Disappointed to Need a C-Section - Any Advice Welcomed

[HelplesslyHoping24]

Hi everyone,

I’m new here so apologies if this isn’t the right way of using this but I’m desperate for any advice / encouragement / words of comfort.

I’m 38+5 weeks pregnant with my first baby (a girl) who is due on 14th June.

I had been planning and excited for a vaginal birth, but she has been stuck in breech / transverse position for most of the pregnancy and as the due date has got closer it has become clear I’m going to need a c-section.

I’ve tried everything to get her to turn head-down - Spinning Babies, moxibustion and a very painful ECV - none of which have been successful sadly.

I recently had an appointment with the consultant who advised an elective c-section for safety, which I have provisionally agreed to, but I’m devastated and really don’t want to go through with the surgery.

Has anyone else had the experience of their birth plan changing massively and how did you come to terms with it?

These past days I haven’t been able to stop crying as I feel like a huge part of the pregnancy and birth experience has suddenly been taken away, and I’ve lost all my excitement and happiness about meeting the baby.

I’m not wanting to say anything negative about c-sections but for me it was something I really desperately didn’t want, partly because I’m incredibly needle/surgery-phobic and also because I really wanted to try and give birth and have that part of the experience.

I’m really scared about the procedure and the recovery and I’m not sure it’s something I’m going to be able to handle.

Does anyone have any words of comfort or advice around the c-section experience? I’m really dreading it and I also feel like I’m not going to connect with the experience or my baby because I’m so sad and scared.

Has anyone ever had a breech baby turn this late, or am I just clutching at straws?

Should I ask for another ECV?

Has anyone decided against an advised c-section and continued to have a successful vaginal breech birth, or is it too dangerous?

I haven’t expressed myself very well here, and I really mean no negativity towards anyone who has had a c-section, but I’m so disappointed at how this has gone and I’m feeling so miserable so I guess I’m just looking for any words of comfort and encouragement at this point, because I feel like all my options have run out and what was meant to be a happy time has turned into a bad dream.

Thank you.

C section is by far the best option imo. It’s a miracle of modern medicine that women no longer have to go through the agony and damage caused by childbirth. I was more than happy to take advantage of scientific progress and have a c section!

You have no idea how much damage a vaginal birth is going to cause. Literally every mum I know pisses themselves when they sneeze. My SIL has had 3 operations trying to repair her tear and 5 years later she still shits herself. My friend had a clitoral tear and struggles to orgasm because of the scarring. I’ve also seen babies with permanent damage to their shoulder from being dragged out.

My vagina, on the other hand, has never had a baby squeezed out through it and is undamaged and functions perfectly. My baby was lifted out gently through the sunroof, in perfect health with no shoulder damage or oxygen deprivation or anything. I don’t feel I’ve missed out on vaginal birth, I’m just glad I avoided the damage I’ve seen other people having to live with.

Instead of seeing a c section as a loss, why don’t you see it as a gain for your future health and wellbeing? You avoided the biggest killer of women in history: childbirth.

I haven't had a c-section but I did give birth today (!) so can throw in some very fresh thoughts.

I was offered ELCS due to my age but wanted to try for a vaginal delivery, and post hypnobirthing had hopes for a nice calm water birth, dim lights and soft music, bit of gas & air, skin to skin and delayed cord clamping.

What actually happened was a rapid advance from 7cm to 10cm in under an hour, meconium in the waters, and giving birth in stirrups in a brightly lit room full of people and without so much as a paracetamol (I wasn't allowed gas & air for the end as we needed him out asap and it was messing with my pushing). It took 3 midwives the best part of an hour to fix the episiotomy that had then torn, and we didn't get immediate skin to skin or delayed cord clamping as he was whipped off for tests on account of the meconium.

Would I take a calm, pre-planned caesarean over that chaos next time? 100% I would, and I promise how he got here would make absolutely no difference to how much I love the little snuffle-pig currently snoozing and snoring in my arms. I'd likely be an awful lot less tired though!

OP, all I can say is that vaginal births are overrated.
All this natural experience bollocks etc etc.
If I had my time again, I would ask for caesarean every single time. I should have listened to my mum!
You and baby need to be safe with the least stress possible. Go with it and embrace the entire experience as it comes and trust the professionals to deliver your baby in the safest way for both of you.
I wish you all the best and be gentle with yourself. Birth is one of those events you can't always plan to the second. You created your ideal scenario in your mind and now it changed. But you'll still have the exact same baby and you will become the exact same mother. If anything, it's good we live in these time when medicine can keep so many mothers and newborns safe with an alternative delivery.

