Partner has nowhere to stay whilst I stay in hospital with our son who is recovering from a operation

[oldmoutcider]

Son has had an operation and we were due to stay four nights. Operation didn’t go as planned so we now in for the foreseeable. We had a hotel booked for him to stay at for four nights at a cost to ourselves whilst I stayed at the hospital but we need to stay longer and only one can stay by the bedside.
Hospital are now saying they have no accommodation for him. We are 2.5 hours from home. Any idea what we are expected to do?

@soupyspoonThe plan was to tag team but my son refused the idea of me leaving him so I have been staying here whilst partner stays at the hotel. Would rather son be happy. Thankfully he has slept through all the observations from
the nurses during the night x

It’s such a crap situation , the one parent rule, my
baby niece was in hospital several years ago , at st Thomas Evelina ( children’s hospital , also London ) and only one of them was allowed to stay , but my sister was so distraught they turned a blind eye to her husband staying on the chair after he begged and pleaded with them to allow him to stay too , they also had a couple
of nights in the Ronald McDonald houses mentioned .
This was several years ago now though, so things may have changed .

This is the capsule hotel- has availability tonight but I know you’re sorted today. It’s £40 ish. Says a dormitory but in fact you’ve got a bed behind a lockable door.

@ScarfitwereNot entitled at all. Bigger things going on in the world. Unfortunately sicker children than my son. I know all this. But we were told we would be able to have family accommodation to keep us all together and this has not happened. I don’t expect to be put up in a hotel. Family accommodation is just that. To keep families together far from home without the cost of commuting daily or paying for hotels x

Why the AF would he be expected to go home to work? As a parent of his child has had surgery and gone wrong of course he wants to be there and will be off on sick/stress leave? Would you leave your child and go to work? 5 hours away from them?

Hope your son makes a full recovery. Unfortunately the NHS isn't obliged to provide family accommodation, some hospitals provide basic overnight accommodation at their discretion, which they're doing for one parent.

I donate to GOSH, their booklet says they are always trying to increase accommodation for parents but is it limited and supply doesn't meet demand.

I hope your son is recovering well from the GA and sorry to read that operation was not as straightforward as planned. Am glad your husband has a bed for tonight at the hotel and hope you all get home soon. 💐

Totally understandable. My brother in law said in 20 years of knowing my sister the has never seen her so upset , and was staying with her unless police physically threw him out . It’s shit yes , but a child has 2 parents and they should
both be allowed to be around in these circumstances .
As I said my BIL slept in a chair upright for 2 nights . Sending you so much love OP xx

OP I don’t know what your budget is. But I had a look at air bnbs and I can find a room in a house, not too far away on the Piccadilly line (where Russell Sq tube near GOSH is) for under £300 for a week. Does that work? Not luxury but it’s a bedroom for the night for one of you.

2.5h by train but 5h driving. I suspect she lives quite close to me because I'd have similar timings.

Have you ever had a young child or baby in hospital ?
I’m guessing not 😔

Some of the responses on here seem a bit harsh.

Clearly the woman has had an awful week.

If you can't offer support or advice why comment? Just keep it moving.

Yeah sadly I think whoever told you that there was family accommodation wasn’t correct. Especially with the big London hospitals I don’t think it exists, save for the facilities provided by charities like McDonald houses.

The only other thing to mention is that GOSH is a short walk from Euston and King’s Cross so your DH could stay a little bit outside London overnight and commute in if this is going to be longer term. I’d consider Watford, which is only 20 mins from Euston on the train, or St Albans or Welwyn garden city similar into King’s Cross.

Also having been in a similar position, I’d really be trying to alternate with your DH when you can (wouldn’t your son be fine with you staying until he’s asleep then swapping), or you checking into somewhere in the early evening to catch up on some sleep- you can’t deal with a poorly child on no sleep. Oh and earplugs, eye mask and nice pillow for anyone trying to sleep in hospital.

OP isn't expecting for her partner to stay on the ward with her, she's hoping for hospital accommodation which is perfectly normal when your child has a long stay in a hospital which isn't local. That's why hospital accommodation exists so families can stay together as much as possible.

Single parents frequently go hungry, especially at weekends when not as much staff are around. They may get lucky and another parent who has a partner with them might help them out, even if it's just grabbing some toast for them. It's a reason why some hospitals feed at least one parent as well.

@HeartishAw thank you for looking. The problem we have is that because his operation didn’t go as planned we are just taking it day by day for his recovery so not wanting to book anything longer then a night or two x

Fingers crossed you all get home soon 🙏 ❤️

It is for families whose children are severely life threatening ill and who live more than a train ride away! Your dp can get the train home and come back the next day!

I'm sorry op, I totally get the overwhelming feeling of both needing to be there. Does your hospital not have a Ronald MacDonald? Or no spaces? I'm so grateful with DS we had this at BCH. I know quite a few parents spent the night in a chair in the parents room too

I'm sorry op, I totally get the overwhelming feeling of both needing to be there. Does your hospital not have a Ronald MacDonald? Or no spaces? I'm so grateful with DS we had this at BCH. I know quite a few parents spent the night in a chair in the parents room too

I'm sorry op, I totally get the overwhelming feeling of both needing to be there. Does your hospital not have a Ronald MacDonald? Or no spaces? I'm so grateful with DS we had this at BCH. I know quite a few parents spent the night in a chair in the parents room too

I'm sorry op, I totally get the overwhelming feeling of both needing to be there. Does your hospital not have a Ronald MacDonald? Or no spaces? I'm so grateful with DS we had this at BCH. I know quite a few parents spent the night in a chair in the parents room too

@GypsyQueeen Thank you! 😘

Not the point of the thread, I know, but were you really planning on taking your son home by train after his surgery?! Would GOSH even allow it? My DS had major spine surgery there last year and there’s no way they would have let him travel home by public transport.

OP, I see you have paid for a hotel again tonight, and so hopefully the accommodation office will be able to help you tomorrow. I suppose maybe it’s closed at the weekend because they don’t expect to suddenly need to sort accommodation then - they don’t really schedule surgery at the weekend, I don’t think, and they don’t have an A&E department, so they don’t really have unexpected admissions to cater for at the weekend.

I hope your DS recovers soon so you can all go home.

Sorry to hear this @oldmoutcider I remember your original post asking where to stay. There are a few Premier Inns dotted around
that are cheaper but they will involve travel. I don’t know your budget, but cheaper will be Kennington/elephant and castle and further out.

being told at 4pm on a Sunday a four hour drive from home that only one of us can stay has tipped me over the edge slightly x

But only one of you has been able to stay all week, yes?

If it's a 2.5 hour train ride-he could have been nearly home by now and have a night or two sleeping in his own bed, then can drive down to collect you both when DC can come out.