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MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

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Original poster

Best part of being childfree

531 replies

Mintgum · 13/09/2024 12:18

Whats the best part of being childfree.
I chose not to have children knew from an early age i never wanted them.
But i have been ask why not whats so good not having them my reply was whats good with having them.
I like my life i like doing what i like i love my freedom.
I have no intrerest in schools finger painting teen dramas i also like sleep.
I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.
My sister didnt like my reply.
And told me im missing out on what love really feels like.
I replied with.
I'm really not missing out on anything.
You're the one that had kids in your late 40s and all you want is help.
And now im in the doghouse because i was rude.
My family all know dont ask me to baby sit because it won't happen.

OP posts:
Squarecentimetre · 13/09/2024 23:02

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 22:52

I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.

I can get up when I want with nobody bothering me or requiring me to clean up their bodily fluid

I've also seen threads where people talk about babies having exploding nappies, poonamis, and when their being held their kid just pooped down them. Also seen threads where people talk about their kids poojg up the wardrobe. Basically it all just seems repulsive. They tell it like it's a cute funny story but it disgusts me.

And the poo. I could not handle the poo. I know, people say it's different when it's your own kid; but I could shovel oomska from any animal in the world, not a problem. Don't know why kiddie crap seems so much worse to me. Maybe I was traumatised

I think these responses are pretty telling. It’s not this normal to be afraid of a little kids poo

I don’t think she is afraid, I think she thinks it’s gross.

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:06

@Squarecentimetre clearly that wasn’t one post, it was several from throughout the thread 🙄

of course poo is gross. Most people aren’t so OCD that they avoid having a child (where it will impact you 1-2 years max) though. It’s such a minor insignificance in a lifetime of loving someone

Mukey · 13/09/2024 23:08

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 22:52

I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.

I can get up when I want with nobody bothering me or requiring me to clean up their bodily fluid

I've also seen threads where people talk about babies having exploding nappies, poonamis, and when their being held their kid just pooped down them. Also seen threads where people talk about their kids poojg up the wardrobe. Basically it all just seems repulsive. They tell it like it's a cute funny story but it disgusts me.

And the poo. I could not handle the poo. I know, people say it's different when it's your own kid; but I could shovel oomska from any animal in the world, not a problem. Don't know why kiddie crap seems so much worse to me. Maybe I was traumatised

I think these responses are pretty telling. It’s not this normal to be afraid of a little kids poo

I don't understand what you mean here. Why is it telling? If someone doesn't want to have kids and one of the reasons is because they don't want to deal with their poo why is this a bad and telling thing? I don't want to deal with a dogs shit so I don't have a dog. I'm not afraid of it though. And none of these people are afraid poo either. They just don't want to deal with it.
All those quotes you've copied are from different people. It's not one person going on about poo. Mentioning that they don't like poo once each is not "not normal".
Besides this thread is about the benefits of being child free. And let's face it not dealing with another person's bodily fluid is a benefit. I don't know any parent who looks forward to changing a shitty nappy no matter how much they love their kids.

Mukey · 13/09/2024 23:10

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:06

@Squarecentimetre clearly that wasn’t one post, it was several from throughout the thread 🙄

of course poo is gross. Most people aren’t so OCD that they avoid having a child (where it will impact you 1-2 years max) though. It’s such a minor insignificance in a lifetime of loving someone

I'm childfree not by choice. The potential to deal with poo never put me off trying. But it's still a benefit of being childfree that I don't have to deal with it.

Squarecentimetre · 13/09/2024 23:10

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:06

@Squarecentimetre clearly that wasn’t one post, it was several from throughout the thread 🙄

of course poo is gross. Most people aren’t so OCD that they avoid having a child (where it will impact you 1-2 years max) though. It’s such a minor insignificance in a lifetime of loving someone

But the thread is asking what’s the best part of being childfree not why are you childfree.

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:14

Ok sure. If the best part of being child free is not having to change a nappy for 1.5 years then….i guess…..good luck to you?

Squarecentimetre · 13/09/2024 23:16

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:14

Ok sure. If the best part of being child free is not having to change a nappy for 1.5 years then….i guess…..good luck to you?

For some people it will be, they may have OCD or a germ phobia or a sensitive gag reflex or sense of smell etc. or maybe just grossed out by it, everyone will have their own ‘best thing ever’ about everything and I don’t think trying to ‘shame’ people for theirs is very nice or productive. You could just add your own reasons and ignore theirs if you don’t like them.

