Best part of being childfree

[Mintgum]

Whats the best part of being childfree.
I chose not to have children knew from an early age i never wanted them.
But i have been ask why not whats so good not having them my reply was whats good with having them.
I like my life i like doing what i like i love my freedom.
I have no intrerest in schools finger painting teen dramas i also like sleep.
I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.
My sister didnt like my reply.
And told me im missing out on what love really feels like.
I replied with.
I'm really not missing out on anything.
You're the one that had kids in your late 40s and all you want is help.
And now im in the doghouse because i was rude.
My family all know dont ask me to baby sit because it won't happen.

I can’t believe some people are offended by this thread 😂 is is possible to report unwanted comments when the posters at the top have said multiple times ‘childfree people only’ because I see comments from people with children all the time! So unhelpful for this board. And pretty unkind to invade a safe space.

And I know I’m one of those people with kids, I’m not coming in here to make awful comments or give my views on being childfree. I also want to add my solidarity that some of the posts from other parents are completely ridiculous.

I've always known that I didn't want children.

When I was in my 30s I had a conversation with a family member who was adamant that I was making a huge mistake. But the only real argument he could come up with was that I was fine then in my 30s with all my travelling, friends etc but that I would regret it in my 50s and be lonely and bored.

I'm now in my 50s and guess what? 😁

He also tried the whole 'families look after each' other argument. He and his wife are now in their 80s and 3 out of 4 of their children live overseas so aren't exactly on hand to do shopping and regular visits.

And what a terrible, selfish reason to have children, in case I'm lonely one day!

It's right up there with "who'll wipe your arse when you're ninety"! Wouldn't you just love knowing you were bred to be a body servant to your incontinent mother (because this is never thrown at men)?

Thank you for sharing.
Have you come across Adrienne Rich's work? In Of Woman Born she talks about maternal ambivalence - 'the great silence' as she calls it. It's a dense but fabulous book.

The thread in AIBU about the term childfree is absolutely insane isn’t it. So much deranged thinking.

Yep! I’m sorry I’m smarter than a penguin and that upsets some of you but it’s my life so… 😂

The bit about comparing ‘childfree’ to ‘Japanese-free’ or ‘disabled-free’ is bonkers.

Doesn’t surprise me - a poster on a different thread compared the childfree to Judenfrei a couple of weeks ago. I reported it but MNHQ said it was fine(!).

Insane.

Actually just had to Google that to double check that "Judenfrei" actually meant what I thought it meant. It did. Terrible. Shame on that poster. And shame on MN for allowing it.

Agreed.

And, for what feels like the 60th time I've raised this, these concerned people never seem to pop up whenever parents are having a discussion about how burdened they're feeling, about how it'll be nice to have a childfree afternoon coming up, or about how they don't like any kids except their own.

I mean, they're talking about real children, so it should be even worse, shouldn't it?

But no. It's only those without kids who are akin to ethnic cleansers or inadvertently increasing the risk of child abuse. How strange.

It simply has to be that on some level they’re deeply unhappy as parents & taking it out on us, because they think we have the life they secretly want.

Like the occasional digs about long haul flights, spotless carpets & white sofas.

What? That’s so incredibly offensive!

I'm really struggling to understand how that post has got so huge. Whatever happened to live and let live?

That doesn't apply to womwn without kids. Otherwise we wouldn't have 900 posts thread about what worst people told us 🤷

Women non conforming to usual roles - behaviour, looks etc, are generally punished. Iirc even in crime, so why not in normal life

If they were happy with their life choices they wouldn't even think about ours. Sucks to be them I guess.

Interesting article saying the idea of remaining childfree is becoming more popular amongst Gen Z:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g7x5kl5l8o

These are all millenials, no? Edit to add, I meant why didn't they interview more widely. Millenials and Gen z. Sorry🤦

I read interest interview about similar in India but can't find it now, dang

I'm guessing fertility rates weren't falling, or not falling at such significant rates, at the time Gen X and older were at the childbearing stage. It's quite rare that I meet childfree contemporaries.

Definitely, I’m late Gen X and I know very few women my age who don’t have children. Nowhere near the one in 5 that keeps being quoted.

For me today what I'm loving about it:

Being able to lie in bed and read my book. Its quiet and peaceful.

Having a holiday to look forward to in Dec (going alone) and another in Jan (with friends.)

Knowing I can do with the day or not do with the day, whatever I like.

Being able to consider moving without it really impacting anyone (would impact family) but not children.

This thinking is strange too as there are so many people and posters who have children who don't look after them in old age (or who are caring for adult children/grandchildren in old age).

For me this week it's been the fact I've been able to be fully there for my friend after her husband left her (we are both child free and she did the same for me after my exh left in January). I wouldn't be able to offer her my full support if I had childcare responsibilities.

Small children are so boring I truly don't understand how intelligent women manage it (except for the nanny hiring ones).

I wouldn’t go that far. I can perfectly well understand that a lot of women love spending time with their small children even if it’s very much not for me.

I spent the morning Christmas shopping including a lot of book browsing, had lunch out & then a lovely long afternoon nap with my cat. Good day.