I'd rather a healthy, live baby in a controlled environment than the opposite. I have zero regrets going for a C-section. The only shit thing is the tummy overhang but again: I'd rather a healthy baby than a flat tummy. Keep coming back to the baby being healthy more than how they get here.

Beautifully put ❤️

Two csections here- one emergency and one elective (reduced foetal movements)- I bounced back really quickly from both. Stop worrying. You're in the safest place having a C-section.

Take the section and run with it

Far safer for baby, and you

Thank you so much, you’re all absolutely amazing people and I am so grateful
to each and every one of you for taking the time to share your experiences and reassure me. I can’t believe how different I feel today from yesterday, it’s been such a positive turnaround. I feel so empowered by your words, and I’m back to feeling excited about meeting my baby. Thank you all so much xxxx

I can only speak on a personal level but a C section was the best thing ever.

A natural birth is not always what it's cracked up to be. I was screaming in absolute agony for hours. I cannot even begin to describe the pain. I genuinely would have let them chop my legs off to stop the pain. Finally, they shipped me in for a c section and I was beyond grateful. I healed incredibly quickly. I was walking the prom 4 days later. Yes, it was bit painful afterwards but NOTHING compared to the pain of contractions. I was genuinely emotionally scarred from the experience of trying to give birth naturally. So much so that I booked straight in for a c section 2nd time round.

I also know of people who have really badly torn giving birth naturally and have had to have physio to walk again.

I also know of people who have had no problem pushing a baby out.

It's so different for everyone but personally, I would opt for a C section any day over a natural birth.

Sorry you're feeling so upset and disappointed OP.

Please don't worry about a c section.

I was induced last year and had to have an emergency c section.

I also have a bad needle phobia.

It really was fine. I was surprised.

I did a lot of hypnobirthing so the breathing, counting, visualisation etc stuff you can still use (if you've done this), particularly when having the spinal.

If you've got a tailored birth plan you can still do through this, just alter it.

You can still have baby immediately on your chest, delayed cord clamping, partner cutting cord, music etc all of it.

I was so scared but it was fine.

You're lovely baby will still be placed on your chest/in your arms. Your partner can still be with you.

It's different and not what you planned, but still the birth of your first baby and it will be so special.

OP there are no guarantees of a smooth birth even if you were to have a vaginal birth. Out of my current NCT group of 8 people 6 of us have had a caesarean. We’re all recovering fine and have healthy babies.

Oh OP I’m sorry you are in this position. It’s so hard finding out your birth plan is going to change late in the day. With DC2 I went from planning a water birth in a midwife led unit to an ELCS. I felt at every turn the birth I wanted was being taken away from me.

However, to try and reassure you, my ELCS was a lovely experience. I’d never had any surgery before and was petrified but everyone was so kind and calm on the day.

I experienced a vaginal birth with DC1 that ended in a ventouse delivery and episiotomy. It was just over 24 hours of labour from start to finish too. I can say hand on heart both of my birth experiences were magical and empowering and both came with their challenges too. If DC1 had been a section it would have been no less magical because the magic comes from meeting your baby, not the birth. Nobody is any more or less of a mother because of the way they birthed their child.

Hi
i had 2 emergency c sections, am pregnant with my third and was hoping for a vbac but the hospital are not very keen. And then I came across this thread and it is making me feel better!
my c sections were fine, first I had to go under general anaesthetic so that was crap but my recoveries have been perfect, not much pain etc and my babies are very healthy :)
Im finding it difficult to silence the “natural birth movement” and wanted to say that I completely understand how you feel. But please don’t be worried about a c section, it actually is fine, and it definitely is only a moment in time, in a few months you won’t even think about it!

Literally every mum I know pisses themselves when they sneeze. My SIL has had 3 operations trying to repair her tear and 5 years later she still shits herself. My friend had a clitoral tear and struggles to orgasm because of the scarring

Ok I honestly have no idea what the stats are for incontinence and I acknowledge it’ll be higher than c-section, but I’ve never leaked a single drop of wee, not even in the hours after they were born and I had TWO instrumental deliveries! And I don’t know anybody who shits themselves.

Just dropping back in to say that sadly a c section doesn't avoid pelvic floor problems. It's the increasing weight of a baby on your bladder and pelvic floor for months that does some of the damage. (Ask me how I know...)

They likely don't share that information.

I had an elective c-section because it is by far the easiest way to give birth. I was 40+ so aside from a cursory challenge by the medics it was agreed to pretty much straight away.

No Labour and in and out of hospital in a little over 24 hours. It was a breeze. I’ve had more taxing dental work done!

I was in a very different position as I actively chose a csection for mental health reasons.