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:17

I don't understand what you mean here. Why is it telling? If someone doesn't want to have kids and one of the reasons is because they don't want to deal with their poo why is this a bad and telling thing? I don't want to deal with a dogs shit so I don't have a dog. I'm not afraid of it though. And none of these people are afraid poo either. They just don't want to deal with it.

because a dogs poo is….a fucking dog’s poo. Your child’s is pretty different plus it’s an issue for like 1.5 years. And there’s clearly a huge amount more to having a child than poo. But yet the main focus of these comments is on this really minor part of parenthood. A really minuscule minor thing. Almost like people are either trying to find something or have some kind of OCD

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:20

For some people it will be, they may have OCD or a germ phobia or a sensitive gag reflex or sense of smell etc. or maybe just grossed out by it, everyone will have their own ‘best thing ever’ about everything and I don’t think trying to ‘shame’ people for theirs is very nice or productive. You could just add your own reasons and ignore theirs if you don’t like them

ok. I guess I’d suggest people sought therapy rather than massively restricting their lives for a tiny reason of ‘poo, but fair dos.

Squarecentimetre · 13/09/2024 23:22

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:20

For some people it will be, they may have OCD or a germ phobia or a sensitive gag reflex or sense of smell etc. or maybe just grossed out by it, everyone will have their own ‘best thing ever’ about everything and I don’t think trying to ‘shame’ people for theirs is very nice or productive. You could just add your own reasons and ignore theirs if you don’t like them

ok. I guess I’d suggest people sought therapy rather than massively restricting their lives for a tiny reason of ‘poo, but fair dos.

I don’t think you’ve understood the thread. They’re not saying that’s the reason they haven’t had a child, they’re saying if they wrote a list about all the ways being childfree is great it would be at the top.

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:24

I don’t think you’ve understood the thread. They’re not saying that’s the reason they haven’t had a child, they’re saying if they wrote a list about all the ways being childfree is great it would be at the top

no i very much understand. If, of all the reasons to be child free, changing your child’s nappy ranks as the top then…seek help and have a child

Mukey · 13/09/2024 23:25

But why does it matter to you? Why does it matter what someone finds a good thing about not having kids?
You do know there's absolutely no guarantee that a child will be out of nappies at 1.5 years right? My friends autistic son is 9 and still wears nappies.
Are you one of those people that think that people with no maternal drive at all should have kids they don't want because they'll learn to love them and learn to deal with the poo and then it will all be fine?
No one on here has said the sole reason they don't have or want kids is due to dealing with poo. It's literally just a benefit. But even if it WAS someone's sole reason, that's still totally fine! If someone's reason was because they would rather travel the world alone forever is that an acceptable reason to you? Or because they want to save their money and decorate their house in gold? It doesn't matter what their reason is.

I wanted kids. I spent years trying and thousands of pounds trying. I still think not dealing with poo and puke, getting as much sleep as I want and having more money is a benefit!

Edit to add: was meant to quote @Wondergoldenlightbut it didn't work

Mukey · 13/09/2024 23:28

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:24

I don’t think you’ve understood the thread. They’re not saying that’s the reason they haven’t had a child, they’re saying if they wrote a list about all the ways being childfree is great it would be at the top

no i very much understand. If, of all the reasons to be child free, changing your child’s nappy ranks as the top then…seek help and have a child

But they don't want a child!! I don't know why some people find that so hard to understand??
I wanted them but I can still understand that others don't!
If someone was saying they desperately wanted them and was too scared to for some reason your replies would make sense. But they just don't want children!

Squarecentimetre · 13/09/2024 23:28

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:24

I don’t think you’ve understood the thread. They’re not saying that’s the reason they haven’t had a child, they’re saying if they wrote a list about all the ways being childfree is great it would be at the top

no i very much understand. If, of all the reasons to be child free, changing your child’s nappy ranks as the top then…seek help and have a child

But they don’t want a child, they’re childfree, so they’ve chosen not to have a child. And on the list of all the things they love about that choice is that they don’t have to deal with poo. Even if they think that’s the best reason because they have ocd and they were magically cured of it, they’d still be childfree and the second best thing would just move up to be the best thing, they still wouldn’t have a child.

Squarecentimetre · 13/09/2024 23:29

Mukey · 13/09/2024 23:28

But they don't want a child!! I don't know why some people find that so hard to understand??
I wanted them but I can still understand that others don't!
If someone was saying they desperately wanted them and was too scared to for some reason your replies would make sense. But they just don't want children!

Show quote history

Jinx 😂

It’s the same as I don’t want a dog, would never have one. Some of the benefits for me on not having a dog are not having to deal with poo and not having to do walks in the cold. They’re not the reasons I don’t want a dog though, they’re just small benefits to my choice not to have a dog.

