Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

[derekdied]

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

I'd struggle to keep my temper with an idiot like that and be pointing out exactly why you don't have children. At least you'd have silenced one dimwit.

I'm happy you haven't had kids, you'll have more time to look after me when I'm old - my mother! Erm, no.

It's a weird one for me, I've never wanted children, then when investigating a health issue in my early 40s discovered that I more than likely couldn't have them.

If I say I don't have them through choice you get the weird looks and who'll look after you when you're old etc comments. If I say I can't have them, the sympathy comes and when I say oh no I isn't want any they think you're lying to cover up your devastation.

Not at all!!!!
Have to say also one of the things that hurts me most about comments made is that no one who made them knows or has asked my situation nor have I shared.
Luckily I don't currently have a tragic backstory related to children but you never know. Commenting is just generally never ok. Also applies to pretty much all life choices. I'm not asking for your opinion so whyyyy are you giving it?

I broke my leg playing five-a-side football. My dad said, "If you'd had a couple of kids this wouldn't have happened as you'd have been home looking after them not out playing football.'

As a disabled woman I regularly get congratulated on not having kids because apparently it goes without saying that I would by very definition have been a shit mum

I wanted kids and it hurts

What's the point in this post?

This is the child free forum right?

Why? Are you one of those power-mad career women?

Answer : no, I'm unable to have children.

Always a conversation stopper but sadly true 😔

No, luckily for me my family are happy with my choices, this was a man at work. Very odd that lots of us have had comments from men at work who already have children, they obviously didn’t want to have children with us, they have children, so what is the issue 🤔

“Just adopt”. We were having fertility treatment. Adoption is not just something you do lightly, it’s a completely different scenario to having biological children.

Did you misread the OP, AND not notice where this was being posted? 🤔

Back on topic, I've had variations on all of these (happily childfree with no plans to have children until I had DS aged 40).

For the amusement of those of you who remained childfree, I should say that the dimwits who said things about me being too selfish/materialistic/irresponsible to have children, immediately, without missing a beat when I actually had a baby, started asking me when I was going to have another, and when I said I wasn't going to have another, shrieked 'You can't just have ONE -- how SELFISH/MATERIALISTIC/IRRESPONSIBLE!'

I conclude that some people get triggered by other people who look like they're having an easier time than you are because you made a different decision to them.

I never had anything bad really but years ago when I spoke about not wanting children, I had a colleague very earnestly tell me that I would never know true joy unless I had children. I did end up going on to have a child a couple years later and can honestly say now that she was talking complete bullshit, yes of course he brings me joy but I had plenty of joy in my life before becoming a parent also.

Very religious aunt while at a family wedding : You aren't married yet then?
Me : Nope
Aunt : Aren't you worried you're running out of time to have a family?
(I was 32 at the time)
Me : Nope, I don't want kids
Aunt : Oh, are you a lesbian now?

No one comment I can think of but lots of downplaying, undermining & contradicting any reasons I've given people about never having wanted children.

As if I'm just plain wrong & putting forward idiotic excuses. Tiresome innit.

Nothing terrible but just an endless drip drip of negativity from my mother. Trying to make me change my mind and have them. Claiming her life would have been so empty without her children (Yes, I know, hence why you tried to keep us all dependent, and were utterly bereft once we'd all actually left home.) And when i told her about a friend who hadn't wanted children but got pregnant, kept it and even now feels quite ambivalent about her baby and was utterly traumatised by the birth, my mum sat there with this knowing smirk and 'no comment' look on her face as if I must be making it up because no mother could possibly have mixed feelings about her now role.

Ohhhh, here's another. "You'll want them when you meet the right man." I'd been married to my DH a decade at that point.

When I think back, the worst thing really was the years of, 'Ohhh, but you'll change your mind.' 58 now and that particular ship has sailed . Nope, didn't change my mind.

‘Is there something wrong with you?’

^^ is what I was asked!

This comment right here is pretty bad. It's a cross between 'you don't know struggle until you've had a child' and 'I'm a mother so I must immediately centre myself in all conversations'

After previously confiding in this person about struggling and failing to conceive: "People like you make me see how lucky I am to have my kids, cause I don't think I'd still be here if I had infertility"

💔

Not heard any comments either way only once a woman asked if all 4 had the same dad and I said of course they have thankyou very much..but my 2 brothers also married choose not to have them and that's fine also

A. Do you have children?
Me. No, sadly I don't ( unable to, it's overshadowed my whole adult life).
A. Oh, you're not a real woman then
Me. WTAF???

Yes, trust me, I'm all woman. Just unfortunately I can't have children. It's massively affected my mental health and my relationship with my family.

You sound like you're on the same page as me