Disappointed to Need a C-Section - Any Advice Welcomed

[HelplesslyHoping24]

Hi everyone,

I’m new here so apologies if this isn’t the right way of using this but I’m desperate for any advice / encouragement / words of comfort.

I’m 38+5 weeks pregnant with my first baby (a girl) who is due on 14th June.

I had been planning and excited for a vaginal birth, but she has been stuck in breech / transverse position for most of the pregnancy and as the due date has got closer it has become clear I’m going to need a c-section.

I’ve tried everything to get her to turn head-down - Spinning Babies, moxibustion and a very painful ECV - none of which have been successful sadly.

I recently had an appointment with the consultant who advised an elective c-section for safety, which I have provisionally agreed to, but I’m devastated and really don’t want to go through with the surgery.

Has anyone else had the experience of their birth plan changing massively and how did you come to terms with it?

These past days I haven’t been able to stop crying as I feel like a huge part of the pregnancy and birth experience has suddenly been taken away, and I’ve lost all my excitement and happiness about meeting the baby.

I’m not wanting to say anything negative about c-sections but for me it was something I really desperately didn’t want, partly because I’m incredibly needle/surgery-phobic and also because I really wanted to try and give birth and have that part of the experience.

I’m really scared about the procedure and the recovery and I’m not sure it’s something I’m going to be able to handle.

Does anyone have any words of comfort or advice around the c-section experience? I’m really dreading it and I also feel like I’m not going to connect with the experience or my baby because I’m so sad and scared.

Has anyone ever had a breech baby turn this late, or am I just clutching at straws?

Should I ask for another ECV?

Has anyone decided against an advised c-section and continued to have a successful vaginal breech birth, or is it too dangerous?

I haven’t expressed myself very well here, and I really mean no negativity towards anyone who has had a c-section, but I’m so disappointed at how this has gone and I’m feeling so miserable so I guess I’m just looking for any words of comfort and encouragement at this point, because I feel like all my options have run out and what was meant to be a happy time has turned into a bad dream.

Thank you.

What a lovely lovely update! Congratulations and enjoy your baby. Take it especially for the first couple of weeks of your recovery and you'll be back to feeling fine in no time!

Take it easy*

You have every right to feel this way. I had an emcs with 1st and it massively contributed to severe postnatal depression. I was bombarded with a lot of 'c sections are great', 'you will get over it when baby is here' etc which added to me trying to suppress my trauma and feeling like I did not have the right to feel a loss. After therapy, I realise that being told you have to be cut open to get your baby out IS trauma. It is a loss of bodily autonomy. There are a lot of ifs and buts and vaginal birth is often very very traumatic too. For me though, and you OP by the sounds of it, having autonomy is something you really value. I would say just make a decision and own it at this point. I felt as if I was coerced into things I did not want during childbirth which added to ptsd/pnd.

If it helps at all, 40% of UK births are c section. And in well educated demographics it feels like literally everyone has had one.

Just saw your updates, congrats 🥳🥳🥳