Partner has nowhere to stay whilst I stay in hospital with our son who is recovering from a operation

[oldmoutcider]

Son has had an operation and we were due to stay four nights. Operation didn’t go as planned so we now in for the foreseeable. We had a hotel booked for him to stay at for four nights at a cost to ourselves whilst I stayed at the hospital but we need to stay longer and only one can stay by the bedside.
Hospital are now saying they have no accommodation for him. We are 2.5 hours from home. Any idea what we are expected to do?

Don’t do this. You don’t need a car in London as public transport is so good. You can’t park very easily and it is extremely expensive if you don’t have a permit. He’d also have to pay congestion charge if he goes into central London.

@JFDIYOLO They live 2.5 hours away. To tag-team on a daily basis would cost more in train fares/petrol than a hotel.
I don't know if they still do this but when I was there they gave out parking permits so you could at least park nearby for free.

Gosh has quite a bit more hospital accommodation, I'd pay for tonight and try again tomorrow. However some is just for mums, I think it's a kind of dorm in Southwood or the old nursing home building. Plenty just off site too. Any chance your child will have their own room soon?

You are in an unusual position OP in that you are in a very expensive city, a long way from home, and want both parents to stay with the child. All three of mine had surgeries when they were under the age of 12 and it was always the case that ONE parent could stay. Not both. This is the case however far home is - and the hospital my kids were treated in had patients from all over Scotland, including the islands.

Also, many parents will have other children to care for or jobs which won't/can't give leave at short notice and this means that in most cases one parent is with the child in hospital, the other is at home keeping plates spinning. Swapping over when possible.

You can park easily in Peckham and surrounds and jump on a bus. Assuming he is coming from the south. No charge incurred

Other towns are also available.

Is one parent expected to stay? What happens if you can't?

Have you tried to park in Peckham recently?! It’s also at least an hour on the bus, and that’s not in peak travel times.

It's pretty clear it is 5 hour round trip.

It is, in theory commutable distance but train ticket at a last minute will probably be more than a hotel.

GOSH is very clear on its rules around arranging accommodation for parents.

Staying with your child
We guarantee that one parent will be able to stay with your child at GOSH. Depending on your child’s ward, this may be at their bedside in a recliner chair or fold out bed. We will always offer somewhere to one parent to stay overnight.
We keep a ‘waiting list’ for the other parent – if there is space in our accommodation units by the evening, we will offer them somewhere to stay as well but can’t guarantee this. We will also have to review what space is available from day to day so cannot guarantee that the same space will be available so you may need to move rooms.
If it would be unsafe for you to stay by your child’s bedside, for instance on intensive care or high dependency units, we will arrange somewhere to stay for two parents in one of our Family Accommodation Units.
GOSH Patient Hotel
We can offer somewhere to stay the night before a day or inpatient admission. This is in the Patient Hotel in Weston House on Great Ormond Street (opposite the main hospital site).
Staying here means that families can come to London the day before, have a good night’s sleep and then cross the road to the main hospital in time for their child’s admission. We give priority to families who live outside the M25.
If Weston House if fully booked, we will make sure you have somewhere to stay in the local area – we will tell you this when you check in at reception

The Op will presumably have been given this information beforehand hence the 4 night hotel pre booked.

@MyDeftDuckWe travelled by train. We were meant to leave today but unexpectedly staying longer as he operation went awry x

I hope your son recovers soon.

I guess the problem is that every patient at GOSH is a child and therefore most will have 2 concerned parents. There simply won't be the capacity to accommodate everyone.

Perhaps you can stay with your son during the week and your husband return home. At the weekend he could switch over to being with your son and you either stay in the hotel or return home to rest for a while.

@ReadingSoManyThreads4-5 hours by car. 2.5 hours by train. Hardly all over the show. Different methods of travel x

London has lots of accomadation. Either your dp books somewhere or goes home. As for food if its the same as other childrens hospitals iv stayed in you ask nurse to keep an eye for 10mins and nip to shop/canteen or get a delivery to the ward by deliveroo or such like.

Youth hostels are usually cheap in london and all ages stay

You said you were 2.5 hours away…

Your husband needs to go home and get back to work. He can pick you and your son up when your son is discharged.

OH works there and drives in every day. He parks just off Queens Rd. Doesnt take an hour on the bus to the hospital, Ive done this trip a few times.

Get dp to try here

https://staygenerator.com/hostels/london?utm_source=google-my-business&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=hostel-London

Ok, thanks for clarifying, that wasn't clear in your posts. So the choice is to either commute daily via train, or swap with each other every few days etc.

@oldmoutcider

As an absolute last resort solution, would you consider one bed in a 4 bed female dorm room whilst partner stays with your child overnight?

There's a bed available £190 for 5 nights, not ideal ofc but may be a short term solution?

@ACynicalDadThankfully we have our own room. We have paid for a hotel tonight and will try again tomorrow x

@ReadingSoManyThreads Commuting daily would be more expensive than staying in a hotel. We have paid for five nights at a hotel at the end of the road the hospital is on x

Have you considered a capsule hotel? They work out quite cheap if all you want to do is sleep there. Otherwise yes it’s rubbish but one of you basically has to book a hotel or stay with family/ friends.

In my hospital where we have been in a similar situation, accommodation was a bed chair next to the child’s bed so basically impossibly to have two parents there. Or you had to go and sleep in a children’s day surgery ward and be out by 6.30am. It’s just really difficult for the hospital to find space.

As others have said by tomorrow you’ll be able to ask about Ronald McDonald or other accommodation.

Sorry the operation didn't go to plan, and I hope your son's treatment now can put that right. In the NHS these days though it's difficult enough for patients to get care at the weekends, let alone help from the family accommodation team, and with stretched resources I'm sure you want those to go on patient care. Your partner is a grown adult and he will need to sort himself a hotel while you are on the ward. He's got the easy job. London is full of hotels or hotels, and the tube will easily get him from one of the cheaper places further out to Great Ormond St.

Im really surprised you expected both of you could stay. Can you imagine what it would be like if every child had more than one parent there?

you say that you can’t get food etc as you can’t leave your child, what about single parents? What do they do?

There isn't a plan because the hospital aren't responsible for every aspect of the wider situation of your son's hospital stay. They are there to treat and look after your son and they let one parent stay. It is rather entitled to expect more in my opinion.