As a mother...

[Ducksinthebath]

"As a mother..." seems to be how about how just about every opinion expressed to me about the Middle East situation seems to start at the moment.

Same for XL Bully issues, the recent party conferences and every blooming thought that comes out someone's head about the environment.

I feel like I'm in an echo chamber with Andrea Leadsom and it's irritating.

Ah, well perhaps if you hadn't ignored it you wouldn't have needed to ask your question and make yourself look a bit daft?

I've talked about my photographic memory on here before under various usernames so do feel free to check in with MN HQ if you think I'm lying

@looking4pup You're also fairly easy to spot.

Maybe deal with what people are actually saying in their arguments instead of focusing on a tiny portion of it.

Maybe if enough of us ask, posts from Childfree could not appear in Active (like posts from the Sex topic).

Maybe if enough of us ask, posts from Childfree could not appear in Active (like posts from the Sex topic).
That's not a bad idea. I strayed in here and posted before realising which board it was in, then edited to apologize.

FWIW I do actually agree with you about the arseholery from irrelevant "as a mother" inputs.

I've left a post in the Site Stuff section in case anyone wants to chip in with their views.

That was already discussed, most voted to leave it there so people can find it, otherwise many wouldn't know about the section

At the time I voted to leave it in active, so that new childfree people or existing childfree members who couldn't didn't know about the topic could be made aware of it and find it easily

But if every thread is going to devolve into a section of parents coming in to berate us for daring to have views to the point where we can't even continue a discussion between ourselves I might change my vote

That said I am happy to go with the majority opinon

I'm not sure what phrase I would use instead but I don't think childfree is the right one. In the same way that childfree and childless are very different to each other I think childfree is different to 'I haven't had kids yet' or 'that period of time before I had kids'. Being childfree is an active choice I have made in my life and to me a parent telling me they used to be childfree reflects a lack of understanding of that choice.

'In the same way that childfree and childless are very different to each other I think childfree is different to 'I haven't had kids yet' or 'that period of time before I had kids'. Being childfree is an active choice'

Totally agree

I think there's a big difference between someone who has yet to have kids and doesn't quite feel broody for them, but kids are a possibility in their lives and someone who has actively made the choice to not have children.

I've actively made the choice to not have children and therefore, I'm taking measures to ensure that I won't become pregnant. I'm not leaving it open to chance.

Thing is, there are some ways people's perspective changes after having kids.

Why take this as a comment on your life or experiences?

Thing is, this is still the childfree forum, despite you ignoring previous comments to that effect

Why take this as an opportunity to comment on how childfree people's life, experiences or thoughts?

I deliberately avoid the news because it makes my depression worse. Your ableist judgement of mentally-ill people is noted.

Concur. I was still at school when I decided that I didn't ever want marriage or children. This is the kind of active choice that constitutes being child-free, not being indifferent to having kids or not having fallen pregnant yet.

I was childfree for most of my adult life, and I used to think the same, as if I was being excluded for something or like it was a dig at me.

Now I have a son and when I think of it, it would actually be kind of weird if you went through any experience that huge and it didn't change you in some way. That petrifying feeling that something can happen to the person you care about more than yourself, so layered on top of the empathy everyone has is a reminder of ANOTHER bad thing that could happen to your child.

It's really not personal, it's definitely not a dig at strangers, it's people talking about their own lives. If someone was to say "as a cat owner, the speed limit on this road is far too high" and someone replied "oh WOW so you don't mind me, a human, getting run over?" or "Oh so you think I, a non-cat owner, want cats to get run over?" It's literally just someone talking about their own life from their own perspective.

*excluded from

Which part of this forum is for those without children didn't you understand?

I was childfree for most of my adult life, and I used to think the same, as if I was being excluded for something or like it was a dig at me

Any chance you could use that extra layer of empathy to understand how the childfree/less posters on here feel about that phrase, then?

I'm not even going to get into this 'I was childfree until I had children' business, either. It's been a bad day and an argument will make it worse.

Then it's probably useful for you to hear from people what is meant by it, so that you no longer assume it's about you.

You weren't childfree. You just hadn't had children yet.

This forum is for those who are childfree by choice and childless not by choice (aka people who do not have children and will never have children) to discuss their experiences and opinions.

That would be a no to the extra layer of empathy then...

What on earth drove you to come on a thread that hasn't been active for a few weeks just to add your extra opinion as if suddenly the childfree would fall into line because you explained it to them in easy to understand words?

Then it's probably useful for you to hear from people what is meant by it, so that you no longer assume it's about you

No, It isn't. And I'll decide what's useful for me to hear, and I'll assume what I like about whether things are about me or not, thanks. I'm an adult, I don't need someone making presumptuous comments about what's useful for me to hear. You can't speak for what people meant by it - you can only speak for you.

And this is the board for people without children.

I really don't get why you're so mad at the idea of mums talking about their own lives from their own perspective. It's really got nothing to do with you. If you want to internalise it then it's really nobody else's fault you get upset.

Good grief. Isn’t it amazing, @MrsDanversGlidesAgain , that we need a woman speaking as a mother to tell us what’s good for us, even on this very thread? It must be hard to go through life with so little self awareness.

@MsBattenburg - if you really can’t see what you’re doing wrong here, I despair. If you’re looking for a fight, try the pub later on.

Take the points you want to make to an appropriate board, please. Literally anywhere else on Mumsnet. This tiny little space isn’t for or about you. It takes a massive ego to feel you must insert yourself into a space where you have nothing of value to offer, so I’m sure you won’t be shy about joining or reviving discussions on other sections.