Best part of being childfree

[Mintgum]

Whats the best part of being childfree.
I chose not to have children knew from an early age i never wanted them.
But i have been ask why not whats so good not having them my reply was whats good with having them.
I like my life i like doing what i like i love my freedom.
I have no intrerest in schools finger painting teen dramas i also like sleep.
I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.
My sister didnt like my reply.
And told me im missing out on what love really feels like.
I replied with.
I'm really not missing out on anything.
You're the one that had kids in your late 40s and all you want is help.
And now im in the doghouse because i was rude.
My family all know dont ask me to baby sit because it won't happen.

I don’t want any pets but one of my friends LOVES cat and has a lot of them. She often complains they’re ‘worse’ or ‘harder’ than her children. Usually before she starts telling me I should get a cat which doesn’t help convince me 😂

Lots of parents say having X pet is ‘like’ having a child/they love them like a child/they’re more work than a child/it’s harder than having a child. I see it all the time on Mumsnet alone and people never start being nasty to them like they do if someone without children says it.

Some people just enjoy bringing hate to others, don't they?!
There are women on this thread who wanted kids, desperately, and couldn't have them. And you decided mere judgement about them now wasn't enough, but you had to threaten them with how shit their later lives will be because of their fertility. Now I'm not one of them, thankfully being childfree was my decision to make. And it's one I've always been very happy in but it makes me fucking angry everyone some twat decides to piss on my decisions like this. It's completely unnecessary.
You might have regretted it, you might have been lonely but you can't possibly know anyone else would be. If this is the bile you spit out in your life then I can't imagine that we'll be the ones finding ourselves lonely as we get older.
Seriously, what on earth was your intention coming to the 'without children' boards to tell people without children 'your decision will come home to roost'?

Honestly? Yes. That’s exactly what I do. I stay away from the children at weddings because they irritate me and they are often …sticky. I meet my friends with kids outside the home and just on their own. I find children a distraction from the people I do want to see. Most of my friends are also childfree but I am being honest about how I manage myself around those who do have kids.

It’s not much of an exaggeration to say I simply don’t notice children when I’m out and about.

To save anyone the trouble of typing: no, I am actually a very nice friendly person; I am not a witch; I just don’t have a maternal bone in my body.

Same. I have six nieces and nephews and I don't really notice or think about them much. It's alien to me when people talk about loving their nieces and nephews. I just don't like the company of children.

Some teenage boys just threw a stolen apple at my husband in the street and I thought... Yeah. Not for me.

I'd be quite happy if children went away somewhere to be raised to adulthood separately.

Same here. If I do see my friends' children I only do it for limited periods. They seem quite nice to me but I don't want to engage with children for any length of time. Thankfully even if I saw more of my family there aren't any children in it.

Another benefit of childfreedom. You don’t have to do housework if you don’t feel like it. There’s no obligation to keep on top of it for the sake of others.

Also absolutely no chance of winding up with selfish, whiny, entitled teens/young adults (they don’t seem at all unusual on Mumsnet).

Having the house entirely to myself is definitely a benefit of being child free.

I know someone like you. He’s now 15 He’s always hated children, actually says he ‘hates’ them. Wouldn’t play with them from toddler groups all the way through school, didn’t want play dates or to go to birthday parties etc. He would make a beeline for any older people his whole life. As a little boy if there were some 70 year olds sitting at the bus stop he’d go running up to chat and be in his element, if there was another child there he’d hide behind his mum. He’s happy now he’s older he can hide in his room when kids go to his house to visit but if older people visit he loves to spend time with them.

No don't worry PinkArt @theboywantstogoupthefield went on to clarify that the judgement and threats were not directed at the those who want but cannot have children. That bile she spewed out is reserved for us that have chosen not reproduce. She also ended that message by saying we should all be kind...

It’s a child free board.

hie can you possibly predict people’s regrets! Don’t be so silly.

will your old age be sad lonely and unfulfilled of your children emigrate? Will you emotionally blackmail them to live nearby and visit frequently because you can’t be alone?

I have aunts and uncles who never had children. One aunt in her nineties. She is loaded - and advantage of having a stellar career which wouldn’t have been possible for her in the 1970s if she had had children.

she travels (less now granted),spends time with her younger siblings, nieces and nephews, is still in the board of one local charity and has had a full, rich and meaningful life. She has achieved more than most

I am so sorry your outlook on life is so narrow and limited that you can’t imagine someone having different priorities, goals and dreams than you do. How boring and unimaginative you must be.

life is full of paths and choices and unexpected turns. It’s exhilarating.

It still affects us though.

