Disappointed to Need a C-Section - Any Advice Welcomed

[HelplesslyHoping24]

Hi everyone,

I’m new here so apologies if this isn’t the right way of using this but I’m desperate for any advice / encouragement / words of comfort.

I’m 38+5 weeks pregnant with my first baby (a girl) who is due on 14th June.

I had been planning and excited for a vaginal birth, but she has been stuck in breech / transverse position for most of the pregnancy and as the due date has got closer it has become clear I’m going to need a c-section.

I’ve tried everything to get her to turn head-down - Spinning Babies, moxibustion and a very painful ECV - none of which have been successful sadly.

I recently had an appointment with the consultant who advised an elective c-section for safety, which I have provisionally agreed to, but I’m devastated and really don’t want to go through with the surgery.

Has anyone else had the experience of their birth plan changing massively and how did you come to terms with it?

These past days I haven’t been able to stop crying as I feel like a huge part of the pregnancy and birth experience has suddenly been taken away, and I’ve lost all my excitement and happiness about meeting the baby.

I’m not wanting to say anything negative about c-sections but for me it was something I really desperately didn’t want, partly because I’m incredibly needle/surgery-phobic and also because I really wanted to try and give birth and have that part of the experience.

I’m really scared about the procedure and the recovery and I’m not sure it’s something I’m going to be able to handle.

Does anyone have any words of comfort or advice around the c-section experience? I’m really dreading it and I also feel like I’m not going to connect with the experience or my baby because I’m so sad and scared.

Has anyone ever had a breech baby turn this late, or am I just clutching at straws?

Should I ask for another ECV?

Has anyone decided against an advised c-section and continued to have a successful vaginal breech birth, or is it too dangerous?

I haven’t expressed myself very well here, and I really mean no negativity towards anyone who has had a c-section, but I’m so disappointed at how this has gone and I’m feeling so miserable so I guess I’m just looking for any words of comfort and encouragement at this point, because I feel like all my options have run out and what was meant to be a happy time has turned into a bad dream.

Thank you.

I had this, after having a home birth booked, too. It's disappointing, and I was sad about it afterwards for a couple of weeks, but you forget it soon enough. A healthy baby is the key.

Ps with any luck the baby will turn beforehand.

My perfect home drug free water birth became an emergency c-section. Like you it was the one thing I didn't want. But after 17 hours in labour and with my baby at risk of course I just had to accept it and get on with it. Meeting my baby was still magical and beautiful, we bonded perfectly and I healed very quickly, leaving the hospital on day 2.

I know your plans have been scuppered but I promise you once your baby is here you will only care that they are safe and in your arms. You gave the chance to plan for this and make it as close to your perfect birth as a C-section can be.

For example if you wanted a vaginal birth because you wanted your baby to have the benefits of a natural birth you can take a clean muslin cloth and use it to pass the vaginal bacteria over the baby's face mimicking the affects of birth and ensuring they get the correct bacteria. You can pump and store colostrum prior to labour to give to the baby immediately after birth as a C-section can mean milk not coming in so quickly.

You will be conscious, prepared and present which will be lovely. Many people like me who had emergency C-sections after a long time in labour are exhausted and it's harder to feel present.

You'll know exactly when your baby is coming so you can be totally ready. There are many advantages so I would focus on the positives, mitigate the negatives and embrace this. The most important thing is for your baby to be safe. Best of luck.

I had an EMCS on Thursday evening. My milk was coming in that Saturday (I kind of noticed white cloudiness streaking through) and was fully in by Sunday morning. C section doesn't necessarily mean milk delayed. I also was a GBS carrier so not being delivered vaginally prevented my baby being exposed to that potentially dangerous bacteria also.

I had a long labour then c section with my first. I felt like I'd missed out so had a vbac with my second. Honestly, both of those labours were rough, and the vbac left with me with injuries that still flare up every month.

