you are lucky they are letting you stay

TomatoSandwiches · 19/10/2025 16:43

Ignore the people saying you only need one parent, technically it's true but after staying at 3 different hospitals over 6 months with our son I can categorically confirm that you need both parents ideally, it's very stressful for one parent to stay with no support.

Nurses don't actually nurse like they used to, you can't even go to the toilet, go get food if your child is awake and unable to be left alone, no one will supervise a bay at all.

I really sympathise because they should take things like this into consideration but they don't, it really hurts families that are already in need of support.

Overtheatlantic · 19/10/2025 16:43

There are loads of hostels in Bayswater which isn’t that far from Great Ormond Street. Best wishes to your son. 💐

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/10/2025 16:44

Florencesndzebedee · 19/10/2025 16:27

This looks amazing and perfect for a bed for the night

@oldmoutcider sorry to hear ds3 is poorly. Hope op can go ahead as planned soon

Original poster
oldmoutcider · 19/10/2025 16:45

@soupyspoonRest?! He has had all the rest in the world. He has spent four nights in a lovely hotel whilst I have shared a bed with my son as that’s what he wanted. Booked the same hotel for another night tonight as it was cheaper than going home and coming back another day x

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 19/10/2025 16:49

TomatoSandwiches · 19/10/2025 16:43

Ignore the people saying you only need one parent, technically it's true but after staying at 3 different hospitals over 6 months with our son I can categorically confirm that you need both parents ideally, it's very stressful for one parent to stay with no support.

Nurses don't actually nurse like they used to, you can't even go to the toilet, go get food if your child is awake and unable to be left alone, no one will supervise a bay at all.

I really sympathise because they should take things like this into consideration but they don't, it really hurts families that are already in need of support.

Yep.

My son was in hospital for 10 months until the start of this year and it was the most awful, stressful 10 months of my life. DH obviously couldn't stay for 10 months because he eventually had to go back to work but the hospital provided accommodation for us from the minute we came in as an emergency transfer at 4am and continued to provide somewhere for DH to sleep when our son was moved to a ward from intensive care. Never had to pay for hotel rooms at all during those 10 months.

Cynic17 · 19/10/2025 16:51

Surely your partner would have to be at work anyway, so there is no way he could have stayed. So he hops on a train and goes home. Then he can drive up to collect you both when your son is able to be discharged.

Original poster
oldmoutcider · 19/10/2025 16:51

@TomatoSandwichesThankfully we have a room and we aren’t on a ward but it isn’t like a can just leave and get myself some food and leave him by himself.
Not expecting partner to be put up in a hotel. Family accommodation is exactly that. To keep families together x

OP posts:
whereonthestair · 19/10/2025 16:53

Ask GOSH again, we have stayed in the patient hotel, my son me and DH, we have also stayed in a place by the square funded by charity. It does depend how ill your child is. We stayed when DS was in ICU, then he stayed with us once he was out of the ward. Other than that have you friends or family nearer than you. Trains can be fast into King’s Cross/st Pancras,Euston and that has worked for us as that is 15 mins walk to GOSH now entrance is at the back

rainbowstardrops · 19/10/2025 16:56

I’m sorry it’s so tough for you all right now but I hope you can get some help and support tomorrow. Also hope your little one is on the mend soon Flowers

Lougle · 19/10/2025 16:56

I do think the hospital will expect for only one of you to stay. It's even worse when you have an adult child who still requires your presence (SN). I spent 6 nights sleeping on the hospital floor a few weeks ago. With one of my DDs, they even insist that I stay because of her SN, but still expect me to sleep in a high back chair.