Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

[derekdied]

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

@fitzwilliamdarcy I think you win the thread. I'm sorry you went through that and I'm sorry you have such absolutely awful colleagues!

From husband's cousin: "When are you going to make [MIL] a grandmother, she's desperate for a granddaughter."

MIL herself had never complained.

Husband's cousin has four children and doesn't work - I countered that I had a mortgage and bills to pay so couldn't afford the time out from my job, and she quickly shut up.

When I went into work the day after having my beloved adored dog put to sleep, my colleague told me I didn't know what real love was because I wasn't a mum and it was only a dog. The "don't know real love" line so often thrown at me/us but that time in particular it really hurt.

When we were all chatting casually as an extended family (my parents, my siblings and our partners) and the conversation came around to how my 10 yr old niece was struggling with lack of confidence. Everyone was giving suggestions for how to help give her a boost, when I made a suggestion my SIL laughed and shrieked "we can all tell you are not a parent". I was (still am) mortified!

If I had a £1 for everytime someone (always a mother) tells me I am lucky... Usually accompanied by a tinkly little laugh and a comment about how they love them really and they wouldn't have it any other way 🙄

That she was subjected to marital rape is appalling. That she has accepted it as normal is also appalling.

There's an especial horror in that scenario. That the man you've decided to share your life with would assault you like that (presumably repeatedly until he was sure the deed was done) and enforce a pregnancy and that some people don't actually see what's wrong with that.

Many years ago my cousin was a victim of DV. Her mother told mine it was all her own fault. Too lippy, too intelligent, too woman.

My parents and only sibling are dead and it’s astonishing the amount of people that believe I should have had children as a way of replacing my family.

I have three much younger siblings and a couple of nephews and nieces. I’ve heard: “Oh but you’re good with children, it’s such a waste” a few times.

If someone I knew was this vocal about the earth shattering joys of parenthood, I'd assume they were about to get divorced, or be made bankrupt, or some other crisis was going to strike. It just feels so....odd. And such an unnecessarily negative way to talk about your own life. I mean, why do they feel the need to be so down on their previous selves, and so publicly?

'You'd make a good mother.' No, I wouldn't. That's why I'm not one.

@TedMullins In light of what you posted at 15.07 ive just seen this thread on Twitter

https://twitter.com/UnaMcIlvenna/status/1678290767935336450?s=20

🙄

"Is it because you don't to lose your nice figure?"

said in a very genuine way (but by someone who didn't know me well which is some relief as I'd be upset if someone thought I was that shallow).

*don't want to

I have children now but was very happily child free for quite a long time. I had lots if negative comments, mainly from my ILs but the worst was probably my MIL telling me the night before my last professional exam that she hoped I would fail as it might put an end to all this career nonsense and make me behave like a proper woman.(I passed by the way 😁)

Christ people are RUDE.

I can't think of any other part of life where people feel so free to comment negatively.

Can I ask-if you're happily child free why do you give a flying fuck what women with children say?

Because however happy you are 99% of the time with your decision sometimes you're tired, not feeling well, overwhelmed with work, parents have been difficult or the trains were playing up - for some reason you aren't just as resilient and able to brush off the shitty stupid obtuse remarks as easily as you would normally. You know, Kate - it's called being human. Shitty stupid obtuse passive aggressive comments like your's, in fact. Do you know how bloody tiring it is to have to justify your liife choices to the shitty, stupid and obtuse all the time?

Because as happy as I might be with my choices and lifestyle, it's still unpleasant to be faced with the rudeness, ignorance and, in some cases, downright cruelty given as examples on this thread.

In much the same way that I'm happy and comfortable with my sexuality and religious beliefs it's nonetheless upsetting to come across some prick who thinks it is appropriate to comment negatively on them.

I'm happily bisexual but I didn't appreciate "oi, lezzers" shouted at us when walking hand-in-hand with my then-gf.

I think the thing that annoyed me most was that when my husband told his sister that we didn't want children and wouldn't be having them, she tried very hard for a while to convince him that he did want them really. I found this such an outrageous overstep because if she'd been successful (she wasn't), she'd either have split us up or there suddenly would have been this pressure on me to go through all the stuff motherhood brings - pregnancy, labour, the recovery, the drudgery of motherhood. I don't have much patience for people telling me what I should be doing, but I have even less for another woman telling my husband what I should be doing and providing him with, of interfering in our relationship in a way that would take over my body and my life, not his.
And honestly, seeing her struggle to deal with her two kids would be enough to put anyone off. She palms them off at every opportunity.
She also spams us with minutes-long videos of them smearing food or burbling, and then when we see my MIL, MIL always asks me if I've watched the videos, and weren't they cute. She never asks her son, the one who is actually related to the kids.

It’s a good job you couldnt have children….. from my mother.

Could just as well ask you why you're so bothered about us complaining.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain "Do you know how bloody tiring it is to have to justify your liife choices to the shitty, stupid and obtuse all the time?"

Fair enough. I would suggest a sweet smile and "None of your business. More tea?" however.

@fitzwilliamdarcy "Could just as well ask you why you're so bothered about us complaining."

I'm not bothered, complain away. To me, it feels like a waste of energy to be upset by what dickheads say.