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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

This is why Childminders must NOT Do favours for New Mums and stick to your own Rules!

170 replies

PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 20:11

Hi there

(To any mums reading do not take this wrong way as its just something most childminders will face at least once in there carer)

I took on a little boy about 4 weeks ago
his mum pretty much wanted a place the following week.
(Child was with a minder but she needed someone close who could do early mornings i did think it was odd her not giving that minder notice but than didn't pry into it to much)

As for the mindee, he did a settlign in period with his father (whom is a police officer) for a session and was absolutley fine... Child seemed a bit dominating over his father (but nothing ive not seen before)

Anyway we operate a 2 week trial period (which parents can opt out of the contract without notice within that first 2 weeks) this is clearly written on the policy sheet we give out.

I told the mum (As a favour) she can pay the deposit after the 2 week trial. (As for me its easier not to have than to give back)

First week went fine (could tell he was an overly spoilt child) as he was extremly demanding and could throw the biggest wobblers) but never phased us, as its still early days, 2nd week he was off all week sick (in which i had to chase her EVERY day to find out if he was in that day or not)

That pretty much ended the 2 weekt trial period (that the parent can choose to opt out of the contract.)

Anyway he starts his 3rd week (last week) mother did pay for the week he was sick (as parents are contracted to do) and the 3rd week.

Anyway, friday 5th (last fri) comes and parent says she cant pay the deposit etc as she dont get paid to the 15th and asked if we could wait until than to get the fees and deposit.

I Agreed as (I thought the mother was half decent and realise its a hard time or year all round) and said she can pay me for the week and than the remaining on the 15th when she gets paid.
She texted me over the weekend to say thank you and that was great.

Anyway week 4 (this week) dad turned up yesturday to tell me that mum was crying her eyes out that she cannot afford to pay the deposit and 4 weeks fees in advance and is thinking of chucking in her job. I told him to call me after 6pm as i was still working and had kids to deal with at the time. Dad asked what was owing, i explained this weeks fees only as mum was paying the remainder (deposit and following fees in advance) on 15th)

I later agreed with the dad that we could (AGAIN AS A FAVOUR) forget the deposit and they can pay me every 2 weeks and we will review again in new year. (instead of paying every 4 weeks as contracted)

Well Dad arrived early again tonight (Pleasently calm and friendly) telling me he dosen;t know whats going on with mindees mother but she just textedd him and wondered if he could read it to me. I brought him in as i got his son in the buggy and he read a text the mother sent the dad for me, saying that this is the mindees last week as she cannot deal with the early mornings and cannot afford full time childcare, and has spokent o her work who agreed they can change her work load to part time.. (Im propbably one of the cheapest in the area at £30 a day) and that she will be working part time with agreement from her bosses and that she wont be paying notice for her son as shes within her trial period. (HOW SHE WORKS THIS OUT I DONT KNOW)

I explained to the dad this was mindees 4TH WEEK not 2nd or 3rd and that 2 weeks notice is payable. He said ok, he claimed he was confused and didn't really understand what was going on. I told him that if he could get the mum to call me when she gets home id talk with her as she signed up the contracts.

Anyway she texts me the same text she sent the dad, and i replied telling her to call me when she gets in and that it was childs 4th week not 2nd and so now notice is payable.

Got a call about 2 minutes later with a pleasent vunerable lady now AGGRESSIVE and on Total Defense... Telling me that she told the dad to tell me the night before that it was sons last day on monday and that was out of decency to her as she was within her trial period seeing as he was sick the 2nd week.

I asked her how week four can be within 2 weeks trial and she went off on one telling me im the only childminder that wants deposits and fees in advance in the area and even when she called OFSTED they agree its not normal for a minder to charge more than weekly if you have a deposit.

At this point i was really wound up... The first time since ive put my policies inplace have i done a FAVOR for a parent for it to back fire... makes me angry at myself for allowing her to do it to me.

Anyway, she went on about how shes so stressed and how shes only just started up work since maternity leave (the childs 14 months and she already told me he was with another childminder who was with him week before he started with me)

She explained how her and the dad had a big argument last night as he was not meant to pay me this week, as the mum only wanted him to pay for the one day as she did not plan on bringing him back

My overall thoughts are, even though she has done the dirty. For me not sticking to my policies and allowing someone to take my kindness for weekness has reminded me exactly what the paperwork and procedures are there for. Im not there to give favours its a business and i guess its that i have to remember secondry to given the children the best care i possibly can.

She had the nerve to text me to say thank you for the help with her son and that she thinks shes being decent no comment!