I too am very needle phobic and have a general medical fear (it was a HUGE decision to even think about trying for a baby!) but I felt the more controlled elective csection was best as I could plan and put in place as many coping measures as possible.

One that really helped with the needle phobia was ametop gel. People use it to numb an area before tattoos etc but it's very effective. I got my partner to put it on my back ahead of the spinal, and on my hand for the cannula-as a result I didn't feel these going in, and I deliberately looked away, had loud music on my headphones/chatted to midwife in theatre as a distraction technique. They also allowed me to have my own music playing which calmed me.

Honestly-I had a great experience. There was a complication too for me as I lost a lot of blood but honestly you wouldn't have known in theatre-it was all very calm, it was only afterwards they explained what had happened (a blood vessel in an impossible place that caused the issue).

So my advice would be to think about the things you can do and control to make you feel better and lessen the impact of your phobia-and be clear with your midwife that that's what you need.

When you become a mother you have to go with it and accept the hand you are dealt and work with whatever that is with positivity and love.

Lots of things will happen with your child in the future that you wouldn’t choose and you probably won’t like. Do we weep and wail? No we get on with being mothers. This is the first step on that journey. Come on op see the bigger picture.

One friend insisted on a vaginal breech birth in these circumstances. It was stressful for her and for the hospital. The only doctor with experience was visiting from Africa where it’s harder to get a c section and vaginal breeches have to be done.

It was all ok but only just. My friend looks back and her view now 16 years on? I was a fucking idiot.

Hi there it's a labour ward. I always say to women how long the labour is going to last and how the baby is going to be born depend on the size and position of the baby and the size and shape of the woman's pelvis. So combinations are limitless and a Caesarean section is usually a straw of bad luck (unless the mum chooses an elective). The team will make you feel lovely on the day and I am absolutely positive you will bond with the baby. If you decide to have another child you will be a good candidate for a VBAC (vaginal birth after Caesarean). In my experience women who had a previous CS for breech labour very well. The important thing is to wait at least 12-18 months before trying for another baby. Women with normal BMI (below 25) at booking who follow a sensible diet (not eating for 2) and a reasonable amount of exercise in pregnancy are usually (but not always) successful at VBAC. I hope it's helps

The Term Breech Trial which made breech birth dangerous overnight was deeply flawed. For example, some centers participating in the trial had no one experienced in conducting the breech birth. This actually was the requirement of being part of the trial! Two years follow-up found no difference in babies' outcomes. It was at this point one of the original authors made a request (published in the Lancet) that the study findings are withdrawn. However the damage was already done. These days there are very few people experienced in conducting a safe breech birth. This is the problem. Most breech babies will birth very well. Sometimes manoeuvres are required but most of UK expertise is now gone. You friend wasn't mad, just brave

She freely admits she would make a different choice now. She got hung up on the “natural birth” thing. Fortunately her baby was quite small.

With my first baby, I specifically said I didn't want a CS. I wanted a water birth! What actually happened was that DS was an undiagnosed, back to back footling breech baby, went onto spontaneous labour at 36+5 and he was delivered by emcs, and everyone was happy and healthy, including me.

With my second baby, I was keen for VBAC, but ended up with a crash emcs due to haemorrhaging. It was a lot more traumatic, but again, the pregnancy resulted in a healthy mother and baby.

These two are my only children, They are now in their teens and I'm in my 50s, so no more babies for me. I have never had a single regret about how they were born. I've never felt inferior as a mum for having them both by CS. It was the only way they were coming out!

There was an episode of Call the Midwife, shortly after my second child was born, back when it was still based on real stories. It focused on a lady whose hips were deformed by polio, and she'd had several healthy pregnancies but no successful births because she'd not been able to deliver her babies. In this episode she had a cs on the new NHS and took home her healthy baby. CSs are wonderful, and if yiu can access one and there is medical need, then why ever wouldn't you.

Have they discussed the possibility of a vaginal breech birth with you? It is still possible to have a vaginal birth in some breech positions.

My last baby did not turn head down until 34 weeks so I researched the risks and benefits thoroughly and spoke with my very experienced midwife about my options. In the end I concluded that it depends on the skills of your birthing team. IF you have clinicians who are competent in conducting breech births the outcomes are very similar to a c-section for a second or subsequent birth. If it is your first birth then breech vaginal birth is riskier.

I believe you cannot repeat the ECV this late in pregnancy as the risk of rupturing your waters (or placenta?) are too high. Plus it is very unlikely to work now as baby is much bigger.

On the plus side, should you have a second baby at least 18-24 months after your first one, you would be considered a good candidate for a VBAC as your c-section was solely due to fetal factors rather than an obstructed labour etc which might happen again.