Mukey · 13/09/2024 23:30

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:24

I don’t think you’ve understood the thread. They’re not saying that’s the reason they haven’t had a child, they’re saying if they wrote a list about all the ways being childfree is great it would be at the top

no i very much understand. If, of all the reasons to be child free, changing your child’s nappy ranks as the top then…seek help and have a child

This is also where you're still not understanding. You've said reasons again. These are not REASONS. These are BENEFITS.

musixa · 13/09/2024 23:36

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:24

I don’t think you’ve understood the thread. They’re not saying that’s the reason they haven’t had a child, they’re saying if they wrote a list about all the ways being childfree is great it would be at the top

no i very much understand. If, of all the reasons to be child free, changing your child’s nappy ranks as the top then…seek help and have a child

Oh, for goodness sake!

People are allowed to say not changing a nappy is a highlight of being childfree. And it might not just be for 1.5 years - I've heard people at work talking about potty-training children much older than that.

And it's not just nappies. Children are well known for vomiting a lot, and not necessarily having the life experience to know when it's about to happen and get themselves to the loo. I really don't think I could cope with cleaning up human puke that wasn't my own - it's not dry and tidy, like, say, cat puke.

WandaFishy99 · 13/09/2024 23:45

Mintgum · 13/09/2024 12:18

Whats the best part of being childfree.
I chose not to have children knew from an early age i never wanted them.
But i have been ask why not whats so good not having them my reply was whats good with having them.
I like my life i like doing what i like i love my freedom.
I have no intrerest in schools finger painting teen dramas i also like sleep.
I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.
My sister didnt like my reply.
And told me im missing out on what love really feels like.
I replied with.
I'm really not missing out on anything.
You're the one that had kids in your late 40s and all you want is help.
And now im in the doghouse because i was rude.
My family all know dont ask me to baby sit because it won't happen.

My friend grew up in a big family, very poor, often little to eat and had to shout loud to be heard. Loving parents definitely but not an easy start in life.
She married but made sure her DH knew she most definitely never wanted kids and he was fine. She couldn't stand the thought of a repetition of her childhood.
They love their holidays together and their separate hobbies. They have several holidays per year. She loves "things", art, antiques etc. They are very happy.

musixa · 13/09/2024 23:56

She loves "things", art, antiques etc.

Another benefit of bring childfree - you can spend as long as you like poking round antique shops and ancient monuments and other things that children typically find boring, judging by the parents I see being mithered by their children to hurry up when I am out and about.

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:57

There’s a ton of reasons not to have a child I just think it’s weird that people are talking so much about puke and poo which are incredibly short term transient things.

And it's not just nappies. Children are well known for vomiting a lot, and not necessarily having the life experience to know when it's about to happen and get themselves to the loo. I really don't think I could cope with cleaning up human puke that wasn't my own - it's not dry and tidy, like, say, cat puke.

another one. I do have a child. She’s been sick once in her life. As if this is a reason not to have a child. It screams fear and phobia.

musixa · 14/09/2024 00:03

Wondergoldenlight · 13/09/2024 23:57

There’s a ton of reasons not to have a child I just think it’s weird that people are talking so much about puke and poo which are incredibly short term transient things.

And it's not just nappies. Children are well known for vomiting a lot, and not necessarily having the life experience to know when it's about to happen and get themselves to the loo. I really don't think I could cope with cleaning up human puke that wasn't my own - it's not dry and tidy, like, say, cat puke.

another one. I do have a child. She’s been sick once in her life. As if this is a reason not to have a child. It screams fear and phobia.

Edited

It's not a reason, it's a benefit!

Your daughter is lucky to be so healthy and presumably not a sufferer of travel sickness, migraine, reflux etc.

Wondergoldenlight · 14/09/2024 00:06

if you’re being pedantic. There’s a ton of benefits to not having a child. I just think it’s weird that people are talking so much about puke and poo which are incredibly short term transient things.

Wondergoldenlight · 14/09/2024 00:07

Ps migraine in kids is virtually non existent, reflux not beyond a 6 month year old and travel sickness a simple tablet.

WildFlowerBees · 14/09/2024 00:08

I'm glad there are those who really want children because if everyone were like me the population would have died out!

I knew from 14 I didn't want kids and as I got older I heard over and over from various people via the work I did that 'if I could do it all again I wouldn't have kids, don't get me wrong I love them and don't wish them away etc'

I love my free time, I love my work my freedom and life with my dh in general.

Kudos to all parents because parenting looks relentless tiring and at times very boring.

Squarecentimetre · 14/09/2024 00:12

Wondergoldenlight · 14/09/2024 00:06

if you’re being pedantic. There’s a ton of benefits to not having a child. I just think it’s weird that people are talking so much about puke and poo which are incredibly short term transient things.

You’re the one talking ‘so much’ about it. People can choose anything they want to be a ‘benefit’ to being childfree and people have given other things that are benefits to them.