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MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

Original poster

Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

914 replies

derekdied · 09/07/2023 18:54

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

OP posts:
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16
TinyKittenPaw · 09/07/2023 19:06

That’s an awful comment. But believe me the judgements and assumptions come thick and fast if your a woman with kids too!

Thebigblueballoon · 09/07/2023 19:14

I haven’t had any bad comments per se, but if I decide not to drink on a night out/at a social occasion, they instantly assume I must be pregnant. 🙄

Flanksteak · 09/07/2023 19:39

Oh so many. The worst was probably ‘why do you even bother staying alive then?’.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 09/07/2023 20:35

I'm afraid my riposte would have been along the lines of 'At least I decided that I wasn't up to the responsibility, which I bet is more than most parents do.'

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 09/07/2023 20:36

TinyKittenPaw · 09/07/2023 19:06

That’s an awful comment. But believe me the judgements and assumptions come thick and fast if your a woman with kids too!

We're talking about childfree women on the childfree board.

KimberleyClark · 09/07/2023 20:45

TinyKittenPaw · 09/07/2023 19:06

That’s an awful comment. But believe me the judgements and assumptions come thick and fast if your a woman with kids too!

That comment is a bit tone deaf considering where you are posting.

Pissedoffpigeon · 09/07/2023 20:46

My mum would appear to think your life is utterly worthless if you don’t have children.
She told me recently how she’s thinks I’m weird for not having them. My youngest brother (we’re all late 40s now) spends all his time working. ‘Cause he’s got nothing else’.
I have a fair few friends that are also child free and I’ve not really had lots of awful comments, it’s usually the silence and awkwardness that follows when someone asks me if I have children that I don’t like, but I’m not filling the space with an explanation.

Pissedoffpigeon · 09/07/2023 20:47

Meant to add my youngest brother doesn’t have children either.

Handbagger99 · 09/07/2023 20:51

I hate hearing 'you don't know what real love is until you have kids'. Believe me I do and also how bloody patronising and offensive is that?

Greenshake · 09/07/2023 20:55

Handbagger99 · 09/07/2023 20:51

I hate hearing 'you don't know what real love is until you have kids'. Believe me I do and also how bloody patronising and offensive is that?

Agreed. That’s such an arrogant statement. You are definitely treated as less worthy if you are child free.

mydogisthebest · 09/07/2023 21:05

"Why did you get married then" also "you are very weird". Both said to me by men at work.

A woman I worked with said "You will probably end up very lonely if your DH dies before you"

KimberleyClark · 09/07/2023 21:06

Someone once said to me “not having kids and thinking you know about life is like living on bread and butter and thinking you know about food.”

Pancake678 · 09/07/2023 21:08

You can work Mother's Day because you're not a mother.

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 09/07/2023 21:09

derekdied · 09/07/2023 18:54

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

“Who will look after you when you are old”, I reply “my cat” 😂

JorisBonson · 09/07/2023 21:09

"But you're not a real family are you?"

My husband, house and cats wild beg to differ.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 09/07/2023 21:10

"Why did you get married then" also "you are very weird". Both said to me by men at work

IME men are more annoyed by childfreeness than women. I had a colleague who would harangue me about it until told to zip it and mind his own.

JorisBonson · 09/07/2023 21:12

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 09/07/2023 21:10

"Why did you get married then" also "you are very weird". Both said to me by men at work

IME men are more annoyed by childfreeness than women. I had a colleague who would harangue me about it until told to zip it and mind his own.

DH has had some shocking comments at work, all from men with children.

JenniferBooth · 09/07/2023 21:13

"You"re not human" yelled at me across the floor on a TV chat chow back in 1998 By a guy with an American accent but this happened in the UK

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 09/07/2023 21:18

DH has had some shocking comments at work, all from men with children

For some obscure reason they seem to see it as a slur on masculinity - esp if you're childfree and married. Apart from the colleague above I've been spared the worst excesses apart from being asked sneeringly if I was 'one of those feminists.' Just said yes thanks, I am.

Yessha · 09/07/2023 21:18

KimberleyClark · 09/07/2023 21:06

Someone once said to me “not having kids and thinking you know about life is like living on bread and butter and thinking you know about food.”

Blimey, that’s a bit fucking harsh. My worst has been the ‘you don’t know unconditional love until’ one, had that loads.

Original poster
derekdied · 09/07/2023 21:18

TinyKittenPaw · 09/07/2023 19:06

That’s an awful comment. But believe me the judgements and assumptions come thick and fast if your a woman with kids too!

Sorry I can't quote the other posters who quoted you. Agree with them however this may be a good reason for child free not to show up on active. Sorry if you get piled on for being in the wrong place because it's easily done.
Just to reassure you this is not an us vs them thing. Believe me we are well aware of the challenges you face because it never stops being talked about. But this was for people with a similar experience to share, not compare, not to get at parents, just to relate in one of the only places available to us.

OP posts:
Original poster
derekdied · 09/07/2023 21:18

Flanksteak · 09/07/2023 19:39

Oh so many. The worst was probably ‘why do you even bother staying alive then?’.

Fuck me.
Family member?

OP posts:
Original poster
derekdied · 09/07/2023 21:20

Pancake678 · 09/07/2023 21:08

You can work Mother's Day because you're not a mother.

And Christmas.
Can do you one better. You can look after our kids when we all meet up because you don't have any.

OP posts:
Idrankyourbananamilk · 09/07/2023 21:23

“You’re unnatural for not wanting kids. Normal women want children”.

By someone I worked with 🤦🏼‍♀️

LolaSmiles · 09/07/2023 21:24

It's probably small fry compared to others but people had wrongly assumed we were child free by choice when the reality was ongoing infertility.
Someone close to me kept reminding me I was getting older and I shouldn't risk running out of time to change my mind.

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