Best part of being childfree

[Mintgum]

Whats the best part of being childfree.
I chose not to have children knew from an early age i never wanted them.
But i have been ask why not whats so good not having them my reply was whats good with having them.
I like my life i like doing what i like i love my freedom.
I have no intrerest in schools finger painting teen dramas i also like sleep.
I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.
My sister didnt like my reply.
And told me im missing out on what love really feels like.
I replied with.
I'm really not missing out on anything.
You're the one that had kids in your late 40s and all you want is help.
And now im in the doghouse because i was rude.
My family all know dont ask me to baby sit because it won't happen.

I think people without children are in a good place to focus on their health and social networks to ensure a healthy and happy old age.

I guess because there's no site where people who don't have children can talk - there's no Notmumsnet.

You do know which board you're on? A lot of people would classify me as old. I have zero regrets about my choice of being child free.

Thank you.

Can this be taken into account as a further request that the board be removed from Active? The disclaimer posted on the board and on every thread is having little to no effect and it feels like MNHQ is having to post something like this on every single thread.

here I find myself your continued presence doesn't look like some kind of accident to me.

No thank you. As I said upthread, I've seen the effect grandchildren have had on the lives of my friends. Not for me.

My daughter doesn't want children because she simply doesn't like them. Thirty years ago I would have said to her 'You'll regret it if you don't have one child and I will help you all I can with it'. Nowadays, I am relieved not to be a grandparent when I look at all the misery around with estrangement, difficult in laws, all these child care rules, all the 'elf and safty, screen time, tummy time, healthy school lunch boxes, endless activities, horrible children to play with, the word play date - the list is endless. I am enjoying my dotage and my daughter is enjoying a very high flying and successful academic career with a fabulous salary.

I am free to look after myself meticulously - that means I have time for yoga, strength training, cardio, meditation, learning a new skill, and cooking the most healthiest food. I predict with kids you’d need to at least choose one or two of those things to focus on at the most. Another reason, I don’t cope well with worry - my friend has an adult child who suffers with debilitating anxiety and as a result has no relationships or quality of life - my friend feels on the edge with worry for her future.

Agree. Please consider this again.

As someone who is childless rather than child free I find this disgusting to say.

I try to think of the positives of not having had children as it helps me cope with not being able to, but comments like this sound very superior. Plus, there is no guarantee your family will have anything to do with you when you are a lot older.

I don't like my sister much. She doesn't like me much either.

I don't see any reason to engage with her any more than I do.

It hasn't stopped me having a positive relationship with my niece though we don't see a lot of each other.

Again an unpleasant comment. As someone childless rather than childfree this type of comment makes me worry more about getting old.

Why are you on this board if you have children?

Of course I won't. I'm simply trying to point out to this person who wants to gloat on a parent forum about how great their child free life is that I won't always be this way.

Why is celebrating the benefits of child free life on a child free board"gloating"? Have you accused any of the parents who have posted on this thread about how lovely their child free life is of gloating? If you see child free women posting about how great their lives are as gloating, that suggests to me that you are not entirely happy with your decision to have children.

It’s the same on the other boards for specific groups.

MN, if you took us out of Active we could still point childfree / childless women over here. It would just mean that we’d be a lot less likely to get tone-deaf or irrelevant posts from parents who don’t realise that this is a space for women without kids.

Of course they are darling.🤣

You will be lonely. You can't say you won't regret it because you arnt there yet. That is when your decision will come home to roost.

And you can’t say she WILL regret it!
Go and reflect on why you are so judgemental and think you know so much about other people’s lives. Happy, fulfilled people don’t make comments like this.

If you see child free women posting about how great their lives are as gloating, that suggests to me that you are not entirely happy with your decision to have children.

I always think similar. It says a lot about parents and how they feel about their life choices when they lash out at childfree women.

To those saying cleaning up poo etc etc is only temporary, this is true for most people but not all. Even if something is temporary you still get to be happy you don't have to do it too! Some people become carers for their children.

Then there is this study >40% of parents with disabled children have considered suicide. https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/news/2024/more-than-40-of-parents-with-disabled-children-have-thought-about-suicide-study
I've seen studies about modern parents in general being stressed.

We shouldn't shame people for what they see to be the benefits of their choice.

My cats are dearer to me than any child could ever be.

My cats mean more to me than any human being. I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about that.

I'd rather have a cat than a child.

Comedycook · Today 13:01
So why does wishing to remain childfree also means you need to cut yourself off from family or children who are in your family or distance yourself? I don't understand.
Nothing to understand or not understand - I didn't say being CF also means cutting off family. I have not cut them off. I don't get on with mine so I just don't spend a lot of time with them.

Or are you saying that childfree people also effectively want nothing to do with their wider family? I'm confused.
Again - I did not say this. I am confused!

Surely you can be family oriented, love the kids in your family AND remain childfree?
Yes and I'm sure many many CF people are.

I'm not sure what was confusing about my message that was quoted. My message was about me and the other people without kids who don't like their families and don't spend much time with them. It was not about ALL cf people.

I was saying that not all families get along. No one should feel obligated to spend their precious time with people they don't get on with, family or not.

I do not get on with my parent or siblings. Siblings do not get on with parent either and they don't spend a lot of time with each other despite all living within a 10 mile radius. My siblings do have children and I don't think their children sees their grandparent often. We see each other at events, will message on birthdays, but that's about it. BUT THIS IS MY FAMILY DYNAMIC!!!! I understand that not everyone's family is way.

I haven't tagged or quoted that poster because I don't understand why they don't understand that not everyone has the same set up. I don't want a back and forth.

I agree, I picked up on that too. Catty comments often have an underlying theme of envy, don't they?
Also deliberately misunderstanding the thought behind this thread (benefits rather than reasons), despite so many reminders, sounds like some just want a fight.

My cat stopped me doing something silly when my husband left me. Go somewhere else with your snide comments.