@Squarecentimetre interesting! I’m more ‘they just don’t exist to me’ than hating but I understand the sentiment. I’m thinking back now and I have no strong memories of playing with other children until perhaps around 10 when the games were more ‘making up detailed plays’. I’ve got loads of photos of my birthday parties with school friends sharing the cheese and pineapple hedgehog but I don’t really remember them…

I didn't like children when I was a child myself. I preferred talking to adults. If I was invited to parties I'd find the nearest book and read that.

Exactly. People like that have such a blinkered view of life and will say hurtful things but they don't think about the wider damage they're inflicting.

Maybe it’s something you’re born with! I love kids and always wanted to be with other kids but I never played with dolls as if I was their mum because I always knew I didn’t want children. Maybe (some) people are born wanting/not wanting kids and liking/not liking/hating kids and it’s just a personality thing like being a reader or loving/hating maths or loving cricket.

That was the line JD Vance's wife used, wasn't it after the cat lady comments. Don't worry, it's only the childfree he meant to be rude about 😂
The you'll be lonely when you're old line does always fascinate me though, given it exists alongside how selfish we are for not having kids. So not having them is selfish but having them so you have someone who feels obliged to talk to you in 40 years time isn't!
I hope this thread hasn't pissed on anyone's chips too much. I'm always pleased this board exists as it should be a safe place away from the 'why are you even on Mumsnet?!' posts (um, I landed here after penis beaker went viral and stayed because I love the insights you get into other people's lives) but some people just can't help themselves.

Same with the bloody Pope. He keeps banging on about how selfish people are who don’t have kids, or who have pets and not kids. Not realising how his comments hurt those the god he believes in didn’t see fit to bless with children.

I never had or wanted a baby doll when I was a child - this was in the era when 'Tiny Tears' were all the rage, and later the Cabbage Patch dolls. Baby dolls of the 70s/80s were spectacularly ugly! I did have dolls but mostly porcelain faux Victorian ones, as I was only really interested if they had beautiful clothes. I used to make my own peg dolls and dress them in clothes copied from a book we had, 'Kings and Queens of England' - I still have 'Mary Queen of Scots' somewhere.

I was desperate for a cat throughout my childhood and the first thing I did when I bought my own house was to get a kitten. My parents, having denied me a cat for 18 years despite tears and pleading, acquired two kittens a few months after I'd moved out for good ...

Fine words from a man who has chosen a vocation which requires him to be celibate ... 🙄

Me too.

What about when your nieces and nephews grow up and are adults?

As someone with 3DC I feel qualified to comment on the poo question (certainly more than someone who has chosen to have an only child). I would say that snot is worse than poo. I only once had a child throw poo at me, I had small children wipe their snot on my clothes multiple times. And while all 3 of my DC were potty trained with 7 years of the first being born, the youngest is 11 and still has explosive snotty sneezes, although at least he's been able to wipe and blow his nose himself for a few years. Still minging though. Poo is much more contained but I agree it's all gross. Small children are just all round grubby.

Looking at my family, friends and colleagues who don't have children I'd say the serious answer is that the best thing about not having children is not having a bomb going off in your relationship. The couples I know who are child free are less tired, have more money and able to devote more time to themselves and their relationship and so have happier marriages than those who have children.

Other more frivolous things:

1. my childfree siblings are considered the 'cool' aunts and uncles by my teenagers
2. not having to listen to children talking about Taylor Swift/minecraft/flags/Percy Jackson/Harry Potter/football/GCSEs etc etc for hours and hours and hours
3. Not having to choose restaurants on holiday based on whether on not they serve food your fussy child will eat

Sorry but that made me laugh about kids being sticky! I am a mum but I'm really not keen on other people's children. A relative has a DD 18months, last time I saw her she was chewing a toy and dribbling all over her hands and she made a grab for my bag, which I quickly moved. She also had a runny nose and I was hoping she didn't want to give me a kiss.
I really understand how you feel about sticky!

I'm not sure what you mean by "how does it work practically?"

I don't have children of my own, and I don't spend time with anyone else's. There is nothing to try and make "work".

What do you do at family events or if you want to socialise or pop over to a relatives to catch up? Do you ignore their kids?

I don't "do" family events and never have. I don't visit relatives. The only friends I have who have kids of their own I meet in social settings where the kids aren't present, the pub mainly.

What happens when they grow up...are they suddenly acceptable to spend time with?

It's not a question of "acceptable". I don't like the company of children because I find them both boring and irritating at the same time. I wouldn't keep the company of adults I found boring and irritating, so why would I put up with children? If those children are not boring, irritating adults later in their lives, sure, why wouldn't I enjoy their company?

I'm well aware of the fact children are "people too", but so are all adults, and nobody finds it remotely strange when people decide to pick and choose which adults they will spend time with.

No.