God, my au pair/mother's help just kicked my 5 year old!

[kittywise]

Obviously I've told her she has to leave today. I'm so pissed off . Just needed to vent

LL maybe it doesn't in your book, however, I am not racsist.
My experience of west indians/and Africans when teaching in London was that they were much much harsher on their kids, much, much stricter.
Many of the children talked about being beaten.

When my au pair spoke about her family, her upbringing etc she spoke of attutudes to child rearing from a cultural base.

She was very strict with them

Of course there are many many shit white parents and many many excellent black parents. However, i understand the culture I was brought up in and would rather employ someone from a more familiar cultural base.
That does not make me a racsist

sorry i was making a point that she was making sweeping generalised statements.

I suggest the OP should put her mop down as she cleans for 15hrs a day and starts teaching her kids how to respect adults. id be mortified if my 5yr old dd ever kicked an adult.

What perfect children you must all have, how lovely for you.

Even my wouldn't-say-boo-to-a-goose DD has had her off moments and behaved in ways which I have been properly horrified at.

Kitty, what a crappy day you've had. I hope things improve.

Kitty what you are talking about (as i work in inner city london) is nigerian beatings, generally by fathers. Which is definitly uncommon, It is probably the same percentage of white/asian/black parents beating their children. Another stereotype of nigerian parents.

Kittywise. Why are you spending all day cleaning and getting someone else to look after your children? Surely you'd be better off employing a cleaner and caring for the children yourself?

cascade she knows her behaviour was bad , it is very out of character for her, which makes me think there was something else going on.

I've just remembered the aupair going on about pakis now, oh the irony of this all.

I need someone to do a bit of both.

Cascade there were a good mix of west indians and arfricans from many different countries

The Africans and west indians hated each other

I have to say if a 5 year old kicked me repeatedly I'd kick them back too after a fair warning - what a brat!

why in gods name would anyone spend 15hrs a day cleaning a house? are you mental?

also, whilst I don't condone the au-pair kicking your child, how dare you generalise about 'black' people??
I'm a mixed race nanny, my mother is bajan. I've never laid a finger on a child.
you stick that in your pipe!!

yes that is well known racial divide alot to do with the percieved notions of the slave trade. with one culture feeling superior to the other

Oh what a nightmare! Having to manage a large house and look after children over the Christmas period. God life is really tough sometimes isn't it?

LL is was a clumsy post written during great upset and distress, I could have worded it better. I meant what you said!

Thanks to all those who seem to think dd is the demon here. Hopefully you'd support an adult who decided to kick your dc then? Thought not

if one of my children repeatedly kicked an adult at the age of 5 you are right that I'd support the adult in warning them and then kicking them back - absolutely!

moston if you'd really do that then that is abusive shocking behaviour and I would hope the child concerned would report you . I hope you don't have kids(poor buggers)

Anyway enough of the personal attacks on my child, fuck off and annoy someone else

moston why don't you change your name to mosotnsupports thekickingofchildren?

I am sorry my post was a tad sarcastic.

Kicking a child is unacceptable in ANY circumstances. Shocked and saddened that other people think it should be encouraged.

I think the 'is smacking acceptable' threads are old hat now. Some people might want to start one along the lines of ' I agree with kicking children if they've got it coming. Do I have right on my side"

oh fgs, does anyone else think that the kicking of the child was more than likely a tiny almost imperceptible tap with the foot done because the ap had threatened to do it back? i SERIOUSLY doubt this woman, who wants to work with children would actually hurt a 5yo.
i can well picture a 5yo (mine included) feeling strongly that their rights have been infringed, demanding an apology and making out it was more of a 'kick' than it was.

My DP is Asian, too. So put that up your pipe and smoke it.

Hearing your DH - of whatever race - say he would not employ a black person in future - and agreeing with him, IS racist in my book. People who choose not to employ someone because they are black is racism. Even if you insert 'because I have certain assumptions about the way they will have been brought up and therefore about the ay they will follow my rules in my house' into the sentence.

And no-on is 'stalking' Kittywise. She made a comment about not offering employment based on race. People are fully entitled to challenge it.

Only one person said she would Kick your child. In NO WAY would I kick any child - I am sirry that your au pair kicked your dd - it is indefensible, but it doesn't make it OK for your dd to be kicking people, either. That's not 'demonising' - I bet if you started a thread saying 'my 5 year old repeatedly kicks people who brush her hair' you would be met with people urging you tohelp her to stop it. I would be ashamed if my 5 yo repeatedly kicked a carer - however much they disliked her.

the au pair freely admitted that she had kicked her, it was also witnessed by some of the other children/

But that isn't the point, it's wrong to have dome it, it is an aggressive act and is completely inappropriate behavoiur

blu, racsism is about holding a prejudice against someone because of their race, not colour.

As I said I couldn't give a toss what colour she was, otherwise I wouldnt have employed her. What I DO care about is cultural background and in this case it happens to be linked with colour. She could be purple for all I care.

If there were a group of/purple, pink striped, green spotted white people somewhere in the world, (and I'm sure there are,) with child rearing/cultural ideas that I found alien then I would react in the same way.

As I also said my post was clumsy, I should have talked about culture and not colour