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PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 22:42

Coldtits... i think im passed explaining myself regarding how demanding the child is?? nothing i say will satisfy you as you quite clearly seem to be missing the point..
Childminder + using the word 'spoit' = Bad childminder to you.. so you already made your assumptions on me.

Demanding care and effection and attention is NORMAL I know!! But dominating adults and children alike is not something that should be encouraged otherwise how else do you propose children learn.

Just like learning to say thank you (Ta) you are meant to teach them right from wrong and all the rest of it.

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blueshoes · 09/12/2008 22:42

crackbaileys,

On the biscuit issue, a child of 14 months is still finding his way around the world. Recently walking, only just realised he can actually influence adults (hence shouting for biscuits), discovering the properties of biscuits (crumbling) as an alternative to eating them (what a creative chap). All normal exploratory behaviour you would expect of a bright young baby. that his attempts to master his world met with disapproval and derision.

bonnycat · 09/12/2008 22:42

TBH i think all speech and language therapists would encourage playing with food as a way of helping a child with a food aversion/fussiness.Not saying this child has that at all of course but its not a bad thing at 14 months old.

Bubble99 · 09/12/2008 22:42

It's also, for example, like a gynaecologist or GU medic posting (in his/her own time) and saying that women who contract STIs are a bunch of slappers.

It may be a personal opinion but it would be worrying and upsetting that someone working in the field harbours that opinion.

Aitch · 09/12/2008 22:43

x-posted with a lot of others there. i don't think anyone's said that the parents have done the right thing here. but i'd be uncomfortable about a CM who allowed my kid to be the butt of her friends' jokes.

Tinker · 09/12/2008 22:43

"Just like learning to say thank you (Ta) you are meant to teach them right from wrong and all the rest of it."

You've just pressed another mn button there PnL

CrackopentheBaileys · 09/12/2008 22:45

you got me wrong there blue shoes, I completely agree with you on the biscuit issue......

Aitch · 09/12/2008 22:46

anyway, it sounds like it's all turned out mostly for the best tbh. i'm sorry taht you got screwed financially, that wasn't fair. but it wouldn't surprise me if the mother sensed that you didn't like her child.

Aitch · 09/12/2008 22:46

lol tinker. i did shudder a little at ta.

Coldtits · 09/12/2008 22:47

Oh go away and educate yourself on child development, you're clearly not listening to a word we say.

blueshoes · 09/12/2008 22:47

"To be spoilt someone has had to allow a child so young to become it."

I fundamentally disagree with this statement when applied to 14 month olds. I do think that you just cannot 'get' or prefer not to mind, a more spirited baby.

PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 22:47

coldtits again your taking parts of what i say to make a story book ..

I was embaressed that all eyes were on me when the child stood out amongst 15 or so other little ones for acting the way he did in general...

I was not embaressed to be caring for him!

All our local childminders give each other support and we all have a natter, does not mean im bad for being embaressed.

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Aitch · 09/12/2008 22:47

i think she was smiling in agreement, crackopen. and then went on to address something else.

CrackopentheBaileys · 09/12/2008 22:47

just out of interest why not ta?

Aitch · 09/12/2008 22:49

peaceandlove, i really didn't think that's what you were saying at all.

CrackopentheBaileys · 09/12/2008 22:49

thanks aitch sorry blue

blueshoes · 09/12/2008 22:49

crackbaileys, I hope you can express yourself more clearly with the parents of your mindees, preferably without the use of emoticons.

PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 22:50

coldtits.. listening to you repeating yourself?

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Aitch · 09/12/2008 22:50

oh it just doesn't float my boat. dd was able to say thankyou (or an approximation thereof) so i never felt the need to teach her ta as i don't say it myself.

blueshoes · 09/12/2008 22:50

cross-posted!

Tinker · 09/12/2008 22:50

Why ta?

Aitch · 09/12/2008 22:51

lol at blueshoes and crackopen x-posting!

PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 22:52

crackopenthebaileys sorry think im a bit confused as to your post, what do you mean?

By CrackopentheBaileys on Tue 09-Dec-08 22:47:58
just out of interest why not ta?

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CrackopentheBaileys · 09/12/2008 22:53

tinker not trying to drag you into a debate, just interested

Blue, I have a variety of emoticons on a sticky board by the door, choose my mood for the day, words aren't usually required

PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 22:55

By Bubble99 on Tue 09-Dec-08 22:42:25
It's also, for example, like a gynaecologist or GU medic posting (in his/her own time) and saying that women who contract STIs are a bunch of slappers.

It may be a personal opinion but it would be worrying and upsetting that someone working in the field harbours that opinion.

Fair point Bubbles99, but never the less he his entitled to his opinion but see where your coming from.

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