When I got pregnant with my third, it was my choice. I decided that I couldn't face another nightmare of hours of pain and slow dilation, a failed epidural, tearing, a prolapse, among any other things. So I opted for a c section after much deliberation, and, I'll admit, sadness, that I'd never get the beautiful natural, intervention, injury free birth I'd always imagined. Every time I remembered the pain of contractions and how the epidural wouldn't take or seeing the tray full of instruments before they tore me with the forceps, I decided to go for the quickest exit route possible.i felt sad and defeated about it until, when in recovery, I heard labouring women screaming and knew I'd dodged a bullet. Never regretted it again! My third labour could have been easier than the other two but I wasn't taking any chances. If you haven't had a baby before, the pain of childbirth can be out of this world, and when things go wrong, it can be terrifying and very traumatic. It's better to get your head around the c section now, in advance, than things go wrong during a certain kind of birth you had been expecting.

I had an emergency c-section after a 5 day labour. 4 litre blood loss, sepsis, hypovolemic shock and cardiac arrest. Due to the size of my baby they should have suggested that I have a c-section in the first place - he was 11lbs, they kept telling me all would be fine. He had severe sepsis, recovered due to his size. The nicu nurse said a smaller baby wouldn’t have made it. This resulted in severe PND, which lasted for 8 months. I still have to have regular blood transfusions, they’re still not sure what has happened. I went to NCT classes, I do believe they push the whole ‘natural birth’ thing. I wasn’t super hung up on having a natural birth, thought I would be fine, I have a fairly high pain tolerance, was estimated that baby would only be around the 9lb mark so an elective section was never bought up. Please don’t be hung up on it, I don’t think that many women experience the perfect, smooth natural birth you envisage. Childbirth is dangerous, they are recommending it based on your situation. Your recovery should be quite smooth as you won’t have gone into labour. My sister had an elective based on what happened to me. She had the ‘perfect’ birth, recovered quickly and mental health and physical health in tact.

Thinking of you today.

If baby isn't already here, then good luck for later! If baby is already here, then I hope it all went wonderfully. If you're in the middle of your operation right now, then see you on the other side!

Yes thinking of you OP!

I hope today went well and you've met your gorgeous baby! Xxx

Hi lovely,
I'm sorry that things aren't going the way you would have hoped. I hope I can encourage you a little.
I really didn't want any intervention and was quite scared of it all. I got to 40+9 and they ended up doing a stretch and sweep (which I was adamant I wouldn't have up until that point) which broke my waters, the drip to speed up contractions (which I had dreaded), then a forceps delivery with episiotomy and significant blood loss (and a blood transfusion the next day). It really didn't go to plan and I had spent the whole pregnancy scared and anxious about these things. But honestly? It's like they never happened once my baby girl was in my arms. Your hormones take over and your baby will be all you think about. The drugs help too 😂
Things to remember:
Your midwife is your advocate. They are there for you and to make sure your voice is heard and your wishes are followed.
Nothing happens without your informed consent. You are in control.
And this is the bit that sounds harsh - if a C-section is best for the baby, then you are going to do it because you love your baby and want the best for them. When they told me they needed to do an instrumental delivery I fell to pieces and the consultant was really firm with me (which felt mean at the time but I totally get it now) and told me I needed to think about my baby and do what is best for her and put everything else aside (baby was in distress and needed to come out asap).
At least with a C-section you know what you are getting. A planned vaginal birth may still end up in a C-section after hours of labouring or complications.
Oh, and please be honest with your medical care team about how you feel and ask for what you need. When told about the forceps and episiotomy, I started to have a panic attack and asked for a minute with my husband and for gas and air. The gas and air calmed me right down. If you are worried that you won't cope, you can discuss that with them and maybe see if sedation is an option or numbing cream before needles , etc. You won't be the first person in that situation so they should have tips and tricks to make it easier for you but sometimes you do need to ask and potentially be quite forceful. Wishing you all the best!

Thank you all so much, you kind, sweet strangers who I now consider friends! And thank you for checking in!

I had my beautiful baby girl yesterday at 9.29am on Monday 10th June at 39+3 weeks, weighing 6.69lbs… and you were all right - it was worth every scary, beautiful, daunting second!

