God, my au pair/mother's help just kicked my 5 year old!

[kittywise]

Obviously I've told her she has to leave today. I'm so pissed off . Just needed to vent

and you are beneath mine. So that's nicely balanced then.

herb, you draw wrong conclusions I'm afraid,. DD is very upset at what she has done, buuuuut if you had read the thread properly you would have know that we have been through this.

Hey moston, have you started the "is it ok to kick my child or get another adult to kick my child/" thread? just wondering. I'll look out for it shall I?

Having just scanned this thread I think herbietea has summed the situation well. I second your opinion Herbie.

MMJ I'd love to move, , sadly current climate doesn't allow. We've been trying to sell for ages.

Yes, dd got told ofd very muchly and is very contrite, as i said earlier it so very, very out of character for her, something must have been going on.

a child who kicks repeatedly and then is warned that if they continue they'll be kicked back and then kicks again who gets a tap with a foot is fine by me and always will be

if they are kicked so there is a bruise then it's not

If I employed someone to care for my children I'd be certain that they had the experience and training to do so and so I could have confidence in their abilities. Unfortunately with an au pair you don't get this as they are here to learn the language or experience the country and are low paid

But I would never differentiate on creed or colour merely on experience and training

I don't think "look after your children yourself" is an appropriate response to a childcare problem. I think another au pair is probably more realistic.

Are we going to start bashing mums who employ childcare now? If so, I hope we are going to include dads. And I hope those who think working parents are harming their children are themselves perfect parents.

1. Kicking a child is not acceptable and escorting her from the premises a reasonable response

2. Refusing somebody employment on the grounds of race and of your perception of their culture is wrong

3. A child kicking an adult is wrong

4. Going through three au pairs in three months means you have either been very unlucky or you are doing something wrong. You should reflect honestly with yourself on which of those it is.

5. It's your business how many children and how big a house you choose to have - but if you mention those on a public forum you should expect to have questions about those choices coming back at you.

thanks athene, that was a very sensible post.

We have been very unlucky with aupairs(. Previous to this bad run i had one for 4 years and after that one for a year, they were fantastic and i so wish they could come back.) Each one has been unsuitable for completely a different reason. No personality was the same. no problem the same Thankfully we've never had anyone who physically assulted a child before.

Am somewhat that you clean your house for 12 1/2 hours a day whilst an au pair looks after your six children. What a strange household

OMG. You have six kids. (I think I remember you know. Do you live in Brighton?) Your problem is that you need two au pairs. Maybe an au pair couple... that way you only need to supply one bedroom.

Oh, I missed that. You spend your time cleaning? I agree. You need to stop that. Hire someone to clean... and an au pair.

Good grief, if there were six kids in my house I don't thinkI would go home.

athene, I did think about getting 2, it's tricky to get one though!

What about a cleaning agency where they can deal with all the staffing issues? And an au pair or two to help out with the kids?

Here's a thought - if you can't sell the house you have, you could downsize within it. So all children to share rooms if they don't already - can you get three into one room? That should reduce the number of bedrooms to clean and then without an au pair 'shut' her bedroom as well and any spare rooms. If you have more than two floors get everyone off the top floor and shut it then you won't have to hoover those stairs either. Do you have a table in your kitchen or could you fit one in there? Then you could shut off your dining area and if you have an office shift the essentials to your bedroom then you can shut it as well. Also make everyone use the same bathroom then thats less to clean. HTH

or downsize the children?

But why would you warn a child that you will kick them back, moston?

Seems an odd way to try to educate a child to me.

On questioning dd1 this evening I also found out that au pair kicked dd2 twice with her shoes on once on the foot and a second time on the shins. Dd2 had no shoes on.

I don't clean all day and have a mother's help. I said I would be working in the house all day if i didn't have one, that work being all the normal household stuff but in a big house and a lot of children.

It is very odd that someone (can't remember who) made the implication that a need for childcare implied that there were too many children. odd, many people have help at home with just one or 2 children.

I want help so that I can go through life with a degree of equanimity

RAAAAAAAHHH!

You are so ignorant!@kittywise. The sweeping generalisations you make are just pathetic!

It's beyond belief.

Kittywise your ignorance it staggering. I am really

I am sorry that your child was kicked that is unacceptable but that was done by one individual that happens to be black. Lord why am I even bothering....

i think the au pair has had a lucky escape.

and i HAVE had to fire an aupair living in my house and escort her from the premises, as if that makes me more qualified to comment.

what is sadly common amonst people with racial prejudice is this amazing denial they seem to have. 'oh im not racist because...' and then they go on to make racist generalisations and ignorant statements. which, for a seemingly intelligent person, is a bit bloody ridiculous really. have you no self awareness nor shame at all?

Well now you have a big house, loads of children and no au pair - so what are you going to do? Hire a cleaner, shut off a wing or two or martyr yourself in your rubber gloves? Enquiring minds would like to know.......