Child free people being told they deserve less yet being expected to do more!

[JenniferBooth]

Has anyone on here experienced any of this?

1. Employment..........being expected to work the Christmas shifts (because the parents want the time off) even though you did it the previous year or the last few years..
2. Family Being expected to take on the care of a child even though you have chosen not to have your own because of emotionally charged comments like " i feel sorry for the child cos none of his family members want him"
3. Housing. particularly social housing, where if you dont have children you are only entitled to a small flat or a bedsit, and God forbid if you happen to live in a bigger place you are told that it is your moral duty to downsize for families.
4. Being asked at a job interview if you have children and then being asked "why? Dont you like responsibility" when you say no. Happened to me back in 2004

As it is, she has linked her small, sweatbox flat as she describes it to her childfree status.

Because .... as you refuse to accept or even acknowledge... this is the Childfree Mumsnetters' Board. Where we discuss all things in relation to be being childfree.

Shit, @Catchasingmewithspiders, I’m so sorry.

I think it’s inevitable that while threads from this board show up in Active, parents are going to post on them - unwittingly or otherwise.

We could ask MNHQ about stopping it showing in Active, but that would mean MNers without kids would have to know it was there in order to follow it.

Because .... as you refuse to accept or even acknowledge... this is the Childfree Mumsnetters' Board. Where we discuss all things in relation to be being childfree

Including moaning about our property status or lack of it if we feel so inclined.

Ah yes my baby being born dead and not alive has always been such an advantage in life. A real perk 🤦‍♀️

So sorry, @Catchasingmewithspiders.

Im really very sorry about your baby.

That is clearly not what I was talking about.

I was talking about a deliberate intention to not have children.

In that case I'd be interested to hear how you define childfree advantages from childless non-advantages, if the 'perk' only relates to deliberate choice and not circumstances?

Quite a hole you're digging for yourself here.

I'd like to think Mumsnetters can read titles, though?

It clearly relates to childfree in the title. Actually, all the threads on this board are self explanatory, and if you manage to ignore that, then there's the OP to read.

I think if a user doesn't read the title, or see the board and then doesn't read the OP then any mnhq censorship is going to be pretty useless...

If a post title is 'help with breastfeeding' I don't find myself accidentally posting advice.

I think it’s inevitable that while threads from this board show up in Active, parents are going to post on them - unwittingly or otherwise.

Of course, but so far no-one else has attacked an OP, refused to acknowledge their mistake, refused to back down on their cock-eyed stance once the location of the thread and point of it is explained, and just banged on for a dozen plus posts, pointlessly, because apparently they cannot apologise or admit they were in any way wrong.

There's disadvantages and advantages to both having and not having children.

In terms of a deliberate choice over circumstance, then it's clear that having a situation forced upon you is very different to making a conscious choice and as such I wouldn't want to go there for obvious reasons.

At this point, I'd welcome a few incels and antinatalists....

I was talking about a deliberate intention to not have children

I didn't deliberately choose not to have children for the 'advantages,' altho there have been some - exiting a marriage easily and not having to stay in touch with ex because of childcare, for one. I can think of ways in which day to day life is easier, but you could say that for people whose children have grown up. I'd like to know what these specific 'advantages' are, can you clarify?

😂

The annual leave thing always gets me. I've just got a new job and none of us have young children so it's not an issue anymore. In my old team... Good grief. I was moaned at for taking leave in the school holidays. I help my sister with childcare. My colleagues seemed to expect me to care more about their children than family children. Erm... No.

Don't say that, you never know who is lurking to keep an eye on us to make sure we're behaving. 😄

That particular poster has been made aware several time that its the childfree board before they made that crass comment though so its certainly not unwhittingly

But thank you for your comments x

There's advantage and disadvantages to literally every decision we ever make. I mean I just popped out to the supermarket. Advantages are that I now have a lovely baguette to eat and bought some new shampoo. Disadvantages are that I didn't get my washing hung up and I used petrol which is bloody expensive.

Right, you're just being silly now. Want to stop posting now, back out and keep at least some dignity intact?

Actually its not clear that that was what you were talking about

You have been going on about the perks/advantages of being childfree, all that extra free time etc

This is a board for childfree posters. That includes people like me who have lost babies, had miscarriages etc.

its been made clear to you several times that this is a board for childfree peoples.

So actually yes, when you made the deliberate choice to come on the board for childfree people and bang on about the perks and advantages of being childfree and how much easier it is for us you were choosing to do this. To tell women whose babies have died how much easier their life is, how much more advantageous it is.

So when you talk about deliberate choices this was your deliberate choice. How about you take some personal responsibility for this one?

You listed the advantages of your choice not to have children... being able to leave a relationship, not having to remain in contact and day to day life is easier. Then you asked me to tell you what the advantages were....

Oh sorry, I thought you were talking about societal advantages, like.....dang, can't think of any right now. Can you?

Those ones I listed were honestly the only ones I could come up with. Hoping you can improve on that list without silly references to supermarkets. Or you could just stop.

To tell women whose babies have died how much easier their life is, how much more advantageous it is

No I absolutely did not say that nor would I.

The op bemoaned her housing situation. She has been living in that flat for thirty years. I suggested that if she hated it so much she could have privately rented or bought somewhere and that she had more freedom in terms of career progression and retraining than she would have done if she had children.

That is really nothing like telling bereaved mothers they have an easier life.

And the reason you know the OP hasnt had miscarriages and stillbirths is?....

Because if she has then you are literally telling someone who lost a baby that their life is easier and she had more freedom than if she hadnt lost a baby.

This board is for people who have chosen not to to have children. People who lost their children. People who were unable to have children. And people who chose to not follow through fertility treatment through to the end of options to have children.

The OP may have chosen not to have children because she had multiple miscarriages. Or because she couldnt afford IVF after she had used the NHS rounds. Or because she didnt want to persuse IVF. Or because she had a disabled husband and therefore didnt have the time to give to a child. Or maybe she just didnt want children.

But unless you absolutely know she just didnt want children then if you come on this board going on about advantages and perks knowing full well people who have lost babies will be on this board. That's on you.

Or you know you could just stop. Because we see you. You might be trying to tell yourself you are somehow the good person, the logical person, the rational person on this thread. But we see you.

@Comedycook you've fallen for a myth.

You think life is automatically easier because you don't have children?

You're being extremely judgemental to assume OP has any benefits or advantages in terms of work purely because she hasn't got children.

This is not only very wrong and narrow minded, it's offensive for those who are childless.

I suggested that if she hated it so much she could have privately rented or bought somewhere and that she had more freedom in terms of career progression and retraining than she would have done if she had children

You posted that with absolutely no knowledge about that OP's situation. As @Catchasingmewithspiders there could be many reasons why OP has not done what you suggested and doesn't have the freedoms you reckon she has because she doesn't have children.

Please just stop it.

Exactly. I'm not sure what @Comedycook's posts have contributed to this thread other than a load of nonsense.