God, my au pair/mother's help just kicked my 5 year old!

[kittywise]

Obviously I've told her she has to leave today. I'm so pissed off . Just needed to vent

Because all black people have strict upbringing and were sent off to boarding school?

That's bloody ridiculous. I think you just lost the moral highground.

Choose someone with the same ideas of rules and behaviour management, by all means, but leave race out of it.

Most of the carers at DC's fantastic nursery were black, and many fantastic TA's that I have encountered.

Being black doesn't mean you discipline the children too "strongly" - maybe your children need someone with a different approach, closer to yours. But it doesn't matter what race they are.

twp things.

1. Au pair sounds like an immature twit incapable of looking after small children

2. You and your DH are racists. 'Black people'? What - all black people?

I am reporting your post.

Anyway, what was your 5yo doing kicking her? My DS is REALLY difficult, but even he knows kicking anyone is totally unacceptable.

Maybe your parenting style is too liberal?

Look
I didn't like that phrase in Kittys post either, but I don't think she intended to be racist. I think she posted in the heat of the moment, after having a nightmare morning.
Feel free to report her, but personally I think we should just leave this thread instead.

I have reported it. I don't give a shit if it was heat of the moment or not. It was offensive.

I would have kicked the bloody au pairs arse!!! if she laid a finger on my kids.
she is well out of order.get rid.

Thank god there are laws to protect children and racial discrimination....

I'm shocked at the racist and ignorant comment. I'm shocked at the AP kicking your child. I'm also shocked that your child was kicking your AP. I am an AP and if the children were violent to me, i wouldn't kick back, I would leave.

if you hadn't reported it, mrsmattie, i would have.

twerp

yes, it was outrageous of her to have kicked your child, and right that she was sacked.

But I would be thoroughly horrified if my 5 year old kicked anyine, let alone repeatedly, and there is NO NO NO excuse fo your comment about 'black people'..

heat of moment?

Oh, yes, all the best racism comes out in the heat of the moment.

If it isn't there it doesn't come out.

The au pair was a disgrace, you and your DH are a disgrace, and if you don't do something about a child who kicks an adult because they don't like hair brushing, then she will be a disgrace to you too - which would be a shame for the child.

Agree with Blu.

Kitty, you may as well say you don't want your next au pair to be a woman. Or to have fingernails. That would be about as relevant to the way she is with your children as the colour of her skin.

Sorry you've had a rough morning. But don't compound it by instilling prejudices in your children or cementing them in your DH.

Well I prefer to think that Kitty is not a racist but was clumsily bringing up an issue about how an au pairs culture has bearing on their attitude to children.

I don't agree that where an au pair comes from would determine whether they are likely to kick a child or not but I also don't think Kitty should be demonised or stalked on mumsnet.

I'm not racist ffs , my children are mixed race

I'm not interested in moral high ground either.

Think what you like, my dp is asian, put that in your pipes

Kitty why don't you forget about the au-pair idea. Just look after your children yourself. Seems like it would save you a lot of hassle.

Thanks ss, as you well know i am not racist but like it or not culutral backgrounds play a part in how you view childrearing and my experience is that westindian/african paents are a lot harsher on their kids than i am.

That does not make me a racist it makes me an observer. And I am not prepared to take the risk.

I have heard SO MANY TIMES on here about how so and so won't employ an Italian/French? Poe etc etc because of an experience they had. No one everv called them racists.

Why on au pair sites are you allowed to express a preference as to the nationality of your au pair?

using the logic here anyone who expressed any preference would be racist which of course is perfectly ridiculous.

I dont' give a shit about the colour of someone's skin, if I did I wouldn't have employed her in the first place(just think about it for a nanno second) I do give a shit that someone kicks my five year old because their cultural background has deemed it somehow acceptable to teach a child a lesson in this way..

juuule, the house is too big for me to look after on my own. I spend all day from half 6 until 9pm cleaning etc, I want to have more time with the kids AND a little time to myself so that i can be happy with the kids when I'm with them rather than a harassed misery!

Yes fio, I guess I was unclear in my post. As I said I am not rascist. Would it have been better to have said "I wish, in fututre, to avoid those people with a west African cultural background because it is too different to my own?

well if were gonna make sweeping statements about west african people. In my experience of teaching in a multi cultural school, west african students are hard working, very respectful of adults and have a great appreciation of education. This is due to their parents being very supportive and instilling in their children, very high morals and work ethic.

cascade is that really any better than saying they all beat their children? Is it only racist to generalise negatively? Interesting.