I got up at 5.30am to get ready to head to my elective c-section for 7.00am. At 5.55am as we were preparing to leave, my waters broke! It sounds funny but from that moment I knew my baby was meant to be coming that day, and suddenly it was action stations and my husband and I got into “let’s do this thing” mode.

It was the push I needed. they scanned upon arrival her she was still transverse, and I knew a c-section was now inevitable. But it somehow all felt meant to be.

As a huge needle/surgery phobe it was very mentally challenging to submit, but none of the things were as bad as my mind had built them up to be, and it truly was so worth in when they held up my beautiful daughter and we heard her cry.

I didn’t think I’d be so in love, it always sounds like a cliche but it’s like nothing I’ve ever known and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat for her.

For anyone reading who like me is also scared of the procedure, or disappointed about their birth plan changing, listen to what these amazing women have said - it’s really not bad, it really is beautiful and it really is worth it.

Love to you all and thank you for getting me through it. Your words truly made a difference and now I get to sit here, beyond elated, holding my little perfect baby girl.

xx

Ahhh @HelplesslyHoping24 huge congratulations!

I have had 2 sections, first unplanned - second planned.

The planned one was a dream in comparison - I wasn't tired from labouring, i was relaxed.

After the emergency section I struggled to bond, didn't get that euphoric feeling people describe, did to skin to skin, but was so unwell from all the drugs I had during labour that I wasn't really coherent. During Covid too, so DH left a few hours after birth, it was the middle of the night and I sent him home as we had both been awake for over 24hours.
Puked all over myself, whilst holding the baby.

Planned was a dream, baby was born at a reasonable hour, I was prepared to pay for my own room for night number 2 (they didn't charge me in the end!)
I got that gorgeous euphoria when they were placed on my chest and I didn't want to let them go.
I felt semi OK on the post partum ward. (Appreciate that may have been because I had experience too).

My advice:
Take a pillow you are comfortable with from home (took feeding pillow the second time).

Stay on top of your pain medication, even if you think you aren't in any pain.

Mobilise quickly and take opportunities to move around slowly and steady once mobilised.

For DC2 my DH took longer off, but that was because we had an energetic 2 year old at home too and he took the lead on entertaining them!

Ahhh just read your update after my now not relevant post!!!

Congratulation OP! 💖💖

Congratulations! 🤩

Congratulations!!

Congratulations!

Congratulations! If you're planning to breastfeed, I found a pillow or cushion stopped baby from being right on top of the scar and made everything more comfortable.

Congratulations!

Also if you do want to breastfeed experiment with positions. I found they really push the rugby hold after sections and that didn't work for me or either of my kids.

Congratulations @HelplesslyHoping24 💐

Congratulations @HelplesslyHoping24 🤗I'm so glad we were able to help you face it.

Congratulations OP your update made me well up a bit! My top tips got recovery; stay on top of your painkillers and take them even if you think you don’t need to; the midwife told me it’s normal to still need them 10 days after. Don’t do too much but try and stay mobile as well. Take your dressing off in the shower, it seems scary but it’s fine. Don’t lift anything! I lifted the car seat after 3 weeks and opened my wound. If your bed allows tie your dressing gown cord to the end of it so you can pull yourself up. And enjoy your new daughter!

Aww congratulations!

I had a vaginal breech birth. The doctors were pressing me to have a C section, but for some reason nobody bothered to explain how dangerous a breech birth could be so I refused to have a C section. I was really lucky to have 2 breech trained midwives on consecutive shifts and in the end the birth was straightforward. It was only afterwards that I realised all the things that could have happened.
My advice would be to speak to your local midwives and see if there are any with experience as this makes all the difference, both of mine had spent time working in Africa, so both were very experienced. I think the kind of breech makes a difference too, the safest is when both legs are straight up. Also not having too big a baby!

Missed the update, congratulations!!!

Aw congratulations OP. So glad you made this thread and found it so helpful!

Please listen to what I said about your bowels earlier 😂🥰