Partner has nowhere to stay whilst I stay in hospital with our son who is recovering from a operation

[oldmoutcider]

Son has had an operation and we were due to stay four nights. Operation didn’t go as planned so we now in for the foreseeable. We had a hotel booked for him to stay at for four nights at a cost to ourselves whilst I stayed at the hospital but we need to stay longer and only one can stay by the bedside.
Hospital are now saying they have no accommodation for him. We are 2.5 hours from home. Any idea what we are expected to do?

Families with children in intensive care will be prioritised because you can't stay with your child when they are in intensive care but if there is space then they are available for all families who aren't local to the area.

My son started out in intensive care but my DH didn't get chucked out on the street when he was moved to a ward. He did have to move to a different accommodation though.

Try Z Hotels or Point A hotels.

@RockaLockYes as it was meant to be a much simpler operation but due to an extra issue that needed fixing before they could carry on it has become more then it needed to be. Plan would obviously need to change if surgeon doesn’t recommend x

That's tough
Someone may have already suggested but the cheapest option will probably be a room in a house on Airbnb. We are relatively central and used to rent a spare room out for £50 a night although it was a few years ago now.

@howshouldibehave Would be great if that was the case. He would be on the sofa as family members are staying at my house to look after my older child. And park where exactly?! X

This sounds an awful situation for you all. Some really shitty replies on here too. If you have a moment, join Host A Sister for accommodation for you and Couchsurfing for your husband. Host A Sister is very kind and you could get lucky - fingers crossed.

@FlorenceAndTheVagineA five hour drive. 2.5 hours by train. Live in a city in the north. Son is expected to be here until Thursday at the earliest. Family members staying at my house to look after an elder child x

Then depending on the child's age / needs / staffing levels they either end up being looked after by a HCA / student nurse or are left largely to their own devices.

We had one baby on our ward for whom I never saw an adult. Nurses and HCAs did their best but she was a baby and cried a lot. She was walked up and down the ward alot but ultimately they had work to do
4ish yo had no adult overnight so his parents got him dressed for bed, and the nurses would get him settled when lights went off / curtains kept open and they basically tried to keep him in his bed til Mom came through a mix of telly and tag teaming from less busy staff.

Teenager without parents was just left to get on with it largely, knowing they'd call if they needed help.

If you drive, do you have to pay the congestion charge or do you get a special pass?

Might be worth checking your work benefits or with your HR teams. Some employers have cash plans or benenden cover for families which do a per night cash allowance per night spent in hospital

Said very gently cos I know how hard it is, but perhaps it's time he went home and spent some time with your other kids. It's already been 4 days did you say? And now it's going to be how many more? Then Monday he comes back and you go home and spend some time with your children. It's hard on them missing two parents for so long

I think 2 parents get family accommodation if their child is in hdu or itu, are you staying in his room, you do need to get a break so your dh can sit with your son while you get food, shower, change of clothes. Do either of you have health insurance that might cover the cost of a hotel. Which hotel are you staying in, there might be something cheaper. Hope your son is feeling better soon.

My DD also had major spinal surgery in London (scoliosis surgery - I’m guessing your DS may have had this too?) and we flew home on a regular British Airways flight 5 days post-op. Public transport isn’t a massive issue - speaking as a HCP myself as long as the patient is safe & comfortable the hospital will not mind how they get home!

@TakeMe2InsanityYes we found a hotel at the end of the road that the hotel
is on. £99 a night so not too bad but not ideal long term and we are due back in a month for the original operation to happen again. Support of my partner has been invaluable. I have been fed and watered without worrying about leaving my son and have been able to nap during the day. Partner feels useful as my son is a mummy’s boy so comes to me for comfort etc and work have been generous with him having time off. Major surgery obviously not a paper cut x

@SleepingStandingUpI already have mum guilt about leaving my child for so long but what can I do. She is having the time of her life with family members that we see a handful of times a year. She has been spoilt rotten with their time and slime! X

@MissMoneyFairystaying at a hotel at the end of the road. £99 a night. Cheapest we could find being so close. Obviously could do cheaper with a hostel or shared dorm etc but it has been used as a base for showers and naps during the day which wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise x

@CountryMouse22 Would need to pay. Can claim back if on certain benefits which we aren’t x

Yes that’s very normal, they provide accommodation for one parent, shock you thought you were entitled to more.

I can drive now but I couldn't when my son was in hospital. What do you think parents who can't drive do? Taxis aren't always affordable, especially if it isn't your local hospital and especially when your finances have already taken a major hit when your child has had a hospital stay.

Sometimes hospitals will pay for transport home such as taxis but if they can't do that for whatever reason, they can't dictate how someone gets home.

We got the train home after my son's hospital stay because we simply couldn't afford anything else. We could barely afford the train home at that time.

They could put bunk beds in the single rooms and charge a small fee to cover the cost of 2 people

It’s not about being entitled, when you have a child in hospital it turns your world on its head … You can’t think straight - have some compassion .

One parent can stay on the ward with their child and if they aren't local, it is very normal for hospital accommodation to provide a bed for the other parent too if there is a bed available which isn't always the case.

Sophie's legacy are a lovely charity who help families with children in hospital they may be worth a call.

Exactly this . After my sister & BIL stayed at Ronald
mcdonald house, they made a significant donation as they were so grateful to have been able to stay nearby . Cheaper than a hotel but invaluable at the time when their newborn was having surgery

This must all be so stressful for you. Where is the hospital? Someone at our church may be able to help.....
Edited to say I didn't read where you said its at GOSH. Sorry.